NibbyJibby
Posts: 85
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline
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As much as power exchange can be physical, to me it is more about the psychological. Both can be found real time person to person and also via online.
In having experienced online and some intense online, for me i have found it fulfilling. I would caution one to follow their gut instinct and to ensure trust and respect is first and foremost and yes one can be totally humiliated with online power exchange and to remain with trust and respect. For a submissive it works if inner submissive needs and cravings are stimulated and if one is willing to obey complete... within limits and established parameters. Of course this also requires a Domme or Master that although strict and controlling is also with compassion and and insight, willing to be accommodating to personal situations as they arise. For a sub to start cheating with tasks or expectations can be easily done but it is not worth it as it is a karma killer and can easily become habit forming. In that aspect a sub is perhaps in greater need of self discipline than in person to person. In all honesty i have found online Dommes to be understanding of situations especially if they can be informed in advance, but also after the fact if a trust and respect exists.
The aspects of punishments you speak of sounds as there was communication breakdown or a purposeful slack in performing tasks or expectations. Although not person to person a experienced sincere online Domme is with keen insight and perspective, tends to analyze and to get as deep in your head as possible. She will know your persona, habits, character traits, value system, beliefs, preferences, etc. She will develop Her gut instinct and to know if Her subject lies. Trust is not something to be toyed with and i have found it always best to be open and honest than to risk losing trust and respect. With online chat it is easy to research what was said, to log it and to bring it forth at a later date. Online Dommes i have found can be clever with this approach so it is best that answers are consistent! Truth and honesty is easiest way to ensure such, it also shows respect.
With online i have found personal aspects can develop outside of sm and a true friendship can develop. If there is connection it can also become most time consuming. You can talk of any subject in my opinion and to sound respectful. I can not see where your comment/concern as to making mention of preference as to wearing a bra would be a concern because in essence you are both in the same mindset... mindset of power exchange. Persons into power exchange are in my belief open minded about fetishes, preferences, etc.
In answer to your question of trust... you know exactly as you know with a person to person relationship... communicate, develop intuition and trust. Whatever your values are be sure they are good solid values and stick to them. Give respect and demand respect... yes a sub/slave is worthy of respect of values. I have found myself very much humiliated and degraded and to remain with utmost respect. For that to happen a trusting relationship had to develop where over time we each proved ourselves to other. When there is no respect, trust, open communication and when insight and intuition says it is abusive or not good... then be strong and exit stage right. I think a very important aspect is from the beginning to see if there is a mutual value structure in place. Is it a two way venue, is it mutually fulfilling, is it exploitive or abusive. Look for red flags early and be true to your gut instinct.
Online is different and often gets a bad rap but as for myself i have no problem with it and have met some great people and had intense experiences and limits pushed. I enjoy to have limits pushed and so important my Mistress is with cleverness and imagination. If eyes are wide open the scammers and the insincere are typically easy to spot and if not at first glance, then shortly thereafter.
nibbyjibby
< Message edited by NibbyJibby -- 2/22/2010 3:35:17 AM >
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RE: how does online work? - 
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