RE: Financial domination

RE: Financial domination (Full Version)

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Heulwen -> RE: Financial domination (3/17/2010 9:17:58 PM)
Financial domination that does not leave the sub less able to care for him or herself outside of the relationship if the Dom/me drops dead or they break up seems to me to be totally about what works for the parties in the relationship. Not for anyone else to judge. Financial domination that leaves the sub less informed, less capable, with fewer marketable skills, less able to take care of him or herself in a practical way if the Dom/me gets hit by a truck, is in my opinion irresponsible Domination and not an act of love.

Andalusite -> RE: Financial domination (3/17/2010 11:32:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsHValentine quote: ORIGINAL: Andalusite Asking for money makes a woman a pro-Domme, although I wouldn't say it makes her dependent. I'd think it would mean there is no chance of an actual relationship, just adding another client. Are you saying any woman who controls her subs money is a professional? Not at all. In fact, I posted earlier in the thread that while my former submissive and I were involved, he added my name to his bank account, asked my permission for major purchases, and I occasionally insisted that he put off optional things. If someone buys gifts for someone they are in a relationship with, or contributes to household expenses, or has a joint account, or turns over their paycheck and gets an allowance, or otherwise engages in that type of financial control, I wouldn't consider that to be prostitution at all. Explicitly charging for services or to continue contact, especially when no relationship exists, whether in money or barter, is prostitution. I would consider that to also include financial dominants or tribute dominants, whether or not they engage in any other kinks.

no1butme -> RE: Financial domination (3/18/2010 7:01:39 AM)
quote: If someone buys gifts for someone they are in a relationship with, or contributes to household expenses, or has a joint account, or turns over their paycheck and gets an allowance, or otherwise engages in that type of financial control, I wouldn't consider that to be prostitution at all. Explicitly charging for services or to continue contact, especially when no relationship exists, whether in money or barter, is prostitution. I would consider that to also include financial dominants or tribute dominants, whether or not they engage in any other kinks. Ok, so wait, my being an accountant, or financial adviser, psychologist, etc means Im a prostitute? Do me a favor and read what you just typed again. Your saying that anyone who charges for services or to continue contact (which could be consultation) when there is no relationship, for money or barter is a prostitute? LOL... you just labled most of the US as prostitutes. Prositution should not even be brought into this equasion. BTW, do you work for free? If not, then oh wait, your saying you are a prostitute as well? right on. Do you see where Im getting? Prostitution consists of soliciting your physical body for sex. There is reason it is illegal. If what you say is true, and we are all prostitutes because we insist on being paid to go into work, then we are breaking the law. What a concept. Financial Domination has come a long way in the past 10 years, and not all for good. You have a lot of women in the "sex" industry who have given it such a bad rep, as well as women who take money and run. Then and at the same time, you have boys who have jerked women around to the point that they demand a tribute up front so there is no time wasted on those who are just out to play games and not establish a relationship. Its a catch 22. It makes the whole thing look like some fucked up fetish thats nothing but a con. Honestly its not. Like any other fetish, with two consenting adults, it can be just as beautiful. Different strokes for different folks.

RavenMuse -> RE: Financial domination (3/18/2010 7:05:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsLeatherLace69 I read a few entries in another thread about financial domination. How do you feel about financial domination by Dom/mes? Is it a valid part of the lifestyle? Its got naff all to do with the lifestyle that I recognise and everything to do with the old adage that "a fool and his money are soon parted" Sure, if some prat wants to throw money away, he will find no shortage of people willing to take it off him. It has as much to do with 'Domination' as the moon has to cheese.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Financial domination (3/18/2010 7:30:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RavenMuse quote: ORIGINAL: MsLeatherLace69 I read a few entries in another thread about financial domination. How do you feel about financial domination by Dom/mes? Is it a valid part of the lifestyle? Its got naff all to do with the lifestyle that I recognise and everything to do with the old adage that "a fool and his money are soon parted" Sure, if some prat wants to throw money away, he will find no shortage of people willing to take it off him. It has as much to do with 'Domination' as the moon has to cheese. This comes off sounding like a very uninformed opinion to me. Are there scammers out there? Certainly. However, there are also legitimate Dommes who also practice financial domination as a part of their power exchange. In fact, i know that there are several Dommes right on this board who exercise financial control over their subs. There are people who genuinely get off on being dominated financially. Some go as far as to even desire to be blackmailed. Those individuals get just as much joy out of sending a check to their Mistress as other subs do from taking lashes from a whip or flogger. Frankly, they are just two different types of pain. To minimize the validity of somebody else's kink is both narrow minded, and somewhat foolish. You certainly have a right to your opinion, but in this instance, your opinion is wrong. Financial domination IS a valid form of domination. It may not be your particular kink. But it is the kink of choice for a lot of people. If it weren't, then the financial Dommes would disappear.

RavenMuse -> RE: Financial domination (3/18/2010 7:37:14 AM)
My opinion is My opinion... It is what it is, it most certainly is not WRONG Nor is it 'uninformed' I know the arguments, probably been hearing them long before you had cause to think about them I am just of the opinion they are bollox. I do not say your opinion is wrong.. it is simply different.

no1butme -> RE: Financial domination (3/18/2010 7:54:33 AM)
You know the saying, opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. Fact is, slavery in itself is wrong.. causing another person/animal pain is violence and is wrong.. I can sit here and list all the things WRONG with many fetishes.. and they would be FACTS, not just opinion. Things that in actuality, if someone was caught doing, would spend time in jail for. A person taking money from someone who wants to give it, (unless it is for physical sexual gratification) is NOT illegal. HOWEVER When it comes to two consenting adults, it FD becomes a fetish just like your love/like for "bigotry", spanking.. and physical punishment of an adult. (when I say bigotry I mean the poly household which in my opinion is the same thing). Not saying its WRONG, it just depends on the person/persons partaking in that fetish/life style. Again, to each their own but you do NOT have to bash those who include it in their list of fetishes or call them whores or prostitutes.

Smutmonger -> RE: Financial domination (3/18/2010 7:54:55 AM)
I guess the idiotic scammers on the site who flood people with mail in an attempt to hack or otherwise defraud thier accounts (nigerian scammers) have a "kink" we should not be judging as well? The kink for taking advantage of desperate fools? I don't see much difference between the "money Dommes" who give nada back...and this sort of trash.

RavenMuse -> RE: Financial domination (3/18/2010 8:06:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: no1butme spouted a load of irrelevant crap Keep your PC bullshit in your own yard. I ain't PC, yes I am a judgemental git, I have no problem with that. A forum is about opinions, My opinion of this opportunistic practice is that it has naff all to do with the lifestyle. You don't like that... tough, I ain't here to pander to you. Feel free to post your OWN opinion. you are as entitled to that as I am to mine. Plus where did all the crap about prostitutes come from? If you are going to throw shit, make sure you do so at the right target. I refered to the practice, I didn't point fingers at any individuals.

no1butme -> RE: Financial domination (3/18/2010 8:11:17 AM)
Hold on wait, who said none of them give back? I have a few boys and I spend a LOAD of time with them... they have more now then they ever had before me. Just like you have jerks who meet up with and beat the shit out of women or use deadly weapons to mark them, and try to call it domination, there are those who have wonderful relationships that include pain as a sexual stimulant. Financial Domination is no different. Just like you have women who spend and give plenty to their slaves, you have women who con men, and MEN who pose as women to con men. Most of which btw, that we have busted on our site were Dominant men. Seems the ones with the biggest problem with FD is Dominant men and that is really a shame. As far as scammers that spam, there are hackers.. Has NOTHING to do with fetish or kinks... FD is a fetish. BTW, just to point something out... I see Raven, you list wicca on your profile.. do you realize that just a few short years ago, Wicca was actually made a religion... but wait, does that mean it was any less of a religion before it was legally labled? Yet people still find it necessary to bash the crap out of it and say its something it is not. Wow, seems like the same thing you guys are doing to FD. Like Wicca, FD has been around longer then publicised. Wives/girlfriends, accountants have been financially controlling/managing households for years! You know, I dont have a problem with people who dislike FD and dont believe in it. I personally believe in equil opportunity, so Female supremacy is not something I believe in. However, I dont sit here and bash those who belive it, or call catagorize them in with prostitutes. Thats like me saying you are a woman beater.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Financial domination (3/18/2010 8:16:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RavenMuse My opinion is My opinion... It is what it is, it most certainly is not WRONG Nor is it 'uninformed' I know the arguments, probably been hearing them long before you had cause to think about them I am just of the opinion they are bollox. I do not say your opinion is wrong.. it is simply different. Actually, you ARE wrong. Opinions are the currency of choice when the matter is devoid of facts. That is not the case in this particular instance. There are many financial subs/slaves out there. i happen to know several. They are not fairies or hobbits. They are not fictitious creatures. They exist. Their existence is not subject to question. Nor is the existence of financial Dommes (just do a quick check on this website if you need proof). Thus, i don't understand your assertion that financial domination "has as much to do with domination as the moon has to do with cheese". You may believe that financial domination is a total scam. And perhaps in some instances you're right. But to assert that it is not a valid form of domination is just.........wrong. For most people, the very LAST thing that they would be willing hand over control of is their finances. With that being the case, wouldn't that make financial domination the MOST POWERFUL form of domination? Financial domination is not my particular kink. Moreover, i acknowledge that there are lots of scammers out there. But you have to admit that giving up control of your bank account is far more difficult than allowing someone to hit you with a flogger or "force" you to have sex with them. As i said earlier, it may be the most difficult form of submission to achieve, and therefore, it may actually put financial Dommes on the TOP of the domination hierarchy. [;)] Personally, i wouldn't go anywhere near a financial Domme. But that is because i don't choose to participate in that particular kink, NOT because i fail to acknowledge its existence or validity.

no1butme -> RE: Financial domination (3/18/2010 8:20:22 AM)
Raven darling, I did not say that YOU called Financial Domme prostitutes. I posted in response to a few comments.. take what you want out of what I said to your past responses if it fits.. either way its all good. My point is that there is no good reason to call names or lump them into an illegal profession category because you dont like the kink. No, Im not spouting bullshit, you just seem to want to take what I am saying personally. I wasnt just posting to you. No one was here bashing you and your carving of a womans skin with a deadly weapon. (yes I pointed that out as an example). If she is consenting, then more power to you both. Oh and Im not saying I am not into that... you would be surprised to know what I am into... it is all just a comparison in regard to another post.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Financial domination (3/18/2010 8:30:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: no1butme FD becomes a fetish just like your love/like for "bigotry", spanking.. and physical punishment of an adult. (when I say bigotry I mean the poly household which in my opinion is the same thing). Ummmm, i think you mean "bigamy". Of course, Raven could very well love "bigotry" as well. [:D]

RedMagic1 -> RE: Financial domination (3/18/2010 8:34:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 As i said earlier, it may be the most difficult form of submission to achieve, and therefore, it may actually put financial Dommes on the TOP of the domination hierarchy. [;)] I don't wish to insert myself in an argument, and on some level you meant this only as a joke. However, I'd like to say that, from a practical perspective, your statement is not true. Male subs, outside a committed relationship, who claim financial domination as their primary kink, tend to be the skeeziest patrons of prodommes, period. Talk big, never come through, or turn on the "manipulating bitch" in a second. The women who primarily cater to that clientele are the ones who aren't good enough at impact play or psychodrama to attract a more stable customer base. There are pros who primarily offer other services and use findomme as a fallback for a little extra money. But those who call themselves professional findommes, end of, don't tend to be at the top of a hierarchy. Edited to clarify meaning.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Financial domination (3/18/2010 8:40:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 I don't wish to insert myself in an argument, and on some level you meant this only as a joke. i definitely meant it as a joke. i would never say that one form of domination or submission is better than another. Each has its own merits. However, i do understand your point.

Andalusite -> RE: Financial domination (3/18/2010 8:41:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: no1butme Ok, so wait, my being an accountant, or financial adviser, psychologist, etc means Im a prostitute? Do me a favor and read what you just typed again. Your saying that anyone who charges for services or to continue contact (which could be consultation) when there is no relationship, for money or barter is a prostitute? There is a difference between a prostitute and a FemDom, they provide different services, you're right, I was overtired and misspoke. I meant to say that by accepting fees (whether money or expensive gifts) for engaging in any form of domination or BDSM, they automatically become a professional Dominant, just as an accountant who is paid is a professional accountant.[:D] If an artist gets paid, they are a professional, if they haven't sold anything yet, it's a hobby.

no1butme -> RE: Financial domination (3/18/2010 9:10:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Andalusite quote: ORIGINAL: no1butme Ok, so wait, my being an accountant, or financial adviser, psychologist, etc means Im a prostitute? Do me a favor and read what you just typed again. Your saying that anyone who charges for services or to continue contact (which could be consultation) when there is no relationship, for money or barter is a prostitute? There is a difference between a prostitute and a FemDom, they provide different services, you're right, I was overtired and misspoke. I meant to say that by accepting fees (whether money or expensive gifts) for engaging in any form of domination or BDSM, they automatically become a professional Dominant, just as an accountant who is paid is a professional accountant.[:D] If an artist gets paid, they are a professional, if they haven't sold anything yet, it's a hobby. I can accept pro Domme, although I have been a Domme for many many many years and while I never said, you need to pay for your time with me, I have taken gifts that my sub/slaves have given, either bought or made. That does not make me a "Pro Domme". When my boys want to send me gifts and tribute, while I do not make it mandatory for our relationship to exist, I do not feel that I should be considered a Pro Domme. My view on Pro Domme is someone who provides a service to those seeking short term BDSM/Fetish fullfillment (without sexual intercourse), in exchange for money in any form. I dont belive any Dominant woman (pro or otherwise) should ever engage in sex with a submissive with money being exchanged, as that IS prostitution. Doing so does not give her the title of Financial Domme. btw, if you all see a few spaces or extra letters that dont belong, its only because my parrot seems to be fixated on the keys. Its either let him on the desk or listen to his temper tantrum.. LOL

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