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RE: Handeling Rude Doms - 2/23/2010 6:59:59 PM   
KatyLied


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I rarely get rude emails here.  I think it is important not to allow strangers to bother you.  It is a waste of time and energy.  It's also unrealistic to expect strangers to conform to your standards of behavior.  I don't block, I simply ignore anything that is not worthy of my time or energy.  Sometimes I will spend a few minutes laughing at the stupidity of some of them.

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RE: Handeling Rude Doms - 2/25/2010 12:26:40 AM   
jujubeeMB


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Yeah, speaking of rude emails, I got called a "stupid fucking cunt" in an email today, for no apparent reason. You've gotta wonder if, when they're making their form letters, they've got one hand on their dick. That would also explain the difficulty forming coherent sentences...

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RE: Handeling Rude Doms - 2/25/2010 1:23:49 AM   
MasterJC69


Posts: 9
Joined: 2/18/2010
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I am new to this site but I do have a question that maybe some of the sub/slaves may be able to answer for me. I have written several who have left their profiles very vague and with little information.

I have been very polite and respectful in my approach in asking what age range they are looking for, what experience they have in the lifestyle and what it is they are seeking. I have not received a single reply from any of the emails and I know they have been read.

I find this in itself very rude to not take the time to reply to someone who has at least showed an interest and took a few minutes to ask a few questions worthy of an answer.

I myself do not believe in being rude or disrespectful to people and simply ask the same in return. I would greatly appreciate feedback from the folks here in the threads.

Thanks.

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RE: Handeling Rude Doms - 2/25/2010 1:50:43 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterJC69

I myself do not believe in being rude or disrespectful to people and simply ask the same in return. I would greatly appreciate feedback from the folks here in the threads.


Standard answer:

This is the internet. Nobody owes you anything.

You will continue to be ignored indefinitely by the women you write to until you become interesting. Moaning about manners will not solve your problem. Having something to say to which they actually wish to respond is the only thing that will have any effect.

There are a gazillion threads on this subject-some of them contain useful information. The search button is at the top right of the page.

edited because the grammar of one of the sentences was making my teeth hurt.


< Message edited by VaguelyCurious -- 2/25/2010 2:19:20 AM >


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RE: Handeling Rude Doms - 2/25/2010 2:08:14 AM   
Lorenzo19


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I have had the same experience as you, MasterJC. I dont think there is a single answer to it.

From what I have read on CM and in some of the profiles and My gut feelings I surmise the following:

The subbies get so much mail that unless you tweak their curiosity or feed their ego in some way your mail goes straight into the trash with no reply. It is simply a matter of too much mail not enough time.

The other problem is that their profiles are so vague that they get flooded with mail from every Dom with every fetish imaginable.

Since you basically have one shot to make yourself interesting you cant do the chitty chatty thing. You got to make yourself real interesting real fast. which leads to another problem....

The girls with vague profiles get flooded with mail they consider rude from Humiliation specialized Doms looking for a humiliation style sub. They dont realize it is not rude mail.. it is humiliation email. So they get all pissed off and start threads like this.

It would be good for everyone if they wrote profiles that are descriptive... But I dont think that is a realistic solution because of several problems. 1) some people dont know themselves well enough to know where to begin. 2) some people are not comfortable enough with their fetish to articulate it. 3) some peple are simply not good writers 4) some people think if they say exactly what they want it makes it too easy for the fakers to waste their time.

So, in the end... Live with it and do the best you can... You'll get a feel for it... Try to read between the lines... People expose themselves in subtle ways. Good luck and dont take it too hard.

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RE: Handeling Rude Doms - 2/25/2010 2:14:09 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorenzo19

The girls with vague profiles get flooded with mail they consider rude from Humiliation specialized Doms looking for a humiliation style sub. They dont realize it is not rude mail.. it is humiliation email. So they get all pissed off and start threads like this.


The phrase 'nonconsensually imposing your kink' springs to mind...

quote:

It would be good for everyone if they wrote profiles that are descriptive... But I dont think that is a realistic solution because of several problems. 1) some people dont know themselves well enough to know where to begin. 2) some people are not comfortable enough with their fetish to articulate it. 3) some peple are simply not good writers 4) some people think if they say exactly what they want it makes it too easy for the fakers to waste their time.


You missed out 5) You just aren't that important to them-it's less effort to just delete the spam than to put time and energy into writing a profile saying who you are and what you want, only to still get abusive spam.


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RE: Handeling Rude Doms - 2/25/2010 2:16:48 AM   
MasterJC69


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Lorenzo,
I appreciate your advice. To be very honest I am very new to this site as well as being single again so I guess I am a little rusty at this. I was married for 14 years and lost my wife a year ago here in March. Though I am not new to the lifestyle, I am however new to this whole internet thing.

Pretty much I was just making a point of people getting upset with getting rude emails and when they get one that is polite and respectful, why not take 2 minutes to write back.

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RE: Handeling Rude Doms - 2/25/2010 2:45:57 AM   
Lorenzo19


Posts: 237
Joined: 2/8/2010
Status: offline
I knew you werent bitching. Just puzzled. Now you know. Cyber space is a little bizzare at times. Sorta like alice in wonderland sometimes when compared to real life. In real life people are overly polite, usually. In cyber space the real person tends to come out because they think no one is watching them or will hold them accountable.

Just gotta try to just ignore the unpleasantries.

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Give Me your heart. Make it real. Or else forget about it.

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RE: Handeling Rude Doms - 2/25/2010 2:47:56 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorenzo19

Just gotta try to just ignore the unpleasantries.


Anybody else feel like they just overdosed on Cosmic Irony Juice?!?


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RE: Handeling Rude Doms - 2/25/2010 2:57:11 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorenzo19

I have had the same experience as you, MasterJC. I dont think there is a single answer to it.

From what I have read on CM and in some of the profiles and My gut feelings I surmise the following:

The subbies get so much mail that unless you tweak their curiosity or feed their ego in some way your mail goes straight into the trash with no reply. It is simply a matter of too much mail not enough time.

The other problem is that their profiles are so vague that they get flooded with mail from every Dom with every fetish imaginable.

Since you basically have one shot to make yourself interesting you cant do the chitty chatty thing. You got to make yourself real interesting real fast. which leads to another problem....

The girls with vague profiles get flooded with mail they consider rude from Humiliation specialized Doms looking for a humiliation style sub. They dont realize it is not rude mail.. it is humiliation email. So they get all pissed off and start threads like this.

It would be good for everyone if they wrote profiles that are descriptive... But I dont think that is a realistic solution because of several problems. 1) some people dont know themselves well enough to know where to begin. 2) some people are not comfortable enough with their fetish to articulate it. 3) some peple are simply not good writers 4) some people think if they say exactly what they want it makes it too easy for the fakers to waste their time.

So, in the end... Live with it and do the best you can... You'll get a feel for it... Try to read between the lines... People expose themselves in subtle ways. Good luck and dont take it too hard.


Ha. The irony of you posting in the Rude Dom thread and not even having a clue that you are the picture that shows up in Wiki is priceless...

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RE: Handeling Rude Doms - 2/25/2010 3:04:18 AM   
Lorenzo19


Posts: 237
Joined: 2/8/2010
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The above two posts are a perfet example of what I'm talking about. I usually just ignore them but I think they prove the point I am making. How fortuitous. smile.

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Everything I needed to know about life I learned by killing smart people and eating thier brains.
Give Me your heart. Make it real. Or else forget about it.

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RE: Handeling Rude Doms - 2/25/2010 3:13:29 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorenzo19

The above two posts are a perfet example of what I'm talking about. I usually just ignore them but I think they prove the point I am making. How fortuitous. smile.


What I said was fair comment-you've made several posts on this thread defending the right of men on this site to randomly send abusive unsolicited spam to women on this site on the off-chance that it might just possibly turn them on, and attacking women for getting 'huffy' when they ask how to avoid it.

Then you turn around to someone else and tell them that you 'know they weren't bitching' (when they kind of were) and that they should 'ignore the unpleasantry' of people not responding to their mail.

That is ironic.


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RE: Handeling Rude Doms - 2/25/2010 3:15:03 AM   
MasterJC69


Posts: 9
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shakes my head and sighs

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RE: Handeling Rude Doms - 2/25/2010 3:21:13 AM   
Eigenaar


Posts: 352
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Status: offline
That subs/slaves are swamped with messages, which is often used as excuse, is a blunt lie. I had and have access to accounts of females. More than 99% of the messages are not worth responding to, though.

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RE: Handeling Rude Doms - 2/25/2010 3:36:43 AM   
SoulPiercer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: wittynamehere

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouskitten8
And why do these "Doms", who are supposed to understand women, treat us with such disrespect when they don't know us?

What has led to your assumption that people who are dominant all "understand" females? Why only that gender?

In any event, your assumption is wrong. Being dominant has zero correlation with understanding females (or males, or any other gender). Some dominants understand people, and some don't.

If you're going to make baseless assumptions like "all dominant people understand everybody else", you can probably understand that perhaps some of those dominant people made the assumption about you that "all submissive people want to be spoken down to in messages". Some do, and some don't. If YOU don't, don't reply.

Or, get angry, and make a thread about it, to add to the other 6000 threads on the exact same topic.



I hope this doesn't come across as my being rude, but this post is awesome. This saved me at least 4 hours of researching The Great Dom Guide trying to determine how I missed the chapter on Understanding Women.

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RE: Handeling Rude Doms - 2/25/2010 3:40:57 AM   
Level


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Agreed!

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RE: Handeling Rude Doms - 2/25/2010 3:54:19 AM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulPiercer

quote:

ORIGINAL: wittynamehere

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouskitten8
And why do these "Doms", who are supposed to understand women, treat us with such disrespect when they don't know us?

What has led to your assumption that people who are dominant all "understand" females? Why only that gender?

In any event, your assumption is wrong. Being dominant has zero correlation with understanding females (or males, or any other gender). Some dominants understand people, and some don't.

If you're going to make baseless assumptions like "all dominant people understand everybody else", you can probably understand that perhaps some of those dominant people made the assumption about you that "all submissive people want to be spoken down to in messages". Some do, and some don't. If YOU don't, don't reply.

Or, get angry, and make a thread about it, to add to the other 6000 threads on the exact same topic.



I hope this doesn't come across as my being rude, but this post is awesome. This saved me at least 4 hours of researching The Great Dom Guide trying to determine how I missed the chapter on Understanding Women.


You wouldn't have found it anyway, we wimmins tore that chapter out, bwahahahahahaha!!


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(in reply to SoulPiercer)
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RE: Handeling Rude Doms - 2/25/2010 6:02:21 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorenzo19
In real life people are overly polite, usually. In cyber space the real person tends to come out because they think no one is watching them or will hold them accountable.

Perhaps being on-line is more like walking through a city? When living in a village you know everybody and stop to talk to every one of them, but when walking through a city one cannot stop to talk to every stranger one meets: that would be impractical.

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RE: Handeling Rude Doms - 2/25/2010 7:35:19 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterJC69

I am new to this site but I do have a question that maybe some of the sub/slaves may be able to answer for me. I have written several who have left their profiles very vague and with little information.

I have been very polite and respectful in my approach in asking what age range they are looking for, what experience they have in the lifestyle and what it is they are seeking. I have not received a single reply from any of the emails and I know they have been read.

I find this in itself very rude to not take the time to reply to someone who has at least showed an interest and took a few minutes to ask a few questions worthy of an answer.

I myself do not believe in being rude or disrespectful to people and simply ask the same in return. I would greatly appreciate feedback from the folks here in the threads.

Thanks.


No response IS a response.  IN other words, they arent interested. 

Do you reply to every piece of spam mail that comes into your post box? (spam being defined as unsolicted mail).

Are you SURE the mails you've sent have been read, or could it be that the women you are sending mail to have their filters set in such a way that your cmails are going into their bulk mail folders?

blah, blah blah...



BTW, SP.. good to see you! *hugs*

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RE: Handeling Rude Doms - 2/25/2010 7:59:59 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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There is but one way to Handel a rude Dom.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Abcgpn2UTV8

Anything else would be anti-climactic.

Ron

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