quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

a synonym for doormat is a "welcome mat"

http://www.answers.com/topic/welcome-mat

A mat, especially one having the word welcome on it, placed in front of a door to welcome visitors and to allow visitors a place to wipe their feet before entering.

Warm hospitality accorded to a guest in order to provide a comfortable, welcoming atmosphere

I dunno..that seems pretty positive to me. I kinda like the idea of being of use to my visitors, knowing that I've been useful to them, convenient and they find me comfortable and welcoming. Hospitality is a wonderful thing imo.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
I think your having issues with it..that's why you post the out there scenarios.. You've kinda made my point for me with regards to this OP and those who seem to be going at the worst possible things that could happen.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

a synonym for doormat is a "welcome mat"

http://www.answers.com/topic/welcome-mat

A mat, especially one having the word welcome on it, placed in front of a door to welcome visitors and to allow visitors a place to wipe their feet before entering.

Warm hospitality accorded to a guest in order to provide a comfortable, welcoming atmosphere

I dunno..that seems pretty positive to me. I kinda like the idea of being of use to my visitors, knowing that I've been useful to them, convenient and they find me comfortable and welcoming. Hospitality is a wonderful thing imo.

that made me smile, and i think it needed repeating

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

a synonym for doormat is a "welcome mat"

http://www.answers.com/topic/welcome-mat

A mat, especially one having the word welcome on it, placed in front of a door to welcome visitors and to allow visitors a place to wipe their feet before entering.

Warm hospitality accorded to a guest in order to provide a comfortable, welcoming atmosphere

I dunno..that seems pretty positive to me. I kinda like the idea of being of use to my visitors, knowing that I've been useful to them, convenient and they find me comfortable and welcoming. Hospitality is a wonderful thing imo.

that made me smile, and i think it needed repeating

What about he ones that say , "Dude, Get off of my porch!" or "Come back with a warrant" That is not very hospitable.

You can get a doormat to say anything you like. They have no control over the matter. They simply are.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
Anyways, seriously how you described yourself is no where near being a doormat, at all. In regards to the use Slut, really does not carry a great degree of implications. Not like Doormat does. ... Please consider the full implications of Doormat, compare it to the full set of implications involved with Slut. It's really not the same. Words are Word but not words are the same.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
However, it needs to be logically applied instead of just some hot fancy term that makes people feel more submissive and tingles clits when used.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite
Objectification can be really hot, but I don't personally consider the term "doormat" to be objectifying. *shrugs*

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
I think your having issues with it..that's why you post the out there scenarios.. You've kinda made my point for me with regards to this OP and those who seem to be going at the worst possible things that could happen.

It's not a matter of worst possible out comes, it's the increased probability of worse out comes that's involved and their implications.(Redirecting and deflecting) In regards to the establishment of Doormat syndrome(Is it a sickness now?) or Doormat in regards to Mass Populas, to which we are are a segment of the very same society. A doormat, is one who is submissive to many and a list of other characteristics.(Not always a negative thing as some would have you believe) A doormat in this context can and does exist in the Vanilla sense and in the BDSM sense, For both will be one in the same.(It's much rarer of an occurence and gain doesn't automatically imply negativity)

Also to note, that a submissive being labeled a doormat, may cause the submissive alarm and to rethink her own level of submission. Where the label with it's inherent and apparent negative connonations will have the opposite effect upon submission. It may become a road block of sorts.(As you can plainly see that's not always the case and if it does happen then they simply don't fit that group)

Also there is the ramifications of how those not involved with BDSM percieve us. These are in fact the very same people which come to BDSM as newbies. Given the amount of people that come to this website or other BDSM sites, they are often challenged by the speration of fantasy from reality. Some people will assume the fantasy notions of Doormat are indeed correct, and will seek out doormats.(So under the guise of "We have to be careful what we preach because we may not get any converts" we are suppose to mainstream our beliefs a little?)

This tends to manifest itself already, in the types of emails from so called Male Dominants sending emails to women on the other side. Where the engage in "On your knees know bitch" and many other classic gems. Hence why some submissives have the established postings on their profiles. "Don't treat me like a doormat", "I'm not looking to be treated as a Doormat". There are people that simply don't get it.(I think the majority of this is again from one's own bias and or one's own preconcieved vanilla/media beliefs upon entering here. They will shortly learn from me they don't get to make the rules regarding my life..I've seen no less from the majority of people here when dealing with types like that.)

It would also explain why there are submissive profiles where somebody is in fantasy land of being "kept 24/7 in a cage and wish to have no contact with the outside world". Yet, here in the inner santum of knowledge on the message board, we mock and make fun of how much in fantasy land these very same people are.(Again they will find out on their own how realistic any one thing maybe for them)

There is room for many things to go wrong the more we embrace relativism without questioning what we are embracing on a point by point basis. Just because somebody has a certain view does not make it fully equal to other views or perspectives. Save the fact that it exists.(Who makes the determination..You? Me? the Mob? The moral majority? As long as it's consensual..I'm kay with it. Somewhere along the way we all agree..Consensual is across the board agreed upon? )

One could assert that being a slave to them means to them, that they literally must eat shit. While this applies to some slaves it does not apply to all slaves, yet alone the majority of slaves. Not all things are truely equal in nature, save the fact that the do exist, this says nothing in regards to what quanitity or emperical measurement.

In regards to emperical measurement, clearly the word doormat has negative connotations that out weigh the positives when a person is figurative compared to a doormat. Also, it's clear of the emperical measures of what objectification does in regards to the dimenishment of what a human being is. Otherwise it would not be called objectitication and the word would loose it's meaning.( The term itself may say to you objectification but it doesn't to me.(Orange also means a color).It only relates a persons willing attitude to go above and beyond..Many speak about being able to but not many can produce. this is of course based on my own perspective.)

Sigh....

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite
Objectification can be really hot, but I don't personally consider the term "doormat" to be objectifying. *shrugs*

Footstool, Hole in a matress, Third Wheel, Ball and Chain, Chain around the neck, Doormat.. are examples.

Mind you this form of objectification is done through personification.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite
Icarys, I have to agree that encouraging people to come up with terms they identify with is a good thing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite
Icarys, I have to agree that encouraging people to come up with terms they identify with is a good thing.

Self personification is generally a good thing, regardless of how true it is or not. However, the personification of others can be either favorable or none favorable depending upon the object they are being compared depending upon the literal to figurative translation, including either positives or negatives.

Many people have in fact, express some positive translations with the word doormat. However do the positives empherically outweight the negatives? Another thought provoking question.

As some people have expressed they would not use the doormat personification personally themselves, nor care to in their relationship.

If the empherical postives out measured the empherical negatives, the whole Doormat debate, or debates centered around the use of the word and it's meaning, would never happen to begin with. So the empherical value of the negatives clearly hold a strong empherical measurement/value.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

I wouldn't mind my Master calling me any of those things. I wouldn't mind at all acting as a footstool, or functioning as a doormat, or wiping his feet with my tears and my hair. If he chooses to call me a slut, or his slut, I won't complain about it, and I don't consider it to be a limit, but it does have negative connotations for me. So does "fuckmeat" for that matter. I'm not heavily into objectification, but it doesn't bother me, and can be hot in some situations. I've actually felt more objectified when I've had body art applied, or when my Master took pictures of me while we were involved than in any inanimate-object type of activities.

In a different thread, someone said that spitting on someone was more degrading than calling him stupid, but I'd rather be spat on. I wouldn't be hurt by being called stupid, unless it was related to a mistake I'd made that showed a lack of common sense. Again, it's not a term I feel is accurate, but it certainly isn't a limit for me, either. If someone outside of our relationship called me a doormat, or a footstool, or a slut, or stupid, I'd probably shrug it off and not feel strongly one way or the other.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

*shrug* I've seen several posts about tickling, and about 90% of people say that they don't want to be tickled, or have it as a hard limit, or will even get violent. I happen to *like* being tickled, whether or not it's mixed with BDSM. Other people, even the majority of people, disliking it doesn't affect me at all. If someone doesn't like a term, or a particular kink, they don't need to use or engage in it. I don't see how other people deciding that they *want* it will adversely affect them. Basically, it's none of their business.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

I wouldn't mind my Master calling me any of those things. I wouldn't mind at all acting as a footstool, or functioning as a doormat, or wiping his feet with my tears and my hair. If he chooses to call me a slut, or his slut, I won't complain about it, and I don't consider it to be a limit, but it does have negative connotations for me. So does "fuckmeat" for that matter. I'm not heavily into objectification, but it doesn't bother me, and can be hot in some situations. I've actually felt more objectified when I've had body art applied, or when my Master took pictures of me while we were involved than in any inanimate-object type of activities.

In a different thread, someone said that spitting on someone was more degrading than calling him stupid, but I'd rather be spat on. I wouldn't be hurt by being called stupid, unless it was related to a mistake I'd made that showed a lack of common sense. Again, it's not a term I feel is accurate, but it certainly isn't a limit for me, either. If someone outside of our relationship called me a doormat, or a footstool, or a slut, or stupid, I'd probably shrug it off and not feel strongly one way or the other.

What about if somebody literally treated you stupid because they believed you were stupid? What if somebody literally treated you like a slut because they thought you were a slut? What if somebody literally treated you like a doormat because they thought you were a doormat? All because you were indentified as being such.

What if somebody rapes somebody because they had the wrong perception that the person was both a doormat and slut, in part because of self personification of being a doormat, or other people that labeled you a Doormat through personification. Mind you this is in combination with the label slut which you do not refute, but have perhaps openly admitted to having as a label. Do you see in part where the potential probability for worse case things to go wrong has increased? Just saying here.