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RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 11:01:07 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		i have no stated limits to my Master but he does know my mind intimately and knows what i can handle and what i can not.  Things i thought i would and could never, ever do....and things even he thought he had no interest in ever doing.....have been done.  He is always pushing, always challenging, and i am always working to continue to expand my mind and what i can handle.  Such things are introduced to me with appropriate thought and consideration, when he can predict my reaction with much confidence.

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/30/2006 2:56:40 AM   
dave1212


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/2/2006
From: Lancashire UK
Status: offline 		Being quite new to the scene i did have quite a few what i would have called hard limits ! Although i must admit mainly due to ignorance on my part  
Most of them have long since gone but i am no longer ignorant and there are only two which will remain hard limit's for me

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(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/30/2006 3:06:01 AM   
MsAlexaandJack


Posts: 11
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		A hard limit is a hard limit and its not to be pushed. I have mine and they won't be pushed, my sub has the same limits so we are on the same sheet of paper. As a dominant I would never think of trying to push a person past their hard limit, I think that can effect the trust factor.

~MsAlexa

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/30/2006 3:46:56 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

How Hard are your limits? Would you ever consider being taken past them, as long as you didn't find them ethically wrong



My hard limits are set in stone, for moral reasons.
During my search for owners i was careful to only open conversation with people whose hard limits were the same.
When i 1st started in this lifestyle i had a few other items listed as a hard limit (not for moral reasons), and quite a few soft ones also.
With the exception of the limits i have held due to moral reasons, all the others i held were pushed past.
A couple of them i was eventually trained to handle if not with joy, then reasonable grace.
Then there were those thresholds crossed that sent my mind reeling, leaving me in a dazed puddle, going WOW, why the hell did i think i was not into that.
I came to realize as i grew that i could not say " limit" hard or soft (afore mentioned moral limits excluded) until i at least tried something once.

I am pleased to say after all these years this wild wonderful life we lead still throws fresh experiences at me.
Case in point- my Mistress, i have always been bi, yet never have been collared by, nor served another female. So coming to meet my Master knowing he was married to another who was Domme, who i was expected to submit to (they are a dom/domme couple) was an unknown for me. 
Here i am totally amazed by her.(note: Mistress definitely falls into the WOW category.) 



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Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

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(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/30/2006 4:09:13 AM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		My limits are as hard as Master says they are, I've put my trust in him. If I didnt have a Master, although Im very adventurous and like to play somewhat hard, my hard limits would be a mile long *grin* and no, I wouldnt just let anyone take me past them.

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Different Strokes for Different Folks

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(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/30/2006 6:29:49 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Since they removed LA's little crack shot at me,and my response, I am just going to go ahead and answer her again. LA, obviously you feel the need to discuss ILLEGAL activities with your partners as limits; however, I don't. Illegal activities would never even be considered as something that would be part of play, therefore, I see no need to list them as a limit that can not be breached. Personally, if the need to ever discuss such things arises, I would know that the person who brought them up was not the one for me, and not someone whom I would even want to associate with, much less begin  a relationship.

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/30/2006 6:36:15 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Since they removed LA's little crack shot at me,and my response, I am just going to go ahead and answer her again. LA, obviously you feel the need to discuss ILLEGAL activities with your partners as limits; however, I don't. Illegal activities would never even be considered as something that would be part of play, therefore, I see no need to list them as a limit that can not be breached. Personally, if the need to ever discuss such things arises, I would know that the person who brought them up was not the one for me, and not someone whom I would even want to associate with, much less begin  a relationship.

Considering a lot of bdsm and sexual activities ARE illegal in most places in the US, I'm not sure you're being logical.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/30/2006 7:19:29 AM   
sultryvoice


Posts: 368
Joined: 3/31/2004
Status: offline 		I have a few limits. To me they are only limits..I don't believe in hard or soft limits. They are just limits and one can tell where I will and won't go if they get to know me. From when I started out, they have realy changed. But there are stil a few that are just not right, in my eyes. But, they might be fine in anothers!

Respectfully,
sultry

_____________________________

Blessed are the cracked,
For it is they who let in the light.


www.themarkbycpi.com

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/30/2006 7:48:28 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

Then there were those thresholds crossed that sent my mind reeling, leaving me in a dazed puddle, going WOW, why the hell did i think i was not into that.



i've run into that as well.  i think it is safe to say, there are things i would never have fathomed doing, until i grew with him.  Remove him from the equation, and it is not likely i would do them with anyone else any time soon.   It is him - his power - which drives me to do what he wants, no matter how difficult.

i was in a position last year to be faced with a strong moral dilemma as a result of a decision he needed to make.  As it turned out, the situation did not come to pass which would require such a decision.  But before things were resolved, i realized i would follow his rule, regardless.  It was a deep and interesting exercise, if nothing else.

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/30/2006 8:14:48 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Since they removed LA's little crack shot at me,and my response, I am just going to go ahead and answer her again. LA, obviously you feel the need to discuss ILLEGAL activities with your partners as limits; however, I don't. Illegal activities would never even be considered as something that would be part of play, therefore, I see no need to list them as a limit that can not be breached. Personally, if the need to ever discuss such things arises, I would know that the person who brought them up was not the one for me, and not someone whom I would even want to associate with, much less begin  a relationship.

Considering a lot of bdsm and sexual activities ARE illegal in most places in the US, I'm not sure you're being logical.


On the contrary, I am being extremely logical. Simply because YOU see something as HAVING to be discussed, does not mean that I do. What you referred to, would never come up in a discussion that I would be having with a potential partner. That may be something that you think comes up in every discussion, but, not in mine, so therefore, it is not considered. Nothing illogical about it at all, just simply common sense. ( of course, this only applies to me and how I approach relationships, that is not to say that others would not feel differently )

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/30/2006 8:23:55 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
On the contrary, I am being extremely logical. Simply because YOU see something as HAVING to be discussed, does not mean that I do. What you referred to, would never come up in a discussion that I would be having with a potential partner. That may be something that you think comes up in every discussion, but, not in mine, so therefore, it is not considered. Nothing illogical about it at all, just simply common sense. ( of course, this only applies to me and how I approach relationships, that is not to say that others would not feel differently )

Your initial post spoke only to liking having your limits pushed.  You didn't qualify with any sort of TYPE of limit.

And it's illogical to say you don't discuss doing illegal things when you DO a lot of illegal things with bdsm.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/30/2006 9:16:33 AM   
Slipstreme


Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Personally, I perfer to be pushed past limits just to see how far I actually can go.

/shrug

but that's just me



Sounds like me. I will try to go as far as I can possibly go.

I've a few limits that can not be broken: scat, severe body modification. I don't fancy dieing much either and I don't do illegal.

I don't know much about emotional/ moral/ ethical limits. They just haven't come up, and I'm too Dominant to put myself in a place where they would be an issue for me. Most of my limits are physical, simply because I do love the pain, and must keep an eye out for my personal safety.

I thought needles would be a hard limit, but heck, I'll be off to get my first tattoo soon, and I know I've got friends I know who are just that evil to want to play with my fears when I go to see them. And yes, they have it coming right back at them too.

< Message edited by Slipstreme -- 3/30/2006 9:20:49 AM >

_____________________________

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For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/30/2006 9:43:31 AM   
KittenWithaTwist


Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		I have very few hard limits with my primary partner. I can't even think of any off the top of my head that he or I feel barred from engaging in. Anyway, your question as to can you pass up a hard limit that isn't an ethical barrier? Yes. Is it a wise move? That depends on how capable you are of empathy, understanding, wisdom, and respect. Are you pushing the limit for your own gain? Are you pushing the limit to help your sub/bottom through a difficult experience? Are you searching for enlightenment or release?



_____________________________

"Time travel: It's a cornocopia of disturbing concepts." ~Ron Stoppable

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/30/2006 9:48:25 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KittenWithaTwist

I have very few hard limits with my primary partner. I can't even think of any off the top of my head that he or I feel barred from engaging in. Anyway, your question as to can you pass up a hard limit that isn't an ethical barrier? Yes. Is it a wise move? That depends on how capable you are of empathy, understanding, wisdom, and respect. Are you pushing the limit for your own gain? Are you pushing the limit to help your sub/bottom through a difficult experience? Are you searching for enlightenment or release?




I think these are great questions to ask.



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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/30/2006 9:58:25 AM   
KittenWithaTwist


Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:


quote:

ORIGINAL: KittenWithaTwist

I have very few hard limits with my primary partner. I can't even think of any off the top of my head that he or I feel barred from engaging in. Anyway, your question as to can you pass up a hard limit that isn't an ethical barrier? Yes. Is it a wise move? That depends on how capable you are of empathy, understanding, wisdom, and respect. Are you pushing the limit for your own gain? Are you pushing the limit to help your sub/bottom through a difficult experience? Are you searching for enlightenment or release?





I think these are great questions to ask.


Thanks! I actually don't really know what part of my brain I pulled this from. I was reading over the posts of many other people and found so many saying their hard limits are hard. I thought that way too, once. But, I think, if you spend enough time with an empathic and respectful partner, you may find that, for the right reasons, you are willing to soften your barriers a bit.

Again, this is just a possibility, depending on what you are like, what your partner is like, the bond you've created, and the reasons behind those barriers.

I've often run into people who feel they need to push the limits of their sub/bottom because "those limits need to be pushed". What kind of an answer is that anyway?

_____________________________

"Time travel: It's a cornocopia of disturbing concepts." ~Ron Stoppable

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/30/2006 10:03:36 AM   
peasantsub


Posts: 15
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline 		well spoken KittenWitha Twist, my sentiments exactly

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/30/2006 10:15:53 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL

quote:

[My hard limts are HARD.  I only have 4 but they are staying right where they are until long after Hell freezes over and jessy is queen of the universe.

_____________________________

-Tress /quote]
 
 
...as intriguing as I have found You over the past few weeks of reading Your posts, I would probably be scared of what Your hard limits might be...especially after your 'nailing' post...
Speaking of, wish I was down there, would be intrigued to observe...from a far distance.
C




*clears her throat and says in her most soothing come hither voice...

CERCKL, dear, come here and have a cookie..I'm not scary at all, dear, and pay no attention to the woman behind the curtain...

< Message edited by yourMissTress -- 3/30/2006 10:17:12 AM >

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/30/2006 10:31:03 AM   
michaelGA


Posts: 1194
Status: offline 		in a nutshell, my hard limits are non-negotiable and are not to even be thought of as a testing area. not in this or any lifetime.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/30/2006 10:42:27 AM   
justatoy2


Posts: 163
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		i just wanted to add that as i have changed and grown over the years so have my hard limits. When i first began many years ago i had many hard limits. Ones i thought i could never ever cross. As i have changed, and grown more adventerous so did my limits change. I will give an example. There was a period of time that i said no to anal anything. Nope wasn't gonna happen ever ever ever. I met a wonderful Dom who showed me in a very caring way how wonderful anal pleasures can be. Do i think he is a horrible person because he pushed that paticular limit..no i don't. We all have fears we need to overcome. Sometimes i think we use the word "limits" to mean something i am afraid of. Ok just my 2.5 cents.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/30/2006 10:45:50 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL
How Hard are your limits? Would you ever consider being taken past them, as long as you didn't find them ethically wrong (no, I'm not speaking of other's 'ethics' here...)?

See, I can be serious at times...
C


the terms and conditions of what this slave will do, when and with who are decided solely by Master, therefore this slave "has" only the limits that Master has for her.
on the other hand, if this slave was His submissive, NOT His slave, then she would "have" her very own personal set of limits that she would expect Him to respect, as negotiated and agreed upon at the beginning of our Dom/sub relationship(and re-negotiated should either party feel it necessary), especially if they were prefaced with the word Hard, suggestive of NON-flexibility.

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 40
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