LafayetteLady
Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
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quote:
ORIGINAL: domiguy
quote:
ORIGINAL: heartcream
Well beth this is a case of a horrible thing turning round right I would say.
This thread is not about finding your biological parents but about learning about your authentic past. I can always find out who the biological parents are without contacting them.
The two have nothing to do with each other.
domi, I dont' know whether you were adopted or not, and yes it is about finding your "authentic" past. Not many though could "find" them and not contact them.
However, after reading some of the comments on this thread, it brings up an interesting potential twist. Over the course of time, countless numbers of children have been adopted. Many years ago, there weren't "original" birth certificates and then "newly issued" birth certificates. I was adopted immediately after birth. I have ONE birth certificate, there isn't some other one with other names. Centuries ago, those formal records didn't even exist. So really while some might find it fascinating to search out their ancestors to find out about their "bloodline," the possibility of there having been some "adopted" family members does exist, and because of early record keeping, that fact may not be available. So this "bloodline" that is being searched has no real guarantee of actual DNA being linked.
heartcream,
Adoption is a very complicated issue and many people have different opinions about it. It is absolutely impossible though to really have any idea about it unless you are an adopted child or gave a child up for adoption. If you don't fall into either of those categories, all you have is thoughts and opinions that really don't mean anything because you can't put yourself in those position and really can't conceive of how it is, no matter how hard you try.
I don't mean this in a snarky or rude manner, I really don't. But you seem to be very mis informed about adoption as a hole. The majority of children who are adopted are placed in truly loving homes. If I had to guess, I would say that far less than 1% of all adoptions is there ever a situation where the child suffered horrible atrocities. Does that mean that none of them are placed in dysfunctional homes? Of course not, but that is because EVERY family is dysfunctional on some level. But from your posts, you seem to feel that I "lucked out" having great parents. There are some very serious investigations that occur with reputable agencies. As most people are aware, the waiting list for adoptive parents is many years long, which is why so many are adopting outside the USA.
The case that beth spoke of was a case where the history was known by the adoptive parents. Today that is more often the case, but years ago it wasn't. Parents received some basic information, but certainly not reasons for the decisions. Today, many adoptions are "open" and that term has many meanings from the biological parents having a place in the child's life, to the biologicals choosing the adoptive parents, or simply providing all information about the family history.
One of the reasons that many parents don't tell their children they are adopted is because sadly, there can still be a stigma attached to it, for both the child and the adoptive parents. People are ignorant and they say things that they shouldn't. When society and the media constantly refer to biologicals as being "real," it is an insult to the really real parents who did the job of being a parent. When they talk about the importance of finding the biologicals, that is one of the things that will cause an adoptee to think that there is some missing "link" in their life.
Do I have traits that aren't attributable to either of my parents? Sure. But I also have a lot of traits that are directly attributable to my parents. As some others have mentioned at the idea of searching their ancestory, I am me. I could find out I was descended from Cleopatra or Jesus Christ and tomorrow when I wake up, I will still be me, I will still have the same problems and issues. If I were to search my family tree, I would be searching the ancestory of my parents, the people who raised me, who loved me and who helped me become who I am today. The biological people who created me? That's nothing but DNA and useful for organ transplants.
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