hopelesslyInvo
Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
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some women seem more off-putting than others, but being a woman alone is enough to make talking to them hard for me.
the more i like someone, the harder it is to talk to them; the less interest i have, the easier it is to become comfortable.
that often backfires completely from the one's i'm not interested in thinking "i'm confident and flirting with them" or some such. where the one's that choke me up and seem impossible to talk to generally think i have no interest or find something wrong with them because i won't talk to or look at them without shying away if they glance at me.
being dominant or submissive doesn't change a lot for me personally, they're both hard for me to talk to, it's just that the reasons are different. the primary reason with a dominant woman is my unwavering ability for my mind to badger and convince me of things like "hey, she's 'dominant'... if she wanted to talk to you she would have already", with a submissive or most any other woman it's more along the lines of "why on earth would she want you to talk to her".
the only time my shyness or second guessing doesn't have any limits is when i see someone is hurt, sad, or could just use a bit of help. i don't think i'd chalk that one up to the idea of "the macho hero saving the damsel in distress" cliche it would generally sound like, it just bothers me bad enough i stop caring. i'm actually a bit sympathetic to men like this too, where normally i wouldn't exchange so much as a hello with them, though women definitely tug on my strings a little harder.
what sucks for them is that they have to beat me away with a stick in this circumstance, where normally you'd have to put a gun to my head to get me to approach them. don't need my help? fine. but i'm coming back 5 minutes later with the means to help anyway.
if i ever thought they believed i was only asking if they needed help was because i smelled vulnerability and was trying to pick them up, i'd probably be so mortified i couldn't hope of talking to them ever again.
anyway you're a woman, and when you're attractive to us, that just happens to make some of "us" stutter if we try to force ourselves to talk.
i'd say you seem a lot less off putting because you're nice, it's the high and mighty one's that i feel look down on me that seem the most impossible to talk to.
"inaccessible" however, means you're lesbian or already have someone. a lot of guys mention things like "she's inaccessible, don't you see that ring", and the truth is i never do, let alone do i ever remember which hand means what. i tried one time and i ended up just thinking everyone with a ring not made out of neon plastic was married. i do the same stuff in other ways though... if a guy hugs a girl i like, even if it's her brother (not that i'd know), i immediately give up from the assumption that it's her significant other.
at the very least, i'd say it's likely more to do with our perception than your portrayal.
< Message edited by hopelesslyInvo -- 3/15/2010 4:37:12 AM >
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