lovingpet
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quote:
ORIGINAL: wisdomtogive
quote:
ORIGINAL: lovingpet
Rebellion is a marker that tells us to evaluate ourselves, our relationship, and each other carefully because there is a problem. It is not always a bad thing or something that will ruin the relationship, but it is a sign that there is some kind of change going on. Usually it is, as other posters have said, as shift inside of me. Sometimes it is a twist in the dynamic. On occasion it has been my partner that has had things going on that have lead to some sort of confusion or lack of ease on my part.
To me, it is not the rebellion itself that must be punished. It is possible, however, for the consequences of that rebellion to need punishment. Whether it is closure for the emotional fallout for either partner or because there has been actual damage done to the relationship, it becomes important for there to be an reckoning in some cases. I don't think that rebellion necessarily warrants punishment, but I think it can help in the overall process of rebellion and reconciliation.
lovingpet
Thank you lovingpet for replying
I would like to ask your view on the following please. To correct the rebellious act, would it be as productive or maybe more to use other methods? One example I could present is to give more structure if the s-type needs it to function better, or to give more space time, if they need that. My way of thinking in some instances of rebellion, the s-type might just need help to understand what is going on within them, instead of a direct punishment for the action. My reasoning behind this is, if the rebellion isn't a product of testing the Dom. but something else, then maybe the s-type needs more directional control verses the punishment route. I hope I explained that well.
I think these are two different things. To me, what you are describing is part of correcting a problem. If the submissive is stifled to death and it gets her panicky and, therefore fighting the dominant, then the dominant may want to lighten a bit and slow down the pace. If the submissive is having trouble keeping to standards in a certain area, more attention and control might be needed for a time to achieve the goal. Those things are not punishment really. They are just making adjustments in the relationship dynamic as may be necessary upon that examination I talked about.
Punishment could take several different forms, but in all it is about things like guilt, absolution, closure, and even dealing with frustration. It is meant to both deter future poor choices and instill positive ones. It is also important to remember that punishment should help both parties in moving on and doing better. For one indescretion awhile back I received two punishments. One was that I had to write down everything I ate and drank, how much exercise I did, when and how much sleep I got, when and how much of my meds I took, and three measures of my "energy" throughout the day. I had to turn this in to him for about a month. This was to help me to see when I wasn't taking good care of myself. When I saw him, he choked me until I nearly passed out telling me that that's how it was going to feel if I got that sick again and wound up with a collapsed lung. He let go snuggled me up and we moved on. He vented his frustration and voiced his concern and also received the information he needed to guide me better in that area of my life. I got the eye opener of how little I was eat and how often I was neglecting my medications and also that I always pushed myself too hard. It has changed the way I conduct myself. I would call this effective punishment. This wasn't a rebellion thing so much as a lack of awareness, but it still applies.
When I said punishment may deal with consequences more than the rebellion itself, I mean that the submissive may need to be held accountable for damaging the dominant's trust and/or getting either of them in some kind of harm (legal maybe or illness/injury due to the actions that occurred). It may also be that the submissive has created a communication gap too. There is a lot of fallout from a rebellion. The actions may make sense once the problem is clear and it is resolved, but these consequences remain and can't be undone so easily sometimes. It is like the lecture on lying that some got as kids. "You lied to me. What is worse it that now I can't trust you anymore. We got to the truth, but my trust is going to be a lot harder to fix." Punishment can be a first step along this path.
I hope this response makes sense. I have been a little too busy all day long and am ready for bed when the time comes. 
lovingpet
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If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me
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RE: Does rebellion warrant punishment? - 
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