RE: The word 'no'

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: The word 'no'

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: The word 'no'

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: The word 'no' - 3/19/2010 7:24:03 PM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

the word 'no' doesnt exist in this life style

You're a sub, not a slave

(in reply to lostdippysub)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: The word 'no' - 3/19/2010 9:39:15 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

I say no all of the time to him, but it's like this....nooooooooooooooo.
Which really means yes. More more more.

I truly said no to him only once and it was nearly the end to us.
It was due to a huge miscommunication on our parts.
The word no, said seriously, is the end or our relationship.

_____________________________

The Red

(in reply to lostdippysub)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: The word 'no' - 3/20/2010 5:30:36 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

The word no, said seriously, is the end or our relationship.

That's how it is here also, she gave up that right when she submitted to Me. If she ever wants to take up that right again it is only going to happen by her removing that submission... at which point the relationship is ended, the girl has left the Dynamic, this household and My life. she has ample opportunity to express her opinion but the decision is Mine alone.

However, as said, she knew that was the case before she submitted, she knew what it was she was submitting too. Before she submitted I made no DEMANDS, I simply expressed what I expected to happen if things where to progress but until she submitted I had no authority to force her into anything, she had every right (then) to say "no"

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: The word 'no' - 3/20/2010 6:28:55 AM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

~ Fast Re-run ~

Wow - A submissive or slave with permission to say 'no'! I'm stunned.

Beside the 3rd person speech restriction beth isn't even allowed to use words where the letters 'n' and 'o' appear together. The downside, of course, is that she can't refer to me as being "all kNOwing - kNOw it all!". Not only appropriate, but in addition the way I want it and like it.

Another word it prevents beth from using is igNOrant. she can't say to me; "You are an igNOrant bastard!"

In fact it takes so much pre-thinking that by the time she figures out how to form the sentence we've moved on to aNOther subject. But then she can't suggest aNOther. Over the years she come NOt to even bother.

Granted, language usage was was more difficult to train than say body language and common gesture. The avoidance of shaking her head side to side indicating the prohibited 'NO' was much more fun; I enjoyed the training sessions involving her head bobbing up and down all the time. I require regular ongoing training sessions, just to make sure she kNOws what's required.

LOL, so the proper response to "Are you going to do that again?" would be????

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: The word 'no' - 3/20/2010 6:33:16 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

If the response is supposed to be something like "No, I won't do that again", the proper phrasing in beth's case would be, "this slave will avoid doing such a thing in the future, Sir. Thank you for your guidance".

_____________________________

4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions.

Ask a Mistress Forum FAQ
Profile Help

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: The word 'no' - 3/20/2010 8:15:11 AM

Miyani

Posts: 248
Joined: 12/4/2007
Status: offline

Here's my take on it. The word "no," in certain contexts, ends the discussion. It would be more accurate, I think, to say that in many of the dynamics mentioned, outright REFUSAL is forbidden. I haven't personally come across any dynamics where a slave will be punished for saying no as an answer to "Did you mess up today?" What they will be punished for, and what my boy will be punished for, is refusing an order without giving a reason.

"I'd prefer not to, my knees hurt today." "I don't think I can, the thought of being gagged makes me want to cry." Both of those signify reluctance, but they allow the conversation to continue, and a compromise to be reached (or, they allow me to go ahead and order what I want anyway, but make me aware of potential repercussions). So, they're both acceptable. "No." What do I do with no? There isn't any way for me to know whether he's refusing because he doesn't feel like it (bad idea), because there's something physical going on (we'll work around it or do it later), or because he's terrified due to some childhood trauma (oh honey, come here and let me kiss it better).

So sure, he gets "no." He'd sure as hell better use "no" when I ask him if he was playing WoW all day. But he does not have the right to simply end a discussion of an order with a refusal, which I believe is the spirit in which "you can't say no" is meant.

Edited because, seriously, I can't type right now.

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: The word 'no' - 3/20/2010 8:52:42 AM

theshadowdragon

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/21/2007
Status: offline

Of course subs and slaves can use 'no.' Sometimes a Dominant and a submissive who are in a Master/slave dynamic will restrict when 'no' can be used, but even those in a relationship where using 'no' means the end of their dynamic together, the ability to use 'no' is still present, it just carries a certain finality when applied. As I've heard it bantered about before, a slave can always 'vote with their feet.'

If the person telling you that you are not permitted to say 'no' is some twerp you met 5 minutes ago and is demanding you do things you're uncomfortable with, voting with your feet would not only be viable, it would be prudent; their personality and behavior isn't going to improve any with further interaction.

(in reply to Miyani)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: The word 'no' - 3/20/2010 10:27:16 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

"No Sir, your shoes aren't under the bed. I know because I tripped over them in the living room... ".

Did the mail come yet?
No.
Did the car repairs cost more than $200?
No.
Did I tell you about the time I...............
No.
Did my (mother, brother, best friend) call?
No.
Is this next Sunday Easter?
No.

Truly, we are not lifestyle enough....

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to catize)

Profile

Post #: 48