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Free Advice - 3/19/2010 5:56:53 AM   
FelineFae


Posts: 7756
Joined: 1/23/2009
From: i do wander everywhere...
Status: offline 		Another thread got me thinking...

What advice could you give someone with an interest of BDSM that others might not think to include ?

Maybe you are holding a great pearl of wisdom that you just haven't the right oppertunity to share ?

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FelineFae
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Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Free Advice - 3/19/2010 6:49:55 AM   
PrimalConsonance


Posts: 463
Joined: 7/11/2009
From: Southern New Jersey
Status: offline 		I'm not really sure what others may say to those interested in BDSM, but outside the obvious, I would say it is addictive because of the rewarding effects that BDSM offers...after serving, a good spanking or long session, or that build up to some form of release be it a wonderful orgasm, or the head-space experience (Dom- or sub-space) with that euphoric feeling and contentment.  All very Freudian... 

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AKA: CNJDom (types in black) and roselaure (types in Red)


Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss


(in reply to FelineFae)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Free Advice - 3/19/2010 7:34:52 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		I would say, beware of falling in love with the first Dom/mme or sub that you meet. He/She may seem awesome when you have no comparisons but comparisons are often needed to successfully succeed in these sort of relationships.

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S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

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RE: Free Advice - 3/19/2010 7:35:57 AM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		Never look at someone through rose colored glasses-it's an act of stupid masochism.


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I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

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Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Free Advice - 3/19/2010 8:15:51 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline 		i've been in the scene for a long time, and the one observation that i've made is that the BDSM scene is littered with mentally and/or emotionally stunted individuals.  So my advice would be to beware of fake subs and Doms/Dommes.

i'm not talking about the scammers.  What i'm talking about are the loser guys who couldn't get a girlfriend in high school, and so they become a "Dom" and think that they've punched their ticket to the "free pussy buffet".  There is nothing dominant about them other than their self-proclaimed title.

Likewise, their are lots of Dommes who fall into the same category.  They are unattractive or extremely overweight, and have difficulty attracting vanilla men, so they become Dommes in order to have "dick-on-demand".  IMO, if you are shy, have low self-esteem, and struggle to attract a vanilla guy, you really don't qualify to be called dominant.

And lastly, there are many subs/slaves who are emotionally damaged, and are easy prey for unscrupulous Doms/Dommes who would take advantage of them.

Don't get me wrong.  There are lots of great people in the scene.  But i think we can all admit that we've run into the types of people that i just described.  Sadly, every local BDSM group seems to have them.


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"The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes, they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers".
-Robert Kirkman, The Walking Dead

(in reply to FelineFae)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Free Advice - 3/19/2010 8:18:30 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		A relationship is a relationship is a relationship. If you don't respect each other the d/s won't cover for that. If you don't care about each other, the d/s won't suddenly solve that. If you aren't compatible in many areas, the d/s still won't magically make it so. Like every other successful relationship, it is composed of two people both of whom need to be happy in order for it to succeed.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Free Advice - 3/19/2010 8:40:37 AM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline 		Like anything else, take your time and use a lot of common sense and don't rush into anything until you are fully ready. Think with the head on your shoulders and not with your crotch.

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Free Advice - 3/19/2010 8:44:37 AM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		Don't take it all so seriously. It's much less dramatic than you may think.

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"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to FelineFae)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Free Advice - 3/19/2010 9:29:43 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5173
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		People who are into BDSM are not more honest, happier, more loving, more caring, deeper, have stronger relationships, more trustworthy, faster, stronger, or more of anything than any other group of people.  There are BDSM people who will give you the shirt off their backs as well as those who would steal that  shirt off you back.  

(in reply to FelineFae)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Free Advice - 3/19/2010 9:34:31 AM   
bliss4us09


Posts: 106
Joined: 3/31/2009
Status: offline 		I would advise them to think about whether or not their interest is only sexual. If it is, they probably do better to pay someone to be used or to use them. If it isn't, this may be a scene for them

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Free Advice - 3/19/2010 9:44:25 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		None of this is really that difficult.  You don't have to analyze it to death or make it more complicated than it has to be.  It can all be so simple if you are happy and enjoying it.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Free Advice - 3/19/2010 9:59:04 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

What advice could you give someone with an interest of BDSM that others might not think to include ?


Don't take any advice from people who don't know you as well as you know yourself.

If you didn't follow that advice and are still reading...

If you and your partner are not having FUN together - try another "interest".

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 3/19/2010 10:24:41 AM >

(in reply to FelineFae)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Free Advice - 3/19/2010 10:14:17 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		If person A tells you that person B is evil and dangerous and a terrible terrible person, and person B then tells you exactly the same thing about person A, person A is not necessarily right by virtue of having told you first.

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Sthetic on FetLife.




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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Free Advice - 3/19/2010 11:36:27 AM   
AQuietSimpleMan


Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline 		Advice -

If it doesn't happen naturally and on it's own you should really ask yourself if either of you are doing the right thing.

If you aren't doing this because you enjoy doing it then why are you doing it?

At the end of the day if you can't look at your partner and know without a doubt that they respect you then you are probably with the wrong person.

QSM

_____________________________

Guy Stud =Vs= Girl Slut ~~ Debate ENDED!

"If a Key opens many locks, then it is a Master Key, If a Lock is opened by lots of keys, then it is a Shitty Lock"

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Free Advice - 3/19/2010 11:38:58 AM   
ModeratorSixteen


Posts: 1275
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FelineFae

Another thread got me thinking...

What advice could you give someone with an interest of BDSM that others might not think to include ?

Maybe you are holding a great pearl of wisdom that you just haven't the right oppertunity to share ?


If you join an online BDSM forum,read the TOS and post accordingly?

_____________________________

Freedom of expression and personal opinion is a positive input.

(in reply to FelineFae)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Free Advice - 3/19/2010 11:45:36 AM   
Marc2b


Posts: 6660
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline 		Self knowledge and self discovery are all well and good but don't over analyze yourself.  Why you enjoy a particulary activity doesn't have to have a reason - feelings don't have to make sense.  Just enjoy what you enjoy and fuck the rest.

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Do you know what the most awesome thing about being an Atheist is? You're not required to hate anybody!

(in reply to FelineFae)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Free Advice - 3/19/2010 12:38:02 PM   
wisdomtogive


Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline 		Good question Fae:)

My advice is don't throw your common sense out of the door for any of this. I see this a lot with new submissives and how they believe they cannot say no to a Dom. after knowing them for 10 days or so.

_____________________________

Happily owned by MstrDark1

(in reply to FelineFae)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Free Advice - 3/19/2010 12:40:18 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		"Listen to the Anteater"

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"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to FelineFae)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Free Advice - 3/19/2010 12:43:27 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		but but, the anteater had his mouth full.....................of aunts. sounded all muffled.



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It hurts.....that you call me a masochist


(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Free Advice - 3/19/2010 12:45:34 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

"Listen to the Anteater"


...and then run like your ass was on fire!!

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 20
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