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How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 3/20/2010 10:26:59 AM

CaffeineOverRide

Posts: 22
Status: offline

To be dominated, by you.
I know he has it in him, and I'm interrested, but am not interrested in anyone else.
Curious about how I should go about mentioning it, how he may react, if there is anything I should take into consideration.
Thank you

Edit:
I am the Master, he is my Slave.
I would like him to dominate me every once in awhile.

< Message edited by CaffeineOverRide -- 3/20/2010 10:58:33 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 3/20/2010 10:33:50 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

It would depend on exactly what you mean by dominate him.

Valyraen is my owner. He's also the man I love, my husband and my best friend of over four years. If he decides he wants me to top once in while on a blue moon, I'd probably do it and view it as another service to him. If he wanted it more than that, I'd probably have to encourage him to find a play partner or a poly partner who could fill that desire for him.

If he wanted me to suddenly switch roles and be the dominant in our relationship... I just don't think I could do that.

Now... I'm curious about your wording. You say you "know he has it in him" but you don't know how to mention it. If he, your master, hasn't brought up a desire for you to dominate, why do you think he wants that? If I were you, I probably wouldn't ever bring it up. I'd leave it up to him to tell me what he wants.

My two cents.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 3/20/2010 10:36:53 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to CaffeineOverRide)

Post #: 2

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 3/20/2010 10:34:26 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Does he want you to dominate him or simply to top him? There's a difference. If he wants endorphin play and he's telling you "use the flogger on my upper back. Over to the right, that's the spot, right there. Okay now go over the whole back" then you're submitting by doing what you're told. That's no difference then him wanting you to rub his back except for wanting a heavier massage then you can do by hand.

And are you sure he's interested or are you the one who wants to do this? Talk to him. Ask him if he would like to be the receiver instead of the doer next time. Tell him of your curiosity, assuming you want to do this. Don't be manipulative, be honest.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to CaffeineOverRide)

Post #: 3

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 3/20/2010 10:35:23 AM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

Sorry but I'm confused. It sounds to me like you are the one who wants to dominate your Dom, not the other way around. Please clarify.

zeph

_____________________________

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The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
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(in reply to CaffeineOverRide)

Post #: 4

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 3/20/2010 10:46:55 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

You're listed as a switch, so it's a bit confusing. Are you talking about yourself as the master, and your boy as the one who "has it in him"... meaning has it in him to dominate/top/whatever you? And you want to know how to tell him that you want him to dom/top/whatever you?

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 5

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 3/20/2010 10:50:29 AM

DWCskitten

Posts: 199
Joined: 3/2/2010
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~
If your Master is not a switch, why would He want that? me, i would feel weird.

~kitten~

_____________________________

formerly sweetsub1957.

New beginnings...my first poly relationship.

Proudly Owned property of MasterDWC.

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 6

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 3/20/2010 11:41:04 AM

CaffeineOverRide

Posts: 22
Status: offline

OK, I was just corrected on my wording, apologies.
I do not want to be dominated, I just want him to act as top..... I'm seeking advice on how to bring this up and how to go about it.
Thank you CalifChick

(in reply to DWCskitten)

Post #: 7

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 3/20/2010 12:33:15 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaffeineOverRide

OK, I was just corrected on my wording, apologies.
I do not want to be dominated, I just want him to act as top..... I'm seeking advice on how to bring this up and how to go about it.
Thank you CalifChick

I'd bring it up just during a conversation about scening. I don't know about others but Val and I "talk shop" as a ordinary thing. We'll discuss if we want to buy a new toy, admire a whip in a shop or such. Something simple like "You know... lately I've been wanting to experience the receiving side of one of those" would probably break the ice and give you an idea of what their reaction will be. Just be honest about what you want. I would put the option of playing with others out there if he is uncomfortable with doing it. Even those who are comfortable with both sides of the leash are not always comfortable topping the one who controls them.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to CaffeineOverRide)

Post #: 8

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 3/20/2010 12:40:35 PM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline

Oh, well, in that case, go for it. You're the master, and if that would bring you pleasure, it's his duty to provide, no? I had my pet act in a more "topping" manner a few times, and it didn't seem to make him feel any more "dommy" for it. *shrug*

Just my 2 centavos.

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 9

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 3/20/2010 12:47:41 PM

nancygirl34652

Posts: 291
Joined: 3/10/2010
Status: offline

to me it does not make any difference at all....it is serving Him...in whatever way He chooses.

(in reply to BKSir)

Post #: 10

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 3/20/2010 1:08:42 PM

DWCskitten

Posts: 199
Joined: 3/2/2010
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~
Ooookay. YOU are the Master. i misunderstood. Well, You could ask him to Top You to please an itch You have that needs scratching, and He could wrap his submissive mind around it by saying he is doing it to please You, his Master. That's what i did for a former play partner who is a switch, and it worked. i did it to please Him (making it okay in my submissive mind) AND he was very happy too.

~kitten~

_____________________________

formerly sweetsub1957.

New beginnings...my first poly relationship.

Proudly Owned property of MasterDWC.

(in reply to nancygirl34652)

Post #: 11

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 3/20/2010 2:47:01 PM

UniqueRaven

Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

i had a very interesting conversation with a good friend about this very thing (not in relation to me, for a friend of mine).

His advice? Find another Dominant to do it. Why mess up the good dynamics you have going with your slave? Topping brings up all sorts of emotions, do you want to deal with them?

If you have another Dom friend who's willing to help you "recharge your batteries" i see that as a much better alternative. Up to you - just this is the good advice i have received.

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to DWCskitten)

Post #: 12

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 3/20/2010 3:31:33 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I can pretty much guarantee it would be the end of our relationship.

When I first met him I straight out asked him if he ever had such an interest. If he had said yes I would never have even involved myself with him. I have zero interest in dominating anyone...at all, let alone my partner and my Owner.

(in reply to UniqueRaven)

Post #: 13

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 3/20/2010 4:26:20 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I personally can't top The Man. He wants his feet rubbed, fine. But bastinado, no way. I would feel confused having to tie him up. I would be upset and it would cause problems in our relationship. Honestly, if he really wanted someone to top him I would much prefer he went to a pro domme. No emotional intimacy and no sex. Just getting an itch scratched unemotionally. But that's me. And during the first couple of years together I couldn't have tolerated that. It would have been a deal breaker.

You need to ask him over coffee, not in bed, if he could envision himself topping you. But you need to be aware that lot's of us can't do this at all. And for some of us, it could end the relationship.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 14

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 3/20/2010 4:35:26 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

I couldn't even think that way if i tried.

Well except maybe for Miss Cillie.

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 15

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 3/20/2010 5:33:18 PM

CaffeineOverRide

Posts: 22
Status: offline

Not going to do this with someone else, but thank you for the advice

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 16

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 3/20/2010 6:18:19 PM

Shyla

Posts: 19
Joined: 5/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

i had a very interesting conversation with a good friend about this very thing (not in relation to me, for a friend of mine).

His advice? Find another Dominant to do it. Why mess up the good dynamics you have going with your slave? Topping brings up all sorts of emotions, do you want to deal with them?

If you have another Dom friend who's willing to help you "recharge your batteries" i see that as a much better alternative. Up to you - just this is the good advice i have received.

This.

However, since you are so adament about doing this only with your current partner who is submissive to you, I'll continue on. If my Master/Sire/Daddy casually mentioned one day that he might like me to top him, I would suddenly feel distrustful and insecure. Although it really depends on the dynamics of your own relationship. However, if you are hesitant to bring up your desires with your slave then I would offer that exploring this hesitancy is the FIRST item on the agenda, instead of coming to a group of strangers on how to proceed anyway. Why are you hesitant to express your desire to the person who submits to you? What is the fear that causes you to pause and come here instead of sitting down and talking with him? Are you concerned that even bringing up the topic will change dynamics that are working in your relationship now or in some way be detrimental to your continued interaction with your slave? My polite and concerned suggestion to you would be to do a lot of inward searching on why you are hesitant. Then when you have an answer to that question, you will know how to proceed further.

_____________________________

T minus 3 weeks and counting until I am home at his feet.

(in reply to UniqueRaven)

Post #: 17

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 3/20/2010 7:46:49 PM

takemeforyourown

Posts: 430
Joined: 2/24/2007
Status: offline

When I was with my Dom, I can't imagine having ever topped for him. I guess it depends on the people. He would never have wanted that. If he had demanded it, however, I would have done my best to obey him. It would have been just an act for me though.

(in reply to Shyla)

Post #: 18

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 3/21/2010 3:56:57 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaffeineOverRide

To be dominated, by you.
I know he has it in him, and I'm interrested, but am not interrested in anyone else.
Curious about how I should go about mentioning it, how he may react, if there is anything I should take into consideration.
Thank you

Edit:
I am the Master, he is my Slave.
I would like him to dominate me every once in awhile.

It would be a deal breaker for me. I would walk away from the relationship.

_____________________________

(in reply to CaffeineOverRide)

Post #: 19

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 3/21/2010 10:17:47 AM

CaffeineOverRide

Posts: 22
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shyla

quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

i had a very interesting conversation with a good friend about this very thing (not in relation to me, for a friend of mine).

His advice? Find another Dominant to do it. Why mess up the good dynamics you have going with your slave? Topping brings up all sorts of emotions, do you want to deal with them?

If you have another Dom friend who's willing to help you "recharge your batteries" i see that as a much better alternative. Up to you - just this is the good advice i have received.

This.

However, since you are so adament about doing this only with your current partner who is submissive to you, I'll continue on. If my Master/Sire/Daddy casually mentioned one day that he might like me to top him, I would suddenly feel distrustful and insecure. Although it really depends on the dynamics of your own relationship. However, if you are hesitant to bring up your desires with your slave then I would offer that exploring this hesitancy is the FIRST item on the agenda, instead of coming to a group of strangers on how to proceed anyway. Why are you hesitant to express your desire to the person who submits to you? What is the fear that causes you to pause and come here instead of sitting down and talking with him? Are you concerned that even bringing up the topic will change dynamics that are working in your relationship now or in some way be detrimental to your continued interaction with your slave? My polite and concerned suggestion to you would be to do a lot of inward searching on why you are hesitant. Then when you have an answer to that question, you will know how to proceed further.

He is my husband now, so thats why no one else.
I asked strangers because I would like insight.
I do not understand how he gets off on what I do to him really...
I just know it means a lot of trust and he loves it.
He knew when I met him I was not interrested in being bottom, so we have never talked about it.
I'm doing some soul searching, I just thought it would help to think about those on his end, since I have no experience I thought I could ask those who do.
I do not feel he will leave me just because I asked him to take control sometime.... But I know how emotional this stuff gets and just wanted to understand the strength of those emotions. Some people do not seem to care, while others say they will leave the relationship. We have a strong relationship outside of the lifestyle, guess I am just nervous about how to go about it (like accidently insulting him or something)

(in reply to Shyla)

Post #: 20

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