RE: M/s, a Punishment Dynamic, Internal Enslavement and a Master's Perspective

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RE: M/s, a Punishment Dynamic, Internal Enslavement and... - 3/22/2010 9:19:21 PM

Andalusite

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My Master has authority to punish me, but so far, he hasn't felt it has been necessary. Because I've had some specific bad reactions to corporal punishment in my last relationship, he feels that I would probably respond best to other forms of punishment, if it is needed. When we first started dating, I asked him a bit about his approach to punishment, and when he tended to feel that it was necessary. We mostly focused on other things, but I did want to make sure I understood his views and expectations as much as possible.

ishy, I agree that there's nothing wrong with playing when my Master (or my previous Dominant) was feeling a little out of sorts or annoyed at other things (not at me), but not hitting me from uncontrolled rage, or blaming me for how they were feeling. Usually, if my Master is in that kind of mood, I'll give him a backrub, or just listen to him, and it can pretty easily shift into play. By that point, he isn't generally mad or angry or upset anymore, but if there is a little extra residual aggression, it can be transformed into passion fairly easily. My Master is generally pretty easygoing, so on the rare occasions when he does get stressed out, I want to do everything I possibly can to help him feel better and more relaxed.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 3/22/2010 9:43:08 PM >

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RE: M/s, a Punishment Dynamic, Internal Enslavement and... - 3/22/2010 10:49:35 PM

osf

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I've never hit in anger or expressed anger at whatever she said to me

hitting in anger produces fear and little else, I'd rather have an atmosphere where she wanted to obey to please rather than try to get obedience out of fear

obeying because she wants to please is a stronger motivator than fear

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RE: M/s, a Punishment Dynamic, Internal Enslavement and... - 3/22/2010 11:51:10 PM

sublizzie

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Joined: 5/26/2004
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Santa hated hurting me. The idea of physically punishing me for something was not an option for him. I respond much better to encouragement than I ever have to fear induced by physical pain. He knew my intent was always to please/serve him. If he wasn't happy with something, he'd tell me that he wasn't happy about it and I'd do what I could to rectify the situation.

While there may be some M/s relationships that work best with physical punishment, that is not the route I would be interested in taking. I tend to be more interested in serving than in being beaten. When I am ready to look again, I will look for that kind of relationship. There's no reason you can't find the kind of person who inspires you to set free the slave inside you. It just takes time and a lot of sifting.

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RE: M/s, a Punishment Dynamic, Internal Enslavement and... - 3/23/2010 2:34:44 PM

heartfeltsub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

My Master has authority to punish me, but so far, he hasn't felt it has been necessary. Because I've had some specific bad reactions to corporal punishment in my last relationship, he feels that I would probably respond best to other forms of punishment, if it is needed. When we first started dating, I asked him a bit about his approach to punishment, and when he tended to feel that it was necessary. We mostly focused on other things, but I did want to make sure I understood his views and expectations as much as possible.

ishy, I agree that there's nothing wrong with playing when my Master (or my previous Dominant) was feeling a little out of sorts or annoyed at other things (not at me), but not hitting me from uncontrolled rage, or blaming me for how they were feeling. Usually, if my Master is in that kind of mood, I'll give him a backrub, or just listen to him, and it can pretty easily shift into play. By that point, he isn't generally mad or angry or upset anymore, but if there is a little extra residual aggression, it can be transformed into passion fairly easily. My Master is generally pretty easygoing, so on the rare occasions when he does get stressed out, I want to do everything I possibly can to help him feel better and more relaxed.

Andalusite,

Thank you for your reply. As i thought about having a punishment dynamic at all, it was the actually having the authority to punish more than just the actual corporal punishment that i was afraid of, giving someone the right to punishment me at all. i realize that there is a difference between pain in play and pain in punishment and there isn't really a correlation because of the difference of motivations, but even though i can take a certain level of pain in play, i am not sure that physical punishment would be a good mix for me either.

Thank you again for your reply,
heartfelt

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RE: M/s, a Punishment Dynamic, Internal Enslavement and... - 3/23/2010 2:40:13 PM

heartfeltsub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

I've never hit in anger or expressed anger at whatever she said to me

hitting in anger produces fear and little else, I'd rather have an atmosphere where she wanted to obey to please rather than try to get obedience out of fear

obeying because she wants to please is a stronger motivator than fear

Definitely seems a much better way to go.

heartfelt

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Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

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RE: M/s, a Punishment Dynamic, Internal Enslavement and... - 3/24/2010 1:24:29 AM

myotherself

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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

obeying because she wants to please is a stronger motivator than fear

what the duck said

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RE: M/s, a Punishment Dynamic, Internal Enslavement and... - 3/25/2010 1:27:53 PM

Chastener

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There is a punishment dynamic whether the Master and slave consciously follow it. Mine is to punish only improper conduct, with stated rules in place. It can, of course, be attitudinal, and my judgment is supreme. But a girl's knowing that she could have prevented it from happening --in theory at least, since she is bound to occasionally disobey-- makes her feel the emotional impact of discipline more intensely. And it is this emotional element that is, in the end, far more important than the corporal.

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RE: M/s, a Punishment Dynamic, Internal Enslavement and... - 3/26/2010 4:48:15 AM

DesFIP

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There is always a punishment dynamic? Even when they consciously don't have one because it doesn't work for them? I'd be leery of making such generalizations because there are many people here who don't have a punishment dynamic and wouldn't get into a relationship with someone who insists on one.

As far as punishing her for being human and occasionally messing up as all humans do, you may get off on having an excuse to indulge your sadism but there are lots of people here who don't. Who are comfortable enough with themselves to be above board about being sadists and using it for fun instead of screwing with the self esteem of their partner.

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RE: M/s, a Punishment Dynamic, Internal Enslavement and... - 3/26/2010 8:28:10 AM

dreamerdreaming

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chastener

There is a punishment dynamic whether the Master and slave consciously follow it.

I call bullshit, Chastener.

I have never punished my slave. Funished, yes of course. But I don't need a trumped up excuse, for that. I do it for our mutual pleasure and fulfillment.

What DesFIP said. A reward/punishment dynamic does not exist between my slaveboy and I, consciously or not. The idea bores me, and with that in mind, I chose a slave who has no need of it.

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