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Relocating and Moving - 4/1/2006 5:32:00 PM   
cutelinygurl84


Posts: 84
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		Hi I was just wondering if any of you subs out there would give up your families or relocate for your master/dom if he asked you too.  Recently my dom (bf) asked me yo move to chicago with him once he is out of college.  Not sure I want to leave my family, friends and move, I mean this is a big step.  I feel like if I dont move with him (1) we wont be together anymore we will break up or (2)  we will have a long distance relationship and to be honest I dont know if I can deal with that.  I dont want to loose him over this but I feel I might.  I just wanted advice on what to do b/c I am confussed and lost.  Any thought on this matter will be greatly appreciated.  Thank you.

Cutelinygurl84
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/1/2006 5:38:08 PM   
mistressandy


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline 		if your not comfortable with the move then don,t move you can find a new domm
but youcannot replace your family nor friends

(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/1/2006 5:38:22 PM   
CAROLF


Posts: 56
Joined: 1/29/2006
Status: offline 		Wow this is a tuffy.  i am so new, but.............if i were able to move with my master, i would.  i mean, i'm not involved, but my goal is to submit to the point where moving would not be an issue.  i would go where he said. i would also love to hear input from other subs as well as doms on this.  my gut feeling is tho.........if i have submitted to him and given him my well being as well as my trust, yes, i would move....carol

(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/1/2006 5:41:02 PM   
Lenina


Posts: 73
Joined: 12/4/2005
Status: offline 		When I originally met my dom in November 2005, he was scheduled to come move out here in February. Due to lots of things falling through, that didn't happen.
At one point we disscussed the idea of me moving out there (800 miles away) And while it's a very scary thought to me, I would have done it. I love him, and the idea of ending the relationship due to distance seems silly to me. I'd always wonder what could have happened between us. Would he eventually become my "Master" would we get married, etc.
Regret sucks. Just remember that when you make your decision.

(Now here we are in April and he's still not here, but if all goes according to plan this time (my fingers are crossed) he'll be out here on May first.)



_____________________________

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave."
-Jareth

(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/1/2006 5:47:52 PM   
starymists


Posts: 139
Joined: 2/1/2006
Status: offline 		I guess it really depends. Where do you see this relationship headed? Where do you want it to go?
 
This kind of problem happens in all walks of life. A job transfer...going back to school...parents that fall ill and need someone to be closer to assist with their care.
 
Would I move to be with my Dominant? Yes. Largely because I've found the one that I can see myself growing old with...one that takes me further than any before has been able to take me...what I have found with him isn't replaceable. I can always come back and visit with my family and friends...they can always come an visit me. That being said, this is the first time that I have been involved with one whom I would be willing to go to the ends of the earth with. Fortunately, I've not had to make the choice as we are close enough not to have to relocate to be together. That being said, moving may be in our future as we have been talking more and more of moving to a less crowded part of the state...and if he goes, I will go with him.
 
In the past, moving has been a hard limit for me...but things change for the right person.

(in reply to CAROLF)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/1/2006 5:59:07 PM   
ivorylace


Posts: 56
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline 		First let me say yes, I would move, in a second actually.

Now though,  Follow your heart.  If you have doubts there is probably a reason for them.  Keep a clear mind, think things through, and then act.   Usually if it is meant to be the question won't even be there.   Scary yes, but worth it.......YEP for the right person it is.

~ lace


(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/1/2006 6:45:43 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Well first off..I would have to ask myself..What responsibilities do I have to my family?Could I easily find a job where I move to?Do I have the funds to set aside in case it does not work out?Am I moving beause I fear he may leave me?Or am I moving because I love or wish to serve him?Does he have my best interests at heart? Why can he not move to where I am? How well do I know him? .....only you know the answers to this.I tried to access your profile but was unable to...So I am going to assume you are in your 20s..have no children or the like..and say IMO.after you ask these questions and still wish to move ..why not?..All people move at one time in their life or another for whatever reason...But always remember to not allow any distance or man keep you from keeping in contact with those who love and care about you....be well....tempting

(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/1/2006 6:54:37 PM   
sweetpleaser


Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: starymists

Would I move to be with my Dominant? Yes. Largely because I've found the one that I can see myself growing old with....


I agree with this line, hope you don't mind me borrowing a little starymists.  The key is lifetime committment.  Don't move with someone unless you are sure they are the One.  This is so important because there are so many subs and slaves out there who move with their Dom or Master and then get trapped because they have nowhere else to go if things go sour.  I am all for love and the excitement of a new place but I would be careful as well.   I was lucky that my Dom moved with me.

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to starymists)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/1/2006 7:46:54 PM   
cutelinygurl84


Posts: 84
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		I am in my 20's yes and I do have one son who is 10 months old with my current dom(bf).

Cutelinygurl84

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/1/2006 8:07:35 PM   
sweetpleaser


Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline 		Ohhhhhh, I didn't know about the child.  So you have made a lifetime committment.  Think as a mother then and go with your intuition.
Hopefully things work out for all of you.

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/1/2006 8:09:02 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I think your terms are a tad confusing, "giving up family" and "moving" IMHEO are not one in the same, one can move and still keep family ties as close as they were. Now if one is asked to give up family---I would wonder---
 
My submissive will be moving, 3000 miles to be with Me--he will be "leaving" friends and family, but he won't be giving them up.
 
My question though is--if you don't want to move, why entertain a relationship that would mandate that at some point?

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/1/2006 8:20:15 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		cute:
In your other post about your Dom/bf you say he is not compatable with you in the kink department and your needs are not being met. In this post you are asking about relocating/moving to be with him. I am not being a smart ass here, but I would suggest you have bigger issues to clear up before you even think about moving  far away to be with some one who you have other problems with. I am not sure how far this move is for you, as you  do not have an active profile.

I can tell you I would not move across the street, if I had unresolved issues with my partner.

                   mbmbn

< Message edited by maybemaybenot -- 4/1/2006 8:21:08 PM >

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/1/2006 9:04:01 PM   
cutelinygurl84


Posts: 84
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		He wants me to give them up also b/c he does not get along well with my mom.

Cutelinygurl84

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/1/2006 9:07:12 PM   
cutelinygurl84


Posts: 84
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		Me and my dom(bf) have alot of issues to work out.  But moving might come up real soon before the other issues are worked out.  So I cant keep telling him I am not ready.  Soon I will have to decide weather I want to or not.  Honestly I might have to move and give everything up.  You give things up for the ones you love right?  Do I got the wrong idea about about all this.

Cutelinygurl84

< Message edited by cutelinygurl84 -- 4/1/2006 9:08:04 PM >

(in reply to maybemaybenot)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/1/2006 9:14:42 PM   
MasterDesire


Posts: 45
Joined: 1/20/2005
Status: offline 		Another interesting  topic. If your Dom or Domme is real and understand your
reluctance to move then they should take it upon them selves to back away and give you space. You cant force a relationship to work if the mind is not into it. Yes long distance is very hard without the touch factor but if you can survive that and you understand ther is no rush then  you may make it work. Never assmue that your bowing to his demands will guarantee your success in the life or with him. Never take a chance your not sure of and especially not until you have checked out things totally and are sure who he or she is. Remember  stop look and listen is the best advice

(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/1/2006 9:16:20 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		My mother just died a year ago, and I would've given her up for no one...  they have to learn to work things out themselves... 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/1/2006 9:19:56 PM   
cutelinygurl84


Posts: 84
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		Well my bf seems to think its ok for me to give my mom up.  I mean she can be very annoying and over protective but she will allways be my mom.  I really feel my bf needs to make more of an effort to get along with my mom but that wont ever happen LOL.  They allways fight.  So its either give my family up and move or loose my dom(bf).  I just need to decide who means more to me.  Tuff decision I know.

Cutelinygurl84

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/1/2006 9:29:09 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Wow...  very tough indeed.  I don't think it needs to be an all or nothing choice though.  Families have their problems and some of them are quite difficult to work through, but these people are adults (though I know, even in mine, they don't always act like it) and they need to be able to understand that you are the link here and your feelings need to be considered as well.  I understand that the love of your Dom (bf) is important to you, as well he is the father of your child.  However, I did read that there are other problems lurking about with your relationship with him.  Perhaps the relationship needs a tune-up before any big decisions that will impact you on a daily basis are made...  jmho...

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/1/2006 9:41:06 PM   
cutelinygurl84


Posts: 84
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you your advice really helped me.  I am going to see my dom(bf) tomorrow and talk to him about all this before any big decisions are made.  We need to work out alot of these issues before I consider moving anywhere. 

Cutelinygurl84

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/1/2006 11:06:56 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		You're welcome, cute.
I hope that you and your Dom can have a really heartfelt, calm discussion about all the matters that need attention and that the best possible solution comes about.

Best of luck to you,
Dr

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 20
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