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RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 6:38:12 PM

Aynne88

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Ok.... but you'd better not be wearing panties or a bra!

Okay but only if I get to give you my special gift of submission by you making me strip in the restaurant. If my mentor approves. Where the fuck is domi?

. Bad mentor, no beveri.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 21

RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 6:41:12 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

You generally know a "mentor" is a poor choice when he offers classes like...

"learning to deal with the pain I give."

"Blowjobs 101 through 203"

"Taking it up your ass."

Where's the darn red flag emoti when you really need it???

lovingpet

_____________________________

If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.

(in reply to Smutmonger)

Post #: 22

RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 6:42:29 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Aynne needs a "protector", meet me by dumpster....

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 23

RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 6:47:21 PM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Speaking My Peace........This was written a few years ago. see what you all think! May 5, 2007 9:09 am

Taking someone down this journey of life and fulfillment is not any easy thing to do. After searching for a long time to find some one worthy isn't easy either.You look.....you talk...you encourage....you look...you find.....
Everything looks good. All the matches are there.
Likes and dislikes are there. So you send an e-mail.....no answer.....you send to others hopefully you will receive the one you wanted it.
Ah it finally comes..very nicely written.
An invitation to her friends network and an invitation to her chatroom of local friends in the life. And also willing to chat to find out where we are going. An e-mail sent back and now it
starts.Phone numbers exchanged and the talk begins.She had it bad with other Dom's...Listening to what she had to say....Then she listening to what I had to say. She sees something different in me that was very different then others. We decide to focus on each other and each talk in im's each e-mail each phone conversation......getting better and better. The focus seeming better and better and the ideas of a future together getting closer to a meet.
Everything perfect.....I would think so....
not quite...She has mentors... and they see her
starting something and being happy about it..so they check me out...visited my profile...visited my blogs..I'm receiving great e-mails from her. Everything still on the up and up...So one night when we were suppose to talk when she came home from work.....she was no where to be found.
so I left the morning e-mail of which I always got an answer from.......this time no answer...
Now mind you things are going very well supposedly, in my eyes we had a start to really have a good relationship.....so I catch her in I'm's and then I get told she accepted a collar from her mentors.....what she dreamt about. So I said congrats against my better judgement. And let go. If that's what she wanted then who am I to say no or cause a scene. It's already done.
You started to get your head caught up in a situation that you thought was good. And then get the door slammed in your face. You know you feel something for her or your talking wouldn't have stressed a loving D/S relationship long term...just what she wanted.
All those nice e-mails were saved and the I'm's too....and you go in to your file cabinet and one by one you delete all these nice things that were said to you.........now they don't mean anything and no reason to save them. Took her off the hot list and took her off the friends list...
so now she becomes lost in the Internet garbage can. A place where shit piles up. A beautiful being ,a beautiful heart and probably a great submissive.....for them....fine...they got a treasure.....and I'm still trying to get the door off of my face........I guess you don't chase what you can't catch!I'm a Dominant..I don't take things lightly...I'm just very Disappointed.............and very skeptical of the next submissive that says "yes Sir"! To my way of thinking they over stepped their bounds by interfering....what say you guys??

MstrDark1 owner of Wisdomtogive

Dark1

In my view a mentor has no business getting involved with anyone they agree to mentor. The loss of objectivity reall screws things up.

CP

(in reply to MstrDark1)

Post #: 24

RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 6:52:24 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

Mentor: A wise and trusted counselor or teacher.

This is how I define the person I ask questions about and discuss things with that relate to D/s or bdsm. When I tell him this, he laughs and says I'm his mentor because he gets the same from me.

I have no desire to seek his collar...he has a slave for that.

I have no desire to have sex with him...he has a slave for that.

I do desire to discuss, debate, exchange ideas and sometimes even gossip and share a silly joke and a laugh.
We've also been know to play a mean game of online chess, dragging it out for a week or more.

My mentor is my friend...not my keeper.

I think that the word mentor has been really badly used in the kink context. What the OP calls a mentor isn't a mentor, it's a guardian really. You definition of mentor is well aligned with mine.

When I was figuring out how to express my dominance in BDSM term, there was someone very important in my life (he still is) who helped me work a lot of stuff out. It was really only in hindsight that I considered him a mentor, because he really fast track through some stuff. That said, he is also one of my best friends and I've taught him stuff back since then.

I think we all have something to teach and to learn. If at some point someone teaches us a lot and we like where they are going with it, it can be like an informal mentor situation. That said, I don't see the need for a formalised mentor dynamic in kink unless you are going to have a kink-related career.

- LA

<edited because after an 17-hr work day, I can't spell more than usual>

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 3/24/2010 7:18:02 PM >

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to CarrieO)

Post #: 25

RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 6:54:54 PM

Aynne88

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Aynne needs a "protector", meet me by dumpster....

Last time I was by a dumpster Katy, I saw Jefff and domi crouching over a carcass, eyes shining and glazed over like a Nat Geo documentary on jackals. *shivers* Oh and domi was beating a subbie with a severed beagle leg. It was whack.

You wanna come with?

.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 26

RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 7:00:02 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Any woman who needs a mentor or a protector, doesn't trust herself or know herselfenough for Me to bother with.

I would not waste My time

Do men need womentors?

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 27

RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 7:00:28 PM

DWCskitten

Posts: 199
Joined: 3/2/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO
Mentor: A wise and trusted counselor or teacher.

This is how I define the person I ask questions about and discuss things with that relate to D/s or bdsm.

i agree.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger
You really do have to keep this sort of relationship objective. People who fall under the influence of obviously unethical teachers make me twitch.

And unethical teachers make me twitch.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger
You generally know a "mentor" is a poor choice when he offers classes like...

"learning to deal with the pain I give."

"Blowjobs 101 through 203"

"Taking it up your ass."

lol i've heard from that type. That kind of so-called mentoring is just a way to try & get in someone's pants (if she's wearing any lol). They must use that as an excuse because They can't get anyone by just being Themselves. It's just too bad when unethical teachers and unsuspecting or naive s-types meet each other.

_____________________________

formerly sweetsub1957.

New beginnings...my first poly relationship.

Proudly Owned property of MasterDWC.

(in reply to CarrieO)

Post #: 28

RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 7:26:24 PM

HisEvelyn

Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline

I have someone on here that I would definitely consider a mentor of sorts. Though until this thread, I never even really thought of him in that way. He was simply a friend that had more knowledge in a lot of things than I did, and offered advice at times. He has always been very respectful and friendly, and never once tried to come between myself and my Master.

Most things I discuss with my Master, but sometimes there are a few things I have to build my courage about before doing so (I'm still shy sometimes), and my 'mentor' has helped me get some perspective so I could better communicate with my Master.

So my personal opinion is that mentors are best when there's no labels involved, and people just help other people when they have knowledge and experience to be shared. :)

(in reply to DWCskitten)

Post #: 29

RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 7:29:00 PM

MstrDark1

Posts: 33
Joined: 12/23/2009
Status: offline

CP,
Thanks i feel the same way

MD

_____________________________

MstrDark1 owner of Wisdomtogive WIITWD

"To get something you never had...you have to do somethning you never did!"

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Post #: 30

RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 7:35:05 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

I never used the formal title of mentor, but I did have a couple of people who attended classes with me, and who were willing to discuss D/s and BDSM issues with me. I also have had a few people willing to work with me one on one (or with me and my Master and my submissive playpartner, now) to teach me specific skills such as needle play and more intricate rope techniques and so forth. I'd consider that to be essentially mentoring, but those people had no say whatsoever in my relationships, and while I did play with some, I didn't engage in what I would consider to be sexual activity with them.

(in reply to MstrDark1)

Post #: 31

RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 7:35:58 PM

MstrDark1

Posts: 33
Joined: 12/23/2009
Status: offline

Smut,
I feel the same way....subs should mentor subs....it's easier and smarter

_____________________________

MstrDark1 owner of Wisdomtogive WIITWD

"To get something you never had...you have to do somethning you never did!"

(in reply to Smutmonger)

Post #: 32

RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 7:36:24 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

The best part about being a mentor is all of the free pussy.

These subs are so stupid. One minute you are explaining what it means to be a sub and the next you are explaining how their blowjobs are a tad bit too "toothy."

I am a great mentor...However, I have found it difficult to mentor someone that I am not sexually attracted to...Isn't that odd?

_____________________________

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 33

RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 7:52:38 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

MstrDark1, I'm a bisexual switch, so by that logic, I wouldn't be able to get help from anybody except gay men!

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 34

RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 7:53:25 PM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

Rule #1. Never woo another dominant in order to have a relationship with a submissive.

_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to MstrDark1)

Post #: 35

RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 7:55:31 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

MstrDark1, I'm a bisexual switch, so by that logic, I wouldn't be able to get help from anybody except gay men!

LOL!!!!! I never thought about it like that! Darn it all! Now who's gonna help me figure out how to suck cock better?

I guess a gay man could do that, but I dunno. I think I would find myself constantly coming up....short.

_____________________________

If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.

(in reply to Andalusite)

Post #: 36

RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 8:08:35 PM

sweetboundesire

Posts: 285
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline

sucking cock better 101:

get into it....focus

give it some variety & let it turn you on to!

there you go, lesson complete and i don't even charge! how 'bout them apples?

_____________________________

and every broken line seems to have a particular design~
and the universe can only expand.
gotta pocket full of dreams and cash in my hand.
and i know, money ain't real...

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 37

RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 8:10:13 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

Sounds like a good class to me. And I could even teach that class!

_____________________________

If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.

(in reply to sweetboundesire)

Post #: 38

RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 8:10:17 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

Well, they could give you "pointers" orally, I mean verbally.

Or demonstrate on another guy while you watch, I guess. Seriously, I don't need a mentor to teach me how to give a blowjob, but they are useful for stuff like needles.

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 39

RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 8:12:50 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

This is just hysterical!!!! But yeah, I agree it helps especially with dominant skill sets to have a mentor/teacher/friend. I am sure it is perfectly acceptable to just start shoving needles into a subbie's helpless body all willy nilly and all. Should I rephrase that? LOL

lovingpet

_____________________________

If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.

(in reply to Andalusite)

Post #: 40

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