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RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 8:18:20 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		Actually, we had our own private workshop. The Dominant who was helping us is someone I've know for years, and he and his wife are just wonderful people. My submissive playpartner has done a lot of needleplay with him, and he has taught classes on the subject. So, my playpartner's husband, me, and my Master all stuck needles in her one at a time, after the "mentor"/instructor/whateveryawannacallhim demonstrated, with him supervising closely. Then, my Master warmed me up, and put some in me, then I put added a few more to my submissive playpartner. We all had a wonderful time - lots of joking around interesting conversation, and such to go with the needleplay. IMHO, that's how to do mentoring, not "Oh, I'm gonna teach you how to do vanilla stuff you've been doing for years, and tell you who you can date."

In the past, when I played more casually, I did have some friends/playpartners who I could go, "Hey, suspension bondage sounds like fun, I'd like to try bottoming to that. Can you come to the Knotty Boys class with me in a couple of weeks?" or "Ooh, you just got a new set of canes, and I've been intrigued by them since I read this post about them. Would you be willing to show me how they feel?" They didn't accuse me of topping from the bottom, and if for some reason, they weren't interested, we just didn't do it. Usually, they were happy to work with me. I had a couple of friends who were couples, who were willing to allow me to co-top, and show me things more in the context of a natural scene rather than a classroom environment. It's a great way to learn toppy-type stuff.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 3/24/2010 8:24:46 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 8:23:27 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I totally agree! 



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RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 8:24:59 PM   
MstrDark1


Posts: 33
Joined: 12/23/2009
Status: offline 		Helpless body................nah i wanna see it squirm and flop all around !!

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 8:29:29 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 10:00:58 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

Actually, we had our own private workshop. The Dominant who was helping us is someone I've know for years, and he and his wife are just wonderful people. My submissive playpartner has done a lot of needleplay with him, and he has taught classes on the subject. So, my playpartner's husband, me, and my Master all stuck needles in her one at a time, after the "mentor"/instructor/whateveryawannacallhim demonstrated, with him supervising closely. Then, my Master warmed me up, and put some in me, then I put added a few more to my submissive playpartner. We all had a wonderful time - lots of joking around interesting conversation, and such to go with the needleplay. IMHO, that's how to do mentoring, not "Oh, I'm gonna teach you how to do vanilla stuff you've been doing for years, and tell you who you can date."

In the past, when I played more casually, I did have some friends/playpartners who I could go, "Hey, suspension bondage sounds like fun, I'd like to try bottoming to that. Can you come to the Knotty Boys class with me in a couple of weeks?" or "Ooh, you just got a new set of canes, and I've been intrigued by them since I read this post about them. Would you be willing to show me how they feel?" They didn't accuse me of topping from the bottom, and if for some reason, they weren't interested, we just didn't do it. Usually, they were happy to work with me. I had a couple of friends who were couples, who were willing to allow me to co-top, and show me things more in the context of a natural scene rather than a classroom environment. It's a great way to learn toppy-type stuff.


How many times did you get fucked while you learned all of this neat stuff?

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/24/2010 10:25:23 PM   
masterjim37


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/18/2004
Status: offline 		I can see how some people read up and then step into this realm carefully. I can understand some wanting someone to guide them in learning some of the ins and outs, lets face it there isn't a dictionary that we all use, a lot of this is personel inturpitation. I think the fault lie's with the mentor, and her. He/she should have explained that they teach and guide, she learns.
I have had similar situation happen to me and it just sucks, being that invested. Like you I really do open myself to the people i'm interested in, so when it ends badily, Its a punch in the gut. I'm not sure which is worse, that or meeting someone and jsut finding no chemistry when you look at them, but everything else up to that piont leads you down the I'm done looking path. I just file them and the feelings away as a another person that moves through my life.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/25/2010 2:48:27 AM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		If you know it all, you can't learn anything more.

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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/25/2010 5:06:52 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

The best part about being a mentor is all of the free pussy.



Oh that reminds me Domi.... I am emailing you all of the gash shots you ordered me to send.  I am still not quite sure how you can tell where on the 365 levels of submission I am by the shape of my gash but luckily I trust you.

signed...... your ever hopeful mentee


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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/25/2010 5:53:11 AM   
Nslavu


Posts: 342
Joined: 2/1/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrDark1



Speaking My Peace........This was written a few years ago. see what you all think! May 5, 2007 9:09 am

Taking someone down this journey of life and fulfillment is not any easy thing to do. After searching for a long time to find some one worthy isn't easy either.You look.....you talk...you encourage....you look...you find.....
Everything looks good. All the matches are there.
Likes and dislikes are there. So you send an e-mail.....no answer.....you send to others hopefully you will receive the one you wanted it.
Ah it finally comes..very nicely written.
An invitation to her friends network and an invitation to her chatroom of local friends in the life. And also willing to chat to find out where we are going. An e-mail sent back and now it
starts.Phone numbers exchanged and the talk begins.She had it bad with other Dom's...Listening to what she had to say....Then she listening to what I had to say. She sees something different in me that was very different then others. We decide to focus on each other and each talk in im's each e-mail each phone conversation......getting better and better. The focus seeming better and better and the ideas of a future together getting closer to a meet.
Everything perfect.....I would think so....
not quite...She has mentors... and they see her
starting something and being happy about it..so they check me out...visited my profile...visited my blogs..I'm receiving great e-mails from her. Everything still on the up and up...So one night when we were suppose to talk when she came home from work.....she was no where to be found.
so I left the morning e-mail of which I always got an answer from.......this time no answer...
Now mind you things are going very well supposedly, in my eyes we had a start to really have a good relationship.....so I catch her in I'm's and then I get told she accepted a collar from her mentors.....what she dreamt about. So I said congrats against my better judgement. And let go. If that's what she wanted then who am I to say no or cause a scene. It's already done.
You started to get your head caught up in a situation that you thought was good. And then get the door slammed in your face. You know you feel something for her or your talking wouldn't have stressed a loving D/S relationship long term...just what she wanted.
All those nice e-mails were saved and the I'm's too....and you go in to your file cabinet and one by one you delete all these nice things that were said to you.........now they don't mean anything and no reason to save them. Took her off the hot list and took her off the friends list...
so now she becomes lost in the Internet garbage can. A place where shit piles up. A beautiful being ,a beautiful heart and probably a great submissive.....for them....fine...they got a treasure.....and I'm still trying to get the door off of my face........I guess you don't chase what you can't catch!I'm a Dominant..I don't take things lightly...I'm just very Disappointed.............and very skeptical of the next submissive that says "yes Sir"! To my way of thinking they over stepped their bounds by interfering....what say you guys??

MstrDark1 owner of Wisdomtogive



Since when does a teacher whine about losing or getting the short end of the stick? If giving something back to the community is all about getting something back, what sort of teaching does this provide? Is the purpose of mentoring to end up owning? No. It's to teach. If someone is not finding any pride in teaching and bettering the community in general then why mentor at all? It is done to help another advance, to learn and to grow. It is, unless I misunderstand what a mentor is, a selfless, not a selfish act. If someone is training another to become 'their slave', I don't see that as mentoring. I think that interferes with mentoring.












(in reply to MstrDark1)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/25/2010 6:39:59 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		Mentors = red flags.....

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RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/25/2010 6:42:05 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

Mentors = red flags.....



A mentor would change your mind!

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RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/25/2010 6:48:51 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Mothers. Watch your daughters.

That's my final word on this subject.


Ron

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/25/2010 6:49:57 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		And the Mothers and daughters final words should be..



"cough... choke... gag"


Jeff

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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/25/2010 6:51:02 AM   
MstrDark1


Posts: 33
Joined: 12/23/2009
Status: offline 		Nslavu,
         There.s no whining there.There's an attitude adjustment....You read but don't comprehend.It's got nothing to do with bettering the fucking community. There's an infraction there. The mentors stepped over the line because they didn't want her going else where....and her being with them was never discussed until the point of her meeting me!!

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MstrDark1 owner of Wisdomtogive WIITWD

"To get something you never had...you have to do somethning you never did!"

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/25/2010 6:51:22 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

Mentors = red flags.....



A mentor would change your mind!
Jefffffff....i wanted to ask you to be my mentor, but am going to ask Ron instead. He doesn't whine...yanno?


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/25/2010 6:51:46 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I watch my daughter......the carnage she leaves in her wake.

I was a good mentor.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/25/2010 6:52:42 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		You are a mean ass bitch!  That's why I like you.


Mentor Me?

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/25/2010 6:55:22 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

You are a mean ass bitch!  That's why I like you.

Mentor Me?


You wanna be a mean ass bitch too?!?


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/25/2010 6:57:48 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

A mentor would change your mind!
Jefffffff....i wanted to ask you to be my mentor, but am going to ask Ron instead. He doesn't whine...yanno?
Plus, having an anteater for a mentor would violate TOS.

OP: I agree with Jeff here (I know! Freaky, huh?). If someone needs a formal mentorship structure (as opposed to an informal friend to go to with questions/concerns) are they in a place where you want a relationship with them?


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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Mentors........watch your step! - 3/25/2010 7:00:28 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

A mentor would change your mind!
Jefffffff....i wanted to ask you to be my mentor, but am going to ask Ron instead. He doesn't whine...yanno?
Plus, having an anteater for a mentor would violate TOS.

OP: I agree with Jeff here (I know! Freaky, huh?). If someone needs a formal mentorship structure (as opposed to an informal friend to go to with questions/concerns) are they in a place where you want a relationship with them?



I'm sorry...you ladies are all too slow. Jefff is already my mentor. We can't spread him too thin.
Besides, I need lots of protecting as I'm a mindless twit.

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