quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

Submission to me is about doing someone else's will. When I do what he tells me to do, whether I like it or not, I am submitting to him. Even something like having a bowl of icecream is submitting to his will since I am not allowed to have junk food without his permission.

When we first started this relationship, I needed more challenges in order to feel fulfilled. As I have become more content in our relationship, I do not need as many challenging things to feel like I submit to him. I feel it every day; most days it is rather muted and just a low undercurrent of my life. There are times that things happen that highlight how much I submit to him in daily life. However, I am rather content with every day life as it is.

Knight's Kyra

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

Dark and Heartfelt, I'm masochistic as well as submissive, but I feel very differently emotionally and physically when I am bottoming to heavy pain that is barely tolerable, and submitting to a similar level (or higher degree) of pain, or engaging in other, non-play related activities that are difficult for me. I do always feel submissive to my Master, I'm just extra-aware/tuned into it when it is tougher for me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

What is submission?... mmm maybe it would we should start small like solving world hunger?

It is my view point that submission is an action or behavior that is motivated to occur due to an external and Dominant influence. This is very much a cause and effect event and speaks very little to the mental and emotional impact of these events. But, we has humans will and do have thoughts and feelings with regards to our actions and behaviors. The thoughts and feelings we have are part of the feedback we receive from the actions and behaviors we take.

As the writings you quoted indicate. I see that these actions/behaviors grouped into three very broad groupings where the thought and feelings generated are distinctly different from the submissive's view point. As I indicated, there is a balance to be maintained that will contribute to the motivation process of these submissive acts. Everyone's balance is going to be different and in fact each group will result in varying degrees of effect on the person as well. As you indicated, you like it hard/difficult... you like to be pushed etc. Currently, these types of actions/behaviors that create these type of thoughts/feelings have the greatest effect on your submissive state of mind.

There is paradox of sorts to your current situation. You stated that the only time you 'feel' submissive is when you go outside of your comfort zone. Do the things that you wouldn't intiate or do on your own. But... I suspect that you feel good and gratified after the fact. That their is an internalized payback to these events that is very positive for you and your well-being.

In my view... a person needs to effectively fulfill some basic psychological needs and there are many paths for this to occur. The actions/behaviors intiated by the external and dominant influnece may indeed cause various thoughts and feelings that I would group into the tolerated grouping. However, follow farther down the path or go deeper into the pool and one will see that for a healthy and thriving person this process is providing some deep intrinsic fullfillments to ones' basic psychological needs. Now I will also state that it is equally possible that such actions/behaviors will not be instrincally rewarding in fact... it will be inhibiting the fulfillment of these basic needs. I don't suspect that this is the case for yourself. But.. just because this is fulfilling for you, I wouldn't want to encourage someone to try to walk this same path unless they feel their own sense of internal fulfillment from such a path.

Lastly, I would say that the balance and the effects on the various actions/behaviors have on a person are not a constant. Today it works.. tomorrow it changes. I wouldn't say things will change dramatically... but over the course of enough time the changes could be dramatically different from one end of time to the other. As Kyra pointed out... in the beginning.. there was much more a push and as time went on this as subsided to some extent. I think for the most part... that as Kyra let go of her expectations of what she wanted (IE to feel the push of her submssion) and the more she embraced obeying to my expecations the more contentment she began to feel. In some ways.... holding on to the desire of wanting to "Feel Submission" she was holding on to authority away from me. I will ask her to do many things... some she will enjoy some she will not and some she is indifferent on. But the less she worried about how it made her feel and the more she just embraced and obeyed what I wanted... the higher level of contentment she began to enjoy. In the end... this brought her closer her being her! and as such... this is why the contentment occurred. I would say both Alandra and Kyra are at a point where they are less concerned about how the feel and more concerned about just being! For them being is obeying. This is not to say they don't feel.. they feel very much.. but they don't focus on it and seek to respond to it or live to make them happen the way they want. Their feelings are not the one with the authority anymore... I am.

hope that makes sense!~

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
this slave doesn't interpret submission as a feeling. this slave can relate to it as part of a relationship dynamic, a personality trait, a sexual identity...even as a conscious choice between actions, but this slave has never perceived submission as a feeling.