RE: The language of BDSM

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RE: The language of BDSM - 4/3/2010 9:31:34 AM

DesFIP

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Some people get off on humiliation. I find that those who do are those with some difficulty accepting their sexuality. Whether the stereotypical 'Catholic guilt' or due to their own parents' difficulty talking about sex.

I don't find that people who are totally comfortable with their sexuality and others enjoy humiliation. Sexuality to me is equal to my taste in food or any other sensual pleasure. It is important only when I don't get it satisfied. Comes from growing up on a gay beach community.

As such I have no confusion or erotic embarrassment about it. And thus I find humiliation to be not erotic but degrading and abusive. We don't do it because it doesn't work for us. If you need to be outside yourself somehow to be sexual, then you quite likely would find some humiliation to be effective. Horses for courses, as it were.

Like everything else here, use it if it works for you. If it doesn't, then don't.

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RE: The language of BDSM - 4/3/2010 5:27:13 PM

sunshinemiss

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Joined: 11/26/2007
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Celeste,
You know just because it is a naughty word, doesn't mean it is humiliating.

Like... gay people who say, "YES, I'M A QUEER. WHO FUCKING CARES?" Same with "YES, I'M YOUR SLUT AND I NEED YOU TO DO X Y AND Z".

There is a tremendous power in taking back our sexuality.

Also, while it may have been humiliating in the past for some people, it also could just be somebody likes the gleam in another's eye when he says "you are MY slut."

Just a thought or two.
sunshine

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RE: The language of BDSM - 4/3/2010 6:25:31 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

I'm curious... Within BDSM there seems to be a lot, of what in the vanilla world, would be considered derogatory language in regards to subs/slaves.

If someone were to say to me "get me a beer slut" my first reaction is "fuck you" as opposed to "can you grab me a beer" which I'll happily do........

subs/slaves... If you are spoken to in that manner how do you respond... is it positive in confirming your status, do you like it???

As others have probably said, every relationship is different, as is the dynamic within that relationship.

Personally, i get offended by people who think it is appropriate to approach a complete stranger with names that are clearly meant to be humiliating. i sometimes get this in initial e-mails from Doms/Dommes. They'll start off their e-mail with a line like "Hey slut!!!" or "On your knees bitchboy!". i promptly proceed to rip them a new one.

Once you are in a D/s relationship, you may want to give humiliation and name calling a try. You may even find that you like it (personally, i don't). But until you are in a D/s relationship, i believe it is presumptuous and offensive for a D-type to approach you with derogatory names.

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Post #: 63

RE: The language of BDSM - 4/3/2010 7:13:12 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Celeste,
You know just because it is a naughty word, doesn't mean it is humiliating.

Like... gay people who say, "YES, I'M A QUEER. WHO FUCKING CARES?" Same with "YES, I'M YOUR SLUT AND I NEED YOU TO DO X Y AND Z".

There is a tremendous power in taking back our sexuality.

Also, while it may have been humiliating in the past for some people, it also could just be somebody likes the gleam in another's eye when he says "you are MY slut."

Just a thought or two.
sunshine

True, but not in the way the op was asking.

How you doing over there? And isn't it early morning for you now?

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Post #: 64