RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants

RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

Jeffff -> RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (4/1/2010 1:27:44 PM)
There is no "Lifestyle", there is no "community" there is no right and wrong. One womans misogynist is another womans dream. As an experienced submissive I can't believe that hasn't occurred to you. Yuu are kinda self important aren't you?

jbcurious -> RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (4/1/2010 1:39:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 quote: ORIGINAL: jbcurious Agreed, I was incredibly stupid the first time around and it´s taken me 15 years to come back. That's not the same as being new at something. Look at it from a smart dom's perspective. If there are smart women who will go out with me, why on earth would I want to do stupid? Women -- new or not -- who insist on being idiots, will, on the whole, end up with men who are predatory or clueless. Why? Because the guys who know better will choose the women who have their shit together! It's not the case that 99% of doms are misogynists or wannabes. If, in your personal frame of experience, 99% of doms have been losers, that says more about who you are attracting into your life than it does about who actually exists in the world. In no way do I think that that 99% are bad news... I thought I had done the right thing the first time around... met a Dom in a public place a couple of times, he was recommended by a couple of subs in the community and the first play session took place in a club. I said only private no group stuff so we used a private room... I went into subspace and he took it to a group situation. So yes, I am being cautious this time around and I´ll listen to my own instincts and ask lots of questions.

LadyPact -> RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (4/1/2010 1:48:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RealityCheck2010 I take it no one else on this board sends money to Lifestyle rescue shelters. As for newbies: they are NEW and don't know the difference between what is acceptable Lifestyle behavior and dangerous. Not all vanilla rules of common sense carry over. Sorry, but I don't agree. A good common rule of thumb is taking the kink out of a situation for deciding if it is acceptable to the person involved or not. Especially when people are new. In other words, if it wouldn't be ok for your boyfriend to <insert problem here> then you need to look if it's a good situation just because someone slapped the title "master" on themselves. If someone wants to let common sense fly out the window, that's on them. No, I actually don't donate to lifestyle shelters. When I volunteered at DVPC, it was open to any women/children that were in abusive relationships. My pet cause when I lived in GA was the Leather Angel's Fund, based in the Atlanta area. You can find the gentleman who ran the charity on My friend's list.

lally2 -> RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (4/1/2010 1:55:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 quote: ORIGINAL: jbcurious Agreed, I was incredibly stupid the first time around and it´s taken me 15 years to come back. That's not the same as being new at something. Look at it from a smart dom's perspective. If there are smart women who will go out with me, why on earth would I want to do stupid? Women -- new or not -- who insist on being idiots, will, on the whole, end up with men who are predatory or clueless. Why? Because the guys who know better will choose the women who have their shit together! It's not the case that 99% of doms are misogynists or wannabes. If, in your personal frame of experience, 99% of doms have been losers, that says more about who you are attracting into your life than it does about who actually exists in the world. Red, thats too neat and comfy - but in a way youre right. the women who have their shit together (negotiated their way around and learnt what gives and goes) are the ones the guys want, because theyve got their shit together and know how it all plays out. but like no woman knows how to breast feed a baby and has to be shown and no one knows how to drive a car until theyre taught and because there is so much to learn here that isnt instinct, its savvy, it takes time for a smart woman to negotiate and get their shit together. has it never occurred to you how it is that so many subs and slaves around are pretty smart cookies, they are, invariably the ones who get through. the subs that are attractive to 'shit together' Dominants are the ones whove learnt their trade so to speak, many take time to learn how to hand it all over, give up complete control, live in absolute trust. and i would argue many of them have learnt the hard way, myself included. by the same token, it takes time to learn who to trust, who is safe to hand it all over to and give up complete control. youll agree those are the hallmarks of a submissive or slave and those are the urges that drive a submissive or slave to find their Master. the potential, even if youre smarter than a box of monkeys is to put trust in the wrong person, let go and get badly burned.

DomImus -> RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (4/1/2010 3:27:03 PM)
I think anybody who runs into an inordinate number of people who are ________ needs to look in the mirror. The is some reason the ratio is stacked the way it is and there is only one common denominator in the equation. Regarding all these ruined submissives - they probably make the same poor choices outside the "lifestyle" as they do inside it.

Wolf2Bear -> RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (4/1/2010 3:36:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 quote: ORIGINAL: jbcurious Agreed, I was incredibly stupid the first time around and it´s taken me 15 years to come back. That's not the same as being new at something. Look at it from a smart dom's perspective. If there are smart women who will go out with me, why on earth would I want to do stupid? Women -- new or not -- who insist on being idiots, will, on the whole, end up with men who are predatory or clueless. Why? Because the guys who know better will choose the women who have their shit together! It's not the case that 99% of doms are misogynists or wannabes. If, in your personal frame of experience, 99% of doms have been losers, that says more about who you are attracting into your life than it does about who actually exists in the world. Red, thats too neat and comfy - but in a way youre right. the women who have their shit together (negotiated their way around and learnt what gives and goes) are the ones the guys want, because theyve got their shit together and know how it all plays out. but like no woman knows how to breast feed a baby and has to be shown and no one knows how to drive a car until theyre taught and because there is so much to learn here that isnt instinct, its savvy, it takes time for a smart woman to negotiate and get their shit together. has it never occurred to you how it is that so many subs and slaves around are pretty smart cookies, they are, invariably the ones who get through. the subs that are attractive to 'shit together' Dominants are the ones whove learnt their trade so to speak, many take time to learn how to hand it all over, give up complete control, live in absolute trust. and i would argue many of them have learnt the hard way, myself included. by the same token, it takes time to learn who to trust, who is safe to hand it all over to and give up complete control. youll agree those are the hallmarks of a submissive or slave and those are the urges that drive a submissive or slave to find their Master. the potential, even if youre smarter than a box of monkeys is to put trust in the wrong person, let go and get badly burned. That applies to all everyday garden variety relationships, we are all still looking to create a relationship; we just happen to add a bit of kink into the dynamic.

AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (4/1/2010 4:01:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RealityCheck2010 As for newbies: they are NEW and don't know the difference between what is acceptable Lifestyle behavior and dangerous. Not all vanilla rules of common sense carry over. Feel free to block me as well, for I am certain that you will equally dislike my reply as you disliked dick's. The part I have Highlighted is what makes all your other statements as thin as silk. They are also ADULTS and shouldn't jump into something without educating themselves. And Actually ALL the vanilla common sence rules carry over, because a person is a person regardless of how they identify. Dom's are not special in this respect they are still people and capable of being predators, and the same works in reverse I mean just because a woman says she is a submissive does not mean that she is incapable of toying with affections and breaking hearts. The only difference is that in the BDSM lifestyle there is a Power Dynamic that generally gets discussed openly rather than having a pecking order being established by chance. What I think is funny is how you make it lable-centric it is the Misogynistic men who think they are Dominants and the Inner Bitch, self righteous, self proclaimed Pro Domme, sad excuse for a prostitute mentioned in your rant. Wonder why? What about the "do me" submissive who is so interested in living out the romance novel erotica that directed them to BDSM in the first place that they fail to bother getting to know anything about the "Dom" in questions that they agree to a filmed gang bang on a first date just so they can hear the phrase "Good girl" being muttered by a pervert with cigerette stained finger tips. Or the girl who is so stupid that they don't realize the individual they are now collared to is only interested in forcing his cock in her ass and has no idea what BDSM stands for just knows that calling themselves a Master and telling the girl what she wants to hear gets them laid. Predators seek victims. If you are a Victim then you are sought out by the predators. The easier the Victim the more the predators. So if you notice a LARGE amount on any site then that should tell you there are an equally large amount of vapid morons who read about this lifestyle in some Vampire Novel and want to give it a try. As for what DickSteele Said to you, it may be harsh but it's sadly accurate. If it bothers you and you feel you need to save someone then you have a hero or a god complex and well that should be addressed by a therapist. Equally, if you have been involved in this lifestyle for 12+ years then you should be well aware of this behavior and the waste of time it is trying to adress it to the masses because only those who think the exact same way you do will have the same passion you do. I was young when I started in this lifesyle, I was battered and abused both by Dominants and submissives alike. I had to learn I had to educate myself and in the end it is why I am who I am today, not inspite of. QSM

KnightofMists -> RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (4/1/2010 4:16:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RealityCheck2010 .......give the good dominants a bad name. I am not really sure how they do that..... To me they just make me stand out even more for the exceptional person I already am! But yeah... I suppose there is a fine line between some bad Dominants and those good one you referring to... thankfully... I am not so close to that line.

domiguy -> RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (4/1/2010 4:20:55 PM)
I send no money to subby rescue shelters...I believe that a sub can never be released back into the wild and should be immediately put down...via anal.

AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (4/1/2010 5:26:51 PM)
that is the very first time I have agreed with domiguy 100%. QSM

CelticPrince -> RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (4/1/2010 5:43:50 PM)
quote: there was a whole long thread about mysogeny and Ds a while back, you might want to search for that. a domme said to me once about a small chat room set up by aol ages ago, 'it was like shooting fish in a barrel'. it was the first port of call for many a self-discovering sub, me included and after that i always felt like we were a load of little fish being circled by a load of predatory fish. i learnt an awful lot from that place and for some reason the Domme took me under her wing (cyberly) and prevented me from making a big hash of it all. but youre right many subs fell to these predators and came back on the board to tell us it was all sick, horrible, foul and they hotfooted it away. dont know if they ever found their way back. its a shame and it used to make me angry that there really are some selfish people out there who have taken Ds and turned it into a meat market. but in the end its life and submissive doesnt mean stupid - too many leave their common sense at the door and refuse to listen to the warning bells, see the red flags or take a reality check. i used to go to a munch and i met a woman once who was all set to meet her first Top from on-line. she was really excited and nervous. i heard later, not from her, that the experience put her off and she never came back to the munch. she was in her forties, but somehow she failed to pick up on the fact that he was a wrongun, it happens truth is you have to go through a certain amount of that to start with. a young friend of mine recently joined a site and was bombarded with emails from these types, i can see them a mile off, but she cant, yet. what ive noticed is that as youre experience grows youre language changes to that of someone who knows who they are, what they want and who theyre looking for and then those types just dont bother to write anymore, they know theres no point and youre out of reach to them. lally2 Amen, Amen, Amen! CP

LadyAngelika -> RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (4/1/2010 6:05:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RealityCheck2010 Please pardon the rant, but I’ve run into an inordinate number of men on this site that claim to be dominant yet under closure examination, turn out to be misogynistic tops at best and more than likely the kind of man that strikes in anger. Has anyone else had this experience? Yes, but since I'm a dominant woman, it tends to not really affect me other than the general eyeroll when I can't be bothered or the sarcastic reply when my claws are out. quote: This type of behavior has always concerned me. These are the guys that ruin new comers to the Lifestyle and give the good dominants a bad name. I see them as the male equivalent of the tribute happy dommes this site is littered with. Oh gosh, seriously, you have to get over that. If a submissive can't see you for who you are and judges you based on behaviour s/he has seen from another dominant, then this person is not worth your time. I'm not concerned about the image any other dominant, woman or dominant woman puts out because I know the type of person I want to attract is going to see me for me. - LA

lally2 -> RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (4/1/2010 6:07:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan that is the very first time I have agreed with domiguy 100%. QSM its the first time he made me really laugh - [:D]

lally2 -> RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (4/1/2010 6:21:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 quote: ORIGINAL: jbcurious Agreed, I was incredibly stupid the first time around and it´s taken me 15 years to come back. That's not the same as being new at something. Look at it from a smart dom's perspective. If there are smart women who will go out with me, why on earth would I want to do stupid? Women -- new or not -- who insist on being idiots, will, on the whole, end up with men who are predatory or clueless. Why? Because the guys who know better will choose the women who have their shit together! It's not the case that 99% of doms are misogynists or wannabes. If, in your personal frame of experience, 99% of doms have been losers, that says more about who you are attracting into your life than it does about who actually exists in the world. Red, thats too neat and comfy - but in a way youre right. the women who have their shit together (negotiated their way around and learnt what gives and goes) are the ones the guys want, because theyve got their shit together and know how it all plays out. but like no woman knows how to breast feed a baby and has to be shown and no one knows how to drive a car until theyre taught and because there is so much to learn here that isnt instinct, its savvy, it takes time for a smart woman to negotiate and get their shit together. has it never occurred to you how it is that so many subs and slaves around are pretty smart cookies, they are, invariably the ones who get through. the subs that are attractive to 'shit together' Dominants are the ones whove learnt their trade so to speak, many take time to learn how to hand it all over, give up complete control, live in absolute trust. and i would argue many of them have learnt the hard way, myself included. by the same token, it takes time to learn who to trust, who is safe to hand it all over to and give up complete control. youll agree those are the hallmarks of a submissive or slave and those are the urges that drive a submissive or slave to find their Master. the potential, even if youre smarter than a box of monkeys is to put trust in the wrong person, let go and get badly burned. That applies to all everyday garden variety relationships, we are all still looking to create a relationship; we just happen to add a bit of kink into the dynamic. its the 'bit of kink' that can turn into a whole big pile of poo tho [:)] - but i agree. starting out as a teenager on the dating scene i was predated on and got into some situations that would have killed my mother stone dead if she'd heard about them. boy did i ever make a mess of that. but in a way, to be honest, i was easy to predate. unrealised sub who hadnt got the word 'no' down to any useful degree. if id been 18 and looking up BDSM id prolly be one of those sad, pathetic stattistics we sometimes hear about. but im a sassy beeyatch now and alls well with my world [:D] - bring it on!

ResidentSadist -> RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (4/1/2010 9:19:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RealityCheck2010 ... turn out to be misogynistic tops at best and more than likely the kind of man that strikes in anger. Has the fucking moon been full for a month straight or what? How many of these posts can possibly be in the top 100 threads at the same time? To the OP, I am sure we are much safer now that you are here with your crystal ball to predict which of us are “ the kind of man that strikes in anger”. You'll be right at home with all the other amateur armchair shrinks and alarm flag wavers on this site who will help you fish out misogynistic tops and swap victim stories. In the future when posting total bullshit to stir up attention, please remember to mention “protecting children”, “fake profiles” and “SCC” consensual practices. Without one of those additional topics, your thread will be lucky to make 5 pages worth of replies.

aldompdx -> RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (4/1/2010 10:26:10 PM)
The majority of controllers are narcissistic. Misogyny is one manifestation of narcissism.

CaringandReal -> RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (4/2/2010 7:12:18 AM)
quote: the subs that are attractive to 'shit together' Dominants are the ones whove learnt their trade so to speak, many take time to learn how to hand it all over, give up complete control, live in absolute trust. and i would argue many of them have learnt the hard way, myself included. While not really relevant to this topic, I think that a slave (maybe some subs, too) have to "learn their trade" all over again each time (if they are unlucky enough to have to do this more than once) they encounter a new master. So a slave's trade, if we can speak of it in those terms, involves, to a large extent, keeping the doors to learning and change within themselves wide open.

Andalusite -> RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (4/2/2010 8:13:43 AM)
jbcurious, my introduction to D/s and BDSM was as a Domme for 5 years, then I had several other relationships before going public at all. I think it was a combination of luck and good screening - I tried to be mature, get to know the other person well first, get an idea of their character before getting too involved with them, but some people are adept at hiding their true nature. I wish you luck this time around. In general, I think there are a few misogynistic men around, but more who think that the "on your knees slut/whore/whatever" and other remarks about women are desired by women, just as there are some Dommes (mostly pro) who go with the lowly worm schtick. A lot of people start out with their ideas and fantasies from porn, and with some luck and time, become more realistic in their approach.

RCdc -> RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (4/2/2010 8:57:10 AM)
I take it you have never breast fed then? I never breast fed and yet, I didn't have to be shown. Being a slave or a submissive to some people is JUST like breast feeding - only not the way you implied. Some people have commen sense and wouldn't even look at a someone who just might not be compatable with them and others do. I disagree with the Op. I do agree with RedMagic. All I see is excuses for poor self control and judgement and blaming all the big bad misogynistic dominants. Not every slave or sub has to go down the road of having shitty relationships. If there is an issue where you keep coming up against the same type of person the only common factor is yourself. the.dark.

mnottertail -> RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants (4/2/2010 9:01:07 AM)
I loves to hates me some wimminz. Anyone want the dogfuck slapped outta em, just you pop by the house. Cuz I am a caring, giving hater!!! Ron

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875