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Misogynistic men who think they are dominants - 4/1/2010 11:49:33 AM

RealityCheck2010

Posts: 4
Joined: 3/28/2010
From: Suburbia, MI
Status: offline

Please pardon the rant, but I’ve run into an inordinate number of men on this site that claim to be dominant yet under closure examination, turn out to be misogynistic tops at best and more than likely the kind of man that strikes in anger.

Has anyone else had this experience? This type of behavior has always concerned me. These are the guys that ruin new comers to the Lifestyle and give the good dominants a bad name. I see them as the male equivalent of the tribute happy dommes this site is littered with.

< Message edited by RealityCheck2010 -- 4/1/2010 11:55:28 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants - 4/1/2010 12:01:48 PM

DickSteel

Posts: 148
Joined: 3/20/2010
From: Man of Mystery & Intrigue
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealityCheck2010
Has anyone else had this experience?

NO

Get therapy.

Your paranoia is at critical mass.

_____________________________

The man of steel is laughing with you, not at you.

(in reply to RealityCheck2010)

Post #: 2

RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants - 4/1/2010 12:17:53 PM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

there was a whole long thread about mysogeny and Ds a while back, you might want to search for that.

a domme said to me once about a small chat room set up by aol ages ago, 'it was like shooting fish in a barrel'. it was the first port of call for many a self-discovering sub, me included and after that i always felt like we were a load of little fish being circled by a load of predatory fish. i learnt an awful lot from that place and for some reason the Domme took me under her wing (cyberly) and prevented me from making a big hash of it all.

but youre right many subs fell to these predators and came back on the board to tell us it was all sick, horrible, foul and they hotfooted it away. dont know if they ever found their way back.

its a shame and it used to make me angry that there really are some selfish people out there who have taken Ds and turned it into a meat market. but in the end its life and submissive doesnt mean stupid - too many leave their common sense at the door and refuse to listen to the warning bells, see the red flags or take a reality check.

i used to go to a munch and i met a woman once who was all set to meet her first Top from on-line. she was really excited and nervous. i heard later, not from her, that the experience put her off and she never came back to the munch. she was in her forties, but somehow she failed to pick up on the fact that he was a wrongun, it happens

truth is you have to go through a certain amount of that to start with. a young friend of mine recently joined a site and was bombarded with emails from these types, i can see them a mile off, but she cant, yet. what ive noticed is that as youre experience grows youre language changes to that of someone who knows who they are, what they want and who theyre looking for and then those types just dont bother to write anymore, they know theres no point and youre out of reach to them.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to RealityCheck2010)

Post #: 3

RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants - 4/1/2010 12:23:18 PM

GraciousLady

Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealityCheck2010

Please pardon the rant, but I’ve run into an inordinate number of men on this site that claim to be dominant yet under closure examination, turn out to be misogynistic tops at best and more than likely the kind of man that strikes in anger.

Has anyone else had this experience? This type of behavior has always concerned me. These are the guys that ruin new comers to the Lifestyle and give the good dominants a bad name. I see them as the male equivalent of the tribute happy dommes this site is littered with.

Just weed them out. Life is full of broken people.

(in reply to RealityCheck2010)

Post #: 4

RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants - 4/1/2010 12:24:22 PM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DickSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealityCheck2010
Has anyone else had this experience?

NO

Get therapy.

Your paranoia is at critical mass.

dick - youre a Dominant, im presuming and have absolutely no idea what newbie subs have to put up with.

to make an analogy: i was watching a Natural History programme a while back. little baby penguins were trying to get out to sea through the melt-ice to feed, some made it, some got eaten by leopard seals - (laughing at self, not penguins) - slightly over the top, but that is how it feels for some people trying to get through the maze of varying people, types, agendas and personal priorities. its a jungle out there for clueless newbies.

< Message edited by lally2 -- 4/1/2010 12:29:44 PM >

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to DickSteel)

Post #: 5

RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants - 4/1/2010 12:30:29 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

Misogyny and dominance are not necessarily mutually exclusive. However, I do prefer to have relationships with those who like people in general, including themselves. (Oh, and of course, me! )

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to RealityCheck2010)

Post #: 6

RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants - 4/1/2010 12:30:33 PM

RealityCheck2010

Posts: 4
Joined: 3/28/2010
From: Suburbia, MI
Status: offline

I've actually hidden Dick's post. His comment is proof of just the type of behavior I'm talking about. Just because he is dominant doesn't mean he is omnipotent.

I'm not new to the Lifestyle. I've been involved for 12+ year RT. I love the vanilla tag beside my name. As if...

(in reply to lally2)

Post #: 7

RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants - 4/1/2010 12:32:43 PM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DickSteel

NO

Get therapy.

Your paranoia is at critical mass.

I can't decide if you're being sarcastic or not. If you are, then whoever's tag it is that says we need a sarcasm font is right.

If not, then, mate, seriously?! You've never come across a misogynistic Dom?

I get mails from them occasionally, and I'm not even an s-type-does that make me paranoid too?

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to DickSteel)

Post #: 8

RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants - 4/1/2010 12:42:48 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

If you've been in the lifestyle for 12+ years, it shouldn't be news to you that there are all types of people involved in BDSM, just like there are all types in any other cross section of society. Why on earth would CM be any different?

Oh, and for the record, nobody 'ruins' newcomers to the lifestyle. When folks aren't careful with their screening processes and make bad choices, THAT has consequences. Maybe a very good reason why BDSM is best suited for adults.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

Post #: 9

RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants - 4/1/2010 12:57:19 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Oh, and for the record, nobody 'ruins' newcomers to the lifestyle. When folks aren't careful with their screening processes and make bad choices, THAT has consequences. Maybe a very good reason why BDSM is best suited for adults.

Yep yep yep! Accept responsibility for your own ruination!

Also, as catize stated, it's quite possible to be a misogynist and a dominant at the same time. (Hell, why should male subs be the only ones with attitudes?)

Also, my experience is that lifestyle femdoms are more likely to be "anti-men" than what you call "tribute dommes." Tribute dommes often have a dominant (or nilla) boyfriend, and a harem of slaves.

What's with all the ranting women lately? I'm gearing up for a rant of my own! Grrrrr!

--BadAngryDomWhoHitsWomen

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 10

RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants - 4/1/2010 1:03:07 PM

RealityCheck2010

Posts: 4
Joined: 3/28/2010
From: Suburbia, MI
Status: offline

I take it no one else on this board sends money to Lifestyle rescue shelters.

As for newbies: they are NEW and don't know the difference between what is acceptable Lifestyle behavior and dangerous. Not all vanilla rules of common sense carry over.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 11

RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants - 4/1/2010 1:06:10 PM

Wolf2Bear

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealityCheck2010

Please pardon the rant, but I’ve run into an inordinate number of men on this site that claim to be dominant yet under closure examination, turn out to be misogynistic tops at best and more than likely the kind of man that strikes in anger.

Has anyone else had this experience? This type of behavior has always concerned me. These are the guys that ruin new comers to the Lifestyle and give the good dominants a bad name. I see them as the male equivalent of the tribute happy dommes this site is littered with.

Cripes...here we go again. Ever think of using the search function before posting the same worn out diatribe? Just as bad as whiney assed subs that all they know how to do is complain.

< Message edited by Wolf2Bear -- 4/1/2010 1:07:26 PM >

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to RealityCheck2010)

Post #: 12

RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants - 4/1/2010 1:08:24 PM

RealityCheck2010

Posts: 4
Joined: 3/28/2010
From: Suburbia, MI
Status: offline

Thanks for the tip. I did a search, I guess the previous poster used a different word.

(in reply to Wolf2Bear)

Post #: 13

RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants - 4/1/2010 1:09:17 PM

Thadius

Posts: 5091
Joined: 10/11/2005
Status: offline

What about those of us that are dominates who think we are mysogynistic men? Some of us actually like receiving massages.

Damn I couldn't even type that with a straight face.

_____________________________

When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends." ~ Japanese Proverb

(in reply to RealityCheck2010)

Post #: 14

RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants - 4/1/2010 1:10:21 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealityCheck2010
I take it no one else on this board sends money to Lifestyle rescue shelters.

As for newbies: they are NEW and don't know the difference between what is acceptable Lifestyle behavior and dangerous. Not all vanilla rules of common sense carry over.

The problem with a holier than thou attitude is that it can blind you to the reality of the people you're talking to.

I donate slightly over 10% of my income each month to causes, primarily focused on low income workers, especially women who do service work and agricultural work. I also do a fair amount of volunteer work each month, some of which could be categorized as "lifestyle" volunteer work, I suppose. I have also donated to "lifestyle" legal defense funds.

You seem to be making the assumption that if we don't agree with you, that means we are heartless bastards. I might be, but at least catize and LadyPact aren't. Also, as far as I'm concerned, 100% of the vanilla rules of common sense carry over. If you honestly don't see that they do, you haven't learned all that much in the last twelve years, to be honest. Might want to check your reality.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to RealityCheck2010)

Post #: 15

RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants - 4/1/2010 1:12:39 PM

jbcurious

Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealityCheck2010

I take it no one else on this board sends money to Lifestyle rescue shelters.

As for newbies: they are NEW and don't know the difference between what is acceptable Lifestyle behavior and dangerous. Not all vanilla rules of common sense carry over.

Agreed, I was incredibly stupid the first time around and it´s taken me 15 years to come back. I´m not naive by any means... I spent 3 years backpacking around the world on my own and was able to avoid or handle any incidents that occurred, unfortunately that wasn´t the case in BDSM... but it will be this time.

(in reply to RealityCheck2010)

Post #: 16

RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants - 4/1/2010 1:16:09 PM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealityCheck2010

Please pardon the rant, but I’ve run into an inordinate number of men on this site that claim to be dominant yet under closure examination, turn out to be misogynistic tops at best and more than likely the kind of man that strikes in anger.

Has anyone else had this experience? This type of behavior has always concerned me. These are the guys that ruin new comers to the Lifestyle and give the good dominants a bad name. I see them as the male equivalent of the tribute happy dommes this site is littered with.

No. I would say the opposite.

I've been surprised by the number of men who are breaking their necks to impress women with child like humour - self-proclaimed dominants. Really surprising - assuming you assume that everything is what it seems or purports to be.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to RealityCheck2010)

Post #: 17

RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants - 4/1/2010 1:18:02 PM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

I take it no one else on this board sends money to Lifestyle rescue shelters.
If you want to put money on that, I will take the bet. I could use a little extra cash.

As for newbies: they are NEW and don't know the difference between what is acceptable Lifestyle behavior and dangerous. Not all vanilla rules of common sense carry over.
Why not? Do people suddenly become stupid when they decide to explore the lifestyle? If you wouldn't send some vanilla asshole a nude pic, why would you send a pic to someone if they put Master in their nicname? Common sense is still common sense. Don't meet people you don't know at motel's...same concept whether your talking to someone on a vanilla web site or on CM.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to RealityCheck2010)

Post #: 18

RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants - 4/1/2010 1:19:40 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealityCheck2010

I take it no one else on this board sends money to Lifestyle rescue shelters.

As for newbies: they are NEW and don't know the difference between what is acceptable Lifestyle behavior and dangerous. Not all vanilla rules of common sense carry over.

"The sky is falling.... the sky is falling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

We are talking grown adults here (one would hope) grown, rationally (okay that might be a bit of a stretch given the usual posts I read in the politics threads and off topic, but....I digress) thinking adults. Responsible for themselves. If a person is going to ALLOW other people to ruin ANYTHING for them.......then they didn't deserve it anyway. New or not.

And........what LadyPact said.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 4/1/2010 1:20:21 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to RealityCheck2010)

Post #: 19

RE: Misogynistic men who think they are dominants - 4/1/2010 1:26:06 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious
Agreed, I was incredibly stupid the first time around and it´s taken me 15 years to come back.

That's not the same as being new at something. Look at it from a smart dom's perspective. If there are smart women who will go out with me, why on earth would I want to do stupid? Women -- new or not -- who insist on being idiots, will, on the whole, end up with men who are predatory or clueless. Why? Because the guys who know better will choose the women who have their shit together!

It's not the case that 99% of doms are misogynists or wannabes. If, in your personal frame of experience, 99% of doms have been losers, that says more about who you are attracting into your life than it does about who actually exists in the world.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to jbcurious)

Post #: 20

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