RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...'

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VaguelyCurious -> RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...' (4/1/2010 7:25:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BoiJen I'm not intruding...or not trying to...Ma'am told me to answer this.... You're certainly not intruding! I'm always glad to hear what you and Ms Kitty have to say [:)] quote: As a boi and a bottom, I know for a fact that best way to feel some real sadism is to mess up a bottom's scene. I'm the type to get livid, as a bottom, and put the DM in his place. Friend or not...that was rude. See, I try as hard as I can not to ever get livid-not pretty when it happens. I figure a guy making an out-of-place comment is probably not that damaging in the grand scheme of things. quote: Secondly, or mainly as it pertains to the Dommes, Ma'am is of the opinion that one of the best ways to get anybody to do what She wants them to do is to use Her feminine wiles to manipulate a situation. It's what She does in a scene...She's a sadist. She happily and purposefully does what the bottom doesn't like and then finds some God aweful way to get the bottom to ask for more of it. One of these ways (as She happens to truly enjoy the vantage point and it does make Her feel powerful) is by having a personal strung up while She's on Her knees or sitting down on the floor doing the geni-torture bit. Being right there happens to put Her face right there. It makes it easier for Her to see what She's doing to the person's tender bits and it makes it easy for Her to do thing like kiss or lick the inner thighs or sore parts just so the bottom starts to beg to be hurt more so they can get more of the fun touch stuff. Excuse me while I go sit quietly in a corner for a moment, and let my brain return to room temperature... quote: It's a very similar comparison She likes to make, one of the fastest ways She can get a man or a boi to submit is to threaten them with a blow job. If someone's idea of Dominance or topping is in disagreement with Her, they can go to hell. It's Her scene, not theirs. And She gets very vocal about that when anyone wants to "correct" Her on it. Besides, if the DM was a bottom male, as the OP seems to point to, he was attempting to use your scene as a fanatsy basis for himself and you being on the floor fucked up his idea of what would have been "perfect" for him. And for that, he can stick his dick in a light socket. boi I feel better hearing so many people say that (the bit about it being the D's scene, not the bit about cocks and light sockets...). Sometimes I'm not sure where the line between 'it's my scene and therefore my call' and 'I'm going to ignore what you have to say even if it could help me' lies, and I just wanted to check I was on the right side of it this time [:)]

SweetDommes -> RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...' (4/1/2010 7:27:37 PM)
You are definitely on the right side of that line. It's fine to listen to what they have to say, but, particularly with something like how you stand/don't stand, it's ultimately your call - and if they don't like it, then they need to either close their eyes, or open their minds.

PeonForHer -> RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...' (4/1/2010 7:32:41 PM)
quote: Excuse me while I go sit quietly in a corner for a moment, and let my brain return to room temperature... Me likewise. Scorcher. Boijen has tipped the balance regards the 'dommes on their knees' issue for me. [;)]

BoiJen -> RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...' (4/1/2010 7:40:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious I feel better hearing so many people say that (the bit about it being the D's scene, not the bit about cocks and light sockets...). Sometimes I'm not sure where the line between 'it's my scene and therefore my call' and 'I'm going to ignore what you have to say even if it could help me' lies, and I just wanted to check I was on the right side of it this time [:)] Here's the thing...whatever is being told to you, you get to try on. It's like a nice looking piece of jewelry. You get to decide if it's right for you. If it doesn't fit or feel good, fine thanks for playing. But the thing to know is that if something like being connected to the floor is important to you or already known to be the most comfortable to you, then you get to tell the person to fuck off. It's your scene and you know what makes you comfortable. Besides it's not like you had the bottom's bits tied up in some manner that if you were on the floor and not towering over him that he was gonna get castrated or some other way permanently injured. So, unless it's plotting time like "ya know, I saw you doing x, y, and z but if did a this way in there like that you 'd really see him light up like a Christmas tree!" and someone looking to add to your play style rather than change it, they're being intrusive. What I've taken the long way around to say is...there's a huge difference between attempting to add to your play style and attempting to get you to change your play style. boi PS. Ma'am is happy to discuss Her ideas with other Dommes but She often sends me and any other bottoms around on some kind of errand so that all we end up hearing is "ooooh! I Have to try that!" and laughing. It's never a good thing but someone how we all end up wanting more of the not so good thing. Tis the life a FemDom's s-type.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...' (4/1/2010 7:46:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BoiJen What I've taken the long way around to say is...there's a huge difference between attempting to add to your play style and attempting to get you to change your play style. boi That sounds like a really good distinction, and it's something I'm definitely going to keep in mind. Thankyou [:)] quote: PS. Ma'am is happy to discuss Her ideas with other Dommes but She often sends me and any other bottoms around on some kind of errand so that all we end up hearing is "ooooh! I Have to try that!" and laughing. It's never a good thing but someone how we all end up wanting more of the not so good thing. Tis the life a FemDom's s-type. I can hear in your writing just how distressing you find this :P

BoiJen -> RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...' (4/1/2010 7:52:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: Excuse me while I go sit quietly in a corner for a moment, and let my brain return to room temperature... Me likewise. Scorcher. Boijen has tipped the balance regards the 'dommes on their knees' issue for me. [;)] This is kind of a rant and kind of a brag....feel free to skip over...I'll wrap it up at the end with making it relate to the OP. Ok...so if anyone was at the Woodshed when I did my demo in Jan you saw the short scene. One of my whips has a lead fish weight that's tied with a square knot to cover it making it very safe to play with. This is used to balance the whip and is the end knot of the "handle". It also happens to help the whip function very well as substitute cock. Ma'am often bottoms for my demos because it's easier than finding a local bottom. In this instance She turned the effin tables on me. I'm doin the whip thing and all of that....barely getting Her back cuz She's not some hardcore bottom and it's supposed to be a show to get people excited. She decided to turn around and drop to Her knees and do the cat crawl at me while I was changing whips. This ended up with me holding the whip in a particular way that made it fall down like a half hard cock. I couldn't watch Her tongue it and suck on it cuz we were supposed to be doing a whip demo. How I ended up with Her grinding Her ass in my face (rubbing my poor little nose a little raw...which made me squirm in a little pain and Her laugh) then kickin me around a bit, I have no idea. All I know is it happened where I was "on top" and suddenly I wasn't any more. Never under estimate the power of sex in a scene. My favorite fantasy happens to start of with being tied to a chair and getting a blow job. If ANYone seriously thinks the person tied to the chair is the "top" in that situation....they simply aren't creative enough to see all the possibilities. Sure there are Dommes out there who can't fathom how giving head can be a Dominant or Sadistic act...but that's because they're boring and unimaginative. And I believe this to be a fact of life. It's like saying penetrating is a dominant act only...we all know it's bullshit. Have fun and good night, I need to head to bed...there's a Sadist calling my name. boi

LadyPact -> RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...' (4/1/2010 7:55:53 PM)
I admit to just skimming. I think I'm going to be the odd person out on this one. Now, had your friend (who happened to be a DM) interrupted your scene or period of time when you were enjoying after care, I'd have seen it as an intrusion. From reading the OP, that doesn't sound like it was the case. It sounded more like he was trying to give you a piece of advice of how other people might see it if you were on the floor. I don't know what things are like across the pond as far as how stringent folks that attend clubs are on the 'never higher than the D' thing. I can say that here, yes, there are some who think that is the world's gospel. (What can I say? There are extremists everywhere.) It could be that your friend was trying to let you know this so you could avoid issues in the future with the hard core club. Another possibility that occurred to Me was that your friend may wanted to help you avoid other tops who might automatically assume you were a bottom or switch because you were on the floor. Both of these possibilities, while perhaps misguided, I can honestly see as someone who might have just been offering a bit of advice. I see the friend who was trying to help, rather than the official capacity as a DM. There's something about this that makes Me think his intentions were good.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...' (4/1/2010 8:07:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I admit to just skimming. I think I'm going to be the odd person out on this one. Now, had your friend (who happened to be a DM) interrupted your scene or period of time when you were enjoying after care, I'd have seen it as an intrusion. From reading the OP, that doesn't sound like it was the case. It sounded more like he was trying to give you a piece of advice of how other people might see it if you were on the floor. I don't know what things are like across the pond as far as how stringent folks that attend clubs are on the 'never higher than the D' thing. I can say that here, yes, there are some who think that is the world's gospel. (What can I say? There are extremists everywhere.) It could be that your friend was trying to let you know this so you could avoid issues in the future with the hard core club. Another possibility that occurred to Me was that your friend may wanted to help you avoid other tops who might automatically assume you were a bottom or switch because you were on the floor. Both of these possibilities, while perhaps misguided, I can honestly see as someone who might have just been offering a bit of advice. I see the friend who was trying to help, rather than the official capacity as a DM. There's something about this that makes Me think his intentions were good. I think it may well have been the result of good intentions (avoiding issues with the hardcore), but he did seem personally uneasy with the floor thing. The event was the afterparty for a local kinky market-not a particularly formal atmosphere in general.

cloudboy -> RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...' (4/1/2010 9:28:54 PM)
Generally others like their own world views and preferences confirmed, not challenged. Welcome to the world of violating others' norms.

Politesub53 -> RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...' (4/2/2010 3:19:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: Excuse me while I go sit quietly in a corner for a moment, and let my brain return to room temperature... Me likewise. Scorcher. Boijen has tipped the balance regards the 'dommes on their knees' issue for me. [;)] I have never had a problem with a Domme being on her knees. [8D]

thishereboi -> RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...' (4/2/2010 6:56:39 AM)
I would have thanked him for his concern and then explained that I don't play at parties to impress other people. I play to have fun and if that means I get down on the floor next to him or her, then that is what I do.

Andalusite -> RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...' (4/2/2010 8:10:15 AM)
Sometimes it's just more practical and easier on your back to kneel to tie or hurt someone than to bend over. I've played while lying down before, either in bed or on the floor, and I don't see anything wrong with it. I probably would have said something along the lines of, "Thanks for letting me know, but since it isn't against the rules, I'll play in whatever ways work for me and my partner." [:D] I haven't had anyone be outright disapproving of my play, but a bunch of people did express worry and concern when we set up a rough-housing playfighting scene (with pads on the floor, just in case. They didn't interrupt the scene, but I caught their expressions in frozen moments, and a couple of them talked with me afterward about it. We were having a blast, and neither of us got seriously hurt or anything.

LadyPact -> RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...' (4/2/2010 9:20:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact There's something about this that makes Me think his intentions were good. I think it may well have been the result of good intentions (avoiding issues with the hardcore), but he did seem personally uneasy with the floor thing. The event was the afterparty for a local kinky market-not a particularly formal atmosphere in general. It could also be that, even though he felt he was trying to help you a bit, he wasn't quite comfortable doing so. He may have been a bit afraid that it was going to cause a confrontation of sorts. I'd ask you to take a look at some of the prior answers to your original. Even though all of them would have been perfectly justified, can you see how some of them could have potentially been disturbing? He may have been a little afraid of how you would react, even if you're the nicest gal in the world. Remember, he is a DM and he's probably seen more than his share of female tops who would need a crowbar to remove their head from their backside when they get full of themselves.

slavekal -> RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...' (4/2/2010 1:18:39 PM)
Does this person know basic anatomy? On your side and on your knees are not even the same thing.

PeonForHer -> RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...' (4/2/2010 1:43:44 PM)
He may have been a little afraid of how you would react, even if you're the nicest gal in the world. You have a point there, LP. He could well have caught sight of the 'Death or Glory' tattoo on VC's back or the words 'hate' and 'kill' etched onto her knuckles.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...' (4/2/2010 2:00:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact There's something about this that makes Me think his intentions were good. I think it may well have been the result of good intentions (avoiding issues with the hardcore), but he did seem personally uneasy with the floor thing. The event was the afterparty for a local kinky market-not a particularly formal atmosphere in general. It could also be that, even though he felt he was trying to help you a bit, he wasn't quite comfortable doing so. He may have been a bit afraid that it was going to cause a confrontation of sorts. I'd ask you to take a look at some of the prior answers to your original. Even though all of them would have been perfectly justified, can you see how some of them could have potentially been disturbing? He may have been a little afraid of how you would react, even if you're the nicest gal in the world. Remember, he is a DM and he's probably seen more than his share of female tops who would need a crowbar to remove their head from their backside when they get full of themselves. I can definitely see that-some of the Dommes there are scary, cross people. I think I was thrown by the phrasing of the comment, and by the way he was commenting on something I'd never really thought about as an issue. On a more general note, I want to say thankyou to everyone who has replied; I feel better knowing I'm not the only Domme who heads straight for the floor, and I feel like I've got more of a sense of how to tell constructive criticism from 'constructive' criticism now. I've even learned some interesting new insults :-D

VaguelyCurious -> RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...' (4/2/2010 2:02:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer He may have been a little afraid of how you would react, even if you're the nicest gal in the world. You have a point there, LP. He could well have caught sight of the 'Death or Glory' tattoo on VC's back or the words 'hate' and 'kill' etched onto her knuckles. Ignore Peon, folks-he hasn't seen the tattoo on my back. [:D]

PeonForHer -> RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...' (4/2/2010 5:14:57 PM)
OK, I could have been wrong about that 'Death or Glory' - after all, I only saw the top of the tattoo above your ballgown. I'm willing to accept that it is, as you claim, a much gentler (and indeed cuter) 'Hell's Angels England with Skull" motif.

LadyConstanze -> RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...' (4/3/2010 11:49:23 AM)
I've been on my knees a few times, usually when I put leg shackles on somebody, never made me feel particularly submissive ;)

PeonForHer -> RE: 'Other Dommes don't like...' (4/3/2010 1:05:57 PM)
Some dommes don't even feel un-dommely being on their knees and giving a man a BJ (or so I hear). I suspect that they might feel a little differently if the man's resting his pint on her head at the time, though.

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