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Question for Slaves - 4/7/2010 12:40:19 PM   
kinkyfetishlife


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/23/2010
Status: offline 		I'm curious about a few Slave issues.

1. If you identify as a slave, then do you interract with everyone in that way, I don't mean at the mall, I mean anyone involved in this lifestyle? I guess this question would go for a slave that is not owned.

If you were at an event for example and someone who identified as Dominant, male or female, started telling you what to do, do you listen?
Do you say, I'm not your slave? Does it depend on your attraction to that person? Does it depend on their gender?

2. Do slaves have hard limits? This is a very general question to ask an entire group of people, some may, some may not, but overall, wouldn't the limit itself make you submissive and not a slave?

I am curious about the Master or Mistress/Slave dynamic, since obviously, no one is really a slave, at anytime, you could say, I don't want to do this anymore and take a walk. Plus, it's always been my belief that the Submissives/Slaves actually have all the power (power may not be the right word), anything done to you against your will now turns into a real life abusive relationship which you should run from. So it comes down to, you may lose your Master or Mistress if you don't obey, or catch a beating that you don't really want or some other form of punishement, but the punishment is still agreed upon at some point in the relationship.

I totally understand submissives, actually, there seem to be more submissives than Dominants, I understand why this is. But, the slave mind-set is a bit lost on me and I really am interested in the concept, not because I want to be one, but because I may want one when I feel I am ready, is there a store? Just kidding. Seriously, I do want to understand and may have more questions, one thing at a time.

I appreciate any help.


Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Question for Slaves - 4/7/2010 12:59:02 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkyfetishlife

1. If you identify as a slave, then do you interract with everyone in that way, I don't mean at the mall, I mean anyone involved in this lifestyle? I guess this question would go for a slave that is not owned.
Hell no. Why would I?

quote:

If you were at an event for example and someone who identified as Dominant, male or female, started telling you what to do, do you listen?
Do you say, I'm not your slave? Does it depend on your attraction to that person? Does it depend on their gender?
No. Yes. No. No.

quote:

2. Do slaves have hard limits? This is a very general question to ask an entire group of people, some may, some may not, but overall, wouldn't the limit itself make you submissive and not a slave?
Yes. I walk if he fucks another woman. Other than that, he can pretty much do anything he wants to me.




_____________________________



(in reply to kinkyfetishlife)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Question for Slaves - 4/7/2010 1:20:32 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

1. If you identify as a slave, then do you interract with everyone in that way, I don't mean at the mall, I mean anyone involved in this lifestyle? I guess this question would go for a slave that is not owned.

If you were at an event for example and someone who identified as Dominant, male or female, started telling you what to do, do you listen?
Do you say, I'm not your slave? Does it depend on your attraction to that person? Does it depend on their gender?


if this slave was unowned, she wouldn't identify as a slave...but as a submissive. that being said, she would imagine that if she ever attended a lifestyle function as a single, unowned submissive, she'd be the busiest gal in the room~if the room was full of Dominants interested in engaging her in some fashion...all the way from fetching beverages to being flogged.

quote:

2. Do slaves have hard limits? This is a very general question to ask an entire group of people, some may, some may not, but overall, wouldn't the limit itself make you submissive and not a slave?


it depends on the slave. personally, this slave doesn't limit Master...it's the other way around in our relationship. HE is the one with the hard limits that this slave must adhere to.

quote:

I am curious about the Master or Mistress/Slave dynamic, since obviously, no one is really a slave, at anytime, you could say, I don't want to do this anymore and take a walk.


it isn't obvious to this slave that "no one is really a slave" ~ it depends on the slave. some aren't self-focused/independent enough to walk away...even when they are clearly being used and abused beyond what they signed up for. on the other hand, for some, being used and abused IS what they signed up for, it fulfills them---why would they want to walk away? the law of the land is one thing ~ personal integrity and self-awareness is something else altogether.

quote:

...anything done to you against your will now turns into a real life abusive relationship which you should run from...


this slave is focused on doing His will. He calls the shots. as far as what this slave's will is---she has the will to live...and to serve our relationship in whatever capacity He chooses, not dictate to Him how He will serve our relationship. That is His decision and under His control.

quote:

...I appreciate any help...


you are most welcome.

(in reply to kinkyfetishlife)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Question for Slaves - 4/7/2010 1:25:13 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkyfetishlife

I'm curious about a few Slave issues.

1. If you identify as a slave, then do you interract with everyone in that way, I don't mean at the mall, I mean anyone involved in this lifestyle? I guess this question would go for a slave that is not owned.

If you were at an event for example and someone who identified as Dominant, male or female, started telling you what to do, do you listen?
Do you say, I'm not your slave? Does it depend on your attraction to that person? Does it depend on their gender?

i'm not currently owned. i am respectful and kind to everyone, but i don't submit to everyone, or necessarily do what others tell me to do - i see myself as unowned property for my future Owner, and i protect his interest in me as such. This is one reason i don't attend BDSM parties, or clubs, or events, as an unowned slave.

i've never said "i'm not your slave" - i see that as a bit rude, honestly. i simply say "i'm not a casual player, and i have rules that i use to protect my future owner's property."
quote:


2. Do slaves have hard limits? This is a very general question to ask an entire group of people, some may, some may not, but overall, wouldn't the limit itself make you submissive and not a slave?


You'll get all sorts of opinions on this. My dynamic is this: once i am owned, i no longer have limits, as by selecting an Owner that i trust my limits become his limits, and i trust him and his limits. Now will i ask an Owner in the process of getting to know him what his limits are? Absolutely. i also accept that they will most likely change over time, and i'm fine with that too, as i will trust him.

You'll probably get a lot of different answers to this.
quote:



I am curious about the Master or Mistress/Slave dynamic, since obviously, no one is really a slave, at anytime, you could say, I don't want to do this anymore and take a walk. Plus, it's always been my belief that the Submissives/Slaves actually have all the power (power may not be the right word), anything done to you against your will now turns into a real life abusive relationship which you should run from. So it comes down to, you may lose your Master or Mistress if you don't obey, or catch a beating that you don't really want or some other form of punishement, but the punishment is still agreed upon at some point in the relationship.

I totally understand submissives, actually, there seem to be more submissives than Dominants, I understand why this is. But, the slave mind-set is a bit lost on me and I really am interested in the concept, not because I want to be one, but because I may want one when I feel I am ready, is there a store? Just kidding. Seriously, I do want to understand and may have more questions, one thing at a time.

I appreciate any help.


With slavery, there are many methods used to bind a slave to a man. For one example, you might want to search for "internal enslavement" on these boards. You also might want to read the postings on the Gorean boards. All i can say here is that it isn't as simple as you say - that i could just take a walk at any time. That's not true for me and my dynamic at all.

It really depends upon what form of slavery you practice, and what works for you and your slave. Some dynamics call themselves M/s when really i (if that were my dynamic) would call it more D/s. But that's just me, and i think everyone should do what works for them, ultimately.



_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to kinkyfetishlife)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Question for Slaves - 4/7/2010 1:50:57 PM   
kinkyfetishlife


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/23/2010
Status: offline 		UniqueRaven - Your response was very helpful, since your perspective is from a slave that is not owned and I appreciate it very much. It brings up other questions though, as I hoped the responses would.

You said, "What form of slavery you practice".

Of course, now I want to know what forms there are. But, I won't ask that here, I'll wait till I can be more specific. I'll look around on this board as you suggested and see what I can find.

I agree that everyone should do what works best for them and believe that people find their own relationship dynamic, the one that fits them best, it should be a process, a work in progress, which is why I hate to define the relationship I'm looking for in too much detail. You just never know in what form your Angel will appear.

Mercandbeth - I had imagined that, being the busiest gal in the room, since I would think that would make you happy, serving, but probably not everyone feels that way and also, not being a slave but a submissive, until you are owned, that makes perfect sense to me, you can't really be a slave without an owner, but you can identify as a slave to be, like UniqueRaven said.

Aileen - This response seems to be the other side of it, you can see by your response that you identify as His slave, not a slave. Different mind-set I think.

Off to find more answers.

(in reply to UniqueRaven)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Question for Slaves - 4/7/2010 1:55:36 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkyfetishlife

Aileen - This response seems to be the other side of it, you can see by your response that you identify as His slave, not a slave. Different mind-set I think.


Bingo.

_____________________________



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Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Question for Slaves - 4/7/2010 1:57:29 PM   
HisEvelyn


Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkyfetishlife

I'm curious about a few Slave issues.

1. If you identify as a slave, then do you interract with everyone in that way, I don't mean at the mall, I mean anyone involved in this lifestyle? I guess this question would go for a slave that is not owned.

If you were at an event for example and someone who identified as Dominant, male or female, started telling you what to do, do you listen?
Do you say, I'm not your slave? Does it depend on your attraction to that person? Does it depend on their gender?


The Master I serve now is the first true experience I have had in this lifestyle. However, with what I have learned from both him and these boards over the months of my servitude, as well as what I have learned about myself? I would not submit to just anyone if I chose to go to an event as an unowned girl. I am naturally very polite and friendly, so I would be respectful, however. And if I were to meet a dominant that I felt I clicked with? As the event went on, I may show more respect and interest by offering to serve in small ways (getting a drink, etc).

For those I did not know or whom felt like ordering me about out of the blue? I would likely politely decline to do such. I personally need at least some sort of connection before I can submit to a person. I'm just not the type of girl who can do casual play just for fun.

quote:


2. Do slaves have hard limits? This is a very general question to ask an entire group of people, some may, some may not, but overall, wouldn't the limit itself make you submissive and not a slave?


I personally do have some hard limits. But these are not limits simply because I want to be difficult or sassy. They are limits because these things go beyond my ability to safely and sanely experience them without major trauma to either my mind or my body. As I spend more time with my Master, and the trust between us grows? My limits are beginning to fall away, because as he comes to know me better, he also learns how far he can push me without damaging me seriously. As time goes on, I am slowly passing that power to him, and allowing him to do as he pleases with more regularity. Because I am learning to trust that he does NOT want to hurt me in a negative way, it's not fun for him to do so.

quote:


I am curious about the Master or Mistress/Slave dynamic, since obviously, no one is really a slave, at anytime, you could say, I don't want to do this anymore and take a walk. Plus, it's always been my belief that the Submissives/Slaves actually have all the power (power may not be the right word), anything done to you against your will now turns into a real life abusive relationship which you should run from. So it comes down to, you may lose your Master or Mistress if you don't obey, or catch a beating that you don't really want or some other form of punishement, but the punishment is still agreed upon at some point in the relationship.

I totally understand submissives, actually, there seem to be more submissives than Dominants, I understand why this is. But, the slave mind-set is a bit lost on me and I really am interested in the concept, not because I want to be one, but because I may want one when I feel I am ready, is there a store? Just kidding. Seriously, I do want to understand and may have more questions, one thing at a time.

I appreciate any help.


As others have said, for me it would not be so simple as simply deciding to 'take a walk'. To submit to my Master fulfills a deep need in me, and makes me feel complete as a person. To turn over control and power to him makes me feel stronger, more confident, and better prepared to tackle life. It sates my very core to devote my energy to ensuring the pleasure and happiness of my Master. Even when I am not terribly in the mood for whatever it is he wishes me to do, simply knowing that obeying will please him is usually enough to flip my mood from 'eh, whatever' to an enthusiastic 'yes, sir!'

Also, again there is that trust. Master trusts me to be there for him, kneeling at his feet, just as much as I trust him to cherish my body and mind, and handle them with sufficient care. It is a committment I have made to him, and to just walk away would be extremely difficult. If something were to happen where he hurt me? I would want to discuss it, want to know his reasoning. He is not obligated to discuss it, but I know he would, simply so I would understand his thoughts and actions. Communication is so important, and no one is perfect. Mistakes will be made.

I have no more power in this dynamic than he does. It would be very painful for either of us to end it.

(in reply to kinkyfetishlife)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Question for Slaves - 4/7/2010 2:32:49 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkyfetishlife
1. If you identify as a slave, then do you interract with everyone in that way, I don't mean at the mall, I mean anyone involved in this lifestyle? I guess this question would go for a slave that is not owned.


No.  Only in the same way that I don't go 'Hi, I'm a female' or 'Hi, I'm almost divorced'.

quote:

If you were at an event for example and someone who identified as Dominant, male or female, started telling you what to do, do you listen?

I listen to everyone who takes the time to speak to me.
quote:

Do you say, I'm not your slave?

No.  That would be rude.  I would however, tell them that their behaviour was inappropriate.
quote:

 Does it depend on your attraction to that person?

No.
quote:

Does it depend on their gender?

No.

quote:

2. Do slaves have hard limits? This is a very general question to ask an entire group of people, some may, some may not, but overall, wouldn't the limit itself make you submissive and not a slave?

Some do some do not.  Limits or no limits does not a slave make.

quote:

I am curious about the Master or Mistress/Slave dynamic, since obviously, no one is really a slave, at anytime, you could say, I don't want to do this anymore and take a walk. Plus, it's always been my belief that the Submissives/Slaves actually have all the power (power may not be the right word), anything done to you against your will now turns into a real life abusive relationship which you should run from. So it comes down to, you may lose your Master or Mistress if you don't obey, or catch a beating that you don't really want or some other form of punishement, but the punishment is still agreed upon at some point in the relationship.


That old chestnut again?  Master is in authority.  End of.  Not all Ms dynamics include punishments dynamics - that is a myth.  Master has zero intent to punish and accepted me as his based on this and I understood that from the very start.  It's basically, I either obey or I don't.  If I don't, then I am not his slave.  That has nothing to do with who has all the power, that is just how it is.  We do not exchange power, He defined the authority.

quote:

I totally understand submissives, actually, there seem to be more submissives than Dominants, I understand why this is. But, the slave mind-set is a bit lost on me and I really am interested in the concept, not because I want to be one, but because I may want one when I feel I am ready, is there a store? Just kidding. Seriously, I do want to understand and may have more questions, one thing at a time.


Slaves are people too.  We aren't some magical beings.  I am me and I belong to Master.  It does not get any easier or simply defined as that.  The minute I disobey, I am not his.  The End.

the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Question for Slaves - 4/7/2010 3:39:24 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkyfetishlife

UniqueRaven - Your response was very helpful, since your perspective is from a slave that is not owned and I appreciate it very much. It brings up other questions though, as I hoped the responses would.

You said, "What form of slavery you practice".

Of course, now I want to know what forms there are. But, I won't ask that here, I'll wait till I can be more specific. I'll look around on this board as you suggested and see what I can find.

I agree that everyone should do what works best for them and believe that people find their own relationship dynamic, the one that fits them best, it should be a process, a work in progress, which is why I hate to define the relationship I'm looking for in too much detail. You just never know in what form your Angel will appear.

Off to find more answers.


You're welcome. Please feel free to message me directly as well if there are any questions i could help with.

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to kinkyfetishlife)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Question for Slaves - 4/7/2010 3:56:44 PM   
DWCskitten


Posts: 199
Joined: 3/2/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkyfetishlife
1. If you identify as a slave, then do you interract with everyone in that way, I don't mean at the mall, I mean anyone involved in this lifestyle? I guess this question would go for a slave that is not owned.

i am Owned, but whether i were Owned or not, i would be respectful to Everyone but submit to No One unless He were my Owner or Someone my Owner wanted me to submit to.
quote:


If you were at an event for example and someone who identified as Dominant, male or female, started telling you what to do, do you listen?
Do you say, I'm not your slave? Does it depend on your attraction to that person? Does it depend on their gender?

i would be respectful to Them and consider what They have to say, regardless of gender. i would do my best to help Them in whatever i could, but i would not actually submit to Them unless my Owner told me to.
quote:


2. Do slaves have hard limits? This is a very general question to ask an entire group of people, some may, some may not, but overall, wouldn't the limit itself make you submissive and not a slave?

Yes, i did have hard limits, but when i became Owned, any limits i might have are HIS hard limits. i no longer have any of my own.
quote:


I am curious about the Master or Mistress/Slave dynamic, since obviously, no one is really a slave, at anytime, you could say, I don't want to do this anymore and take a walk. Plus, it's always been my belief that the Submissives/Slaves actually have all the power (power may not be the right word), anything done to you against your will now turns into a real life abusive relationship which you should run from. So it comes down to, you may lose your Master or Mistress if you don't obey, or catch a beating that you don't really want or some other form of punishement, but the punishment is still agreed upon at some point in the relationship.

Dominants can also say "I don't want to do this anymore" and walk. Of course, if a slave or sub misbehaves too much, they may be released and no longer belong to that Dominant. i don't subscribe to the idea that the slave/sub has more power because they can "walk" because Dominants can too. subs/slaves can, however, claim abuse when it was consensual, but that would be playing dirty and lacks integrity and honesty. For myself, i consider that i consented once when i became His property and now i have no more choices. All the choices are His and my consent at the beginning covers everything that comes after.
quote:


I totally understand submissives, actually, there seem to be more submissives than Dominants, I understand why this is. But, the slave mind-set is a bit lost on me and I really am interested in the concept, not because I want to be one, but because I may want one when I feel I am ready, is there a store? Just kidding. Seriously, I do want to understand and may have more questions, one thing at a time.

Just like there are more than one specific kind of D/s dynamic, i'm sure there are more than one specific kind of M/s dynamic. It would take awhile to explain Master Sir's & my dynamic, but basically (1)He has all the authority, (2)i can have opinions but what He says "goes," (3)there are certain things i can fuck up so badly that i will get released for but (4) most other things i will get punished for. Before it all sounds negative, (5) W/we do love each other and (6) i can also receive rewards for good behavior. It's just hard to put into a few words.....


~kitten~

_____________________________

formerly sweetsub1957.

New beginnings...my first poly relationship.

Proudly Owned property of MasterDWC.


(in reply to kinkyfetishlife)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Question for Slaves - 4/7/2010 4:00:24 PM   
kanina


Posts: 147
Joined: 11/19/2009
Status: offline 		1 - I, like someone said, am a person's slave not everyone elses... being so i do not treat everybody like my owner but as equals...  and i do not obey just who i want to...

2 - i personaly don´t have in fact limits because i know myself, when i sometimes say that i do not do something to myself if an owner, tells me to i would end up doing it  

and when the OP said that no one is really a slave he is wright according to the law we are all equal and with the same rights, i guess was what he meant...



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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Question for Slaves - 4/7/2010 4:09:59 PM   
allyC


Posts: 778
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkyfetishlife

If you were at an event for example and someone who identified as Dominant, male or female, started telling you what to do, do you listen?
Do you say, I'm not your slave? Does it depend on your attraction to that person? Does it depend on their gender?.
 It would depend on the setting, the people involved, etc. If I were in the home of my owner's friends and they told me what to do, I'd do it.   If I were in a Gorean setting, than I would obey.   If I were amongst strangers, than I would probably react differently depending on the command, the people involved, etc. Being owned, however, how I would serve (or not serve) would entirely depend on the behavior expected from me by my owner. For me, submission is a reaction to someone's influence.  If I were unowned and someone inspired me by their presence, actions, words, etc. to obey, then I probably would.  If they didn't, I probably wouldn't.   While gender probably wouldn't play a role in the issue, I do find that I react more submissively to men than to women.


quote:

2. Do slaves have hard limits? This is a very general question to ask an entire group of people, some may, some may not, but overall, wouldn't the limit itself make you submissive and not a slave?.
 I am of the belief that everyone has hard limits.  BUT... if you are owned by someone who you trust implicitly, than you usually don't need to worry about being commanded to rob a bank etc. I am sure that I have limits.  I am sure there are things that I just could not do, however, being on the path of enslavement beneath someone with impeccable integrity I generally don't ever think about what I wouldn't do.  I am fortunate to be able to focus on him without being afraid that he'll tell me to do something stupid, harmful, or crazy.

One of the constants of the relationship I am in is this:  As long as I remain in his collar, my limits will be defined by him, period. 
quote:

I am curious about the Master or Mistress/Slave dynamic, since obviously, no one is really a slave, at anytime, you could say, I don't want to do this anymore and take a walk. .
 Ahhh - Trust me when I say that the ability to say "I don't want to do this" and to walk away are greatly inhibited when one is mastered and enslaved.  For some, that ability may even appear to be non existant.  I know that even the thought of saying/doing that seems completely foreign to me now.
I think that it all boils down to the individual, their experiences, and their reactions.  Every slave is different and reacts differently. If you are ever interested in discussing the concept of slavery, enslavement, and/or living as a slave I would be happy to talk with you.  Just Cmail me on the flipside.  :) Well wishes, Cav's ally

(in reply to kinkyfetishlife)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Question for Slaves - 4/7/2010 5:13:52 PM   
kinkyfetishlife


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/23/2010
Status: offline 		Again, I really do appreciate the intelligent, very helpful responses & the offers to discuss this with me.

I think it's the term slave, the word itself that has caused my confusion to begin with, it's just my life experience that the term was always submissive, with various levels of that, I've never gotten this far where the slave level was even a thought, now, it is important to me that I am well informed.

When I say, you could walk away at anytime, yes, I mean, as an person with equal rights, you could leave, you do have that choice, I certainly did not mean to imply that it would be no big deal.

When I say, do you have limits, I certainly didn't mean anything like, robbing a bank, jumping off a bridge, hurting someone without their consent, etc. I just meant in the relationship, like, if you aren't bi and your Master/Mistress tells you to have sex with someone of the same sex or I guess if He or She tells you to have sex with anyone else, that could be an issue or pain limits, humiliation limits, things like that, you all answered the question anyway.

I am more intrigued now than I was when I started this post.

(in reply to allyC)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Question for Slaves - 4/7/2010 6:22:53 PM   
subboi3382


Posts: 379
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		1. I do mostly. i am not required to, but i am submissive and i let them take control of stuff, even if it just of the conversation

i do what they say regardless, unless my Master told me something different

2. i think slaves can have them and still be slaves. i dont really have any though
quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkyfetishlife

I'm curious about a few Slave issues.

1. If you identify as a slave, then do you interract with everyone in that way, I don't mean at the mall, I mean anyone involved in this lifestyle? I guess this question would go for a slave that is not owned.

If you were at an event for example and someone who identified as Dominant, male or female, started telling you what to do, do you listen?
Do you say, I'm not your slave? Does it depend on your attraction to that person? Does it depend on their gender?

2. Do slaves have hard limits? This is a very general question to ask an entire group of people, some may, some may not, but overall, wouldn't the limit itself make you submissive and not a slave?

I am curious about the Master or Mistress/Slave dynamic, since obviously, no one is really a slave, at anytime, you could say, I don't want to do this anymore and take a walk. Plus, it's always been my belief that the Submissives/Slaves actually have all the power (power may not be the right word), anything done to you against your will now turns into a real life abusive relationship which you should run from. So it comes down to, you may lose your Master or Mistress if you don't obey, or catch a beating that you don't really want or some other form of punishement, but the punishment is still agreed upon at some point in the relationship.

I totally understand submissives, actually, there seem to be more submissives than Dominants, I understand why this is. But, the slave mind-set is a bit lost on me and I really am interested in the concept, not because I want to be one, but because I may want one when I feel I am ready, is there a store? Just kidding. Seriously, I do want to understand and may have more questions, one thing at a time.

I appreciate any help.




(in reply to kinkyfetishlife)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Question for Slaves - 4/7/2010 6:47:55 PM   
Phoenix73Sir


Posts: 139
Joined: 4/2/2010
From: Northants, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkyfetishlife

Again, I really do appreciate the intelligent, very helpful responses & the offers to discuss this with me.

I think it's the term slave, the word itself that has caused my confusion to begin with, it's just my life experience that the term was always submissive, with various levels of that, I've never gotten this far where the slave level was even a thought, now, it is important to me that I am well informed.

When I say, you could walk away at anytime, yes, I mean, as an person with equal rights, you could leave, you do have that choice, I certainly did not mean to imply that it would be no big deal.

When I say, do you have limits, I certainly didn't mean anything like, robbing a bank, jumping off a bridge, hurting someone without their consent, etc. I just meant in the relationship, like, if you aren't bi and your Master/Mistress tells you to have sex with someone of the same sex or I guess if He or She tells you to have sex with anyone else, that could be an issue or pain limits, humiliation limits, things like that, you all answered the question anyway.

I am more intrigued now than I was when I started this post.


I ahree it is a topic full of intrigue, twists and turns.  I am on the opposite end of the spectrum for you.. I am a Dom getting readt to take on his first full time slave and this board answers mant questions but raises more... it's a lifetime discovery anbd even then you don't learn it all.

(in reply to kinkyfetishlife)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Question for Slaves - 4/7/2010 7:02:50 PM   
allyC


Posts: 778
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkyfetishlife 
When I say, you could walk away at anytime, yes, I mean, as an person with equal rights, you could leave, you do have that choice, I certainly did not mean to imply that it would be no big deal.
 I agree that we all have the right, etc... but enslavement is not necessarily a legal or tangible thing.  The term itself doesn't require anything other than being abjectly subservient to a dominating influence or force. So with that said, for some it could be more than a big deal - it could absolutely feel, seem, appear, and present itself as being something impossible.   There are many examples in life that demonstrate a person's inability to leave a situation, even though physically they could walk right out the door.  For someone who is deeply enslaved to another, that could very well be the case.   Going through a divorce with my ex husband was a big deal.  It was difficult, trying, emotional, and it took a toll on my every day life, however, it was something that seemed reachable and possible.  Hire attorney, file documents, go to court, etc.   On the other hand, leaving my owner seems nearly insurmountable.  There is this thread, you see - it is firmly anchored in the deepest part of my psyche and if you follow it, he is at the other end, holding it.  It is this invisible tie - this utter dependence on him for validation and purpose that makes the concept of leaving appear to be a non option.

quote:

When I say, do you have limits, I certainly didn't mean anything like, robbing a bank, jumping off a bridge, hurting someone without their consent, etc. I just meant in the relationship, like, if you aren't bi and your Master/Mistress tells you to have sex with someone of the same sex or I guess if He or She tells you to have sex with anyone else, that could be an issue or pain limits, humiliation limits, things like that, you all answered the question anyway.
 Well there is a broad spectrum :)  I just went to the extreme to demonstrate  a point.  But... when it comes to my comfort (i.e. level of pain, etc), humiliation, sexuality, etc., I do not have the right, as long as I wear this collar, to draw a line at how much I want, will take, will do, or will not do.  He has ultimate authority in that area.  I didn't sign on for anything less. 

quote:

I am more intrigued now than I was when I started this post.
   Woo hoo! Cav's ally

(in reply to kinkyfetishlife)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Question for Slaves - 4/7/2010 7:05:56 PM   
alhamdullilah


Posts: 81
Joined: 2/18/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allyC

quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkyfetishlife

If you were at an event for example and someone who identified as Dominant, male or female, started telling you what to do, do you listen?
Do you say, I'm not your slave? Does it depend on your attraction to that person? Does it depend on their gender?.
 It would depend on the setting, the people involved, etc. If I were in the home of my owner's friends and they told me what to do, I'd do it. Check.  If I were in a Gorean setting, than I would obey. Check. If I were amongst strangers, than I would probably react differently depending on the command, the people involved, etc.Check. Being owned, however, if I were/when I amhow I would serve (or not serve) would entirely depend on the behavior expected from me by my owner.Check. For me, submission is a reaction to someone's influence.  If I were unowned and someone inspired me by their presence, actions, words, etc. to obey, then I probably would.  If they didn't, I probably wouldn't. This is a very accurate statement for me regarding my interactions with the world at large. Just not sure if that's what ally meant.  While gender probably wouldn't play a role in the issue, I do find that I react more submissively to men than to women. Check...but my reaction to dominant women is perhaps not less, albeit rather different. There's a little humiliation factor added in when I submit to a woman. Hadn't thought about it until now but, yeah.


quote:

2. Do slaves have hard limits? .... .... Most succinctly, I agree with the following:
One of the constants of the any relationship I am in is this:  As long as I remain in his collar, my limits will be defined by him, period. 

quote:

I am curious about the Master or Mistress/Slave dynamic, since obviously, no one is really a slave, at anytime, you could say, I don't want to do this anymore and take a walk. .
 Ahhh - Trust me when I say that the ability to say "I don't want to do this" and to walk away are greatly inhibited when one is mastered and enslaved.  For some, that ability may even appear to be non existant.  I know that even the thought of saying/doing that seems completely foreign to me now.I fully agree with ally here but would add that I don't believe remaining the owner of one's ability to choose - rather like a possession, while having relinquished it to the one who owns me, as all that I possess becomes his, negates my slavery. In fact, can you see how it serves to exemplify it?


Thanks, allyC. That required a lot less typing! :)
-llilah

(in reply to allyC)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Question for Slaves - 4/7/2010 7:35:59 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I am just me with everyone whether they call themselves a dom or sub. I am not their slave. I am only a slave to one. To everyone else I'm just another human being...unless Master requires otherwise.


My limits are Master's limits. When we first started getting to know each other our limits matched so it became a null and void issue.

I became His slave because I don't pick and choose what I will submit to. I don't walk away just because he does something to me that I don't enjoy. I don't get a choice. I don't walk away when things get tough.

I obey.


(in reply to alhamdullilah)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Question for Slaves - 4/7/2010 8:48:29 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		1. If you identify as a slave, then do you interract with everyone in that way, I don't mean at the mall, I mean anyone involved in this lifestyle? I guess this question would go for a slave that is not owned.
Carol interacts with the entire world from a submissive standpoint -- including the mall. I cannot conceive of how anyone could be what I think of as a slave to the whole world.

If you were at an event for example and someone who identified as Dominant, male or female, started telling you what to do, do you listen?
Do you say, I'm not your slave? Does it depend on your attraction to that person? Does it depend on their gender?
Carol would submit to anyone who didn't ask anything too outrageous ... see above. She wouldn't see it as "submitting", she'd see it as "being nice".

2. Do slaves have hard limits? This is a very general question to ask an entire group of people, some may, some may not, but overall, wouldn't the limit itself make you submissive and not a slave?Whether or not they want to admit it, everyone has hard limits. The question in my mind are whether those limits are anything that I would care about. About the only "limits" that I think of as acceptable in Carol are things that would reasonably appear in the next Saw movie. But since I'm not planning on becoming a psychopathic mass murderer any time soon, I can let those slide *chuckles*

I am curious about the Master or Mistress/Slave dynamic, since obviously, no one is really a slave, at anytime, you could say, I don't want to do this anymore and take a walk. Plus, it's always been my belief that the Submissives/Slaves actually have all the power (power may not be the right word), anything done to you against your will now turns into a real life abusive relationship which you should run from. So it comes down to, you may lose your Master or Mistress if you don't obey, or catch a beating that you don't really want or some other form of punishment, but the punishment is still agreed upon at some point in the relationship.
I would say this indicates a real lack of understanding of the potential for M/s.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to kinkyfetishlife)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Question for Slaves - 4/7/2010 8:59:05 PM   
kinkyfetishlife


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/23/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
I would say this indicates a real lack of understanding of the potential for M/s.


Ok, why? Is she not free to leave? As I said above, I understand this may be difficult, heartbreaking, all of the emotions you would expect when a relationship such as that ends, but she is in the relationship by choice.

My lack of understanding is a fact and the reason for the post.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 20
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