Acer49
Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
This topic has been inspired through a conversation with a friend.
That conversation was about people in this lifestyle threatening to leave their relationship if the sub didn’t come up to shape.
We hear a lot of ‘keep getting that wrong and your out’, ‘Not submissive enough and your out’ and so on.
This topic isn’t really aimed at people who meet once a week for a bit of D/s BDSM interaction.
Its based on a full on relationship, a couple that are going at this long term or with the intention of long term.
I know that we recently had a topic titled 'One Strike and your out' or something like that! and that veered very much towards what 'one strike' actually meant. This is more about trusting and building a relationship under the shadow of being thrown away if you don't live up to D/s expectations.
Can a sub wholly trust her man if she sees him keeping one foot out of the door?
People fall in love, what then? is the importance of her submission more important than your relationship? You may say it is but if you are really in love then I personally find that very hard to believe. Is it her submission alone that made you fall in love or is there a thousand other things about her that if submission failed you would still have 999 things to celebrate? If her submission hit problems or just needed a break, would you have one foot out of the door?
My ten cents worth: If a relationship is based purely on a D/s dynamic and not allowed to grow beyond that, if that D/s dynamic dwindles then there is little left but then there was never much there in the first place.
Any relationship starts with roots. Those initial roots may be based around D/s and from those roots grows a firm stem. The stem then grows branches in many directions and those branches eventually blossom.
When I see ‘relationships’ with a whole load of trust but ‘one foot out of the door’ I just see a stem that has no branches.
Can a sub wholly trust her man if she sees him keeping one foot out of the door? No
People fall in love, what then? is the importance of her submission more important than your relationship? Each person is different. I prefer a submissive who submits because I have inspired her to do so, not because she loves me. Finding the right submissive does not guarantee I will find love, If I do, fine, but it is not a requirement. If I wanted a lover or a wife, I would go to the appropriate site to do so
Is it her submission alone that made you fall in love or is there a thousand other things about her that if submission failed you would still have 999 things to celebrate? Again, submission does not guarantee love. If I do fall in love it is because of the person she is, her submission is not a relevant factor
My ten cents worth: If a relationship is based purely on a D/s dynamic and not allowed to grow beyond that, if that D/s dynamic dwindles then there is little left but then there was never much there in the first place. That depends on the people involved and the depth of their dynamic. Not everyone believes that D/s is just kinky sex and playtime activities. There are some who are actually much deeper than that, who are capable of very deep emotions
When I see ‘relationships’ with a whole load of trust but ‘one foot out of the door’ I just see a stem that has no branches. I would have a hard time believing someone had trust and also had one foot out the door
_____________________________
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein
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RE: One foot out of the door. - 
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