Not Wanted !?! WTF (Full Version)

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Aneirin -> Not Wanted !?! WTF (4/9/2010 7:11:28 PM)

On the day Obama of the USA and  Medvedev of Russia signed their historic nuclear arms reduction agreement, this happens ;

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20100409/twl-unwanted-adopted-boy-sent-back-to-ru-3fd0ae9.html

Only 6 months of adoption and that was enough for the kid to be sent home with only a note to say he was not good enough for adoption. What is this, design a kid scenario ?



Real0ne -> RE: Not Wanted !?! WTF (4/9/2010 7:23:03 PM)



Hmm look at that....sounds just like america!

quote:

Artyom is an only-child, whose only known relative - his birth mother - was relieved of her motherhood rights in 2008.


I guess its a much smaller world than I thought.






Kirata -> RE: Not Wanted !?! WTF (4/9/2010 8:32:19 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

Only 6 months of adoption and that was enough for the kid to be sent home with only a note to say he was not good enough for adoption. What is this, design a kid scenario ?

Here's the full AP story.

K.



TheHeretic -> RE: Not Wanted !?! WTF (4/9/2010 8:35:48 PM)

This thread should be deleted.



bluefireeyez -> RE: Not Wanted !?! WTF (4/9/2010 8:56:26 PM)

Whether people want to hear it or not, failed adoptions are a big problem all around...not just between the United States and Russia. Reactive Attachment Disorder surfaced after Russian children began to be adopted into Amerian homes. Because they were not given care on a regular basis as a baby/young child, they had very severe behaviors.

While it is the worker's responsibility to make sure that all behaviors and known psychological issues are made known, it is the adoptive parent's job to care for the child's best interest. What that parent did was completely unacceptable.



TheHeretic -> RE: Not Wanted !?! WTF (4/9/2010 9:00:21 PM)

It's a TOS violation. It has nothing to do with whether people want to hear it or not, Blue. Nor anything to do with free speech. I saw the article today also, and thought it was a horrible thing, but conversations about children adopted overseas, on an adult kink site that is open to the public???




LadyEllen -> RE: Not Wanted !?! WTF (4/9/2010 9:58:04 PM)

Didnt this subject come up in the Haiti earthquake threads though? Not that I know for sure, I just suspect and cant be bothered to go check

E



WyldHrt -> RE: Not Wanted !?! WTF (4/9/2010 11:23:39 PM)

quote:

It's a TOS violation.

I'm sure one of the mods will clarify, but I don't think so. The rules about this were relaxed awhile back, and many Off Topic threads about children have been allowed. It is a TOS violation to mention children in any way that could be construed as pedo (as it should be), but this one doesn't fit the criteria IMO.
quote:

It has nothing to do with whether people want to hear it or not, Blue. Nor anything to do with free speech. I saw the article today also, and thought it was a horrible thing, but conversations about children adopted overseas, on an adult kink site that is open to the public???

This I don't understand. Yes, CM is an adult kink site. That said, there are specific sections (this being one of them) where members discuss everything under the sun, just like they do on nearly every other forum I've ever been on. I don't really see what this site being open to the public has to do with it. We talk kink here, sure, but we also discuss vacations, swap recipes, argue politics/ religion, help fellow members going through tough times, joke, laugh, and yes, even discuss parenting and current events, just like everyone else.

As to the OP, the adoptive "mother" needs to be found and prosecuted for child abandonment and any other appropriate charges. If there were issues that she couldn't manage, she should have gone through proper channels to get help with them. What she did was completely disgusting. 



Real0ne -> RE: Not Wanted !?! WTF (4/9/2010 11:49:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic

It's a TOS violation. It has nothing to do with whether people want to hear it or not, Blue. Nor anything to do with free speech. I saw the article today also, and thought it was a horrible thing, but conversations about children adopted overseas, on an adult kink site that is open to the public???





ok so you are against free speech because it is a kink site.

noted




TheHeretic -> RE: Not Wanted !?! WTF (4/9/2010 11:57:56 PM)

You can note it on the same page where you have theories based on not knowing the difference between a WWII bomber, and a modern, intercontinental jet, Real. [8|]




Silentrunner26 -> RE: Not Wanted !?! WTF (4/10/2010 12:54:26 AM)

The things I want to do to that woman make me worry about myself .



Silentrunner26 -> RE: Not Wanted !?! WTF (4/10/2010 1:00:31 AM)

NO matter how bad my day is no matter who pissed me off or why I can log on start reading and see " MotherFUCKER is not a safe word " and people will look at me like I have lost my mind because of how hard I laugh . Many have read that and said "I don't get it " . It only makes it worse .



jbcurious -> RE: Not Wanted !?! WTF (4/10/2010 1:25:38 AM)

While I don't like the manner in which it was handled... I think the end result is probably what is best for the child. I would be looking at the agency that placed a child, in what to me is, an unsuitable environment.

How does a young single working woman in a stressful job like nursing give the proper care to a child with special needs...especially if the parental bound isn't there? Many people who give birth to a child find it very difficult.

The entire adoption process is rift with problems and in an attempt to place kids with special needs into homes, I believe the proper screening and the feasibility of home situations is, at times, overlooked.

While I understand the immediate reaction to the horrible woman who did such a thing... I believe the child is better off out of her hands.



WyldHrt -> RE: Not Wanted !?! WTF (4/10/2010 1:57:04 AM)

quote:

NO matter how bad my day is no matter who pissed me off or why I can log on start reading and see " MotherFUCKER is not a safe word " and people will look at me like I have lost my mind because of how hard I laugh .

You're welcome [:)] Cmail me if you want the full story behind that little gem, as it is off topic. [;)]



Termyn8or -> RE: Not Wanted !?! WTF (4/10/2010 1:59:43 AM)

FR

First of all I don't think the Mods will see this as a violation in this context. This is a real, nonsexual issue and is relevant to the specie of this area of the fora. In fact if it is seen as such, well sometimes when you are speeding on the highway and slow down a little too fast you get a ticket ..... Deleting this would be akin to continuing to use the acronym UM. Any askirtation (new word) like that can be seen as having something to hide, so let's just be upfront. If it gets deleted so it does.

Now on to my opinion at hand.

In my opinion the adoptive Parent should be charged with child endangerment at least. What if she were the birth Mother ? Now if there's one thing that's readily available in this country it's sperm, the ugliest broad in the world can get laid. So obviously she couldn't have her own. This may be difficult but there is another factor called adulthood.

Now have a look at the bigger picture. Over the years you have of course heard of cases where adopted kids, once grown go seek out their birth Parents and a plethora of regulations and bullshit impedes them from doing so. And they are looking for someone who abandoned them. Now we have laws in this country that if say, a teen gives birth out in the street, in so many hours or something the baby can be surrenderred AFAIK at a hospital or something anonymously. Where do you think these kids wind up ? At an orphanage of course. 

So we have the prom queens throwing babies in dumpsters so they enact this. OK, but wouldn't that mean that someone who wanted to adopt would look there first ? Whether perception or reality they most likely think most of these potential adoptees are defective in one way or another, and somehow their twisted thinking leads them to believe that thing are different in Russia or something like that. Either that or they don't qualify for a totally above board domestic adoption.

People like that seem to have a problem taking off the rose colored glasses. The very first thing a Parent does is loves unconditionally. Defects are not the kid's fault and it is your job as a birth Parent to help them though, no matter what. That applies whether or not the pregnancy was planned or wanted. To abdicate that responsibility to me is one of the most despicable things a human being can do, but they do it and as such there are plenty of adoptable kids all over the place.

But some people have this idea of planting flowers and gardens and going to the mall, and all this SHIT, not realizing the responsibility. Now while it is unreasonable to expect an adoptive Parent to have such a connection as a birth Parent, this kid has now been abandoned by both.

I know there are people on this board who have kids with serious problems, and it can be a fight every day just to survivem and make a little bit of progress with one who suffers from autism, cancer or what have you. Think how they might feel reading this.

Other live in la ti da land and will adopt a kid that's toilet trained so they don't have to change diapers. That's true. And maybe the forces of the universe judged them unfit to reproduce, because like I said is you can't find sperm in this country something is seriously wrong.

Actually now that I think of it that statement needs no prequalifier, the fact is THERE IS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG.

T 



WyldHrt -> RE: Not Wanted !?! WTF (4/10/2010 2:07:32 AM)

quote:

While I understand the immediate reaction to the horrible woman who did such a thing... I believe the child is better off out of her hands.

I completely agree with the second sentence, JB. That said, the damage this woman caused by her actions is, IMO, unforgivable.



Termyn8or -> RE: Not Wanted !?! WTF (4/10/2010 2:48:03 AM)

Wyld, you got in before my edit.

At any rate, I second that.

What if I were to adopt and find the kid to be violent ? Well then things change and steps must be taken. Those people who supposedly put the kids in cages, is it possible they had good reason ? What if every other aspect of their upbringing was perfect, but they had some mental problem that put others in fear of their lives ? I am not saying that's what happened, but when institutionalized certain behaviors can invoke such action with full approval of the government, as well as the people at large.

Again, that is not saying that is what happened there, but the possibility exists that in some cases it might be justifiable. In the best of circumstance kids will do crazy things because they know no better, when they are unbalanced it can get very ugly. So what if I were to adopt and catch the kid with a knife to my throat in the middle of the night ?

I would deal with it somehow. Because when I signed on the dotted line I meant it. When I sign I do my best, and I wouldn't return the kid like a defective toaster oven for warratry exchange. In other words, if you think you are ready to adopt, think about everything.

Now first of all the kid was abandoned in the first place, so that means is the really early exposure to the world was probably not good and will be hard to undo. Add to that the possibility of some inborne or otherwise congenital defect. With a physical problem you can get help from the gov, and that might be one rare instance where it is warranted. But Parenting is all about behavioral influence. Physical problems are just dealt with, the behavioral is where it's at, this is where you influence another, where you are supposed to prove your worth as a human being.

[transparent pause]

Now that I think of it, while I don't say it about anyone here, I think I may have figured out the problem. Someone who is 33 may have the mentality of a 15 year old. Did the Parenting classes of the last few decades exist before, in the last million years ? We have to have a school now to teach people how to raise kids ? Does that sound like a species that is evolving or devolving ?

T



jbcurious -> RE: Not Wanted !?! WTF (4/10/2010 3:12:56 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

While I understand the immediate reaction to the horrible woman who did such a thing... I believe the child is better off out of her hands.

I completely agree with the second sentence, JB. That said, the damage this woman caused by her actions is, IMO, unforgivable.




As are so many acts involving children... I grew up with foster babys my entire life...having 5 children of her own was never enough for my mother...those "less fortunate" always had a place in our home. From teen abandonment to FAS and heroin addicted babys... The truly heartbreaking thing was how many of these children were placed back with their biological parents.



Termyn8or -> RE: Not Wanted !?! WTF (4/10/2010 3:31:35 AM)

"heroin addicted babys"

Holy shit, I guess I hadn't thought of everything. That has got to be tough to deal with. This is a kid, and the first sensation they experience is a craving ? What would I do ? What's more, what if it was my kid and she took to the habit ? I can't just send my blood off like that. I would probably torture her to death, but the kid is not at fault, what happens then ?

I am no expert but I am not totally unaware here. You don't want them addicted to anything, even methadone or any heroin substitute, you don't want them dependent on anything the way I see it. So what now, feed them good and go through time and let it pass ? What if they won't eat ?

The prospect of that has rendered me speechless. Mark this day.

T



Politesub53 -> RE: Not Wanted !?! WTF (4/10/2010 4:01:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic

This thread should be deleted.


Why ?  Although you may find the topic disturbing it doesnt seem to break the TOS.



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