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RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? - 4/14/2010 12:30:00 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven
This is why i have a hard limit on serving Engineers. Hee hee! (just kidding)

LOLOLOL... touche. Honestly, probably a very sensible hard limit since us engineer types can be infuriating *laughs*

So this will be one of those times i will be unable to explain how i process things. i've done my best. But thank you for discussing it with me.
No worries Raven. I'm well aware that the way I conceptualize the world varies distinctly from how other people do. Carol, for instance, barely even uses concepts at all in favor of pictures and experiential thinking. I don't think there's a right or wrong here.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to UniqueRaven)

Post #: 61

RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? - 4/14/2010 1:00:36 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

probably a very sensible hard limit since us engineer types can be infuriating

*Grins

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
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http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 62

RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? - 4/14/2010 1:40:48 PM

TermsConditions

Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline

Delivered via courier rom the CM Archives:

Top 10 signs you might be submissive.

10. Your tired of answering to “bitch”, “little girl”, or “slave.” Pick one dammit!
9. It looks like you’re in Slytherin, but at last moment the Sorting Hat pops in a butt plug and sends you to Sissy House instead.
8. Checkmark on driver’s license next to “Bottom.” Top and Switch left blank.
7. You’re meeting with kinky friends and you notice everyone else is sitting in a chair, not on the floor.
6. Later at same gathering you notice everyone else has taken a turn sitting on you.
5. “Your turn now!” is much more scary to hear than you ever imagined it could be.
4. Looking in the mirror, you’re thinking TULS NIAP must be the Norwegian Guy that designed that cute collar round your neck.
3. Your new CM mailbox is full of heartfelt words of welcome from nice dominant folk just wanting to make you feel at home. Also, get on your knees now b****!
2. You have no idea what you’re going to do with all these clothespins…

And the number one sign you might be submissive…

You had to ask Sir’s permission before posting your question on the CM message board!

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to PravdaIsvestia)

Post #: 63

RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? - 4/14/2010 4:06:46 PM

lucylucy

Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PravdaIsvestia
So you call yourself a submissive or a slave? How do you define yourselves as such?

I feel peaceful and tranquil and satisfied when I submit to my Owner. My submission is physical (he owns my body and can do whatever he wants with it whenever he wants), emotional (I am completely honest and open with him and don't hold back anything, even if it would make me look like a better person to not admit that I have petty feelings sometimes), and philosophical (I think of myself as his property, I consider my actions as reflections of him). I obey him.

quote:

Who gave you that title?

It's not a title, it's a description, as slavekal pointed out. No one gave it to me. I didn't know I needed to be given the words I use to describe myself.

quote:

Why do most people who call themselves such actually behave like they are dominant and in control?

I'm not sure of the context you're thinking of here. Do you mean why do I have my own opinions? Why do I go to work everyday and pay my bills and care for my child? Why do I not take orders from anyone but my Owner?

Because I'm a responsible adult human.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to PravdaIsvestia)

Post #: 64

RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? - 4/14/2010 4:33:16 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

OK, so I'm genuinely curious... if someone has "surrendered", what exactly have they surrendered? If they are disobeying, then it is clearly not their personal authority (aka, "will") that they have surrendered. Can you define this "surrender" thing in practical terms?

Let me take a stab at this and turn your question around a bit. (All the thisismyopinion mumbling applies)
One can obey with gritted teeth, only do whatever is asked while never offering one iota extra. In that case, I am obedient, I am submitting ....but externally.
Surrender comes from the inside; letting go of expectations, feeling freed instead of fettered by my obedience.

< Message edited by catize -- 4/14/2010 4:37:58 PM >

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 65

RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? - 4/14/2010 5:01:59 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize
Let me take a stab at this and turn your question around a bit. (All the thisismyopinion mumbling applies)
One can obey with gritted teeth, only do whatever is asked while never offering one iota extra. In that case, I am obedient, I am submitting ....but externally.
Surrender comes from the inside; letting go of expectations, feeling freed instead of fettered by my obedience.

*nods* THAT makes total sense to me and in fact something I actively work on with Carol. The last thing I want is Carol gritting her teeth. I'd rather she just be my submissive wife if it was going to be a lifetime of "teeth gritting" for her.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 66

RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? - 4/14/2010 5:33:33 PM

DWCskitten

Posts: 199
Joined: 3/2/2010
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~
i was not the first person to give myself the "title" of submissive. Someone else was. Now i know that it fits and that i, in fact, AM submissive. i feel that i am because i like to please others and be controlled. However, when i'm not in a relationship, i control my own life. i am fully capable of doing so & will not give away that control to any Tom, Dick, or Harry Who really doesn't give one shit about me.

~kitten~

_____________________________

formerly sweetsub1957.

New beginnings...my first poly relationship.

Proudly Owned property of MasterDWC.

(in reply to DomMeinCT)

Post #: 67

RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? - 4/14/2010 8:10:51 PM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline

Because that is what I am. I have an innate need to submit, to serve, to be pleasing to the one I commit to.

Any vanilla relationship stifles me and makes me feel incomplete.

_____________________________

MasterK's whiteslavebitch

formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to PravdaIsvestia)

Post #: 68

RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? - 4/14/2010 10:02:39 PM

Smutmonger

Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline

Because they live rich fantasy lives man.

It's like being a Star Trek fan.

_____________________________

I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

(in reply to PravdaIsvestia)

Post #: 69

RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? - 4/14/2010 11:16:36 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

This question was just answered yesterday. Try the search function, OP- it works.

We are only submissive to those with whom we are in an agreed-upon D/s dynamic. Not everyone. Duh.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to PravdaIsvestia)

Post #: 70

RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? - 4/15/2010 3:54:52 AM

generalservant

Posts: 10
Joined: 3/24/2010
Status: offline

I am submissive but am also a slave. I cant help it because I was born with rarther than developed the mindset. So it is my birthright vocation and one that I am proud of and will never ever be anything else.

(in reply to DomMeinCT)

Post #: 71

RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? - 4/15/2010 5:55:28 AM

kadine

Posts: 14
Joined: 8/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

So you call yourself a submissive or a slave? How do you define yourselves as such? Who gave you that title? Why do most people who call themselves such actually behave like they are dominant and in control?

I don't assume to label anyone no matter what path they choose in life, or how they define that choice. I refer to myself as a slave because I want to make one choice, that choice being surrendering to a Master. Once that initial choice is made, all decisions are his to make in regards to my well being and how I may serve him to the best of my ability.

quote:

What kind of messed up life would I have if I were submissive in all aspects of my life? What kind of target would I be for abusers and those that wanted to take advantage... What kind of single mother would I have been, how could I run a business... if I am submissive in life?

jbcurious, I identify with some of what you say here. I'll go along with you as far as my being a target for those who would take advantage of my nature. I'm submissive in ALL aspects of my life. Shying away from confrontation of any kind in this society, as it pertains to me.
I'm a successful mother of two wonderful teens, both of whom are on the honor roll in school, and I support them and myself, alone.
While I cannot protect or defend myself, (the world is a scary place with mean people!) I will go to EVERY length to do so for another person that I care deeply about. Some people fulfill their lives and find strength by living alone, some marry, some are D/s, some are M/s, etc. I find that I reach fulfillment and gain strength and confidence by serving another with everything in me. :)

(in reply to PravdaIsvestia)

Post #: 72

RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? - 4/15/2010 6:58:44 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive?

the complete and utter absence of any innate ability or desire to control/be in authority over persons, relationships or sexual encounters coupled with a knee-jerk reaction, intense desire and extensive training to submit/surrender to/obey other persons, relationships and/or sexual encounters.

this slave isn't a leader, shot caller, controlling, dominant individual ~ and has absolutely no inclination to be, learn to be nor fake being one.

quote:

Why do most people who call themselves such actually behave like they are dominant and in control?

because not everyone perceives and experiences submission the same way...and not everyone desires or is wired for submission in every aspect of their lives/every relationship they are a part of/as a default reaction to the world in general.

some folks are inspired to submit extremely infrequently over the course of their lives...while others can't understand the need for some sort of je ne sais quoi/inspiration in order to submit ~ to them it's as free and easy as breathing air.

(in reply to PravdaIsvestia)

Post #: 73

RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? - 4/15/2010 8:52:50 AM

choccywoc

Posts: 1919
Joined: 9/7/2009
Status: offline

It's an interesting question, you're given a label, but don't always live up to that label. Life can take away our labels but it'll never take our freedom!

(in reply to PravdaIsvestia)

Post #: 74

RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? - 4/15/2010 10:45:39 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

OK, so I'm genuinely curious... if someone has "surrendered", what exactly have they surrendered? If they are disobeying, then it is clearly not their personal authority (aka, "will") that they have surrendered. Can you define this "surrender" thing in practical terms?

Let me take a stab at this and turn your question around a bit. (All the thisismyopinion mumbling applies)
One can obey with gritted teeth, only do whatever is asked while never offering one iota extra. In that case, I am obedient, I am submitting ....but externally.
Surrender comes from the inside; letting go of expectations, feeling freed instead of fettered by my obedience.

What catize wrote resonates with me. I don't have the time to do leadership's question justice, so I may have to come back later.

A couple weeks ago, I realized that I have internalized his opinions, thoughts, expectations, etc to the point where I don't know what is his and what is mine. Are my thoughts and opinions (especially in regards to relationships and the lifestyle) his that I have internalized or mine? I can't imagine doing something different than the way he would want it done.

I see my lack of expectations and that my will is so closely and almost completely aligned with his to be surrender. I am still me, but he is so much apart of who I am that I cannot seperate out those strands of which is him or me. For me, that is surrender.

Those are a few quick thoughts that I have on surrender and I think it woud make a really good thread all on its own. Back to work now.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 75

RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? - 4/20/2010 4:31:39 PM

trueshadow

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline

To be terribly crude, being submissive, thinking about submission, and remembering the various times when I've served a woman, it makes me hard.

I think that qualifies as telling me I am a slave. I fantasize about it, I'm on these pages discussing it, I go to munches to meet fellow practitioners of the dark arts, and I play at parties as a bottom.

OK?

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 76

RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? - 4/20/2010 4:38:41 PM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

~FR

I'm so submissive I

... don't even have control of my bladder.

(Bah dum dum)

hahaha that made me snort....and pee a lil bit too...

that aint funny!

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 77

RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? - 4/21/2010 9:34:09 AM

DickSteel

Posts: 148
Joined: 3/20/2010
From: Man of Mystery & Intrigue
Status: offline

Only people who put "Your all a bunch of assholes and wankers!" in their profile ask questions like this. The rest of us know the secret answer and if we told you, we would have to kill you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PravdaIsvestia

So you call yourself a submissive or a slave? How do you define yourselves as such? Who gave you that title? Why do most people who call themselves such actually behave like they are dominant and in control?

_____________________________

The man of steel is laughing with you, not at you.

(in reply to PravdaIsvestia)

Post #: 78

RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? - 4/21/2010 10:43:49 AM

RidiculedPiggy

Posts: 10
Joined: 4/13/2010
Status: offline

Now without reading what many others may reply being I don't wish for it to influence how I may answer being this could be a really complex or simple question..

My Simple Response: i am submissive because i like seeing others smile?

My Complex Reply: With myself as a child and even a teenager I always been compassionate about others, selfless, as a teenager I read romance novels, quickly felt like the heroines in the novels who may be strong to fight but in the end would submit their minds, hearts to their lover. In learning about BDSM, I quickly accepted myself into being a pet through my submission, even when I am unowned. I have been unowned for some time now, mainly being its hard to find the right person I can trust myself with completely but I know I would submit to as much as myself will allow me to. In the past I tried to switch however it was never through my own pleasure,it was to make others happy. I feel I am submissive because I choose to be. i could have made the same choice to be in control, but it doesn't make me happy. I choose to be at ones feet and lay out my submission, however I still need to find someone who accepts that from me, accepts my submission.

From what i read many subs like myself are strong in their outside life but submissive to one person, I learned when growing into who I am now, a submissive has to be strong, being if they aren't in control of themselves they would be walked all over and most people in today's world would take advantage of that. I learned even though I am submissive,it doesn't mean I am submissive to every being. Although ::Chuckles:: At times I feel like I am submissive to this particular computer

(in reply to PravdaIsvestia)

Post #: 79

RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? - 4/27/2010 7:25:38 PM

forsaken555

Posts: 39
Joined: 12/2/2009
Status: offline

The fact that there are bad and false doms out there and real sexual predators hulking within the bdsm scene, means that a sub needs to maintain some sort of self-preservation instincts, otherwise, fun and play may become non-consensual horror reality.

The problem is, many doms expect the sub to instantly trust them just because they are self-proclaimed doms, and when they find it hard to earn the sub's trust, they get annoyed and tell the sub, that they aren't being subs.

I think I am sub because I enjoy being ordered around, forced to do sexual acts and verbally abused and being spanked and slapped around. I know I am not a dom, because I don't enjoy telling people what to do, and I don't get a kick out of dominating them. Infact if I had to tell a dom what to do, I'd grow uninterested, but most of the time if I do, it springs from lack of trust, more than anything else.

< Message edited by forsaken555 -- 4/27/2010 7:28:40 PM >

(in reply to PravdaIsvestia)

Post #: 80

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