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Surprise! - 4/22/2010 10:24:13 AM

jbcurious

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s types... How comfortable are you providing a surprise for your D/M? Little things like acquiring a skill you think might please them, reading a book they´ve recently finished so you can discuss it, fixing a romantic dinner... the list could go on and on... If you do feel comfortable with this and have done so... please share the good ones as well as when it may have gone ohhhhh so wrong.

D/M types... How comfortable are you with your s type taking the initiative to do something to surprise you and what´s your response? If the surprise causes some inconvenience... ex. a surprise candlelit dinner when you have plans for the evening, how do you handle it?

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Post #: 1

RE: Surprise! - 4/22/2010 11:45:22 AM

VirginPotty

Posts: 11624
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From: Virginville
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He loves when I surprise him w/little things, like skills that he enjoys but I had trouble with or his favorite food, magazine, drink etc.
He doesn't like BIG surprises like surprise b'day parties, but little things that show I've been trying to better myself to make evenings more enjoyable for him he's all for!

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Post #: 2

RE: Surprise! - 4/22/2010 11:58:38 AM

dreamerdreaming

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Surprises, or "anticipatory service" would either irritate and annoy me, or really piss me off. I need and desire control, and obedience.

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Post #: 3

RE: Surprise! - 4/22/2010 12:09:07 PM

subsfaith

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Surprises are fine, secrets are not.

I surprise him all the time, a note in his packed lunch, a chocolate on his pillow... silly things mean a lot sometimes.

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Post #: 4

RE: Surprise! - 4/22/2010 12:47:30 PM

VirginPotty

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quote:

Surprises are fine, secrets are not.

Well said

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Post #: 5

RE: Surprise! - 4/22/2010 2:25:08 PM

elleX

Posts: 161
Joined: 10/24/2009
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the best way to please him is to take good care of me the best i can ,,, to be availaible each time he wants me to do
he is not romantic ,,,and thanks i am not either ,
elleX

(in reply to VirginPotty)

Post #: 6

RE: Surprise! - 4/22/2010 2:31:22 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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The problem with anticipatory service is that if he didn't want it, then he's likely to be annoyed that I did it. Natural enough when I've accidentally upset his plans. But that kind of reaction prevents me from doing it again since I seek to avoid that.

I'm more comfortable taking mental notes of what he likes and when, because then it's easier for me to get it right. Even so, I tend to ask if I'm unsure in the slightest. Tea or cold water or both? Sometimes I'll put out both so as not to interrupt to ask but usually I prefer to ask.

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Post #: 7

RE: Surprise! - 4/22/2010 3:46:30 PM

jbcurious

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I can see by most of the answers that initiative doesn't seem to be a very desirable trait in a sub... I'll have to be careful that I find a Dom who likes that in a sub.

_____________________________

'Smile... it's the second best thing to do with your lips.'

I have an explosive personality...

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 8

RE: Surprise! - 4/22/2010 4:29:37 PM

DarkSteven

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Initiative is fine, when it comes to taking care of something that needs to be done. But if it's a surprise for me that doesn't take my own preferences into account...

I had a sub who decided that since I was a Dom, I wanted her to shave. I didn't, and felt annoyed that she considered me a generic Dom instead of just me.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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Post #: 9

RE: Surprise! - 4/22/2010 4:54:26 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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I've surprised Master with little gifts and stuff. He's never complained so I'm going to assume he doesn't mind.

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Post #: 10

RE: Surprise! - 4/22/2010 5:19:42 PM

playfulotter

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Joined: 6/27/2005
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He likes when I am in his apartment waiting for him and I present him with the martini just the way he likes it...Also, we both love to cook but if he is too tired I surprise him. Also, we both love plants and I will bring him a plant to put on his balcony...Just the fact I am there waiting at his door when he comes in to kiss him is a big plus for him.....or so he told me recently..as I will be tomorrow early evening! Edited to add..he likes me to research restaurants we might want to visit we haven't been to before and I did that online today for two restaurants that sound good...

< Message edited by playfulotter -- 4/22/2010 5:26:09 PM >

(in reply to jbcurious)

Post #: 11

RE: Surprise! - 4/22/2010 5:29:38 PM

kallisto

Posts: 1185
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I think it depends on the Dom's wishes/wants and what he expects and needs. If putting a note in his lunch made him smile, then surprising him every once in a while with a note would be a good thing. If he wanted me to learn to cook something he especially liked and I wasn't very good at it, then learning to cook that meal (without being told to) and fixing it one night when he didn't know about it, would be a good "surprise". Throwing him a surprise birthday party when he has specifically said he didn't want one, would not be a good thing.

I think there is a big difference in taking initiative and "surprising" him.

(in reply to playfulotter)

Post #: 12

RE: Surprise! - 4/22/2010 5:30:14 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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I'm not a sub, I am a switch, bottom and a baby girl more than that, but as part of being a Daddies girl, I love and am quite comfortable in finding little ways, or big ways depends on the mood to surprise him.

Most recent suprise was finding a bunch of HP Love Craft items on ebay and buying them for him. My suprises always go over well* if well executed and they almost always are* cause I base them on things I know about him that he likes, or would appreciate, for example finding the book he used to have as a teenager and it was lost, or doing my very best to get as close to the item as possible if exactly it isn't possible.

The one time a surprise didn't go to well was cause I bit off to much in trying to clean his trailer, and then got so tired and in pain from my bad back that I had to call him up and admit I tried to clean up, got to ambitious and the place was a mess now. Even then he was still happy I tried to surprise him, and was very sweet about saying he'd clean the mess up when he got home, and I said I'd help.

And excuse me for speaking for Daddy but he aint on this site, but he loves me taking the initiative to surprise him, it also shows him I know him and his tastes and know what he'd like and what to stay away from. His responce is always to thank me and hug me and praise me for thinking of him. Sometimes he tells me I didn't have to and I say, no but I wanted to.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

s types... How comfortable are you providing a surprise for your D/M? If you do feel comfortable with this and have done so... please share the good ones as well as when it may have gone ohhhhh so wrong.

D/M types... How comfortable are you with your s type taking the initiative to do something to surprise you and what´s your response? If the surprise causes some inconvenience... ex. a surprise candlelit dinner when you have plans for the evening, how do you handle it?

(in reply to jbcurious)

Post #: 13

RE: Surprise! - 4/22/2010 5:42:01 PM

Andalusite

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Joined: 1/25/2009
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My Master generally enjoys anticipatory service. If I notice there are a couple of dirty dishes in the sink, the counter and microwave need to be wiped, or the bathroom could use a scrub, I just *do* it, rather than asking permission. If he has other plans for me, of course, I'll divert to whatever he has in mind. When he looks a bit tense, he almost always welcomes it if I rub his shoulders - if for some reason he's not in the mood, or I'm distracting him from something he needs to get done, he'll say so. I've brought over food, or stuff to make dinner before, and bought books by his favourite authors, and otherwise tried to give him things he'd enjoy or do nice things for him. He still has all of the authority, but he expects me to take the initiative to make his life easier, and praises me for it.

Sometimes I'll offer to do something for him, and he'll decide he'd rather do it himself, but I have a pretty good knowledge of what kinds of things he likes me to take care of, and when it's appropriate to ask first. I checked with him about the surprise dinner scenario, and he said that he'd probably just go ahead and eat, but if he had made plans with other people, or wasn't in the mood for that dish, we'd just put the food in the fridge and head out, no big deal.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 4/22/2010 6:41:34 PM >

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

Post #: 14

RE: Surprise! - 4/22/2010 6:23:56 PM

sweetsub1957

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Joined: 4/28/2009
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~Fast Reply~
When i was with my late Sir, i would surprise Him every so often.....with foods & desserts i knew He would love, and special gifts. He loved the surprises and i loved doing them. He said my sweet potato pie was as good as His mother's, and He loved the reins i got for Him. He also loved the full-body massages. :) i never had a negative outcome, as i carefully only did things that i knew He would love & that couldn't interfere with any plans He might have.

~sweetsub~

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In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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Post #: 15

RE: Surprise! - 4/22/2010 8:06:11 PM

AnimusRex

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Joined: 5/13/2006
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I enjoy it when Kim surprises me with something- in almost every case, she is able to anticipate my desires and needs, to where it seems like she knows what I want before I do.
Extremely delightful behavior!

Even if it isn't something kinky, just surprising me by greeting me at the door in a nighty, or having my favorite dinner ready- things that make a man feel loved and taken care of.

What makes it better is that there is no anticipation of reward- she is happy just to give, my satisfaction is what delights her.

Yeah, its good to be me.

(in reply to jbcurious)

Post #: 16

RE: Surprise! - 4/22/2010 10:09:38 PM

WyldHrt

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quote:

I can see by most of the answers that initiative doesn't seem to be a very desirable trait in a sub... I'll have to be careful that I find a Dom who likes that in a sub.

I saw something a bit different in the replies. While it (as always) boils down to the people involved in the relationship, it looks to me like many Dom/mes do like surprises, if they are well thought out and based on something the D has expressed interest in or desire for.

It seems to fall flat when the 'surprise' is something the sub wants for hirself, or something xhe thinks that "any Dom" would like, which isn't really, errrr.... surprising.

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Post #: 17

RE: Surprise! - 4/22/2010 11:18:42 PM

jbcurious

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Joined: 3/13/2010
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I think if you look at the examples I gave... I was talking about small things that cater to things you know he enjoys...

Re the surprise birthday scenario... I think that's a bad idea in any relationship

Anduluste...I like the way your master handled the dinner situation... If my timing is bad on something like this it's no big deal to put it on hold and do what he requires.

Thoughtful gestures is something I've always enjoyed doing for friends, family and mostly for my partner.

_____________________________

'Smile... it's the second best thing to do with your lips.'

I have an explosive personality...

(in reply to WyldHrt)

Post #: 18

RE: Surprise! - 4/23/2010 12:00:17 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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I'll cast my vote on the initiative side. As far as I'm concerned, I'd like ALL of Carol engaged in serving me... including her ability to anticipate my needs. It seems like such a trivial thing to correct her if she got it wrong.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to jbcurious)

Post #: 19

RE: Surprise! - 4/23/2010 12:21:38 AM

jbcurious

Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Initiative is fine, when it comes to taking care of something that needs to be done. But if it's a surprise for me that doesn't take my own preferences into account...

I had a sub who decided that since I was a Dom, I wanted her to shave. I didn't, and felt annoyed that she considered me a generic Dom instead of just me.

I can´t imagine anyone thinking you were generic Steven *bats eyelashes*

_____________________________

'Smile... it's the second best thing to do with your lips.'

I have an explosive personality...

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 20

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