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RE: Surprise! - 4/25/2010 9:08:35 AM

Aynne88

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Next life - I'm Aynee's lover. Yup.

What do you mean next life? John think's you are adorable and the offer to visit as loooong as you want to stands :)

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Post #: 41

RE: Surprise! - 4/25/2010 9:12:55 AM

sunshinemiss

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Ohhh ohhh ohhh... *blush blush blush* well... oh...

:: thud ::

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Post #: 42

RE: Surprise! - 4/25/2010 10:31:53 AM

UniqueRaven

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As a slave, my role is to serve and do as i'm told - i don't do "surprises." It is actually quite stressful because the pressure of trying to figure out something that might please my Owner - and possibly failing at it - is huge, and causes quite a mental tailspin for me.

i actually wrote about this in my blog a few days ago (shortlink http://wp.me/pRkk1-5J if anyone's interested). To paraphrase: as a slave i'm not here to read my Owner's mind, i'm here to obey.

i had a very interesting conversation with a potential Owner about this very thing. We even discussed things like his birthday, etc. His thought process is that i would ask if i could get him something for his birthday, and he would either give me money to go buy him something, or have me make him something personal. But it would be very clear, and the amount of actual "surprise" would be very small. He sees this as his role, and something that he enjoys a great deal, and for me it is very calm, and reassuring - that all i have to do to please him is do as i'm told, and simply be myself.

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Post #: 43

RE: Surprise! - 4/25/2010 11:04:28 AM

Icarys

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

As a slave, my role is to serve and do as i'm told - i don't do "surprises." It is actually quite stressful because the pressure of trying to figure out something that might please my Owner - and possibly failing at it - is huge, and causes quite a mental tailspin for me.

i actually wrote about this in my blog a few days ago (shortlink http://wp.me/pRkk1-5J if anyone's interested). To paraphrase: as a slave i'm not here to read my Owner's mind, i'm here to obey.

i had a very interesting conversation with a potential Owner about this very thing. We even discussed things like his birthday, etc. His thought process is that i would ask if i could get him something for his birthday, and he would either give me money to go buy him something, or have me make him something personal. But it would be very clear, and the amount of actual "surprise" would be very small. He sees this as his role, and something that he enjoys a great deal, and for me it is very calm, and reassuring - that all i have to do to please him is do as i'm told, and simply be myself.

I enjoy a huge amount of control in a relationship but there is room for her own creativity...at least on an occasional basis. I do encourage this because it brings us closer together and because I like things like that.

Although I'm looking for someone that's highly compliant, I also understand they are humans and may want to express themselves and to some people surprises are just fun.

I read your blog. I think sure..you have to be careful when going down the path we're talking about but to someone that has their mind where it's suppose to be..It shouldn't be a problem. Ya'know..making sure what your doing is about pleasing him and not a front for getting what you want.

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Post #: 44

RE: Surprise! - 4/25/2010 12:08:42 PM

littlewonder

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I think this comes down to how well you know each other.

I like to think I know Master pretty well. I pay attention to what he likes and dislikes. I know what will please him and what won't so doing things for him without it being ordered or asked usually isn't that big a problem for me.

I think always having to wait to be told what to do would be exhausting for him and more work instead of less. I want to make his life easier, not harder.

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Post #: 45

RE: Surprise! - 4/25/2010 12:18:34 PM

slaveluci

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious
s types... How comfortable are you providing a surprise for your D/M? Little things like acquiring a skill you think might please them, reading a book they´ve recently finished so you can discuss it, fixing a romantic dinner... the list could go on and on... If you do feel comfortable with this and have done so... please share the good ones as well as when it may have gone ohhhhh so wrong.

I am extremely comfortable doing so. I have acquired lots of new interests mainly so that we have them in common, including football and jazz. I have begun learning to play a certain musical instrument because He knew I had always wanted to. He bought me the instrument and sees that I practice. I love surprising Him by buying Him things I know He won't pick up for Himself, by fixing meals He doesn't specifically ask for that I know He loves, by getting books, movies and music together for Him that I know He'll love but doesn't necessarily have the time to look for, etc.

No matter what, He's always pleasantly surprised and pleased. He is so NOT a micro-manager. He wants me to please Him and He pretty much gives me free rein as to how to do so. He's never disappointed

luci

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Post #: 46

RE: Surprise! - 4/25/2010 12:22:12 PM

slaveluci

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

Surprises, or "anticipatory service" would either irritate and annoy me, or really piss me off. I need and desire control, and obedience.

"Anticipatory service" is exactly what Master desires that I offer Him. That's the term I neglected to use in my post above. He desires and gets obedience. But obedience to Him requires that He not have to be in total control of all decisions as to how to please Him. It's really interesting to me how many D-types want the same thing but they have so many differing ways of getting it. Variety is the spice of life!

luci

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RE: Surprise! - 4/25/2010 12:32:39 PM

slaveluci

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven
As a slave, my role is to serve and do as i'm told - i don't do "surprises." It is actually quite stressful because the pressure of trying to figure out something that might please my Owner - and possibly failing at it - is huge, and causes quite a mental tailspin for me.
i actually wrote about this in my blog a few days ago (shortlink http://wp.me/pRkk1-5J if anyone's interested). To paraphrase: as a slave i'm not here to read my Owner's mind, i'm here to obey.

What, if "as a slave" your role is indeed to do as you're "told" but you are told to sort of read your owner's mind? What if, in order to obey, you are to do your absolute best to anticipate what He wants without Him having to tell you every move to make? That's how it is for me. I am very much His slave and it's my job to obey Him in everything. That obedience involves reading His mind as far as it's possible in that I'm to know what He likes, what He would enjoy, and how to please Him. He in turn doesn't try to trip me up by rejecting something loving and pleasant I've done/made for Him just to keep me on my toes. It works well because I know His mind as much as another possibly can and He loves the initiative I display in doing my best to please Him

Being a slave...and a damn good and obedient and pleasing one...doesn't have to be mutually exclusive from "surprising" Him or doing what I think is pleasing. As a matter of fact, they are one and the same in His home...........luci

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 4/25/2010 12:33:15 PM >

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Post #: 48

RE: Surprise! - 4/25/2010 2:17:00 PM

Aynne88

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I think this comes down to how well you know each other.

I like to think I know Master pretty well. I pay attention to what he likes and dislikes. I know what will please him and what won't so doing things for him without it being ordered or asked usually isn't that big a problem for me.

I think always having to wait to be told what to do would be exhausting for him and more work instead of less. I want to make his life easier, not harder.

Yep me too, exactly that.

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As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

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Post #: 49

RE: Surprise! - 4/25/2010 2:48:22 PM

barelynangel

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quote:

I can see by most of the answers that initiative doesn't seem to be a very desirable trait in a sub... I'll have to be careful that I find a Dom who likes that in a sub.

I think you are mistaking "knowing what your Master likes or doesn't like" with lack of initiative.
To me, your indication that Men who aren't thrilled with a change in the "course he has set" and likes what he likes when he likes it don't "like" initiative to me is inaccurate. Initiative comes in all forms and its not always especilly in M/s a concept of surprise or hey Master look what i decided to do -- do you like it cause i think you should cause i thought to do it concept.

Having and wanting a slave's focus on the course of action he has in place is NOT the appreciation of lack of initiative, but to me may show perhaps a disapproval the non-focus of the slave to a course he has set she may not yet appreciate as his wants, desires, and expectations.

Some men like the deviation from what he has set as a course, but most Men i speak with don't. Its not that they don't like initiative they do very much but they enjoy the initiative of the slave to strive for the course of action he has already set for her. He may see her need to go outside that course as a need for her to control, rather than be comfortable with what he has decided.

angel

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RE: Surprise! - 4/25/2010 5:46:21 PM

PrimalConsonance

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I think it largely depends on one's Master's style and desires. If my Master sets a course for me I will certainly follow it, but often he will set a destination and leave the course to my own judgment. He enjoys my trying to please him by anticipating what I think he would like, and in that case if I miss the mark a little, that's OK too. It's not a matter of reading his mind really. Anticipatory service to me is about observing what pleases him, and filing that away for later use. He likes this, and that is, in our world, all that matters.

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RE: Surprise! - 4/25/2010 6:12:49 PM

sunshinemiss

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I am absolutely spot on when it comes to surprising people. I give the best gifts. It is a talent that I have. (this is not vanity, it is truth).

If someone didn't want that, they wouldn't be the one for me because they would want me to supress something that is joyful and would want me to give up a talent. Giving a surprise or a gift is about paying attention, giving love in a physical form, creating something to fill a longing or a void, to make life easier or more lovely for the other person.

It boils down to (like many things) how well you know the person, paying attention to the other person that is, and the intent behind the surprise.

best,
sunshine

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