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Do You Pursue if ... - 4/27/2010 11:53:26 AM   
LadyOddsworth


Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2010
Status: offline 		you meet a sub you are really taken with? Or, do you let him know of your interest and let it be? Personally, I don't like to pursue men, it doesn't feel right, but being the D, maybe I should take a more proactive approach with some of them.

What do you subs think?? Do you want to be "claimed"?

Thanks,

_____________________________

We all have baggage, the question is; Is it carry on or do you need a U-haul for it?

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RE: Do You Pursue if ... - 4/27/2010 12:08:32 PM   
GraciousLady


Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline 		Until a sub is owned they can do as they please. If I am interested I let my feelings be known and ask them if they would like to be considered. If they say yes then I take the lead and we both see if things will work or not.

(in reply to LadyOddsworth)
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RE: Do You Pursue if ... - 4/27/2010 1:21:24 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyOddsworth

maybe I should take a more proactive approach with some of them.


There are no "shoulds". Do what feels natural and comfortable for you. This way, when you DO find someone, you're basing the relationship on yourself, not a persona, right from the start.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to LadyOddsworth)
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RE: Do You Pursue if ... - 4/27/2010 1:49:22 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyOddsworth

you meet a sub you are really taken with? Or, do you let him know of your interest and let it be? Personally, I don't like to pursue men, it doesn't feel right, but being the D, maybe I should take a more proactive approach with some of them.

'Pursue' is quite a dramatic word-there's a middle ground between being a damsel up in a tower somewhere waiting for your shiny knight to call, and clubbing the nearest bandit over the head with a handy blunt object, piking his horse and making off like blue thunder in chase of said knight while whirling a lasso over your head...

This stuff can be more mutual, y'know? Direct statements about what you want are one way of gaining momentum without having to KO any bandits-you could say 'I would like to have coffee with you some time', or 'I would like to have dinner with you some time' or whatever it is you would like to do (picnic? clay pigeon shooting? tour of a whisky factory?) and if s/he's motivated enough then coffee (etc) will appear!

(I suck at organisation and I am fundamentally pretty lazy, so this is the approach I find the handiest).


_____________________________

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RE: Do You Pursue if ... - 4/27/2010 2:11:42 PM   
Dilseachd


Posts: 53
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Frankly...I want to be "hunted". I have alot to offer..and I want to see someone who has the tenacity to pursue and hunt me down. Just my opinion.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
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RE: Do You Pursue if ... - 4/27/2010 2:34:45 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		I've seen this hammered out on this forum before, Lady O. I think that at some ideal, philosophical level, it makes sense for a female dominant to pursue a male submissive. However, that goes against not just hundreds of years of culture, but also the way most women are brought up, even today. Granted, there are women who love to do this pursuing. But for others, it won't feel at all 'natural'. (It won't feel 'natural' to a large number of male submissives, either, I'd bet.)

All of which leads me simply to echo MasterFireMaam's advice: 'Do what feels natural and comfortable for you'.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


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RE: Do You Pursue if ... - 4/27/2010 2:54:11 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dilseachd

Frankly...I want to be "hunted". I have alot to offer..and I want to see someone who has the tenacity to pursue and hunt me down. Just my opinion.


Good luck with that.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

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RE: Do You Pursue if ... - 4/27/2010 2:55:03 PM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyOddsworth

you meet a sub you are really taken with? Or, do you let him know of your interest and let it be? Personally, I don't like to pursue men, it doesn't feel right, but being the D, maybe I should take a more proactive approach with some of them.

What do you subs think?? Do you want to be "claimed"?

Thanks,


I do like the feeling that comes from being claimed. Like a transparent blanket.

Meet Halfway. If you find things both parties can relate on then we have the Claimed and the Claimer, if both parties agree.

Aggression.

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

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RE: Do You Pursue if ... - 4/27/2010 6:16:02 PM   
Dilseachd


Posts: 53
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		@lusciouslips19

Ive had lots of luck at it. Currently have a wonderful Lady who stalked me and pursued me until she brought me down. Differant kinks for differant folks. :)

Lots of luck to you as well.


(in reply to pyroaquatic)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Do You Pursue if ... - 4/27/2010 6:29:05 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dilseachd

@lusciouslips19

Ive had lots of luck at it. Currently have a wonderful Lady who stalked me and pursued me until she brought me down. Differant kinks for differant folks. :)

Lots of luck to you as well.




Funny, your profile doesnt mention this. Most women on either side of the slash want courtliness and someone paying them attention and being pursued. But in any event, good luck with your stalker.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 4/27/2010 6:30:11 PM >

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Dilseachd)
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RE: Do You Pursue if ... - 4/27/2010 6:36:03 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dilseachd

@lusciouslips19

Ive had lots of luck at it. Currently have a wonderful Lady who stalked me and pursued me until she brought me down. Differant kinks for differant folks. :)

Lots of luck to you as well.




It's the kilt... we've all heard what's under those.


_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to Dilseachd)
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RE: Do You Pursue if ... - 4/27/2010 6:41:35 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I don't pursue. I will let my interest be known. Oh I used to do the hunt thing, but these days I'm more nonchalant about it all. In the right setting, I will let someone know if I am interested, but hunting/pursuing just doesn't work for me. I love the flirt game and I am more likely to do it in person than I am around here.




_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Do You Pursue if ... - 4/27/2010 6:47:55 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dilseachd

@lusciouslips19

Ive had lots of luck at it. Currently have a wonderful Lady who stalked me and pursued me until she brought me down. Differant kinks for differant folks. :)

Lots of luck to you as well.




It's the kilt... we've all heard what's under those.



Yes, its easy to take a man down when you can grab hold of his handle because he doesnt have his knickers on!

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Do You Pursue if ... - 4/27/2010 7:04:42 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline 		Lady Oddsworth,

Actually i like Your question. Because it is a good one.

As a man, i am quite aware of the differences in what appeals to a man. And generally, i tend to agree with Vaguely Curious and Her reply to You.

i am sure though, You will find a mix of answers here, as always. But here goes ...

myself, i am most attracted by consistent concern/questions/inquiry into how i am doing ...

as well as enough information about Yourself ... so i know who i am responding to.

For example ... if You are a bartender at the pub, with a high school education, i might answer You one way. If You are an instructor ... dean ... or what ever at a college ... i will answer You differently.

Yes, it is a bit of an extreme example ... but i do have a point.

It is the subtle ... i am interested ... but ... you have to see it over time ... and wake up to it .... approach that works best on me.

i call it intrigue.

It takes some time and effort ... then again ... men put time and effort into chasing a Woman ... so they can appreciate it. When they wake up to it. <chuckles>

:) Good luck on this topic ... because Your mileage will really vary ... on this one.





< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 4/27/2010 7:27:39 PM >

(in reply to LadyOddsworth)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Do You Pursue if ... - 4/27/2010 7:20:46 PM   
Dilseachd


Posts: 53
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		lusciouslips.

You didnt read my journal or you would see I am in a relationship...and though I said Stalk..not the same. I suppose I chose the wrong word. In essance I meant...someone who has the tenacity to keep after someone they want. I of course always treated her with respect and courtesy and have always been a gentleman. We started out as just friends who played, but she wanted more and in time she didnt give up and go look elsewhere...tenacity..huntress. She found the things to make me want to enter into a relationship with her that was more than just friends/play partners.

Really...Im not shallow and I know many a submissive man who would prefer someone to agressively court them..they just wont admit it.

The one person who has genuinely stalked me over the years...I have nothing to do with.

Regards,
Dils

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Do You Pursue if ... - 4/27/2010 7:26:05 PM   
becca143


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/20/2010
Status: offline 		As a sub, I've experienced both methods of courting, both a Dom taking immediate control, giving commands, and Doms that express interest and take a more traditional courting approach. I have mixed feelings on both. The control approach has a certain sex appeal to me as a sub. I of course love that kind of dominance, but there's a fine line, and crossing it with TPE before ownership is a real turn off. It seems that traditional courting works out best long term. In my opinion anyway! :)

(in reply to GraciousLady)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Do You Pursue if ... - 4/27/2010 7:51:24 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline 		You know ... now that i think of it ... there are so many DIFFERENT approaches that can work.

After i posted ... i thought of some of the flirts i have known ... and yes .. they could (have) nailed me quickly. Every one is soooo different.

So i will share this one ... because it is sooo funny.

i was out to a business lunch with two other guys ... on a lake ... in the summer ...

the restaurant/bar overlooked the lake ... we sat at a table ...

the waitress/bartender walked over to take the order ... i was last ... she looked at me and said ... what do you want ....

i said ... what i want is not on the menu ....

Calmly, she removed the menu from my hands ... tossed it onto the floor ... then stood on it ....

She looked me right in the eye and said ... "Now is it on the menu?"

i chased after her for two weeks ... before we figured out we had nothing in common.

The point being ... a great flirt ... can be worth its weight in gold!

Told ya, this is a really tough question! LOL

< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 4/27/2010 8:22:27 PM >

(in reply to LadyOddsworth)
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RE: Do You Pursue if ... - 4/27/2010 7:59:11 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		~FR~

I've hunted quite a bit but discovered that the strong boys tend to be skittish as they aren't used to women hunting.

So if I want to get a man I'm interested in, I'll just set a little trap and lure him in. Next thing he knows, he's all caught up in my net! ;-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Do You Pursue if ... - 4/27/2010 8:17:45 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

strong boys tend to be skittish as they aren't used to women hunting


i think You mean Women Hunted ... cause we try to do a lot of women hunting .... ;-)

But i will say ... You might just be surprised.

A lot of women ... try to make us prey ... YET ....

i will add ... depending on how clever Your trap is ... it just could work.

Because wit and originality get a lot of points ... too.

So if there is a moral here for Lady Oddsworth ... i would say ...

You have to find Your own style ... what You are comfortable with ... and what works for You.

But never feel "Personally, I don't like to pursue men, it doesn't feel right"

because Women in every walk of life ... do ...

Each just has Her own style and polish and approach.

And at the risk of sounding old ... You are using an old fashioned belief ...



< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 4/27/2010 8:43:34 PM >

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Do You Pursue if ... - 4/27/2010 8:42:20 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

strong boys tend to be skittish as they aren't used to women hunting


While i think You mean Women Hunted ... cause we try t do a lot of women hunting .... ;-)


No, I meant what I wrote. Men are not used to women hunting, as in women who are doing the hunting.

quote:

i will add ... depending on how clever Your trap is ... it just could work.


That has been my experience so far ;-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
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