Jasmyn
Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline
|
With the numerous threads that have been hashed out on these boards overtime discussing professional domination I thought I'd post an essay I wrote sometime ago on this very subject, alas it is in its first draft and needs a lot of work, but would love either feedback or discussion. Why I am posting it is I think the plethora of 'pros' advertising on websites like Collarme and others, 'money dommes', etc have infact done the profession of commercial domination more harm than good. Many professional dominatrices are skilled, talented and ethical women who pay their taxes, provide quality environments and sessions, and inherently understand and respect the part they have to play in educating the masses.
Unfortunately while some women may understand professional domination is largely a no sex service and refrain from offering sex (intercourse) as part of their sessions, it is largely misunderstood that the desire is for a client to be mentally dominated, and conduct their sessions with a strong sexual energy (ie: erotic tease) that leads to a ‘physical release’ as opposed to the ‘mental and emotional release’. Thus visiting a Dominatrix for the purposes of intercourse will disappoint the client who was in effect wanting the services of an Escort offering ‘B&D’. And vice versa, a client wanting to experience Female Domination will be disappointed when he finds himself in the hands of an Escort offering ‘kinky sex’ or ‘erotic tease’ as opposed to a Dominatrix offering domination.
Some reasons a client may seek out professional domination follows:
Bondage in a sense of restriction, equates to emotional security and safety. The bonds allows the client, some say ‘forces’ them to focus inwards and turn off their outer world.
Discipline is often used in regressive role-plays to induce sensations of shame, embarrassment, remorse and emotional release at the hands of an authority figure. Often associated with school styled discipline using canes and straps, rulers, etc, and involving a ‘school room’ scenario. Other forms can include disapproving aunty/nanny and nurse/younger patient. Some clients seek solely to feel the embarrassment of being admonished, while others seek a more intense emotional release and wish to be taken to the point of ‘breaking down’, resulting in crying, sobbing and begging for mercy.
Corporal punishment clients often ask to be reassured during the discipline, that administering the punishment will ‘hurt’ the Dominatrix (in the role she assumes) ‘more than it hurts him’ as she ’really does not wish to punish him’ but correctional discipline is ‘for his own good’ and he will ‘thank’ her later for correcting his behaviour. Her admissions of caring for his wellbeing invoke sensations of protection, boundary setting, and been cared for.
Spanking while not solely a corporal punishment, has similar dynamics, with many clients seeking reassurances they are ‘still a good boy’ and that ‘aunty/nanny/mother/nursey’ cares a great deal for them and their wellbeing, often requiring the Dominatrix to comfort and soothe the client at the end of discipline. The closeness of administering over the knee spanking aids the client’s sense of security and love.
Deeper forms of regressive role-play, such as ‘adult babies’, are carried out with the aid of intense psychodrama. The Dominatrix assumes a nanny/nurse/parent role and the client a young child or baby. These sessions serve to take a client back to a time in his/her life where an intense feeling of love and security was experienced. Deeply regressive sessions aid the client in experiencing those sensations as an adult, are deeply psychological and should never be dealt with flippantly. When ‘regressed’ the client is for all intents and purposes a child/baby with the mental capacity the age of which they have regressed too.
SM (the use of intense to extreme levels of pain inflicted on the body to bring about the release of adrenalin within it, to produce ‘natural high’ and escalate mental and physical stimulation). In cases of SM, play over an extended period can escalate a body’s ability to process pain into a pleasant sensation and thus stimulate the mind to want to receive more. A client may lose their ability to tell how painful a sensation, desire more intense stimuli, and suffer a loss of mental capacity. Thus making it dangerous to expect the client to make an informed judgement about their ability to continue the session.
If a scene exceeds a client’s mental and physical limitations, combined with no thought to caution and ethical judgement, the risk of sending the client into shock is a possibility, as opposed to the feeling of ‘floating’ and ‘inner peace’ generally sought. With this in mind, one must be knowledgeable about the human body and mind, first aid, and have exceptional observation skills. When carrying out the more extreme forms of SM, regardless of your role (sadist/masochist), a practitioner should know and respect their mental and physical limitations.)
Domination takes many forms but the most often sought are: servitude/submission (willingness to serve) and subordinate (forced into being a slave). A service-orientated client will seek a sense of helpfulness, humility, servility and worthiness, by showing devotion and honour to the Dominatrix’s role as his/her ‘Mistress’. Readily carrying out tasks and enduring her mental and physical stimuli as a sign of his/her devotion and worthiness to her ‘higher power’. Submissive clients will hold a favoured Dominatrix in high regard; will seek to please her in and outside of the allotted session time, and pay great attention to the orders and tasks she sets them. He discovers a sense of fulfilment at her hands. He may develop an ongoing attachment to her and it is not unknown for men to frequent the same Dominatrix their entire adult life.
Subordinate orientated clients seek a loss of control and respect, often referring to themselves in derogatory terms during the session and seeking the Dominatrix to do the same. They wish for the Dominatrix to mentally and/or physically exert her ‘power’, thereby ‘forcing’ him into slavery at her hands. They seek to feel worthless; a subordinate creature whose true place in life is that of a ‘slave’. This orientation is based in a deep-seated drive to experience a very real ‘lack of control’ over their actions, thoughts and person for a set period of time. This need to give up responsibility and having his every action ‘controlled’ is in most part due to intense pressure they bear in everyday life to ‘be in control’ and having to ‘control’ those around them. Generally ‘subordinate’ clients have no desire to explore BDSM/Fetish outside each session experience.
Punishment invokes a varied number of emotions, but the main two are ‘security/love’ and ‘remorse/shame’. The first brought about by the placement of boundaries on the clients behaviour and/or ‘role-play’ and ‘real’ misdemeanours punished by the threat or action of ‘role-played’ and/or ‘real’ discipline; the latter, shame/remorse, bringing about the release of deep seated guilt and emotions of shame a client may have through the above mechanisms.
Humiliation like domination takes many forms, but common are personal and/or erotic humiliation is sought by the client. Personal humiliation revolves around the client being abused mentally for the character they assume in session. The scale can range from mild abuse, to intense humiliation and degradation. Mostly associated with ‘subordinate’ fantasies. Erotic humiliation serves to stimulate a client’s reaction to a Dominatrix’s words and actions, embarrassing and belittling his lack of control over his own bodily functions.
Because he is being ‘controlled’ by the Dominatrix, the client psychologically gives himself permission to do things he would not do outside the dungeon/session because he assumes no responsibility for his actions. Thereby allowing him to session guilt-free of the emotions, feelings and sensations a Dominatrix may put him through. It serves as an outlet for deep-seated fantasies and feelings of helplessness.
The Dominatrix assumes the position of unobtainable Goddess, while the client’s sexual frustrations and fantasies are discussed at length requiring an admission of guilt, being laughed at and demeaned, then dismissed. The predicament he find’s himself in aids his embarrassment and the sense of ‘naughtiness’ heightens his mental stimulation. The client maybe made to stimulate himself as a form of embarrassment.
The experience of being made to address their inner fantasies is an intensely sexual stimulus; often result in clients climaxing through the Dominatrix’s verbal stimulation alone.
Erotic humiliation, and its milder form ‘erotic bondage’ while sexual in nature, do not involve sex (intercourse). The Dominatrix maintains her position of power by maintaining her dignity in direct contrast to the client’s lack of it. Forced feminisation and forced homosexuality role-play are often the base on which a client wants erotic humiliation.
Fetishism may include such acts as foot worship, the wearing of clothing or materials, etc.
This is by no means a definitive guide but I hope for those who do not understand what professional domination entails this essay has at least given you an insight into what it can for the woman who does and the clients who visit with her.
NB: Arpig, Realone, MichaelGA, McWhips and others who often post against the practice of professional domination ... unless you all have something constructive to add please refrain from posting your negativity on this thread. Jasmyn, who loves ya, but just can't stand you're obsession with all things pro.
< Message edited by Jasmyn -- 4/5/2006 7:34:44 PM >
_____________________________
quote:
"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.
Visit My Website
|
Professional Domination 101 - your thoughts please. - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread