RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (Full Version)

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MsAlisedeSade -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/28/2010 6:44:55 PM)

Lockit. I did not see your thread about mine I apologize if you think that was aimed at you it wasn't.
I just have a tendency to push back when being pushed. And I really was not talking down to anyone who has not spoken down to me but I do not take it back. It was meant for those who it was meant for.

It is a repeated theme throughout the board not there are many instances where I see it. When I have seen it it was usually as an insult to try to push the Prodomme back into a class where they think she belongs. I feel it's not fair. Now someone who holds a "normal' job might not be offended that much by that kind of sentiment, but can you imagine how a sex worker feels While it is human to catergorize things for them to make sense in some instances it can be harmful.





MsAlisedeSade -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/28/2010 6:48:10 PM)

My sentiments exactly.
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade
Different is Different and shoud be as obvious as us being different.


Ms AS, I always thought I had green eyes. Some people, recently, have told me I have hazel eyes. Why would I give a rat's anus?

I genuinely feel sad when I see pro-dommes come on here being defensive. I count a particular pro-domme as one of my friends. She's a fine woman, a noble one. One of the best of all women.

Feck. Human attitudes, human prejudices. God rot them all.




domiguy -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/28/2010 6:50:17 PM)

I think everyone would be quite happy and proud if their daughter decided to become a pro domme.



PeonForHer -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/28/2010 6:51:59 PM)

Oh, fuck off, DG.



domiguy -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/28/2010 7:07:48 PM)

You wouldn't?...What an asshole.



RedMagic1 -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/28/2010 7:13:14 PM)

I don't have any daughters, but plenty of my nilla colleagues know that I'm the guy who dated the dominatrix.  One of my friends, a faculty member here, even picked her up at the airport one time.  She was dressed like a normal person at the time, imagine that.  Mostly what I hear is, "Really?  That's interesting," or, "That's so cool!"

What is there not to be proud of?  The person who sounds most unproud of her career choice on this thread is the OP.



domiguy -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/28/2010 7:21:17 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

I don't have any daughters, but plenty of my nilla colleagues know that I'm the guy who dated the dominatrix.  One of my friends, a faculty member here, even picked her up at the airport one time.  She was dressed like a normal person at the time, imagine that.  Mostly what I hear is, "Really?  That's interesting," or, "That's so cool!"

What is there not to be proud of?  The person who sounds most unproud of her career choice on this thread is the OP.



Red, that's what you hear. That is not what they are thinking.

You need meaner friends.....lol.

My friends would never say such a thing.



PeonForHer -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/28/2010 7:24:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

You wouldn't?...What an asshole.


I'm sorry that I was so brusque with you there, DG. Would you like to share with us the reasons why you're proud that your daughter is a pro-domme?



RedMagic1 -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/28/2010 7:24:57 PM)

Or perhaps I am more comfortable and happy in my sexuality than you, so the people who care about me see less need to raise their voices.



domiguy -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/28/2010 7:33:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

You wouldn't?...What an asshole.


I'm sorry that I was so brusque with you there, DG. Would you like to share with us the reasons why you're proud that your daughter is a pro-domme?


It reminds me of life back when I was but a domiboy...

One of my roommate's had his father visiting in Chicago. Our apartment was trashed and I think we routinely had five or six people hanging around if not living there. Liquor bottles were scattered about and the smell of stale beer and women hung in the air.

My friend's father, who was remarried, was visiting Northwestern University with his "new" son, my friend's step brother.

He looked around "our" apartment in complete awe and disgust, placed his arm around his son's shoulders and said, "Eric, you do the opposite of everything I tell you and one day all of this could be yours!"

When I see pro's I wonder what went wrong. Very few seem authentic and even fewer seem to be remotely happy.

I would be proud to have my daughter follow in this rewarding and intellectually stimulating career choice.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Or perhaps I am more comfortable and happy in my sexuality than you, so the people who care about me see less need to raise their voices.



Oh Red, don't be silly. They have simply lost all expectations in your ability to choose a partner.....lol...Red, I am kiddding... I kid cuz I care.




SweetDommes -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/28/2010 8:07:17 PM)

OP - I totally don't understand the point of this thread, to be honest. I repeat, as long as no one is trying to infringe on your rights and freedom, then why does it matter if they equate Pro-Dommes with prostitutes? If they talk down to you, walk away. If they are rude to you, ignore them. They are little people with small minds. This is why *I* have gotten the impression that you feel you are 'better' than prostitutes. I feel like you are trying to force the distinction because you feel that being considered a prostitute belittles you - not that it's just a mis-nomer. That's the reason that I used the nurse example - it doesn't make me feel belittled to be called an LPN, it's just a mis-nomer. The only time it matters is for official documentation - so I correct it then, otherwise, I don't really care. I know my official title, I know my degrees and licensure - I don't care if others do or don't as long as they aren't rude about it. If they are rude, I correct them, then walk away. I don't get defensive or shitty or whatever. People are stupid, they suck in bad ways - walk away when they are like that. You don't need to come to a forum like this - where we are fairly accepting (with a few notable exceptions) of Pros no matter if they actually have sex with their clients or not (although we may warn them about the legalities - it's their choice, in the end) and try to force the distiction here.



MsAlisedeSade -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/28/2010 8:45:02 PM)

Thanks for your responses everyone.



Venatrix -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/28/2010 10:00:51 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Christ, what's going on in the world? I thought Americans were supposed to have true grit - even female Americans. [:(]



You've been watching too many John Wayne movies, mate. "It's 10-inch dildos at high noon in Dodge City".



MarcEsadrian -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/28/2010 10:13:39 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade

I have seen a few posts that liken Proffesional Domination to prostitution which makes about as much sense as thinking your waitress at Denny's is your personal slave. Most of the more notable ProDommes do not offer sex of any kind as part of the menu including myself and stick to clients who are more cerebral in thier needs for an endorphin rush.


I can understand the desire you have for "cerebral" needs in a client, but there is the reality that much of what drives male submission—or the pale facade of it—is sexuality, albeit rewired and nuanced. I think that's how many arrive upon the prostitute and john paradigm; the idea that in the end, it's still, at its core, a sexual—or psychosexual—interaction. While I know there will always be androgynous exceptions, most would agree there is a psychosexual component somewhere in the psychology of the average Professional Domina's client, and that's often putting it mildly. Of course, to say it's all about sex is a shallow miscalculation, too.

I'm not telling you anything you or others here don't already know, of course. I would just like to see this bickering of who is and isn't a whore and why and how just end.

I'm not blaming you; I'm sympathetic to your overall argument. Activism for the cause of truth is noble, but should be well placed. I'm not so sure this message board is a good investment of that energy. I would suggest that those who believe "Pro" means "whore" have the burden of explaining what they mean, and in so doing, inevitably show how particular and narrow-minded their take on the two really is. The caricaturizations are revealing in and of themselves. It's doubly amusing when these same people act all open-minded, going on and on about the folly of labels elsewhere.



ResidentSadist -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/28/2010 11:22:47 PM)

I remember why I don't visit these forums now. I am afraid someone will say massage parlors are strictly therapeutic and escorts are just for the company.

“apples and oranges” . . . LMAO . . . you got that right! A call girl doesn't normally cross the homophobic lines, mount and fuck her client in the ass with a strap on . . . that ought to give them an “endorphin rush” . . . for $200 /hr . . . in a private room with sexy girl . . . [:D]



MissAsylum -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 4:05:58 AM)

As a ProDomme myself, the only time I've have heard the term "whore" or have been called one is when i stubble upon a person who thinks its above theselves to pay for a session. I'm not trying to make any personal assumptions about you, but from what you have written, it seems as though you have gotten hung up on the word "whore", as if you take it personally, which tends to contradict the confident, yet slightly "holier than thou", self-assured attitude you are putting out there. If you believe as though you aren't one, bullocks to anybody who feels otherwise. Just move on- its absolutely NOTHING worthy of getting your panties in bunch over.



LadyAngelika -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 4:53:48 AM)

quote:

If a man has money -- real money -- there are women who will do pretty much anything he wants.


Damn. How much money you got, Red? ;-)

- LA



RedMagic1 -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 6:42:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
Damn. How much money you got, Red? ;-)

Not enough to keep you in fois gras and Chippendales for the rest of your life![;)]

Nah, my comments come from dating around -- and otherwise being around -- the periphery of the fetish industry for many years.  I have essentially no experience as a client. 

Part of what drove my comments, too, was the reality of sugardaddyism: there are a lot of gorgeous women who are not in any part of "the industry" who will do all kinds of nilla or kinky shit if you pay their rent, treat them to nice dinners, and take them shopping.  I think a lot of men understand this reality, but don't have the money themselves for it, so they get cynical and decide all women can be bought.  (Or they try to use it as a club to get their way, "You're a whore, right?")  But even gold-diggers appreciate social skills, and most women, even if they find money a major turn-on, need the guy to have something else too, if they're going to see him more than a few times.

All that said, as far as I'm concerned, nilla compatibility is far more important for healthy interaction than either money or kink.  I've posted this before, but it's still true: If you marry for money, you earn it.



RedMagic1 -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 6:48:57 AM)

Also, as a followup to my post just now, remember than Porn Valley, Califorina, had a major meltdown over the last couple years, because of the economic decline.  Larry Flynt even co-authored a request to Congress to give the porn industry a bailout.  (This request was not considered very seriously, as you might imagine.)  Fetish was not so hard hit, because it's a more niche market with a more dedicated clientele, but an awful lot of nilla porn starlets suddenly discovered that there was no work.

Bottom line: there's a lot more women, who don't particularly want to be escorts, who can literally provide guys the Porn Star Experience.  So they put up profiles on places like SeekingArrangement.com.  It's a way to pay some bills by doing something they know, without risking nighttime meets with unscreened clients.



allthatjaz -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 8:00:57 AM)

I have read the entire post and go along with what Red says.

As someone who is an ex pro Domme I had to accept that what I was doing was prostitution. Thats not to say I had sex, I didn't but I did do cbt. Touching a mans genitals or even torturing a mans genitals is sexual, at least to them. I also spanked them, whipped them, tied them up or down. I berated them, scolded them, teased them and all of this was a sexual turn on for them. I dressed in skin tight latex, white jodhpurs with high leather boots. I didn't show my breasts or my fanny but what I wore was to intimidate them, turn them on and make them swoon. How could I claim that was not prostitution? As far as I am concerned a woman who shows her tits in a top shelf magazine is prostituting herself and a woman that turns a guy on from lap dancing is prostituting herself. A young woman that swoons over an old rich guy is prostituting herself and a woman who works on sex phone lines is prostituting. Any woman that earns money from the service of sexually entertaining a male is a prostitute and just because you don't like that word doesn't mean you aren't one.
I'm not sure why this is worrying you so much. Being called a whore is a put down. Its meant to hurt but just ignore people like that. Being called a prostitute is truth. Its not insulting and you have every right to say 'I may well be a prostitute but Im a prostitute that doesn't have sex with her clients'

Just because we earn more than escorts doesn't make us better than them. Perhaps it makes us more cunning. Earning a lot and not having to have sex is a good move as far as I'm concerned.



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