RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is?

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MissAsylum -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 3:23:13 PM)
wow. did somebody piss in your wheaties this morning? i do not see how me asking a serious question was grounds for thinking that you had to take a grade-school blow at me. are we going to start name calling next? did i say anything about your skills? am i supposed to know you have devices to control orgasm? no. stow the attitude with me- i haven't given you any.

hngnyc -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 3:45:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer Heh. I know of someone (he's not a friend, note) who I heard (from his wife) experienced many enjoyable hours cracking them off while watching Britney Spears in her 'Baby Hit Me One More Time' video. She's not my wife and we're pals. It hurts that you talk this way. [:o] At the risk of being radical for such modern company, the general beef with prostitution is that it lacks virtue. Shame on her for selling those precious gifts that should be saved for that one love. Shame on him for not taking a shower, standing up straight and saving those nickels for that one love. Romance is not an everyday luxury for many. The rent must be paid and the body needs touch. OP, the virtues that matter are in your own mind and of those you hold close. If someone tries to buy milk from your lemonade stand, just point to the sign. -hng

Lockit -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 4:09:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade Lockit. I did not see your thread about mine I apologize if you think that was aimed at you it wasn't. I just have a tendency to push back when being pushed. And I really was not talking down to anyone who has not spoken down to me but I do not take it back. It was meant for those who it was meant for. It is a repeated theme throughout the board not there are many instances where I see it. When I have seen it it was usually as an insult to try to push the Prodomme back into a class where they think she belongs. I feel it's not fair. Now someone who holds a "normal' job might not be offended that much by that kind of sentiment, but can you imagine how a sex worker feels While it is human to catergorize things for them to make sense in some instances it can be harmful. I did not think you were talking to me specifically. Just your whole tone of frustration, anger, proving a point, defensiveness... is what I'm talking about. You know, I get sarcastic when men try to place me where women have classically been placed in society and although submissive, determine that I am there to tend to their kinky sexual needs. But getting mad isn't helping when you direct your anger at people who most likely don't think badly of what you do. This isn't just a pro this or that thing. It is a woman thing added to the pro this or that. Many men think less of woman and show it when they think we ought to service the knob whenever, however, no matter who they are to us.They think we live to service the knob. You think in a controversial position they are going to be any better about how they treat us? If they can't even respect women who are not in the pro business which they do believe is sexual whether it is or not, how can we expect the general male in public to change the attitude with a pro whatever? It is in how we handle it. I won't accept that treatment and am very sure to stand for the right things. Believe me, I was fighting for your rights when you weren't even in school yet. Blazing a path of male dominance to show that women deserved better treatment and I would insist on it. Whatever it took. When you take a man's money he feels he has certain rights and he feels that he owns you. Typically anyway. Those that feel differently have all my admiration, because they are the more rare. I will get frustrated sometimes and will do my red head bitch vents, or sarcastic wtf is wrong with you people, but I have learned to make a joke out of it. You don't help a cause by being unreasonably angry and directing your efforts towards the wrong people. You can't call the shots, change the world or change all men. I've known enough sex workers, dancer's, whatever... to have seen before a great attitude from some of them. Those with the most attitude had the most guilt in my opinion. They were defensive and couldn't get over how they were viewed or what they actually did. They personally were in the wrong business. Those that can handle it, more power to them! But if it is your cause to change things, you might brush up on those skills a bit because you are pretty lost in direction and the correct attitude.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 5:36:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika Damn. How much money you got, Red? ;-) Not enough to keep you in fois gras and Chippendales for the rest of your life![;)] S'Ok, I prefer sushi & Louboutins ;-) Anyhow, your post reminded me of the film The Magic Christian, which is worth watching only because Raquel Welch plays a the Priestess of the Whip;-) Sir Guy Grand (Peter Sellers) an eccentric billionaire, together with his newly adopted heir (formerly a homeless derelict), Youngman Grand (Ringo Starr), start playing elaborate practical jokes on people. A big spender, Grand does not mind handing out large sums of money to various people, bribing them to fulfill his whims, or shocking them by bringing down what they hold dear. Their misadventures are designed as a display of father Grand to his adoptive charge that "everyone has their price" - it just depends on the amount one is prepared to pay. Great fun! - LA

MsAlisedeSade -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 7:10:22 PM)
I think the reality is that when all I did was ask a question on this board all I got was don't worry about you have issue with what you do which is nothing more than asinine BS. Does it really look like I care what anyone thinks of me? No. This thread was supposed to open a dialog on a subject that I felt was relevent Not have people who don't have a clue of who I am or what I am about say thinks like oh you think you are better you're no better. Oh poor thing has issues with what she does and because I don't recoil into a corner and keep my mouth shut I get criticized about that too. Sorry I'm an in your face kinda gal.

MissAsylum -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 7:20:22 PM)
it wouldn't hurt for you to take into consideration your tone of writing. kudos to you if you dont care what others think. but your approach to the differences between pro-domination comes across as snobbish, know-it-all, and as i said before, holier than thou. case in point- your snide remark at my question, what did you gain from it? you're making it seem as though you are full of rage (although it probably isnt the case), and typically, nobody will take anybody seriously if they approach in anger- like smoke is coming out of your rear end

MissAsylum -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 7:22:08 PM)
and my apologies, but "in your face" i thought meant up front and honest- not catty.

RedMagic1 -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 7:29:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade I think the reality is that when all I did was ask a question on this board all I got was don't worry about you have issue with what you do which is nothing more than asinine BS. Is that really all you heard? I didn't hear MarcEsadrian saying that at all, just to name one poster who seemed to take the topic in an entirely different direction from what you just stated. Look. In four pages, you've gotten opinions from two current prodommes, two former prodommes, the business manager of a prodomme, a national BDSM spokesperson, a lifestyle femdom who does demos at events in multiple states, someone whose online blog about the philosophy and reality of D/s was followed by a gazillion people -- as well as "nobodies" like LadyAngelika, Sweetdommes, or me. If you decide to hear nothing we are saying, that is, of course, your choice. I'll tell you, though -- I discovered that, for me, the most important learning skill was the ability to not let my ego get in the way of hearing what people were actually trying to say. I won't post further on this thread. All the best to you.

thishereboi -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 7:47:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade I think the reality is that when all I did was ask a question on this board all I got was don't worry about you have issue with what you do which is nothing more than asinine BS. Does it really look like I care what anyone thinks of me? No. This thread was supposed to open a dialog on a subject that I felt was relevent Not have people who don't have a clue of who I am or what I am about say thinks like oh you think you are better you're no better. Oh poor thing has issues with what she does and because I don't recoil into a corner and keep my mouth shut I get criticized about that too. Sorry I'm an in your face kinda gal. Well gosh, you asked a question and didn't get the answers you wanted. That really sucks. Maybe next time, you should provide a list of acceptable responses and we'll see what we can do to accommodate ya. [8\|]

PeonForHer -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 7:48:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade . . . oh you think you are better you're no better . . . Ms AS, it's not that I think you're no better than a prostitute. It's that I think prostitutes are no worse than you are (and, come to that, they're no worse than I am, either). It may not feel it to you right now, but that implies a very big difference indeed between what I think most people have been saying to you here and how you've taken what they've said.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 7:54:27 PM)
quote: as well as "nobodies" like LadyAngelika You really want me to kick you in the nuts, don't you ;-) - LA

LadyAngelika -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 8:01:58 PM)
quote: I think the reality is that when all I did was ask a question on this board all I got was don't worry about you have issue with what you do which is nothing more than asinine BS. RedMagic was pretty bang on except for me being a nobody ;-) You might want to read through the pages again, and this time with an open mind. quote: Does it really look like I care what anyone thinks of me? No. If you didn't, you wouldn't be so defensive. It's ok to care what people think of you, honest, it is. And it's healthy actually. Only sociopaths truly don't care what others think of them. The key is in the end following your instincts and being true to yourself. quote: This thread was supposed to open a dialog on a subject that I felt was relevent We all have high hopes when we post a thread, but when we chose to discuss things in a public forum, we have to accept what we get as answers. Otherwise, we don't post. quote: Not have people who don't have a clue of who I am or what I am about say thinks like oh you think you are better you're no better. Oh poor thing has issues with what she does and because I don't recoil into a corner and keep my mouth shut I get criticized about that too. That would be your perception of things. I know the people who post here and some can be quite direct, in your face as you put it, but also, many of them are quite on the ball and talk from experience. I know, I've been hanging around here a while. quote: Sorry I'm an in your face kinda gal. You don't have to apologize for who you are. If you are an in your face kind of person, then be true to your nature. But also consider that just because you are Domme, you don't have to be aggressive. I've always considered that domination isn't really about being aggressive, it's about being in control. You can take back control of this thread rather than aggressively trying to steer it your way by telling others you aren't satisfied with their answers. - LA

PeonForHer -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 8:09:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika quote: as well as "nobodies" like LadyAngelika You really want me to kick you in the nuts, don't you ;-) - LA You think you've got reason to kick Red in the nads? I didn't even qualify as a 'nobody' in his list! Bearded git. I'll get him for that.

cloudboy -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 8:23:08 PM)
Tricky. As Domiguy correctly points out -- who in their right mind would steer their loved ones into the sex industry? On the other hand, there is no need to run down sex workers -- the job must come with enough of its own burdens -- there's no need to make the women feel worse about it.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 8:27:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika quote: as well as "nobodies" like LadyAngelika You really want me to kick you in the nuts, don't you ;-) - LA You think you've got reason to kick Red in the nads? I didn't even qualify as a 'nobody' in his list! Bearded git. I'll get him for that. Heh. Poor Red, he tries so hard to be diplomatic ;-) - LA

xxblushesxx -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 10:03:27 PM)
I don't know. Thinking about this....there were some interesting points made both by the OP and by many, many others. I will say though that when I first started working, I worked at some places like Ponderosa, and Pizza Hut. I was a server. Many years later I was a server at a couple of different country clubs. The duties I had were VERY different in most ways, with a few over lapping. The money was insanely better at the clubs, and the status was as well. I don't really equate a person who works at McDonalds and dishes out fries on the same level occupationally as a somlier, a Maitre de or even a server at a fine restaurant. There is much more skill, maturity and training involved in the second group, even though I guess when paying taxes, it shows up under the same category. This is just an example using the hospitality industry; I'm sure there are many other just as relevant analogies I could make in other industries. I do work in the sex industry. I work as a "telephone dominatrix". There is almost always an element of sex involved, but not one hundred percent of the time. Some guys are just lonely and want someone to talk to. I feel like, yes, I am a sex worker, and that domme's are as well. I'm not a prostitute, however. A prostitute sells her body. I sell my imagination, creativity, my voice, my personality and my sex appeal. Many domme's do as well. Many may have a price for allowing access to certain areas of their body. (even their feet) I, however, don't. So yes, I would take offense to being called a prostitute, but I have no problem identifying as a sex worker. So basically, what I'm trying to say is that both sides have a point, and at times (not everyone, just some at times) seemed to purposely not "hear" what the other side was trying to say. If the lady doesn't identify as a prostitute, why tell her that she feels superior? Not every job is created equal. Not every prostitute does it because she has to, and not every domme is a prostitute. I can already feel the heat from this, but...I felt compelled to add it.

SweetDommes -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/29/2010 10:27:34 PM)
I don't think it's so much that she doesn't identify as a prostitute that is making us feel like she has issues with being a Pro-Domme. It's the attitude that she is projecting in this thread. If she doesn't identify as one, then great - no skin off of our collective noses ... People who classify her as such automatically are stupid, small-minded prats. There are a lot of people in this world like that. Those are the same people who think that being a Domme (Pro or otherwise) equals being a slut and/or a complete and utter bitch (among other lovely stereotypes that they tend to subscribe to). I tell them they are wrong and move on. It's not that deep. OP - the reason we feel that you have issues is because of the way that you are presenting yourself on a forum that, in general, would support you and your profession. Obviously, there are other Pros and former Pros and possible future Pros on this forum ... you aren't hated, despised, looked down on, or whatever. I, personally, feel like you came into this board with a huge chip on your shoulder and shoved it into our faces for no reason. No one is saying that you are automatically a prostitute for being a Pro - just that we can see why people might think so ... a lot of people don't see any difference between sex-workers - to them, sex-workers are sex-workers are sex-workers. We don't know why they think that way, other than the whole small-minded thing - but it's life. As I believe I stated before, most people suck in bad ways. You can either let them get to you or not. That part of it is completely up to you. The way you came into this forum - which hasn't done anything to you that I'm aware of - says to me that you've let the sucky people get to you greatly. Why? I don't know. I don't know you from Eve and honestly, given your incredibly defensive attitude, I'm happy to leave it that way. I'm sorry that you are offended by my opinion, but that isn't going to change it.

allthatjaz -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/30/2010 1:25:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika quote: as well as "nobodies" like LadyAngelika You really want me to kick you in the nuts, don't you ;-) - LA Lol even I had to read what he said twice. I got it the second time though [;)]

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/30/2010 1:36:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 Look. In four pages, you've gotten opinions from two current prodommes, two former prodommes, the business manager of a prodomme, a national BDSM spokesperson, a lifestyle femdom who does demos at events in multiple states, someone whose online blog about the philosophy and reality of D/s was followed by a gazillion people -- as well as "nobodies" like LadyAngelika, Sweetdommes, or me. You know, I've never reallt thought about it like that-in my head posters are split mainly down a sensible/daft dividing line-I forget some of them have actual authorit-ay [:)]

Eigenaar -> RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? (4/30/2010 2:05:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade I have seen a few posts that liken Proffesional Domination to prostitution which makes about as much sense as thinking your waitress at Denny's is your personal slave. Most of the more notable ProDommes do not offer sex of any kind as part of the menu including myself and stick to clients who are more cerebral in thier needs for an endorphin rush. How many people know what really goes on in a session from experience not just idol speculation? I have noticed that there are some ladies who sully the reputation of this field but there are many Prodomme who do not So why keep comparing apples to oranges? Since the dictionary says sex is ''sexually motivated phenomena or behavior'' and defines prostitution as ''performing sex acts for money'' and ''the use of a skill or ability in a way that is considered unworthy, usually for financial gain'' I don´t see the problem. You don´t put clamps on the waitress at Denny´s I reckon and she does not pay you for peeing in her mouth at Denny´s. And to answer your question: I encountered several submissive women claiming to seek a ProDom and when I asked if they rather pay than have things for free they called me silly and that a ProDom to them meant a dom with a job.

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