Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when they see one?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when they see one? Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when they... - 4/6/2006 8:39:28 AM   
subapplicant


Posts: 68
Joined: 9/19/2005
Status: offline 		I've heard it said that some Dominant Women can recognize a submissive when they meet him, even in a vanilla situation, even if the man doesn't know she is a Dominant, and even if he is acting "normally". In other words, submissive give out a signal of "whip me, beat me, fuck me" even without trying.

Is this true? Do Dominant Woman see a man and go "yeah, he's probably a bottom." Is there an impression that you make instantly, and that is often confirmed?

Have you ever met a guy in a vanilla situation, recognized a certain quality, and attempted to push his buttons? Is there a "risk-free" strategy that is employed to determine if your guess can be confirmed?

One Dominant Woman told me that she knew from the first moment she met me that I was a submissive, even though I didn't make my interests known at the start. I have often wondered - did she really recognize this quality, or did she say that to push my buttons and to make my submission "inevitable" to Her?

Just wondering. Any thoughts - fully appreciated.

s
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/6/2006 9:17:52 AM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		oh yeah. not all of 'em of course, but some are practically wearing a neon sign.

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to subapplicant)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/6/2006 9:19:24 AM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		I'm sure it's possible but I wouldn't want to count on it as 100% reliable. People behave/ act differently in different situations and with different people. Some of us are even Switches.

How would that have made your submission inevitable? Maybe that was part of the allure of submitting for you, feeling that she was ahead of the game all along and you were seduced, never really had a choice.


_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to subapplicant)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/6/2006 9:19:51 AM   
subapplicant


Posts: 68
Joined: 9/19/2005
Status: offline 		And have you ever acted on that in a "vanilla" situation. Is there a level of "flirting" that goes on to test the waters?

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/6/2006 9:21:12 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		I call it the spark, its a soft deference, and gentle ache, and a beautiful willingness, I have been privillaged to see it  in male and females alike but it is rare, when I see it I feel like that song Your Beautiful "I saw your face in crowded place,.... (snip) you beautiful your beautiful your beautiful its true"

I am psychic, so I can read folks but I think that if a woman who is not psychic and is dominant sees a submissive, there is still a connection, an intangible resonance that sadly is mis interpreted by vanilla folks.

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to subapplicant)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/6/2006 9:23:21 AM   
SuzanneSxySadist


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/16/2005
From: Suzanne SxySadist
Status: offline 		Women (or men with a feminine essence) in general are more intuitive than the masculine is, and can read energy and signals that others would not pick up on. 

For me the first clue is how they carry themselves. Do they have a tendancy to meet your eyes when they talk to you or do they look away.  Confident men will more often meet someone's gaze when they talk to them and you can tell a lot about someone by the way they hold their eyes. :)

There are lots of other slient signals as well but drool on my leather thigh high boots is a pretty strong indicator.   <lol> 

_____________________________

Namaste’ Suzanne SxySadist

“Sensual sadism is an artform, the body & soul is my canvas”

http://www.sxysadist.com
http://www.shibarilover.com
http://www.nursenasty.net
http://www.smantics.com

(in reply to subapplicant)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/6/2006 9:27:55 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		On one hand I view any man has the potential to submit and so on that level yes I could/would employ tactics to push buttons and make their submission to me inevitable.  And on the other because of the way I am, act, etc it's plausible that any man attracted to me has submissive intent. 

But in answer to your question yes I have noticed a submissive quality in guys and acted upon it because I saw it.




_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to subapplicant)
Profile   Post #: 7
Submission and Confidence - 4/6/2006 9:28:48 AM   
subapplicant


Posts: 68
Joined: 9/19/2005
Status: offline 		Did I enjoy the idea that my Dominant thought from the start that I was a submissive. Yes. What of the joys of submission is release, the feeling of no longer being in control. If there is a quality that I can't hide, then there is always that delicious possibility that someone will leverage my own nature and assume control.

I was wondering about the difference between "submissive" and "confident". I generally feel confident and upbeat. Can I person be both outwardly confident but also submissive at the same time?

That is how i see myself...

(in reply to SuzanneSxySadist)
Profile   Post #: 8
Jasmyn - 4/6/2006 9:31:29 AM   
subapplicant


Posts: 68
Joined: 9/19/2005
Status: offline 		What happened in those situations? Were you always correct? Did you ever make a mistake? Did the boy respond quickly?

Thank You, Jasmyn

-s-

(in reply to Jasmyn)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Submission and Confidence - 4/6/2006 9:32:23 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		Did raise an eyebrow at that one myself.  Confidence doesn't negate subservience.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to subapplicant)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/6/2006 9:35:57 AM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		absolutely not.  First off, you don't necessarily meet them in a "dating" context.  Anther thing is that not all lifestyle folks are "out."  I am very out, and if someone wants to open up to me, feeling safe, that's fine.  But in general, I don't approach subs at all.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subapplicant

And have you ever acted on that in a "vanilla" situation. Is there a level of "flirting" that goes on to test the waters?


_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to subapplicant)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Submission and Confidence - 4/6/2006 9:35:58 AM   
subapplicant


Posts: 68
Joined: 9/19/2005
Status: offline 		I agree, Jasmyn. To me a valuable slave needs to have strength of character. Confidence, both in himself and in his core understanding of his submission, is a required quality.

(in reply to Jasmyn)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Submission and Confidence - 4/6/2006 9:37:56 AM   
talltxsub


Posts: 173
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		What about the man who has a confidant, strong demeanor, but whom you suspect of being submissive?

I know I can be intimidating in my professional life, but still there have been those women who seem to sense that hidden submissive and take advantage of it.

(in reply to Jasmyn)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Submission and Confidence - 4/6/2006 9:39:04 AM   
subapplicant


Posts: 68
Joined: 9/19/2005
Status: offline 		And isn't more enjoyable for the Dominant to "tame" a strong, confident man?

(in reply to talltxsub)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/6/2006 9:42:57 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Haven't you ever just KNOWN that someone was lying to you? Same kind of thing. Sometimes, you just know.

Fire



_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to subapplicant)
Profile   Post #: 15
The Other Side - 4/6/2006 9:46:28 AM   
subapplicant


Posts: 68
Joined: 9/19/2005
Status: offline 		The comment about knowing when someone is lying is correct. But I do have to admit - I have never recognized a Dominant Woman on first meeting her in the same way.

I wonder if it has to do with a belief that Women don't really want a submissive? the shock that ANY woman would actually live my fantasy/desire reality?

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/6/2006 10:02:24 AM   
knl4myplzr


Posts: 13
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline 		Interesting question subapplicant! 

Ok, multiple points here -

Yes, I have frequently just "known" when someone is sub.  If I want confirmation I will do subtle things, such as make direct and forceful eye contact - I'm not looking for him to break first exactly, its something indefinable in the expression for Me.  I will also invade his body space or step into him, especially if I can maneuver him in front of a solid object or wall...I may place My foot between his...his responses (leaning away, intake of breath, breathing in the scent of My hair or perfume, closing his eyes) give the confirmation I'm seeking.  I am very rarely wrong, regardless of whether its a vanilla situation or not.  Once I'm more sure, I also like to grip the back of the neck, not too gently (but not too aggressively either) and pull his head down, as if I did not hear what he said and want him to repeat it.  Usually they react strongly (and positively)to this control of the head and neck...(again see above signs).

Yes, I enjoy domination more with a man with a confident and alpha demeanor - with everyone but Me.  I don't mind the more shy ones either mind you, but they still must have a confident attitude and obvious self respect. 

Finally - I think Jasmyn has a fantastic point!  It could be in large part that submissive men find themselves attracted to dominance!  But, since I have had this feeling around vanilla guys that I met in chance encounters, it isn't the only reason.  I have had a sub friend (m) tell Me that I "exude dominance" - I can only take his word for it.  :) 


(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: The Other Side - 4/6/2006 10:02:44 AM   
talltxsub


Posts: 173
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		Some women do seem to have a radar for it....in the same way that a dominant woman stands out, I suppose.

(in reply to subapplicant)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/6/2006 10:04:29 AM   
talltxsub


Posts: 173
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		There are certainly ways to exude dominance, and many women do it.

(in reply to knl4myplzr)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Submission and Confidence - 4/6/2006 10:08:28 AM   
MistressLorelei


Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subapplicant

And isn't more enjoyable for the Dominant to "tame" a strong, confident man?


If the male has no strength, there is nothing to tame.  I would need to feel that the male has a high level of power/strength, for Me to take from him.

I think that many submissive males, regardless of their high-powered careers, or dominant ways in the business world, still carry with them  a certain respect and behavior towards Women...  an underlying desire to accomodate or please. though usually, it's not obvious enough to assume either way.

Yeah subapplicant... it's hard to believe a Woman would want a male whose goal is to please Her in every way,  who listens to Her every word and does as he is told, who spoils Her,  gives Her amazing massages, and who thinks he is the luckiest male in the world just because he belongs to Her.

(in reply to subapplicant)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when they see one? Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078