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RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/8/2006 5:07:28 PM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		Cronchintiirgress



I am a phycic <<<<, spelled so wrong, but I can sense this in many males
I do not go for the women subs so I do not sense it as strongly as I do in the
males! But it is so true someone wrote they are wearing a sign, their
eyes show it the most to me. It is fun to sense it.



best wishes to all

mons/jane

(in reply to SuzanneSxySadist)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/8/2006 5:48:38 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		ok I have watched this for 2 days as I composed My response:
 
quote:

In other words, submissive give out a signal of "whip me, beat me, fuck me" even without trying.


Here is where I take issue---the assumption that submission and the kink are synonymous---they aren't--(now My esteemed colleagues, don't flame Me here, I am going to present some generalizations for the sake of debate...)
 
There needs to be a separation made between submission and how its "exhibited"--the whip me, beat me scenario is only one and IMHO not the main one-- and to Me is not a sign of submission but only one of many ways it can be exhibited---however there are an awful lot of men in general with the "fuck me" attitude...does that make them submissive? Hardly.
 
so let's start with submission--I believe there are subtle ways one can tell that a male is one who wants to please---does that mean he is automatically a submissive or someone who was raised right?  It demonstrates to Me, that he seeks to please but to determine that he is indeed a submissive takes time--perhaps I am not intuitive, perhaps I simply don't look for it unless I choose to---
 
as for the "beat me, whip me, fuck me" that to Me is as much stereotyping as saying most men have the fuck me look.
 


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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/8/2006 10:53:36 PM   
Real0ne


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Joined: 10/25/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
as for the "beat me, whip me, fuck me" that to Me is as much stereotyping as saying most men have the fuck me look.  


i have always had a theory that on a "purely honest" level, put a 1000 people in a crowd and tell everyone to find someone most closely compatible that nature will tend to bring like minds and attitudes together even if the interaction with each other is limited to a very short period and nothing specific is talked about.

However like minds are in now way the same as beat me fuck me or any other fetish which i would agree with MH here that it is something that has to be specifically illuded to through  conversation, unlike the former. 




< Message edited by Real0ne -- 4/8/2006 10:54:32 PM >

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(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/10/2006 12:06:59 PM   
talltxsub


Posts: 173
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		The hard part in the conversation, though, is that the result often seems to be the "i wonder if".  It is one thing to think she is dominant, and another to be sure.  It is probably the same problem for a domme.

(in reply to Real0ne)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/10/2006 12:58:10 PM   
trueshadow


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: knl4myplzr

Yes, I have frequently just "known" when someone is sub.  If I want confirmation I will do subtle things, such as make direct and forceful eye contact - I'm not looking for him to break first exactly, its something indefinable in the expression for Me.  I will also invade his body space or step into him, especially if I can maneuver him in front of a solid object or wall...I may place My foot between his...his responses (leaning away, intake of breath, breathing in the scent of My hair or perfume, closing his eyes) give the confirmation I'm seeking.  I am very rarely wrong, regardless of whether its a vanilla situation or not.  Once I'm more sure, I also like to grip the back of the neck, not too gently (but not too aggressively either) and pull his head down, as if I did not hear what he said and want him to repeat it.  Usually they react strongly (and positively)to this control of the head and neck...(again see above signs).

<snip>

Finally - I think Jasmyn has a fantastic point!  It could be in large part that submissive men find themselves attracted to dominance!  But, since I have had this feeling around vanilla guys that I met in chance encounters, it isn't the only reason.  I have had a sub friend (m) tell Me that I "exude dominance" - I can only take his word for it.  :) 



Wow!  Would I just melt if a woman grabbed my neck to pull me close.  I think that the reaction of a sub would be instantly recognized.  If only there were more women like knl4myplzr around!

I am confident, assertive, and would have no trouble meeting a woman's stare.  However, I am also quite submissive to the right woman. 

So I think it would be difficult to judge without more of a clue.

The grabbing and pulling the man's head in close would definitely tell me what was going on. 

(in reply to knl4myplzr)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/10/2006 1:06:59 PM   
wild1cfl


Posts: 567
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subapplicant

I've heard it said that some Dominant Women can recognize a submissive when they meet him, even in a vanilla situation, even if the man doesn't know she is a Dominant, and even if he is acting "normally". In other words, submissive give out a signal of "whip me, beat me, fuck me" even without trying.

Is this true? Do Dominant Woman see a man and go "yeah, he's probably a bottom." Is there an impression that you make instantly, and that is often confirmed?

Have you ever met a guy in a vanilla situation, recognized a certain quality, and attempted to push his buttons? Is there a "risk-free" strategy that is employed to determine if your guess can be confirmed?

One Dominant Woman told me that she knew from the first moment she met me that I was a submissive, even though I didn't make my interests known at the start. I have often wondered - did she really recognize this quality, or did she say that to push my buttons and to make my submission "inevitable" to Her?

Just wondering. Any thoughts - fully appreciated.

s



My wife has this ability, she can spot them a mile away and have them kssing her feet within minutes.  I don't know how she does it, but it is fun for me to watch her.

(in reply to subapplicant)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/10/2006 4:58:46 PM   
TeeGO


Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline
I would not be here if this was not true. For 30 years I guarded my dark little secret. I never told a soul. About 8 months ago a neighbor, whom I was more or less acquaintance with, somehow saw the truth about me and actually got me to admit it. Now here I am and she is my best friend and Mentor-Domme.

(in reply to wild1cfl)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/10/2006 7:19:39 PM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, I recognize them

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/10/2006 9:46:31 PM   
lushusboobs


Posts: 83
Joined: 5/13/2004
Status: offline 		I think I'm very intuitive about people and the same sense that I have of "Gaydar" I have as far as bdsm people.  There was this couple I kept seeing around town that I was pretty sure was a bdsm couple and then one day I saw their pictures on this website.  I will say that I try in general  to withhold my determination though until I know people better.  Although you can sense tendancies in people with intuition that doesn't always mean that they will choose to act out their tendancies or even that they are aware of their own unconscious desires.  It's better to err on the side of caution unless they give you a definite sign.  Otherwise you could be arrested for stalking or at the very least being extremely annoying to unsuspecting people.  So use your intuition to make observations but not draw hasty conclusions.

Some things that singly are not significant but altogether can make me say hmmm...
Is very quick to offer to do favors, enjoys serving,
Has what I would describe as a feminine personality (although it is all relative),
Is somewhat compulsive,
Sometimes has a kind of bratty childlike personality,
Blushes when I intentionally bring up things that hint at bdsm,
Is very deferential at times, offering honor and respect, treating other people's feelings as very important often ignoring their own (I like to restore balance there)

I will say that I learned to avoid assumptions the hard way.  When I first started coming out of the closet as bisexual, I saw a lesbian around every corner and thought far too many men looked like they needed a strapon.  I'm glad I didn't get arrested. LOL.

< Message edited by lushusboobs -- 4/10/2006 9:59:57 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/10/2006 9:59:13 PM   
GlamourDomme


Posts: 26
Joined: 4/9/2006
Status: offline 		How beautifully put!

Quite frankly, I believe that there should be a few different phrases to identify the type of sub - e.g., in My life I have afficianados (those who enjoy pleasing Me), servants (those who do tasks as I desire) and submissives (those who do as told and fit the "public" profile, e.g., walk behind Me on My leashes, etc.).

I believe that all males are innately submissive and would be so much happier if they gave themselves a break and trusted Our (Female) vision, intuition, etc.  Society has done a terrible injustice to the male population for far too long.  It is unnatural for males to have to be (or appear to be) in control of everything all the time.  Just take a look at things on the planet...

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/10/2006 11:04:19 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline 		I've pretty much always been able to sense it (subdar??) just as they are able to sense Me and recognize Me for what I am. Many times its no more than a look, or rather the inability to look Me directly in the eyes. Sometimes its the little smirk I give when one stumbles all over himself to take care of my needs in a public setting. you know the ones that are always all too willing to get you a drink from the bar at a public function, or will scramble to find the item you're looking for at the department store blushing and stuttering all the while. I may joke or say something that can be taken very innocently in a vanilla setting but a sub will blush or react to it with, as someone else put it, a certain light in their eyes. I definitely feel there's that same subdar or Dommedar out there. I always try to push their buttons once the reaction is shown. Nothing like a little subtle public torture to liven up a boring function hmmm?



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Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to GlamourDomme)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/11/2006 2:55:43 AM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline 		Often, I can recognize submissive men when I see them.  Many of them just seem to project this "aura." 

I remember one time I was at a munch and a male who professed to be a dominant/switch sat across from Me.  I got an entirely different vibe from him though, even though he was assertive and self-confident.  As soon as everyone left the table, the two of us started conversing, and sure enough, he admitted to Me that he was really more submissive than anything else, but was too embarrassed to admit it in public.

There is another man at work who projects the "submissive aura," but I am not about to bring it up with him.  Whenever I am around, he seems to be eager to follow My lead, although W/we hardly know each other and it's kind of an instinctive thing.  We were having a birthday celebration one time and I said, "Hmmm, some coffee would be nice."  I actually was talking to Myself and planning to make the coffee.  He was sitting several feet away but heard Me, and literally jumped out of his chair and made the coffee.  Another time, a friend of Mine begged Me to help her clean out the refrigerator.  While I hate doing that type of thing, I did reluctantly agree to help her.  This man was passing by in the hall and saw us, then made a bee-line right to the refrigerator and insisted on helping (and I certainly didn't object, LOL.)   During this time, a half a dozen other males came and went from the break room, and not one other guy offered to help. In fact, a few came and stared at us and didn't lift a finger.

One thing I have learned is that a man's outward demeanor isn't always an accurate indication of whether he is submissive or not.  I have met some very quiet, unassuming men who were actually dominant, and some very assertive and outgoing men who were submissive. 

Lady Topaz

(in reply to subapplicant)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/11/2006 4:36:38 AM   
talltxsub


Posts: 173
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		How many of the Dommes have met a man who projects a very strong, dominant persona in public, yet you recognized and availed yourself of his need to submit?

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/11/2006 12:31:32 PM   
lushusboobs


Posts: 83
Joined: 5/13/2004
Status: offline 		I think that some male subs have a dominant facade that they project in order to protect themselves.  The expectations for men are very rigid in our society.  I think it is a relief for many of them to let down their hair, so to speak, in private.

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You'd look pretty in my panties...

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/11/2006 12:41:52 PM   
MstrssSatin


Posts: 71
Joined: 4/5/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Not a dark secret TeeGo...your moment of liberation  

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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/11/2006 1:17:08 PM   
TeeGO


Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssSatin

Not a dark secret TeeGo...your moment of liberation  

Oh yea!

I was of course speaking of from my mind set at that time, guilt, frustration, and shame.

(in reply to MstrssSatin)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/12/2006 6:26:08 AM   
talltxsub


Posts: 173
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		Does it appeal to you to break through that dominant facade when you find a man like that?  My professional life (lawyer) requires a very strong exterior.

(in reply to lushusboobs)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/12/2006 7:25:32 AM   
MistressLorelei


Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: talltxsub

Does it appeal to you to break through that dominant facade when you find a man like that?  My professional life (lawyer) requires a very strong exterior.


you have NO idea how many submissive lawyers are out there.  A high percentage of those who have contacted Me here have been lawyers.    I suppose having such power in a career, leaves you wanting to give it up to another.  Or maybe there is a secret course in law school that no one tells us about. 

Anyway, I find that the more strength in whatever capacity (career, intelligence, masculinity, ego, wealth), a male has, it is added power in Dominating that person.   Knowing how outwardly strong he is in his vanilla world, and then seeing him kneeling at My feet is an amazing thing.

(in reply to talltxsub)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/12/2006 7:30:49 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: talltxsub

Does it appeal to you to break through that dominant facade when you find a man like that? My professional life (lawyer) requires a very strong exterior.


Dominant or confident and assertive?

I see them as different qualities myself.

Personally those who try to protray themselves as dominant in some stereotyped way -- bossing folks around, speaking loudly, taking up room, being obvious about it -- never seem very dominant to me. More needy and insecure really, a bit of a drama queen, too. This goes for both men and women in my opinion.

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(in reply to talltxsub)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Do Dominant Women recognize a submissive male when ... - 4/12/2006 11:28:15 AM   
talltxsub


Posts: 173
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe it was that course in "serving the client"

(in reply to MistressLorelei)
Profile   Post #: 60
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