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How did your friends react to finding out you are kinky? - 5/2/2010 10:06:44 PM   
BerryDelicious


Posts: 8
Joined: 4/11/2010
Status: offline 		That is if you have revealed it to them of course.

Were the reactions positive or negative? Did you lose any friends over it?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How did your friends react to finding out you are k... - 5/2/2010 10:14:41 PM   
wirezend


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/28/2010
Status: offline 		I lost no friends from revealing I was D/s and BDSM.  Parents however... that's another story.

(in reply to BerryDelicious)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How did your friends react to finding out you are k... - 5/2/2010 10:18:23 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		As pretty much all of my friends are kinky... they already knew 

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RE: How did your friends react to finding out you are k... - 5/2/2010 10:33:43 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I segment my life, and the nonkinky people don't find out.

_____________________________

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: How did your friends react to finding out you are k... - 5/2/2010 10:41:37 PM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		All of my friends are vanilla ... and the closest (very very few) who know ... just don't wanna know. It's yucky to them. Scary. Creepy. Dirty. Evil. 

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How did your friends react to finding out you are k... - 5/2/2010 10:44:56 PM   
petmonkey


Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline 		i keep my circle small but here's a bit about how i built my social life:
A) They were people i met at kink-leaning clubs, so they were, at least,  acquainted with the concept
B) They mentioned knowing about, having other friends who or some vague (possibly joking) reference to enjoying kinky stuff themselves prior to me revealing anything
C) They didn't get why i wouldn't dish about my man/woman/sex life, thought i was a prude or a priss because i never did and we never became particularly close or continued to become any closer.
D) They had a strong inclination to not discuss sex life/relationship stuff in general very much and preferred other conversations. My bestie is like this (combined with style E), it's amazing how little needs to be said about dating if one focuses on the whole rest of the universe of topics to draw from.
E) They were my friends because they were accepting people, it's part of my criteria for friendship, so it was no big deal if i ever did flash a little "right pocket flag".

Blood family *is* a whole 'nother ball of wax for me.  For me, "that's my business" suffices, therefore i can't give any real world advice when it comes to them.


_____________________________

Be excellent to each other.


(in reply to BerryDelicious)
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RE: How did your friends react to finding out you are k... - 5/2/2010 10:54:57 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		My private life is just that: private. I don't want to know what my friends and family are doing behind closed doors, and I don't have any need or desire to tell them my business either.

_____________________________

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(in reply to BerryDelicious)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How did your friends react to finding out you are k... - 5/2/2010 11:06:06 PM   
Silence8


Posts: 833
Joined: 11/2/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

All of my friends are vanilla ... and the closest (very very few) who know ... just don't wanna know. It's yucky to them. Scary. Creepy. Dirty. Evil. 


I gotta ask... Is that really a picture of you?

I didn't know time machines could also access our fantasies of the past!

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How did your friends react to finding out you are k... - 5/2/2010 11:59:58 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		I dont wanna hear about their sex life and I have no desire to tell them about mine

BadOne


_____________________________

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(in reply to Silence8)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How did your friends react to finding out you are k... - 5/3/2010 12:46:16 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Within a few days of meeting a new group of people *someone* will start teasing me about being kinky-it's some kind of vibe. If I admit it people look kinda surprised for a minute, and then I get a little 'well I never' headshake, and that seems to be about it. I haven't had a properly negative reaction yet, but I'm sure that's only a matter of time.

_____________________________

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(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How did your friends react to finding out you are k... - 5/3/2010 2:20:55 AM   
twistedwillow


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		I don't really care what people think of me, even friends and family.
My parents do not know wistwd, simply because they are too old, and it makes them uncomfortable, and i don't wish to bring them undue discomfit. Though they are aware that I am adventurous, they don't need to know the details.

My sister knows I am kink, it shocks and titilates her, sadly she has not had a good life, or a good sex life, so she sees my going for what i want and being happy, as a positive thing, even if she can not understand the nuances of it.

My non blood family know everything about me, although they themselves are not kinky, they are open.
They love and accept me for who and what I am.

_____________________________

Jesus died to forgive our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? —Jules Feiffer
Don't be fooled by the pretty words and sweet face.. sarcasm is the norm not the exception.



(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How did your friends react to finding out you are k... - 5/3/2010 4:55:39 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I don't normally open conversations asking friends if they gave their husbands a blow job the previous night. That's tmi for me. It isn't a topic of conversation.

Do you really want to know in detail, a blow by blow description as it were, of what your coworker did the previous night? Or your parents?


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to twistedwillow)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How did your friends react to finding out you are k... - 5/3/2010 6:10:04 AM   
subjim2010


Posts: 26
Joined: 2/12/2010
Status: offline 		I was first rumbled when my mother came into my room on a blustery summer evening. At the time I was drawing a picture of the gimp from pulp fiction whilst wearing a pair of leather underpants. She was questioning the arrival of some suspect lingerie that she had found in the washing machine and knowing that she was too old to enjoy these with my father, the only alternative was that it was mine. I often used to peer through the crack in the door to watch them have sex but I had stopped when I had 50 as I felt it was time to pursue bigger and better things.

My father also was suspicious when our pet dog had peanut butter around his mouth after coming out of my room, thereafter I emerged with a brown stain on my Y fronts.

The final straw was when I had a friend over and suspended him from my ceiling. The steel girder in the roof fell in and my father faced a repair bill of close to $10,000. We tried to make a claim on the insurance, however my father was too embarrassed to admit what had happened and give the REAL reason behind the collapse of our home.

I have since moved out into a small basement flat where I am more free to perform my rituals and explore new horizons. I have been trying to arrange a 'Murder Mystery' weekend however the landlord has said he doesn't want any of 'that shit' (excuse the rude word) happening in his property. I am sure we can come to an agreement though, as I offered him a reasonable sum of money in return for his consent for the evening to go ahead. He even said he would teather one of his livestock to the outer door in case we want to incorporate it into the evenings festivities.

To anyone out there wondering - don't worry about becoming isolated, it was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life and I have never looked back. Alienation from 'friends and family' is not nearly as bad as it sounds. I like being by myself on occassion anyway so it's a win-win situation.

Yours,
Subjim

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How did your friends react to finding out you are k... - 5/3/2010 6:44:03 AM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Silence8
I didn't know time machines could also access our fantasies of the past!


Didn't you hear ... history repeats itself ... I'm in the loop ... :)

(in reply to Silence8)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How did your friends react to finding out you are k... - 5/3/2010 7:00:59 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

How did your friends react to finding out you are kinky


As WyldHrt can verify, there is no banner hung above the gate saying 'Submissive Masochistic Slut Lives Here'; our welcome mat doesn't say - 'Warning Sadist Inside - Enter At Your Own Risk'.

However we don't hide it either. We have friends who do all kinds of weird stuff that we don't share an interest. When we get a phone call from a couple who likes opera - we react by saying, "no thanks". Similarly when we are having a party - we let them know whether it is going to be "THAT" kind of party, to let them say "no thanks". Family, especially our 22 year old professional 'students', get told; "there is going to be old naked people in the pool/jacuzzi running around with floggers and whips here on Saturday night, you may want to take in a movie." We were knida hoping they'd be disgusted and move out as more about the way we live became apparent to them; however, we made a terrible mistake in raising them - they actually don't care. The common comment from both of them, one beth's and one mine, is that they've never seen us happier and hope they meet someone someday and enjoy a relationship as loving as ours. Yeah - they're STILL living here, even after we added 'karaoke' to the weird stuff our parents and their friends do when they come over to party.

Ours is a; "Don't ask if you don't want to know the answer" philosophy. Fakes, phonies, hypocritical assholes claiming they accept anyone when in reality all they accept are people and/or lifestyles in which they participate or 'tolerate'; I look for opportunities to 'out' them and eliminate them from my personal life as much as possible.

We really don't know who has "found out", but "friends" don't react at all.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 5/3/2010 7:15:06 AM >

(in reply to subjim2010)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How did your friends react to finding out you are k... - 5/3/2010 7:11:37 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BerryDelicious
That is if you have revealed it to them of course.
Were the reactions positive or negative? Did you lose any friends over it?
Well, exactly as Merc said, we don't publicize this stuff. Then again, we don't really hide it either. Those who I would choose as friends are open-minded and accepting.

We just lost some faux-friends who, while alleging to have a D/s or M/s relationship, could not cope with the reality of ours. Oddly, my perfectly vanilla children and parents reacted much better than did our kinky friends.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to BerryDelicious)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How did your friends react to finding out you are k... - 5/3/2010 7:22:16 AM   
totallyawesome


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/3/2010
Status: offline 		Only one person has ever been put off, and she just had some truly terrible experiences with some bad people in a BDSM scene when she was much younger.  So in her case it was more of a sense of "Be careful out there" than a sense of "Oh my God that is so weird I have to go stand over there now."

I guess it's been partly a matter of luck and partly a matter of my tendency to naturally gravitate toward weirdos.  Usually even people who don't express any interest in ever actually doing anything kinky themselves tend to be a little intrigued.  If anything, there's always been a little vicarious thrill-seeking on the part of some friends.

(in reply to BerryDelicious)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How did your friends react to finding out you are k... - 5/3/2010 7:28:12 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BerryDelicious

That is if you have revealed it to them of course.

Were the reactions positive or negative? Did you lose any friends over it?



I don't run about announcing the details of my personal life. There are quite a few people that do not know anything about my sexual interests and quite a few that have no clue as to the dynamics of how my relationships operate. There is zero reason for most people to know.

That being said, there are quite a few people that know more than they really ever wanted to know because they started snooping or asking questions. Just because I don't run around telling people does not mean I do not answer questions frankly. Usually begun with a "Are you sure you really want to know?"

Some people have acted odd towards me ever after, and others pretend like they don't remember that topic ever coming up. More of the second variety than the first. Some of the local guys occasionally ask questions like "Whatever happened to that really hot chick with the long black hair?"


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to BerryDelicious)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How did your friends react to finding out you are k... - 5/3/2010 7:53:55 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		If the friends are not kinky, they have no idea that i am.

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(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How did your friends react to finding out you are k... - 5/3/2010 8:01:36 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth


Family, especially our 22 year old professional 'students', get told; "there is going to be old naked people in the pool/jacuzzi running around with floggers and whips here on Saturday night, you may want to take in a movie." We were knida hoping they'd be disgusted and move out as more about the way we live became apparent to them; however, we made a terrible mistake in raising them - they actually don't care. The common comment from both of them, one beth's and one mine, is that they've never seen us happier and hope they meet someone someday and enjoy a relationship as loving as ours. Yeah - they're STILL living here, even after we added 'karaoke' to the weird stuff our parents and their friends do when they come over to party.



Karaoke might work here. They hate listening to me sing. Thanks for the idea.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 20
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