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RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 6:02:07 PM   
sweetpleaser


Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaingang

Did I miss the part where where all the red flags sprang up and were waved around, wildly flapping and making those cracking noises?

From the outside of it, I don't believe his reply. And a pretty lady like yourself shouldn't waste time with a person who is that conflicted unless you think you really have something to gain from it. If you are long distance, I'd bail on him now. There is most definitely an odor to his story.


I agree with this, I don't believe his response.  I think he was caught and chickened out.  Your response, however, was excellent.  Just reassure him often that you will still be around for him and he may feel more comfortable and eventually will come out. 

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to Chaingang)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 6:10:20 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Well since the OP has stated quite clearly that his sexual orientation makes no difference to her, or to his status as her master, I say bravo to you girl, He may have been joking, I would say drop it for now, if he is gay or bi, then you have given him a very clear sign that he will not be judged harshly or lose you over it, the next move right now is his, if he is, you have made it clear he can come out of the closet to you with no negative repercussions...and besides, just think of all the fun the two of you can have with a male sub or two....so many gay/bi men are just delicious looking (myself being the exception that prooves the rule of course)

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to sweetpleaser)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 6:18:12 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I think it's also likely that he meant the post seriously and got caught. 

But it's possible that he's being honest.

Whichever way you go, just keep the lines of communication open.  Your first response to every dip and bump should be "Let me ask him..."


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Daddysmira)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 6:22:49 PM   
Daddysmira


Posts: 10
Joined: 4/3/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks for the wonderful responses.  We've now spoken about 4 times today since I asked him about it.  We're keeping up our weekly meeting for next week.  I think he was somewhat stunned that I would stay with him either way.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 6:25:23 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Good for you girl

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to Daddysmira)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 7:36:06 PM   
wytchywoman


Posts: 510
Joined: 2/27/2006
From: Southeastern Michigan
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I think it's also likely that he meant the post seriously and got caught. 

But it's possible that he's being honest.

Whichever way you go, just keep the lines of communication open.  Your first response to every dip and bump should be "Let me ask him..."



I actually saw your thread much earlier today. I agree with LA. If he knew that you are accustomed to checking craigslist, it's very likely he posted that for you to see without taking responsibility for telling you himself.

If you don't mind being owned by a Daddy who is gay, then stay with him. I can't judge anyone. But how likely (playing devil's advocate here) is it that a gay Daddy can give you what you want?

Only you can decide that. No one else. Just you. I wish you all the happiness in the word. I don't mean to disparage gays in anyway. I only wonder if a gay man can give a straight sub what she really wants out of  any relationship.


_____________________________

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.
Ralph Waldo Emerson


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 7:39:40 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		When you stop communicating, you start dying--ask.

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(in reply to Daddysmira)
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RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 7:47:16 PM   
DomKim


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/23/2005
Status: offline 		Then just stay and obey

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 7:49:28 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		And did you mean what you said to him, that it did not matter?..Or is this just a kind of dont want to blow it if he is not, so I will just wait and see kind of thing?..be well..tempting

(in reply to Daddysmira)
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RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 8:00:33 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

He said he was joking around on the craigslist and trying to get a rise out of people.  I told him if he was I would still be fine with him being my Dom and I would not respect him any less than I do now


I agree with those who say he is probably lying and i think your answer was excellent. However if he is lying i would be more concerned that he is dishonest than that he is gay, and also that he is not able to open up to you.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to Daddysmira)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 8:06:36 PM   
Zensee


Posts: 1564
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysmira
Asked me if I thought he was and I said no.

Sounds like he never answered your question, you did it for him. Sounds like he took your wishful response and ran with it. Sounds like there are things yet unsaid.


_____________________________

"Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water." (proverb)

(in reply to Daddysmira)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 8:15:24 PM   
sweetnessforsir


Posts: 70
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaingang

Did I miss the part where where all the red flags sprang up and were waved around, wildly flapping and making those cracking noises?



nope, i see the flags.

(in reply to Chaingang)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 10:14:56 PM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysmira
Thanks for the wonderful responses.  We've now spoken about 4 times today since I asked him about it.  We're keeping up our weekly meeting for next week.  I think he was somewhat stunned that I would stay with him either way.


Hmmmm..... I think about the former International Master/slave title holders, Master Jim and slave marsha.

He's gay, she's lesbian.

If it can work for them, it can work for you depending on what your needs are in the relationship and what you desire from that relationship.

I seem to recall watching an incredibly intense scene between a gay Top and lesbian bottom and OMG I think everyone in there not actively involved in their own scene was getting hot watching... There's more to power and play than who sticks what body part into who's orifice.  Surrender and control can be gender-blind.

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to Daddysmira)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 10:15:41 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysmira

He got back to me about 15 minutes later.  Asked me if I thought he was and I said no.  He said he was joking around on the craigslist and trying to get a rise out of people.  I told him if he was I would still be fine with him being my Dom and I would not respect him any less than I do now. 

Be very careful, this sounds very lame to me. I suspect he could be gay and is terrified to come forward about it. I can tell you from personal experience someone very close to me was a closeted gay for a long time, I found out about it and he did everything to convinence me otherwise only to collapse in tears at the end of the conversation to admit he was gay. It wasn't my opinion he was worried about it was his religious family, his female sub and his Dom buddies he was afraid of finding out.

This is a huge red flag and if I were you I'd step back from this one, which is probably why he is denying it. Take care.

~Lashra

(in reply to Daddysmira)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 10:23:14 PM   
wytchywoman


Posts: 510
Joined: 2/27/2006
From: Southeastern Michigan
Status: offline 		Well. Like I said earlier, if a straight female sub can accept a gay Daddy,. then she should go for it. Not sure at all that in a few months or even a few weeks she's going to be fulfilled with it, though.

Scenes are hot no matter what  sexual preference the participants identify with. Doesn't matter if the top is gay and the bottom is lesbian. But for long term, ongoing relationships like the OP seems to want, I doubt a gay Daddy is going to keep her happy. That's up to her to decide, though.

And I will still stand by the fact that he posted what he did knowing she would read it. Easy way out from telling her himself. But that's just my opinion. Most people, other than my owner, ignore me.


_____________________________

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.
Ralph Waldo Emerson


(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 10:38:26 PM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wytchywoman
... Most people, other than my owner, ignore me.


*grins*  But wytchy, you are too cute to ignore! 

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to wytchywoman)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/7/2006 12:42:15 AM   
Vixen81


Posts: 10
Joined: 12/1/2004
Status: offline 		What a shock. I saw you post earlier ( maybe yesterday) on another site where you were just floating.
If I were you i'd just ask him straight out. Say you saw it and then ask him what it was about. Anything else is deceptive.

(in reply to Daddysmira)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/7/2006 4:15:51 AM   
acctonthelook


Posts: 245
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysmira
I think he was somewhat stunned that I would stay with him either way.


Sorry for being long here, but it's something I relate to:

Smira, I speak from experience that sexual orientation is a VERY serious thing!  It's hard to admit to oneself, deal with it internally and there's definitely the denial elimant.  He clearly stated in his post "the risk of losing her".  He clearly states "Gay" orientation vs. "Bi".  His thoughts are clearly on the "Gay" side, not "Bi".  From personal experience that post was from his heart he's just not ready to admit or surrender to it.  People don't post such a serious topic for "Fun" and to "Mess w/ people".  My suggestion, really read the words without feeling the fear or potential loss in relation to yourself.  He is definitely going through something.  I know, I went through it and it was the hardest thing for me to deal with. 
 
He knows that if he admits it and surrenders to his orientation that ultimately he may loose you. You know why?  Because he knows he won't be able to fulfill a part of you or you him.  Denial is a very scary and powerful thing. 
 
Your continuing to accept him is beautiful b/c people need love from others and especially acceptance.  I applaude you on that but you may have to love him or care for him as a friend only if he is Gay, b/c he does not mention "bi" but that he fears losing you.  What he fears is losing your company.  He clearly respects you and cares for you but sexually that's a much different story.
 
What YOU never say is how YOU really feel about it?  Don't just get hung up on accepting and caring for him.  Your feelings do matter.  Your emotional and physical satisfaction is important too.  Being a sub does not mean you have to stay in the relationship or that your are just to "deal" with it.  It really is ok, to just be his good friend, someone he can feel safe to be himself.  Whether he is gay or str8. 
 
Try in time, to honestly ponder what you want long term with him, be honest with yourself within yourself.  It's not terrible to admit to him that you may care for him or even love him, but you need someone who can fulfill a different part of you.
 
You don't explain the dynamic in your relationship.  If it is all just training vs. a sexual aspect involved also? 
 
If there's a sexual side, do you really feel you will in the long run be able to submit to him mentally and completely? Will he be able to be a dom to fulfill a part of you that's important to? 
 
When you two get together again (which I think is good for both of you) your heart or instincts will know, but only if your not looking at him in denial yourself.  Also be leary of a sexual "I'll prove it" from him.  It's what's really going on in his heart or self identification vs. the "act of sex". 
 
I wish you all the best, this is tough b/c your are not just his friend at this point.  Keep an open mind and heart and the answers will come naturally.

(in reply to Daddysmira)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/7/2006 4:33:30 AM   
Prunesquallor


Posts: 181
Joined: 10/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub


I agree with those who say he is probably lying and i think your answer was excellent. However if he is lying i would be more concerned that he is dishonest than that he is gay, and also that he is not able to open up to you.


Yes, exactly.  It's one thing not revealing something about yourself, it's quite another to lie to the person closest to you when they ask you a direct question.

A Dom who is prepared to lie to his sub is not worthy to own one.

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/7/2006 4:57:30 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Maybe set out a plate of pickles and weiners and see if he gets a gleam in his eye?
 
Just teasing. I think you did the right thing in asking him...........communication is the engine that drives great relationships, in my opinion. I hope it turns out well for the two of you.
 
Level

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)
Profile   Post #: 40
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