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RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/7/2006 5:00:45 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff

There's more to power and play than who sticks what body part into who's orifice. Surrender and control can be gender-blind.

YIK,
- Geoff

Well said.

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RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/7/2006 5:47:09 AM

windchymes

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So what does Mira do when Daddy decides he really is gay and dumps her out on her butt? I hope Mira at least has her eyes open and is prepared for ANY scenario, not just the "perfect world" one. Because when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, Daddy will do what's best for HIM with no regard for Mira's feelings.

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Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/7/2006 5:50:35 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff
Hmmmm..... I think about the former International Master/slave title holders, Master Jim and slave marsha.

He's gay, she's lesbian.

This different of course being that he was HONEST about it with her and didn't play games about it- she knew what she was getting into.

_____________________________

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/7/2006 11:21:36 AM

EvilGeoff

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff
Hmmmm..... I think about the former International Master/slave title holders, Master Jim and slave marsha.

He's gay, she's lesbian.

This different of course being that he was HONEST about it with her and didn't play games about it- she knew what she was getting into.

Ahhh... but what we DON'T know is whether or not he, himself, has accepted his orientation or if he is still struggling with it. I know, and I am sure you do as well, open and out gay men, who, in their youths denied being gay and tried, for family, for society, for themselves, to be "normal" and straight for years before finally being able to come to terms with their orientation.

If he is still fighting that battle, he has not been dishonest with mira. Hell, I was 36 years old before I could admit, even to myself, that I was a sadist. If I told someone when I was 25 "I am not a sadist", would that have been a lie?

Not then. It would be _now_ because I know, accept and proclaim this part of my life. But 19 years ago? I don't think so.

Sexual orientation for some, slaps them in the head with a 2x4 about the time they first find out what feels good "down there". For others, the decision may not come for a long time. For others an orientation may never come at all, meaning they can take pleasure with anyone of any gender, or for a few, sadly, they may never find sexual attraction or pleasure with anyone.

We need a lot more information about mira's Daddy, about where his head and heart are at, about which way his pecker points (now, as opposed to which way it was pointing when he got involved with mira), before we make any assumptions about his honesty here.

It's not an ideal situation. Few ever are. But it is an opportunity for communication, for growth, for fulfillment. As well as an opportunity for pain, tears, disappointment. How mira and her Daddy deal with this could bring great pain, or it could bring great joy. It's all a crap shoot, just like any other relationship.

I'm all for keeping an open mind and heart, and open channels of communication, along with keeping eyes and ears open, and proceeding on the basis of hope and honesty. IF at some point they reach the decision that the D/s isn't working because the orientation issue is just to much to deal with, that's okay. On the other hand, to simply cut and run because he _might_ be gay, or because he is struggling with his sexuality at the moment, is to close a possible path to fulfillment.

After all, you don't have to be sexually compatible to be someone's slave. You just have to trust and surrender. With a caring owner, a slave would be allowed to seek sexual pleasure/romance/love elsewhere.

YIK,
- Geoff

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RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/7/2006 11:39:23 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff
If he is still fighting that battle, he has not been dishonest with mira.

He's being dishonest by not telling her he's confused.

His reason to her was that it was all just a joke and didn't really mean anything. That's a lie if, in fact, he is actually confused and wondering.

It doesn't matter who he was, or who he will be- it's whether he's being honest about what's going on with himself right now. If he decided in 5 years that he's gay, then they will deal with that at that point. But if he's wondering if he's gay NOW and saying "I'm just joking, I'm not wondering now" then he's lying.

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/7/2006 12:55:24 PM

EvilGeoff

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff
If he is still fighting that battle, he has not been dishonest with mira.

He's being dishonest by not telling her he's confused.

If that is the case, then I will grant you he may be less than completely honest.

Then again, how many of us haven't popped out a little misdirection to get away from a troubling, uncomfortable, scarey subject? Most people will do anything, including lie a little, to avoid confronting something that terrifies them.

And again, the question as posted, was a hypothetical one. His answer to mira, that he posted it to get a rise out of people, that it was not serious and was certainly not about him, may be perfectly true. He may have been asked that very same question by someone else struggling with what to do in that situation and posted it to get reactions. Perhaps he has not said he asked for someone else because he promised to protect their identity so as not to raise _exactly_the_kind_of_speculation_this_thread_has_generated.

NONE of us know, ALL of us are speculating, and doing so wildly.

All we actually know, at this point, is that mira raised the question. The truth of it all we may never know.

YIK,
- Geoff

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RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/7/2006 1:00:09 PM

kittensmailbox

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Maybe it was his way of telling you

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RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/7/2006 4:23:00 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

So what does Mira do when Daddy decides he really is gay and dumps her out on her butt? I hope Mira at least has her eyes open and is prepared for ANY scenario, not just the "perfect world" one. Because when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, Daddy will do what's best for HIM with no regard for Mira's feelings.

We don't know that, though. Hopefull it would not be the case.

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RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/7/2006 6:20:33 PM

acctonthelook

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff
We need a lot more information about mira's Daddy, about where his head and heart are at, about which way his pecker points (now, as opposed to which way it was pointing when he got involved with mira), before we make any assumptions about his honesty here.

I just had to say that line is so funny! This 'is' a serious issue for mira. I don't mean to laugh but that line is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh!

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RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/7/2006 6:22:35 PM

windchymes

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Cling to false hope if you like, but I've yet to encounter a man at any time or place in my life who put another person's feelings ahead of his own wants and needs. That includes my own father.

Men look out for number one, and you'll never convince me otherwise.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/7/2006 6:29:23 PM

acctonthelook

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quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes
Cling to false hope if you like, but I've yet to encounter a man at any time or place in my life who put another person's feelings ahead of his own wants and needs.

Men look out for number one, and you'll never convince me otherwise.

Oh how I love men, but you are so right! I find that true in any relationship whether it be friends, siblings, co-workers, bosses, lovers and partners!

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RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/8/2006 8:29:47 PM

adaddysgirl

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Sounds like he never answered your question, you did it for him. Sounds like he took your wishful response and ran with it. Sounds like there are things yet unsaid.

[/quote]

i have to agree with every part of this. If someone asked me if i were gay, and i clearly am not, my first response would be 'no'. When you answer a question with a question, i think you are 'fishing' for the other's response. Mira simply gave him an 'out' with her reply. It does sounds to me there are things yet unsaid too. i just hope mira can keep in mind that ignoring the facts doesn't change the facts.

Daddysgirl

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RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/8/2006 9:50:41 PM

Sunshine119

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If the sexual orientation question is still ambiguous, and this relationship is sexual, I suggest that you make sure you think of yourself and make sure you are safe. Barrier protection is a must even if he insists differently. I've known more than one woman who contracted Hep or HIV in exactly this kind of situation.

Just because you submit does not mean you shouldn't think of your health first, last and foremost.

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RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/8/2006 10:30:42 PM

feylin

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quote:

He said he was joking around on the craigslist and trying to get a rise out of people.

Good evening:

This part actually bothered me more than the original post. So he actually enjoys lying and messing with people...enough to make it a pasttime of his?

Better minds than mine have given you better responses, but that would have been the last red flag as I left.

Hope my own paranoia is way off base. Truly.

Best wishes,
christine

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RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/9/2006 8:45:30 AM

Tigersprincess

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A few points to ponder really…

If you don’t have the trust and communication within your relationship to ask a honest question no matter what the topic… you may wish to re-evaluate the relationship in general.

If a person is posting a question of such seriousness in open forums without much detail it would be pretty much self evident to me of the needs within the person, regardless if openly revealed or hiding them, and yet when presented with a question to be sure of things the person laughs it off instantly and ‘proudly’ admits to posting such in vain attempt to get a reaction out of others… that to me only reveals lack of maturity and ability to honestly and accurately be of a status that guiding, mentoring, teaching, nurturing are all a part of.

I am guessing that He wanted you to see it for whatever reason. You communicate on the one site, and with the multitudes of sites online He choose that site to post such a question under His regular handle….no matter your feelings on straight or bi to see such a question openly posted most assuredly hurt you on some level which is what He wanted it would seem.

Trust… communication…honesty…three of probably the most important traits to any relationship -especially with this lifestyle-- but more importantly it would be unhealthy and unsafe to be in a situation with someone that lacked those…weather full time or even one time scene-ing.

I am sorry you experienced this, and hope you will take to heart the seriousness of whatever mindgame He is/was attempting and though frightening and painful.. it would be better to deal with the traits mentioned above now before moving forward… or simply walk away and have zero tolerance for a person that seems to have no real concept of the reality of his/her responbilities.

Take care

Princess
--MagicTigers babygirl--

< Message edited by Tigersprincess -- 4/9/2006 8:46:48 AM >

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RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/9/2006 10:59:26 AM

feastie

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His sexual orientation, or his confusion about it, is not the issue, as Mira has already stated she'd stay with him anyway. This is a trust issue. Ultimately, Mira, only you can decide whether you believe him and trust him. For me, the red flag is waving wildly.

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