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RE: "What a Dom/me Should Be" - 6/16/2007 11:35:47 AM

EvilGeoff

Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

Les is a pretty decent guy, I've chatted with him OL on numerous occassions. His ideals are just that, ideals. And they are HIS ideals, and he recognizes that. The guidelines he came up with are lofty and romantic and all that, and that's peachy, use them if they work for you.

MY ideals are a little more basic.

A Dominant is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedie... (nevermind that one for Dominants, I'll save that for submissives!), Thrifty, Brave, Clean and Reverent. And s/he will Be Prepared!

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to MasterRenegade77)

Post #: 21

RE: "What a Dom/me Should Be" - 6/16/2007 11:43:57 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

ALL of it is really great... BUT only for the person that wrote it.

for the rest of us... We Take what we want and leave the rest....

Exactly, and I agree with you KnightofMists.

There is a certain amount of foundation to the article, it simply inspires one to think, compare themselves, and take from it what they can.

The author "LES IS MORE" wrote this from thier own experiences and point of view on the subject. What is important if we each can write our own description of what being a Dominant/submissive/slave/switch means in our own perspectives.

For some people parts of this essay/article might appear as hogwash to others it's not. However, at least the author has a clear idea of what being a Dominant means to them and shared it with others.

I wonder how many people can honesly say, they have written such a similar essay this what their role is and means in life.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 22

RE: "What a Dom/me Should Be" - 6/16/2007 11:57:54 AM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

I say the idea that a dominant has to look out for ALL subs is plain silly and illogical.

It is the duty of a Dominant to watch over and protect all submissives

_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 23

RE: "What a Dom/me Should Be" - 6/16/2007 11:58:40 AM

PeggyO

Posts: 129
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Hello everyone,

OK am I the only person who noticed *this* particular line?

It is the responsibility of a Dominant to insure an unowned submissive
is guided to a Dominant that is suited to the submissive's wants, needs
and desires.

Are submissives unable to make their own relationship choices, seek out their own partners all by themselves? I'm sorry, this is just WAY too paternalistic for my tastes. Do I ask my friends, doms and subs alike for their opinion on someone I'm considering dating or playing with? Absolutely. But do I expect someone who has self-identified as a dominant to be automatically responsible for making sure I find the right mate? Hell no.

There's also an assumption there that every unowned submissive wants to be owned; that somehow an ownership style relationship is somehow the acme of success, the Holy Grail that all these poor, unguided little subbies should be seeking.

I don't mind people saying what a Dom/me should be in the context of their own personal relationship, but to say that they somehow have some sort of responsibility for a whole wad of strangers out there - strangers who don't even necessarily want them to be responsible - is going too far for me personally.

Be well,

Peggy

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 24

RE: "What a Dom/me Should Be" - 6/16/2007 12:29:12 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Are submissives unable to make their own relationship choices, seek out their own partners all by themselves?

Did you do star trek?

LOL

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to PeggyO)

Post #: 25

RE: "What a Dom/me Should Be" - 6/16/2007 12:45:26 PM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeggyO

Hello everyone,

OK am I the only person who noticed *this* particular line?

It is the responsibility of a Dominant to insure an unowned submissive
is guided to a Dominant that is suited to the submissive's wants, needs
and desires.

Are submissives unable to make their own relationship choices, seek out their own partners all by themselves? I'm sorry, this is just WAY too paternalistic for my tastes. Do I ask my friends, doms and subs alike for their opinion on someone I'm considering dating or playing with? Absolutely. But do I expect someone who has self-identified as a dominant to be automatically responsible for making sure I find the right mate? Hell no.

There's also an assumption there that every unowned submissive wants to be owned; that somehow an ownership style relationship is somehow the acme of success, the Holy Grail that all these poor, unguided little subbies should be seeking.

I don't mind people saying what a Dom/me should be in the context of their own personal relationship, but to say that they somehow have some sort of responsibility for a whole wad of strangers out there - strangers who don't even necessarily want them to be responsible - is going too far for me personally.

Be well,

Peggy

Also, insurance companies generally require that you own something, or at least have a vested interest in it, before you can insure it. That helps ensure that only people who actually suffered a loss when the property is lost or damaged can get paid.

(in reply to PeggyO)

Post #: 26

RE: "What a Dom/me Should Be" - 6/16/2007 2:06:04 PM

stella40

Posts: 417
Joined: 1/11/2006
From: London, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

A dom should be themselves, by definition shouldn't the dom be the one to make the rules...I define what my responsibilities as a dom are, and if there isn't a sub who agrees with my definition...well then back to the drawing board i guess, however, i have no time for long lists of what a dom should be, anymore than i have time for the lists of what a sub should be.

I agree with this 100%.

I dislike the word 'should' in such descriptions, that we all 'should' be someone or we all 'should' do something.

A Dom or Domme isn't anyone else but themselves, they call the shots, and if you can't accept it, then maybe you should move on. To me it is really that simple.

_____________________________

I try to take one day at a time, but several days come and attack me at once. (Jennifer Unlimited)

If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 27

RE: "What a Dom/me Should Be" - 6/16/2007 2:42:01 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff

Les is a pretty decent guy, I've chatted with him OL on numerous occassions. His ideals are just that, ideals. And they are HIS ideals, and he recognizes that. The guidelines he came up with are lofty and romantic and all that, and that's peachy, use them if they work for you.

MY ideals are a little more basic.

A Dominant is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedie... (nevermind that one for Dominants, I'll save that for submissives!), Thrifty, Brave, Clean and Reverent. And s/he will Be Prepared!

YIK,
- Geoff

Besides which, Boy Scouts is a great opportunity to fully learn how to tie things down/up.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to EvilGeoff)

Post #: 28

RE: "What a Dom/me Should Be" - 6/16/2007 7:44:03 PM

Joseff

Posts: 505
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

Well, if we're all going to pile on, I had a hard time reading it, and now I have a slight headache.
Joseff

(in reply to mynded)

Post #: 29

RE: "What a Dom/me Should Be" - 6/17/2007 3:22:15 AM

Deliena

Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Joseff

Well, if we're all going to pile on, I had a hard time reading it, and now I have a slight headache.
Joseff

To be fair the difficult font choice and layout didn't make that easy!! LOL

When I'm looking for a Dom to play with I expect mutual understanding of each other's wants and desires, if they match - great.. if not.. then keep looking, if the worst happens I've met someone I can talk about my desires with and perhaps made a friend. If that's the worst thing that happens to me today... I'll be fairly happy :)

(in reply to Joseff)

Post #: 30

RE: "What a Dom/me Should Be" - 6/17/2007 3:44:36 AM

simplycara

Posts: 30
Joined: 6/6/2007
Status: offline

holy patolies it sounds like the girl scout creed. I imagine we should all make a copy and give it to our "better halves" .. "here you go Sir/Ma'am" (as the case may be) .. "here are your "rules" ..". I recommend one should duck.
quack quack ...
Renegade if that works for you more "power" to you ..
to each his/ her own.
cara

(in reply to mynded)

Post #: 31

RE: "What a Dom/me Should Be" - 6/17/2007 4:01:39 AM

MistressRouge

Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

ALL of it is really great... BUT only for the person that wrote it.

for the rest of us... We Take what we want and leave the rest....

I agree with your totally on this one. I believe in many of it's context and it would be great for new, up and coming Dom/mes

_____________________________

My Members Site.
http://mistressrougeuk.c4slive.com/

http://www.clips4sale.com/store/13392

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 32

RE: "What a Dom/me Should Be" - 6/17/2007 4:03:07 AM

MistressRouge

Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline

A great article I say

_____________________________

My Members Site.
http://mistressrougeuk.c4slive.com/

http://www.clips4sale.com/store/13392

(in reply to MistressRouge)

Post #: 33

RE: "What a Dom/me Should Be" - 6/17/2007 5:56:47 AM

salilus

Posts: 201
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline

I know the person who wrote this piece - he's not a best bud or anything of that nature, but I do know him from local events and such. He means well... but he does have that, "I know this best and everyone should do it this way," mindset. It always shows in his writing.

I do agree with some of the things in this writing. I even think vanilla folks could benefit from some of these things.
I don't, however, think everyone needs to be reminded of these things. Everyone cannot be stuffed into the same dom/me shaped mold and perform like a well-trained chimp. I truly hope mine never does... I like him as is.

(in reply to MasterRenegade77)

Post #: 34

RE: "What a Dom/me Should Be" - 6/27/2007 4:58:43 PM

Dreammster

Posts: 23
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Interesting Fire Side Reading.

A bit verbose, a bit too genteel, but interesting.

Authority, once recorded, always seems so much more, ........authoritative.

What a Dom or Domme should be appears to be in the eye of the beholder or in the mind of the advertiser.

How diverse a group we find with markedly disparate views on the subtlety of executing the role of Dominant in a relationship.

Gift giving happens at parties and at celebrations. It happens on special occasions.

Submission is an attitude which is displayed with a collection of behavior.
Dominance is formed from attitude which is displayed with a collection of behavior.

Duties, Characteristics, Signs Symptoms....... you must be needing more definition in your life.
Who writes the definitions...... the Dominant or the submissive?

I congratulate all who have enscribed here for their eloquence.

_____________________________

Behavior and Attitude
These are important in all things

All else remains only a collection of baggage of curiously meaningless facts and figures.

(in reply to mynded)

Post #: 35

RE: "What a Dom/me Should Be" - 6/27/2007 5:07:32 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

Not replying to anyone specifically....

I was seriously sorry to have opened this thread. It's demonstrative of the absolute worst that online BDSM has to offer. As fiction it's a great read for those who enjoy such things (personally, it makes me gag). But portrayed as reality, it's misleading, damaging, and downright insulting.

Other than that, I liked it.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Dreammster)

Post #: 36

RE: "What a Dom/me Should Be" - 6/27/2007 5:38:41 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I have read that before. And its an essay, not a law. Enjoy it for what it is, one persos very well written views on what a Dominant should be. Take from it what you like, leave the rest for others.

I like the poem, as well.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to mynded)

Post #: 37

RE: "What a Dom/me Should Be" - 6/27/2007 6:27:40 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

Guess he's not a real dominant then. Cause anytime he's out doing car repairs he has more than a few beers and I get to drive him to the auto parts store. And you know it said a real dominant is always in control alcoholwise, so any of you out there who have ever had a couple and decided you weren't sufficiently in control to play or drive, turn in your dom license!

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 38

RE: "What a Dom/me Should Be" - 6/28/2007 2:23:25 AM

Rastimmipitwax

Posts: 69
Joined: 6/25/2007
Status: offline

I don't necessarily agree with this 100%, but on this point I am pretty adamant:

It is the Duty of a Dominant to take only the amount of submissives the
DOM can properly handle, control, love, comfort and care for.

There are far too many selfish, greedy bastards out there who bite off way more than they can chew, and it really pisses me off when I see some poor sub all wrapped up in something where she is ignored, neglected and abandoned, like a trophy on a shelf.

Even more so when I'm single

.

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 39

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