Is good grammer a reasonable standard?

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Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/6/2010 7:12:28 AM

tsatske

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I got sucked in by another friendly email last night, luring me off to chat land, and I found myself wondering if this standard of mine is unreasonably blocking me from perfectly nice guys, instead of just the con artists it is meant to block me from.

Let me be clear, by reasonable grammar, I am specifically talking about rejecting those whose grammar makes me immediately suspect that English is not their first language. I am not talk about too much slang or txtspk. that is a differant issue, causing me to suspect we have differing 'real ages' and just wouldn't be a match. I mean things like using the wrong tense, and other odd turns of language - accedintal reduncices, ect. The guy last night said 'I would like us to talk on here once in a while some each day', for instance (and every other sentence he wrote to me was simularly odd.)

I would welcome a forieghn penpal. If someone said to me 'Is my English Good? I write you from Ghanna, i hope my English is suffiecent', i would think 'Wow, a chance to talk to somone with a tottally differant cultural perspective! How cool!' I am talking about those whose odd speach is a poor fit for thier insistance, even when I ask, that they are American born and raised. Last night's guy told me He was Texas born and bred, but Educated in London.

Am I blowing off some potentailly nice guys with what actually amounts to snobbery? or are my instincts bead on?

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/6/2010 7:15:25 AM

mnottertail

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....forieghn speach thier...

Uh, truthfully; dunno.

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/6/2010 7:25:52 AM

tazzygirl

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quote:

I am not talk about too much slang or txtspk. that is a differant issue, causing me to suspect we have differing 'real ages' and just wouldn't be a match. I mean things like using the wrong tense, and other odd turns of language - accedintal reduncices, ect. The guy last night said 'I would like us to talk on here once in a while some each day', for instance (and every other sentence he wrote to me was simularly odd.)

I am not talk about too much slang or txtspk

I mean things like using the wrong tense, and other odd turns of language - accedintal reduncices, ect

your post is full of inconsistencies, mispellings and wrong tense usage. My own perculiarity is abbreviations of small words... u for you, r for are. i dont expect everyone to be a grammar major, but laziness in the simplest of words, to me, is just laziness. But these are also things i dont do myself. I am terrible at spelling, it would be a bit hypocritical of me to not talk to someone else because of their own spelling abilities.

i think if you want to score someone on their ability to write, perhaps you should practice what you want to preach to them.

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/6/2010 7:30:41 AM

IronBear

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For me there is something rather enjoyable in having a conversation with someone who can actually construct sentences which make sense and are not so lazy that hey feel the need to use txt talk or add "like in every sentence. However were I to ignore those for whom English is indeed a second or even a third language it would have missed out on meeting some amazing people from all over the world as well as many from the UK, USA and Australia. Whilst I have some issues with (hoping that none will take offence at personal preferences), ghetto talk, street talk, and "Valley Girl" talk, I take a deep breath, one pace to the rear and providing that I am able to understand what they are saying, I'll listen and again providing that I find there is something which strikes a chord with me, I'll give them a go and see how things pan out. Often enough I find that by doing so I am far richer for it.

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/6/2010 7:37:04 AM

SignaFerte

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In person, absolutely. Online, not so much. I know (and have hired) engineers who while quite intelligent, well-read, educated, couldn't write a business letter to save their damn lives. I blame the education system, not their own stupidity, so I tend to give people online more latitude with poor syntax/grammar than I would with someone speaking.

Hell, even the title of this post was wrong. It's "grammar".

On the other hand...speak to me in 1337-speak in real life, and you risk getting punched in the nose.

< Message edited by SignaFerte -- 5/6/2010 7:38:05 AM >

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/6/2010 7:43:06 AM

esoclectica

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For me, the big thing is distinguishing between bad grammar and poor typing skills. I served in the Cav in germany and know how to upgefuk my syntax like they do. I also am from Texas and have a teeny bit of bad TexMex. But I recognize what you are talking about. Odd sentence structure combined with technically correct but socially irregular word use. Remeber the politician who used 'niggardly' in a sentence? Sometimes the emails I get look like someone used a thesaurus!! Well, enuf pontification.

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/6/2010 7:49:24 AM

IronBear

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I'm oft accused of writing with a thesaurus beside me. I do indeed have on next to me than I am writing a paper or other documents mostly to locate a work which I can't remember or to choose alternate words instead of repeating the same one. But then again I come from a family which lived the English language and took pleasure in using it not just well but in a somewhat old fashion flowery manner more typical of the Victorian and Edwardian ears.

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/6/2010 7:49:29 AM

Andalusite

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As long as they have interesting things to say or write, and I can understand what they mean, the occasional misspelling or grammatical error isn't a big deal. I used to tutor English at the college level, but I occasionally write run-on sentences, if I don't pay attention. This isn't a formal business environment, and we aren't being graded!

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/6/2010 7:53:37 AM

Aileen1968

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"Grammer" is spelled wrong too...

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/6/2010 7:54:49 AM

blueeyedbbwsub

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For someone who's so concerned about grammar, your spelling is atrocious. I know not everyone has the "spelling gene" and that dyslexia and other factors must be taken into consideration. But if I see a red underline then I try to correct it. If not, I look up the word. My own anal retention, but there it is.

I was raised French Canadian, I didn't really start to speak English until i was about 4 yrs old. Yet I picked up quickly as I do most languages. I've had to translate from English to Spanish in a previous job and I know it wasn't grammatically correct but I did the best with what I knew from h/s Spanish and an English/Spanish dictionary. The effort was appreciated and it kept a small mistake from turning into a larger one.

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/6/2010 7:55:59 AM

lizi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

I'm oft accused of writing with a thesaurus beside me. I do indeed have on next to me than I am writing a paper or other documents mostly to locate a work which I can't remember or to choose alternate words instead of repeating the same one. But then again I come from a family which lived the English language and took pleasure in using it not just well but in a somewhat old fashion flowery manner more typical of the Victorian and Edwardian ears.

I have 3 thesauruses and have them out all the time in the various places I write. My kids tease me but I don't care, I feel the need to use different words as well and I enjoy putting a little effort into my writing even if it is just an email. It's my favorite reference book

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/6/2010 7:56:24 AM

tazzygirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

"Grammer" is spelled wrong too...

~grins

True. Master Ron pointed out others. i was trying to be kind and not point out more.

Besides, have you seen some of my own spelling mistakes? Im the last one that needs to point those out... lol

< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 5/6/2010 7:57:49 AM >

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Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/6/2010 7:58:56 AM

Aileen1968

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I have a ton of spelling mistakes, but I don't start a thread on how intolerable it is in others, when it is all over my post.

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/6/2010 8:03:07 AM

tazzygirl

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yeah, that sort of was my point. i dont either. i also dont hold people to expectations i cannot hold myself accountable too. (or is that to)

wait, allow me to rephrase that since i heard somewhere you should never end a sentence with a partciple.

i also do not hold people to expectations if i cannot meet them myself.

yay!!!

much better, no?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/6/2010 8:12:51 AM

RCdc

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I don't think it is unreasonable to want something specific but you have to hold yourself to account also.
Your post is full of typos and bad grammer. It's all cool and please do not take this as a dig.
I have dyslexia. It's very, very difficult to make sure that everything is typed out ok because spell checkers etc do not make allowances for that.

That said, I think that there is a big difference between someone being illiterate and someone who is just being lazy. I would welcome someone with textual or linguistic difficulties any day over a lazy text(txt) speaker.

the.dark.

< Message edited by RCdc -- 5/6/2010 8:13:35 AM >

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/6/2010 8:21:59 AM

SaharahEve

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When someone writes a letter and it's patent they've willfully neglected the most basic punctuation and capitalization rules, that indicates to me they are lazy and uninspired.

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/6/2010 8:30:07 AM

SailingBum

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I have to laff ya i knw it spellt wrng tht is typically the case doth protest to mych. With all that said Firefox IE crome all have spll chk eith in th browser or as a add on. So their is no reason to not have well splld lettrs. Proper tense and punctuation is a whole nother story.

BadOne

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/6/2010 8:43:03 AM

ishyB

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English isn't my native tongue, in fact, it's my third language.
I'm pretty fluent in it, but at the same time, I also know that I still make a lot of mistakes.

One of the things that I'm blessed with as a none native English speaker is that I don't notice other's mistakes very frequently. Especially when it comes to spelling errors, I can read over a whole post (like the OP's for instance) and never notice a single spelling error in it.

On the other hand, weird abbreviationss, txtspeach and 1337 are way more irritating to me, because of the fact that I am reading a foreign language to start with, and I don't want to godeciphere something that I already have todecipher.

I don't really mind when other people make mistakes, unless those mistakes are obviously because of laziness, like with the abbreviations, or because they neglected to use a spellchecker.

OP, I really really really feel that the VERY least you should have done before making your post was spell check it. The fact that you didn't even do that, and yet criticize others for their mistakes frankly baffles me.

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/6/2010 8:59:17 AM

SailingBum

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I just had a thought that makes me smile. Due to all the errors in the OP, the ppl that she is typing to are prolly using proper spelling and tenses she just doesn't realize it due to her lack of education. Just cuz you went to skool don't mean you learnt anythinks

BadOne

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/6/2010 10:44:24 AM

tsatske

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I actually did spell check the entry - i corrected the spelling of Grammer based on my spellcheckers suggestion.

Anyway, I am delighted by the opportunity to have a foreign penpal. My second husband had English as a third language. What I am talking about it a style of talking that leaves a nagging feeling that you are not speaking to a native English speaker, when the speaker insists that you are. If someone said English was a second language, that would be awesome. When they tell me they are in Texas but leave me with a strong feeling that they are in New Guinea, that is more the issue I have. But I wonder if sometimes it is really just bad grammer, bad spelling or quick or lazy writing giving me that feeling, and, in other words, i am wrong in my judgment. Because I really don't mind wading through standard differences in Grammer or spelling - would be delighted to speak with someone who told me up front that they are in another country. As somone said, there is dyslexia, and many genuises spell or type poorly. Really, I am asking, when this sets off my 'con artist alert button', is it likely that I am misjudging. It is not common mispellings, but a particular funny turn of speach that makes it sound like they are only pretending to be American. Again, I loe having forieghn friends, just not make belive American friends, as those are likely making belive for a reason, probably con related. The gentleman yestarday, for instance, when I told him that his modelesque pictures and strange grammer made me suspect he was in India had already told me he was educated in London, but never said, well, my English is a bit British.... he just siad, 'could we talk of something else?' it isn't exactly 'bad' grammer i'm talking about - it's things like transposed adverbs and pronouns, and the inability to use irregular plurals and verbs - but maybe, as someone suggested, the education system leaves that all too common?

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