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Hard limits - 5/6/2010 7:27:14 AM

TomCypress

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Joined: 4/16/2010
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Whats one of your hard limits you would rather not talk about or to share with others who your are not involved with

I hate to be tickled.....Hate it......makes my skin crawl (shutters)

Mistress once told me "Its mind over matter, I don't mind and you don't matter"

A Switch with swagger

Post #: 1

RE: Hard limits - 5/6/2010 7:32:51 AM

OsideGirl

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From: United States
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That would be a soft limit to me. To me hard limits are things that won't ever be done. They're things that I consider morally wrong or damaging.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to TomCypress)

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RE: Hard limits - 5/6/2010 7:33:13 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Bingo! I concur. Although I will warn anyone getting intimate enough to think they can tickle me that tickling and touching my face are no go areas and I do react negatively if someone tries it on.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to TomCypress)

Post #: 3

RE: Hard limits - 5/6/2010 7:43:38 AM

thishereboi

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Sorry, but I would rather not talk about it.

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Post #: 4

RE: Hard limits - 5/6/2010 7:47:40 AM

esoclectica

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Joined: 1/9/2010
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So many subs say they have no limits that I have developed my 3 limit test. I always ask "Really? What about K9, children and dead people?" Of course I used to know a guy whose purity test score could oly have been achieved by doing at LEAST 1 of those frequently, or 2 of them at least once.

(in reply to thishereboi)

Post #: 5

RE: Hard limits - 5/6/2010 7:49:19 AM

mnottertail

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all at once or individually?

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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Post #: 6

RE: Hard limits - 5/6/2010 8:16:47 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: esoclectica

So many subs say they have no limits that I have developed my 3 limit test. I always ask "Really? What about K9, children and dead people?"

If you even consider mentioning children in those so called hard limits... then I would walk anyway.
Blergh.
Whatever happened to fecking common sense?

the.dark.

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RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to esoclectica)

Post #: 7

RE: Hard limits - 5/6/2010 8:19:15 AM

RCdc

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I just don't get the whole 'lets limit ourselves so we can be cool!' jargon.
That is all limits are - it's about as useful as the word 'consensual' - with the same feel good factor.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to TomCypress)

Post #: 8

RE: Hard limits - 5/6/2010 8:59:49 AM

tazzygirl

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Limits are set by ourselves. How hard a limit is depends on the person pushing them.

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Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 9

RE: Hard limits - 5/6/2010 10:16:35 AM

myotherself

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From: The cold bit of the UK
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~FR~

I have hard limits - things I will never, ever do. I have my reasons for those limits, but they are valid and anyone I am with must fully understand that pushing those limits will see me walk away from them. I'm also happy to discuss with them what the limits are and why they are there, and so far have had no problems.

But there are also things I prefer not to do, although they are not 'hell no!'. Those limits (soft limits, for want of a better phrase) can be pushed once the relationship has moved on to the appropriate level, as judged by both parties. I'd like to point out that this is not "trade union negotiation"-style discussions, it's "cuddled up on sofa"-style discussions.

Usually the answer is 'yes', or sometimes 'ok, but please be aware that I might react like this, so be prepared...' I like to try new things.

It's all about understanding each other, respecting each other and taking the time to build the relationship.

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There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 10

RE: Hard limits - 5/6/2010 10:20:22 AM

tazzygirl

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Im not referring to the illegal ones. More along the lines of tickling, golden showers... the nasty little things, or just the things that set us off.

The wrong person pushing those limits will find you walking. The right one, however....

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 11

RE: Hard limits - 5/6/2010 10:22:29 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

I agree with Osidegirl and IB. Any activity that I find morally wrong is a hard limit. There is no pushing those limits. Period.

I enjoy pushing my sub's limits..but not to see if I can break them, but to see how much he trusts me with them. For instance, he may tell me his hard limit is tickling, so I may run my fingers lightly down his ribcage, with no intent of tickling, but to get his reaction. I find that over time, hard limits (Except for those that go against his moral fibre) can be tested. It comes down to trust. There were things that my former would never do in a million years, yet now he enjoys them because he learned to trust me. Knowing I will cause no harm to him was enough for him to open his mind to the possibility of a hard limit. For the record, I am talking about branding, fire play and sounds.

MoGa

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(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 12

RE: Hard limits - 5/6/2010 10:25:44 AM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: esoclectica
So many subs say they have no limits that I have developed my 3 limit test.

???????

I've never met a woman -- sub or not -- in real life, who claimed to have no limits. Maybe I need to change that to "a woman I considered even remotely dateable," because I don't ask women I'm not hitting on about what they're willing to do in bed.

I take it this is online?

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to esoclectica)

Post #: 13

RE: Hard limits - 5/6/2010 10:25:50 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself
It's all about understanding each other, respecting each other and taking the time to build the relationship.

I totally agree - I just cringe when I see people using the whole soft/hard limit terms. I seriously just want to know what happened to just saying'I don't like this'... 'This I dig a lot'....'I won't do this'. Because the whole thing about limits is obviously confusing for peeps.

You have an OP coming here and asking people to share hard limits. Not only that, they want them to share limits that they wouldn't share with anyone! How fucked up is that? Then... going on to talk about 'hating' to be tickled... how on earth is 'hating' suddenly the same as 'hard limit'?

And I know - it's all a mind fuck when it comes down to "It's mind over matter, I don't mind and you don't matter"

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 14

RE: Hard limits - 5/6/2010 10:27:43 AM

tazzygirl

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I will post my last thought now. Even morals can be subtly changed. They cannot be overridden, but its amazing what love/lust/desire/mastery... however you wish to lable it... can change what we hold dear.

I am also not stating anyone is wrong in how they define a hard limit. I just see it differently.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 15

RE: Hard limits - 5/6/2010 10:32:46 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
They cannot be overridden, but its amazing what love/lust/desire/mastery... however you wish to lable it... can change what we hold dear.

.yup.yup.yup.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 16

RE: Hard limits - 5/6/2010 11:24:23 AM

pompeii

Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline

Tickling would be, to me, a mighty soft limit!

Hard limits would be, for many of us, scat, kids, different species, etc.

For some of us (like me), hard limits would be pain, marks, anything more than an hour or two, anything including different sexes (there seem to be more than two at times), and exit-only orifices.

Other than that ...

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 17

RE: Hard limits - 5/6/2010 1:00:57 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

One of my very ex-wives used to have a very hard limit with any man she was with.. "If it isn't hard enough to hold up a wet bath towel, you are not going to poke it in me!"

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 18

RE: Hard limits - 5/6/2010 1:10:04 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

Is that why she is an ex?

( i tried to resist that question... i just couldnt!)

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 19

RE: Hard limits - 5/6/2010 1:13:08 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline

So we should do things we don't enjoy, or find distasteful or morally wrong? How about doing things that are illegal and could get us a massive prison sentance, like killing someone.

Cause that's what limits are for, to make clear things we do n't want to do, wouldn't do, or would be a hell fucking no, that's way against my morals type things.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

I just don't get the whole 'lets limit ourselves so we can be cool!' jargon.
That is all limits are - it's about as useful as the word 'consensual' - with the same feel good factor.

the.dark.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 20

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