RE: Hard limits

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Hard limits

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Hard limits

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Hard limits - 5/7/2010 9:31:56 AM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

Anything gay or anal. Drugs. Playing with electricity is a no no too. Seems dangerous.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to TomCypress)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: Hard limits - 5/7/2010 9:39:57 AM

mikeyOfGeorgia

Posts: 451
Joined: 3/8/2009
Status: offline

fear of my hard limits not being observed and adhered to have prevented me from venturing offline. especially the "NO MEN" part.

(in reply to slavekal)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: Hard limits - 5/7/2010 12:22:44 PM

marylynn

Posts: 84
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline

only HARD limits are scat, kids, and animals.. everything else can be .. bent

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: Hard limits - 5/9/2010 8:50:38 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

Carol and I don't really distinguish between hard limits and soft limits. There are only "limits". The "soft" kind aren't really worth discussing in our dynamic.... I tend to ignore them. The hard limits aren't really visible to us. Anything that would reasonably appear in the latest Saw movie is right out *chuckles*. I suppose more generically, anything which would absolutely and immediately result in physical or emotional harm to her or others is out. The qualifiers on that sentence leave some pretty broad parameters. Honestly, she trusts me to tell her what her limits are. The guideline I've given her is:

What Jeff says is right, is right.
What Jeff says is proper, is proper.
What Jeff says is good, is good.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to TomCypress)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: Hard limits - 5/9/2010 3:41:54 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

mikey, your limit about men is far more likely to be broken online than offline!

(in reply to leadership527)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: Hard limits - 5/9/2010 7:27:55 PM

mystsshykitty

Posts: 24
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

I have a silly hard limit. I can't stand to have my chest and nipples slapped, cropped, anything stingy. I discovered this durring an awesome bondage scene, My Mistress started sensation and hitting my back and back side, walking around to the front. and started slapping my nipples and chest with a riding crop. I went form subspace to angry in the blink of an eye. Never have been able to explain it. I coded Red and we ended the scene.

see i told you it was a weird one. :D

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: Hard limits - 5/10/2010 8:05:45 AM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

I know a lot of women who have very sensitive nipples, and who get emotional about it, so I don't think it's weird or bad for a man to have a similar response. You might find that you can build up your tolerance if you mix sting with thud, or have very light sting there, but it's fine to set it as a limit if you feel the need, particularly with a new partner.

(in reply to mystsshykitty)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: Hard limits - 5/10/2010 8:20:02 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

So many subs say they have no limits that I have developed my 3 limit test. I always ask "Really? What about K9, children and dead people?" Of course I used to know a guy whose purity test score could oly have been achieved by doing at LEAST 1 of those frequently, or 2 of them at least once.

None of those are necessarily limits for me (regarding kids as being "those under 18"), and the first is actually a big kink of mine.

I also do not have "hard" or "soft" limits. There are things I won't do and things I am open to discussing. I think it's more important to discuss safe sex methods and how to handle unwanted pregnancy than it is whether you're ok with piss. Things like changing your religion, family contact, making a vegetarian eat meat, becoming non-monogamous are really more important and yet so less discussed than the "checklists" of kinks.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Andalusite)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: Hard limits - 5/10/2010 9:16:04 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

Cause that's what limits are for, to make clear things we do n't want to do, wouldn't do, or would be a hell fucking no, that's way against my morals type things.

I don't involve myself, let alone give myself to, someone whose way of living is "hell fucking no" against my own morals and ethics.

Instead I met someone whose moral compass matches my own, and I got to know him well. I'm pretty confident "killing someone" isn't going to be among the things he requires of me. We're pretty well on the same page that things which will cause physical or emotional harm to me will not be done. He has my best interest at heart, and I have trust in that. Add to that, we constantly talk about stuff, so if I have serious concerns about something he wants, we discuss it. With that understanding, there's no need to comprise a list of No-No's for him. We are in sync with creating a relationship that fulfills both of us.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: Hard limits - 5/10/2010 9:26:50 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Limits are set by ourselves. How hard a limit is depends on the person pushing them.

IMO it depends on how serious I set them in the first place...

With my fibromyalgia I am unable to do severe bondage...had it once (before I was diagnosed, got diagnosis once my symptoms worsened significantly compared to that time) simply as a little touch can already hurt like mad on certain parts of the body (can be the case when you poke me in my upper arm to say hello, already). Therefore tie me up like a parcel and the pain gets unbearable as then I have 50+ such pressurepoints which hurt due to the pressure from the rope on the skin.

In 2005 (3 years before the diagnosis) I was tied up quite well and gosh was I desperate to get out of it NOW...not because of a bit of discomfort but simply as my body felt like being in fire...thankfully that guy realised I am in no way joking and got me out of it asap but still for plenty hours afterwards parts of my body stayed stiff...therefore there won't be anyone pushing anything with me...it is my hard limit and stays there...anyone trying to push that is out of that door in my life very fast big time...

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: Hard limits - 5/10/2010 8:41:49 PM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

hmmm.......hard limits......that would have to be SPIDERS. Anything with 8 legs cannot be natural!........opps, this was supposed to be hard limits and not greatest fears!

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to TomCypress)

Profile

Post #: 51