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RE: Begging - 5/9/2010 9:22:49 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

Bugger your dom... I want to know if you have done your homework.

the.dark.
(.sorry-couldn't resist.)


Isn't this homework? Last time I checked, surveying is a form of research, and an efficient way at that. Props to the OP.

To answer the OP, I would say that from my perspective, the best begging in the world is authentic.

- LA


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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to RCdc)
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RE: Begging - 5/9/2010 3:58:53 PM   
daughterofdark


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I ended up researching before I posted this, on google I typed in "BDSM begging".  It gave me a few useful sources, but I'm not sure if they'll help me improve or not.  Honestly, I am going to be asking him what exactly I can do to improve, because I really don't find fault in it, and also I too sound like a really really bad actress when I attempt it.  So...

(in reply to BlackTigerDragon)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Begging - 5/9/2010 4:02:30 PM   
daughterofdark


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Thank you very much for coming to my defense.  I figured why not go out and see what others do when asked to beg, and the responses I got were kind of helpful.  :)

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
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RE: Begging - 5/9/2010 4:17:36 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
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quote:

Isn't this homework? Last time I checked, surveying is a form of research, and an efficient way at that. Props to the OP.

It was a joke, LA. The OP's screen name is "daughterofdark" and the comment was made by "the.dark"


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(in reply to LadyAngelika)
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RE: Begging - 5/9/2010 4:39:41 PM   
subrob1967


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackTigerDragon

I don't see how one can 'not do it right' when it comes to begging. How can you beg 'wrong'?

And how exactly do you 'research' begging?


It's easy to do it wrong, if you can't get into the head space it takes to be a convincing beggar.
Not only do you look and sound foolish and more importantly, sound insincere, but it can often ruin the moment.

Some people can beg great, some really suck...I really suck at begging.

(in reply to BlackTigerDragon)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Begging - 5/10/2010 3:23:58 PM   
sweetsub1957


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Joined: 4/28/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957
i don't know what you're already doing or what style of begging He likes, so i don't know what advice to give, but this is what i do..... i don't just beg with words. i use words, and also beg with my eyes and my facial expression, my tone of voice, and my entire body using body language too. i've had more than One tell me i'm a very good begger, but it depends on what your Dominant likes.

~sweetsub~

i'd like to add to what i said before. i agree that, if you don't really want something, it would feel like lying and, in fact, would be lying to beg for it like you want it. i'm thinking if the Dom/me can create in me the mindset where i really need whatever it is, effective begging is a lot easier. If you really do want something badly, it is a lot easier to really beg for effectively.

~sweetsub~

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In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

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(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Begging - 5/10/2010 5:34:25 PM   
pegbundy


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I have to say that begging was really the first "pushback point" I have run across. It does not come naturally and was not something I wanted to learn either. My Master has helped by getting me to the right headspace and then telling me what he wants to hear. This is helping me to overcome my resistance and I am (hopefully) improving. Of course, I've no idea if what works for me will work for you.

(in reply to daughterofdark)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Begging - 5/15/2010 1:11:51 AM   
usefulidiot


Posts: 12
Joined: 10/25/2008
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quote:

To answer the OP, I would say that from my perspective, the best begging in the world is authentic.

- LA


I agree. But wouldn't this require real despair? Is it still authentic if begging is consciously used as a tool to reach a certain goal? I suppose sub can live on without those desires being fulfilled and Top will stop doing whatever it is when there is a high risk of doing serious damage. Now i guess one can inflict a lot of pain without doing physical damage. Would begging help? Would i even think of begging while being busy swallowing that pain?

I think begging for something to stop may help to 'learn' begging, but maybe the Top rather wants begging for something to happen which is quite different imo.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Begging - 5/15/2010 2:19:07 AM   
porcelaine


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Joined: 7/24/2006
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daughterofdark,

quote:

I apparently don't do it right, I suppose.  Or at least not to His standards.


Did you ask for clarification or was any feedback provided on the areas he found unsatisfying?  

quote:

How do you improve upon a skill like begging?


My inefficiency at begging was largely due to a misplaced belief that I was above the act and there was little reason for me to express myself in that manner. I usually tried to get around it. If you harbor any notion along those lines or believe that doing it makes you look foolish, weak, and what have you, you're going to have issues. That doesn't mean that some of this isn't natural, but the context of the act shouldn't be forgotten. You're doing it to please him.

quote:

Is it something that should just come natrually when a scene has gone to far?  Is it just that He might want to feel the power I've given Him over me?


It could be all of the above, but before you figure it out you have to ask yourself if you're sincerely feeling those things? I mean, if you're being physically intimate, has anything taken place that might inspire you to plead? In my opinion it should feel natural, but in the beginning it may not. If you start attempting to insert the words just for the sake of doing so it could come off horribly staged.

This is the area I was usually asked to beg and I was pretty pitiful in all honesty. I didn't like asking for something, I just wanted it to happen. The ego tells you some really odd things if you allow it talk too much. I clearly don't have that problem, but what rid me of those ideas was the necessity to beg for other reasons. You see, in some respects, begging comes off well when you have something worth begging for. I'm not talking about the person, but some element you really yearn to have that he holds in his grasp. If you apply the same concept to your situation, it will start to make sense.

If you crave him in the physical sense and that yearning takes precedence, articulating it won't be a challenge for long. Nor do you worry about being overly eloquent or getting the words right. You simply say what you feel - unedited- and raw on occasion. I think illustrations such as these are generally considered heartfelt and appreciated by the dominant. The other part of it is recognizing where your stumbling block rests. Some people have difficulty because they want it to sound perfect. Unless he's given specific instructions which pinpoint that ideal, I wouldn't linger on it too much.

It can be practiced and you might find that altering your stance and introducing other elements helps. Maybe you're dressed a certain way, perhaps you're kneeling. See how each change resonates within you. You may discover that certain alterations heighten the senses and make you feel more vulnerable than others. Don't ignore them.

I can tell you what works for me but it isn't glamorous. I'm pretty logical. I'm a slave and because of that begging isn't a right, but a privilege he's afforded that allows me to be heard. It is a clear demonstration that I have the stage and he's all ears. So I put my best foot forward and make certain I offer something worth paying attention to. I taste the words and allow the meaning to flow through me. Between each uttered syllable I'm cognizant of one fact - I'm serving him.

Best of luck.

~porcelaine


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His will; my fate.

(in reply to daughterofdark)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Begging - 5/18/2010 12:06:37 PM   
BabieGothika


Posts: 41
Joined: 5/10/2010
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 Kneel and ask him for mercy.
   You can say:" please, papi, pleaseeee""
  and do some serious beggin, hehehe

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Begging - 5/19/2010 2:28:52 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline
original porcelaine: "My inefficiency at begging was largely due to a misplaced belief that I was above the act and there was little reason for me to express myself in that manner. I usually tried to get around it. If you harbor any notion along those lines or believe that doing it makes you look foolish, weak, and what have you, you're going to have issues.

i totally relate to that... i had to learn to beg too, my problem was indeed arrogance and this stupid childish notion that i did not want it anymore if i had to ask for it.

i learned the hard way that i will not get certain things unless i ask for it... and ask for it in a humble way too... He does not ever feel like giving in to any demands and He is not eager to look out for hints.
eventually i realised that i had to get over myself

It is very difficult to swallow your pride and ask humbly and cincerely for what you want. As long as you feel selfconcious about it and 'act' in a way you think any man would like to see a woman beg it will be a killer... you have to believe in it.

I would not start with begging for release because there is the danger that the feeling that you wanna cum will just dissapear and things will be spoilt.
But you can ask for permission to cum before you are close... you can ask him if he will please play with you, to me it was a matter of getting used to my own voice saying things rather than being a good begger.
If you start with asking rather than flat out begging on your knees, it is more like talking dirty... asking for things in a humble way...
Start with some fun; ask him if you may please suck him and if he says no... will you rub along his leg like a kitten and say please? or offer instead if you can please suck his toe and work your way up?

i agree with the people who say that your man should give you some direction aswell.
i find it a lot easier to beg if my man eggs me on a bit... if i ask for something and He says: oh you're feeling horny are you... tell me what you want
i am inclined to continue
if i ask for something and He answers bluntly NO i am inclined to withdraw and sulk a bit.
it is after all a game between two people


(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 51
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