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People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/6/2006 8:56:48 PM

Phoenixandnika

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline

I am sitting here angry and confused.

A very close friend one of my best has been coresponding with a "domme" for almost 7 mths online and over the phone. They had begun planning to meet in face to face this summer.My friend had wanted to meet earlier but the Domme said she could not because of finacial obligation and because she had custody of her minor neice. My friend caught the woman in a lie and confronted her and seems everything was lie.

The woman is a child - she is 15 years old!

My friend is devestated.

Doubting her judgement.

Doubting herself.

She told me she has showered 5xs since finding out earlier tonight to scrub the feeling away.

I have not been this angry in a very long time.

I know the internet allows people to hide from their reality. To mask it - to become something.

I sit here wondering howmany people I have spoke to from this site that wont meet after conversations online or over the phone - make excuses simply to hide their reality.

This is wrong.

Wrong.

Wrong.

For 7 months my friend has been feed lie after lie after lie.

A woman who was getting her life back together and did not hide that fact.

She deserves more than this.

And I feel so helpless.

I want to reach out to her to protect her but I dont know how.

I've told her to come stay with me and my Master for a few days - if she wants. I want her to know my door my phone is always there for her without her feeling like I am pushing.

I love her to death.

She is so much like me and that scares me in alot of ways.

I just do not understand how someone can lie day after day - where everything that comes out of their mouth is a lie.

I just do not get.

I guess I am making this post to remind people to be aware things are not always as they seem. That if someone wont meet in real life after a reasonable period if they always have convient excuses that perhaps there is another reason. That sometimes voice is not enough to verify who a person is. To remember that their are liars and predators and creeps in the world and the internet gives them a place to lurk and become who every they want.

Nika{Phoenix}

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."

Post #: 1

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/6/2006 9:05:00 PM

sweetnessforsir

Posts: 70
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline

no, they are not. i find the r/l community is not either . . . but a quitter never wins . . .or so i have been told lately.
s.

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)

Post #: 2

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/6/2006 9:10:03 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

I still say, people should spend the 30 bux and get a background check done - would save lots of grief.
Plus webcam, plus plus plus any other little thing you can think of to make sure the person you are talking to is really who they say they are...perhaps a copy of their photo licence?

Like who cares who your talking to if its just for fun and games but if the person is seriously considering being serious with this person, they gotta get serious about seriously checking them out, seriously.

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to sweetnessforsir)

Post #: 3

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/6/2006 9:12:18 PM

wytchywoman

Posts: 510
Joined: 2/27/2006
From: Southeastern Michigan
Status: offline

I don't think most of us need to be told there are liars everwhere. I regret your friend was taken in though. I only come on this board to chat. I don't depend on it to meet any potential partner.

It's much more reliable to actually drag yourself out from behind a computer if you really want to meet someone to have a relationship with. I don't care if you're from "Dipshit, USA". There's really no excuse that most people can't find a way to get to some real life group and meet real life people these days.

edited to direct my post at the OP rather than the poster I initially replied too. I should go to bed. My eyes are crossed. I hit the wrong button to the wrong poster, but my answer still stands to the OP.

< Message edited by wytchywoman -- 4/6/2006 9:20:57 PM >

_____________________________

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to sweetnessforsir)

Post #: 4

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/6/2006 9:12:44 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

yes it's wrong... But worrying why a person does it is not going to help. What you need to do... is help yourself and your friend learn from the experience. Learn so that you can both avoid such an experience again. But, most of all, help your friend to forgive herself for her mistakes in judgement! Put the responibility where it belongs. Remember it is a very rare situation when the mistake is all one sided.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)

Post #: 5

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/6/2006 9:27:36 PM

sweetnessforsir

Posts: 70
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline

yes, but my point is that r/l is not incredibly different from the op's complaint. . . and i spend most of my time there.

s.

(in reply to wytchywoman)

Post #: 6

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/6/2006 9:38:15 PM

scratchingpost

Posts: 231
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

I am sorry your friend is hurting. Just be there listen and be as understanding as you possibly can for her during this time. Real time can be just as devestating as on line....There are no guarantees in life...we all must take risks sometimes and in that there are consequences. Sometimes those consequences are amazingly wonderful...othertimes disaterous however one thing is for certain, if we give up...there is nothing left. In time your friend will heal, be a little more cautious, a little more jaded (unfortunately), and a little wiser and stronger for this experience.

I wish her the best of luck. I wish her heart heals swiftly and most of all I wish that she one day regains the ability to trust herself and to find hope again and dare to dream again

_____________________________

be safe and smile
purrrs kitty
(=^.^=)
www.misskittys-scratchingpost.com

(in reply to sweetnessforsir)

Post #: 7

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/6/2006 10:08:54 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

I still say, people should spend the 30 bux and get a background check done - would save lots of grief.
Plus webcam, plus plus plus any other little thing you can think of to make sure the person you are talking to is really who they say they are...perhaps a copy of their photo licence?

Like who cares who your talking to if its just for fun and games but if the person is seriously considering being serious with this person, they gotta get serious about seriously checking them out, seriously.

I totally agree with you. KNOW who you are dealing with, do those background checks, get confirmation of employment find out who these people are. If they are who they say they are and they are serious about making a committment to you, then they should have no problem whatsoever in doing this. On the flip side they may ask the same of you, so be prepared for that.
I've seen people get burned big time by not knowing that other person before selling all they had and packing up and moving only to find the Master of their dreams is Master of Financial Nightmares.
Be safe and use common sense all relationships take TIME, never rush into anything that you want to last a lifetime.

~Lashra

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 8

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/6/2006 10:23:16 PM

keptcaged

Posts: 44
Joined: 4/23/2005
Status: offline

Please tell us if you know, or if you can, what happened to the little twat?
Did some adult throttle her or is your friend pretty much hoping she just fades away and dosen't resurface with some "I'm the real victim" song and dance?
Remind me, why don't we stone people to death anymore? (probably do on pay per view)

_____________________________

"Is there anything else i can get you m'am?"

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 9

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/6/2006 10:26:14 PM

slavetobetrained

Posts: 20
Joined: 10/23/2005
Status: offline

i met a so called "Master" on another chat site back in 7/2005. within 6 days of chatting online and the phone, he was declaring his "love" there was a huge fight on the phone, and i hung up on him, then emailed him a goodbye. he wrote me back stating that i was a "player" and that i "made him want me". we emailed back and forth for that entire day, i told him that declaring that he "loved" me after knowing me for only 6 days freaked me out. then he told me that since he failed me as a "Master" he wanted to know where i got my information. i emailed him all the titles of all the books that i had read and even offered to send them to him. eventually we got to talking and decided to be "friends". our "relationship", if you can call it that was often filled with disagreements. mostly because something wasn't sitting right with me about him and i was not listening to my instincts as i should have. we discussed meeting, he lives in Alaska. about a week before i flew out there to meet him, he collared another "slave" that he had been talking to for 4 days, whom he met here on CM. he didn't tell me SHE did. we got into a huge fight and i still ended up flying up there. i spent a week in Alaska. we met every day for lunch and got along. then on a Friday night i went to his home and we "played". he had a cane, rather a walking stick that was handcarved and when he struck me with it, it broke. this was a HUGE clue that this so called "Master" didnt' have a clue as to what he was doing or knew anything about the life. he even ordered me to meet his wife and family, and attend a bible study at his home the day before i was to fly home. even though he was aware that i didn't want to meet the wife, family or his church members. as his slave, i did what i was told.

over the course of this "relationship" this man lied to me about everything and anything. and what really pissed him off what that i questioned everything. he even had his friend send me an email chewing me out. i wasn't the one playing games, he was. i had a feeling i just couldn't shake. eventually talk turned to me moving up to Alaska to be with him and serve him. still i had a feeling that something wasn't right. and the more i questioned, the more we would fight. i found that he had been seeking other slaves on other sites, and the one that he collared before i flew to meet him, had me get in touch with her to get advice to be a "better slave" to him. eventually i got released. and she stayed on as his slave. he brought another slave whom he had been in touch with for some time, even before i met him and this slave that he collared from here, started her manipulative games with this slave, eventually she was released as well.

i didn't speak to him but a few times for the few months that i wasn't his slave. then a month ago we started chatting again, and he acted like nothing had changed. he told me about this slave he had, that she would be the "class" soley for his use and i would be the "whore" - literally. he told me that this woman, is a model, is a teacher, and had "money" but that she was in love with her ex husband still but that he was "on his last legs" and didn't want to take her son away from him. that she was living with her current husband in his trailor until her "divorce" was done. well, from the pic that he sent me, she was no "model" and she certainly didn't have "money" there was paneling in the background of the picture of her living room. i pointed all this out to him, and all he could make was excuses. then a few weeks ago he sent me a message telling me that his wife told him that she wanted to "work on their marriage" i was absolutely devistated. this man knew that i had fallen deeply in love with him.

i still had the one slave's number and i called her and got the scoop. i found out that this slave that he has now is planning to move up there to be with him. that he is going to let his friend impregnate her (she wants to have another child, he can't as he had a vasctomy) and that they hope that its a girl, they have even picked out names. he plans on training that child as a slave and eventually that child will serve him sexually as well. the plan is that it will be him, her and his friend. from what i have been told, not only is she a teacher and model, but she is a neonatologist. he is in love with her. his friend is in love with her too and if he didn't want her his friend would take her. from what i can gather, the "money" that this slave has is what he is really after. he dumped me for "money".

this so called "relationship" ended badly. he was nothing but a player, user, and liar. he was no "Master" and has no clue as to what this life is really about. he believes all the lies that he tells. and i am sure that he is doing the same to others that he is in contact with. i just hope that they get out quicker than i did, and don't get a hurt as i was. this experience has left me quite shaken and i am lucky to have escaped. barely. i will bare the scars of this "relationship" for a lifetime. even though i know what kind of person that this man really is, and i can see through all his lies, i do love him. i will for the rest of my life.

what comes around goes around.

(in reply to scratchingpost)

Post #: 10

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/6/2006 10:34:07 PM

wytchywoman

Posts: 510
Joined: 2/27/2006
From: Southeastern Michigan
Status: offline

I must be stupid despite the fact that I'm 50 yrs. old. I met my current owner on eBay of all places! I never had a problem other than he tried to outbid me on a flogger.

He wound up with the flogger and me in the end. I don't regret that for a minute. I was lucky. Maybe because I am old enough to tell the difference between a player that lies and someone who really knows what they want.

Still I will say, for the most part, get out from behind that computer and take a walk in real life. Don't condemn people who like to wank off. If you let them, they will. Most of us know how to distinguish them from the real thing, though.

A lot of people haunt sites like this thinking that they can get someone. Learn to tell the difference betweeen the real ones. I hate to see anyone hurt, but please don't rage about it. It happens. Doing a background check limited to the resources of the Internet is almost useless.

People need to learn to use their natural instincts.

_____________________________

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to slavetobetrained)

Post #: 11

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/6/2006 11:35:41 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

What I found interesting here is that a fifteen year-old female acted as a Domme for nearly seven months to an older woman. Quite a mind in that young one, it would seem.

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)

Post #: 12

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/6/2006 11:37:22 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

Yeah I found that interesting too

makes you wonder what they talked about mostly *grin*

Is that horrible of me to think that? If so, sorry.

< Message edited by slavejali -- 4/6/2006 11:39:34 PM >

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 13

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/6/2006 11:44:02 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

well rest assured i am just exactly what I pretend to be...an ugly opinionated and bitter old bastard...

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)

Post #: 14

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/6/2006 11:47:56 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

Yeah I found that interesting too makes you wonder what they talked about mostly *grin*

Is that horrible of me to think that? If so, sorry.

I certainly don't think so. Personally I don't feel the budding point of natural curiosity, ability to comprehend or partake in sexual pleasure or fantasy suddenly begins magically at age eighteen. I know I was a pretty scary little critter at thirteen, and I've seen children younger than ten befuddle adults four times their age.

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 15

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/6/2006 11:50:48 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

you are right amayos, I had a friend (of age) who was guardian to a girl (underage) who was and is the dirtiest little minded thing you could ever meet.
I first me t her when she was 12 and she was NASTY then...age has nothing to do with imagination, libido or inclinations

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 16

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/6/2006 11:55:01 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

quote:

Orginal Quote: Arpig
well rest assured i am just exactly what I pretend to be...an ugly opinionated and bitter old bastard...

You freak me out Arpig, you look like my late husband...and sound like him too sometimes (although I did love him dearly) grin

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 17

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 12:15:43 AM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

You can literally know everything about someone that you can possibly know online and still find out they are leading you on. My one and only online experience and never again.

Quiters never win, idiots never learn. You just toss for advice.

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 18

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 12:25:27 AM

UtopianRanger

Posts: 3251
Status: offline

quote:

but a quitter never wins . . .or so i have been told lately.

That's an understatement.

- R

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton

(in reply to sweetnessforsir)

Post #: 19

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 1:00:19 AM

DragonNphoenix

Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger

quote:

but a quitter never wins . . .or so i have been told lately.

That's an understatement.

- R

Tell me about it. We had a girl that we met here and we had plans on her coming to visit, did all the 'safety' things one can do online... everything. Then 'POOF', she dissapears. No email, no im, nothing. Even changed her profile, removing our names from it. Low and behold... she imed us lastnight... saying that she would like to chat!! No figure, huh? Gave us a line that she has been busy and without a computer... yeah right. But she had time to update her profile. Whatever!!

1st Girl Phoenix

_____________________________

**Pain is just pleasure with a twist**

(in reply to UtopianRanger)

Post #: 20

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