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RE: Maybe I am a Whore! - 4/8/2006 3:43:43 AM   
themischievous1


Posts: 151
Joined: 4/3/2005
From: San Antonio, Texas
Status: offline 		Best wishes, Susan. I'm glad you're taking care of yourself and are beginning to feel better about the hurtful letter.When that kind of poison seeps out of another human being, it's usually because they are inwardly eaten up with some pretty negative things. The person who wrote that is pitiful. You, on the other hand, have a wonderful life ahead of you to look forward to. Enjoy every moment of all the new experiences you are going to encounter.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Maybe I am a Whore! - 4/8/2006 5:43:47 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		That is so nice of you to say. Thanks. - Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to themischievous1)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Maybe I am a Whore! - 4/8/2006 6:51:59 AM   
KYsissy


Posts: 781
Joined: 5/12/2005
Status: offline 		"When my husband got sick, the only reason I stayed was that getting a divorce seemed too complicated at that point. He also he really did need me around and it would have been completely cruel to leave at that point. I thought also that since almost the entire marriage had been a failure (at least from my perspective) it was a chance to do at least one little, last thing the way it should be done. So I did. But mostly because it was inconvenient to leave at that point, not because I am some noble heroic person."

Not many of us are "noble heroic" people. Many of us are honorable people. You did the honorable thing and stayed with him and took care of him. You say you did it because it was inconvienient to leave, are you sure about this statement? I couldn't turn my back on someone who had been  a part of my life and walk away under those circumstances, as you say it would have been very cruel. It sounds to me like you are of the same mind. 

You made a promise with your wedding vows, you kept it. You stayed in a marriage that wasn't the best and tried to make it better. You took care of a sick individual who you would have rather ended the relationship.

Does joining CM invalidate all you have done and make you a whore? 

I will say it again, you are honorable.



(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Maybe I am a Whore! - 4/8/2006 7:22:41 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you I appreciate that from the bottom of my heart. - Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to KYsissy)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Maybe I am a Whore! - 4/8/2006 4:06:55 PM   
bignipples2share


Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with KYsissy, you could have just walked out at any time you wanted after he got sick and said the hell with getting a divorce, what's the difference. Yet you stayed.
There are several steps when you grieve and this letter only hit you at a vulnerable time.
There are several sites if you google 'the different steps of grieving'. One of them may help you to understand that these steps are normal to go through and might even help you ease into and out of them faster, so they don't hit you so hard. At least you'll be prepared for them.
I'm glad you're doing better.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Maybe I am a Whore! - 4/8/2006 4:58:05 PM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		i'll let you have my pink 10 inch glow in the dark strap-on to use on him

show him what a whore can do,lol.
besides i dont need it anymore, its been gathering dust for ages now.

good luck and may the goddesses smile down on you

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Maybe I am a Whore! - 4/8/2006 5:54:06 PM   
LegoDom


Posts: 5
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		You did the whole "till death do us part" thing. That was your part of the deal. That you were considering divorce, and the status or nature of your relationship with your husband has nothing to do with the FACT that you held up your end of the contract. That fulfills your obligation to him, and to the church, in this matter.

As for how long you should mourn, you've been doing that for the past 8 years... you had already worked through all your emontions around ending the marraige and moving on... granted you were going to do it in a way much less final and absolut, but that you were already prepared to move on and be done with the relationship, that mourning work is complete. Undertandable that you feel sad and vulnerable, afterall, even if you wanted to divorce him, he was still a major part of your life and someone you once loved...

So, go ahead and seek out fun, explore, LIVE.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Maybe I am a Whore! - 4/8/2006 8:09:47 PM   
chainedsinner


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/4/2005
Status: offline 		It sounds to me like this person has the potential of becoming an "on-line predator" If you happen to find out who this is, or if you already know, i would avoid him. Either way, he clearly has his own emotional problems.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Maybe I am a Whore! - 4/8/2006 8:19:20 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Btw, is that you or Liv Tyler?

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Maybe I am a Whore! - 4/8/2006 10:05:07 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		It's Liv Tyler. Someone else asked me that the other day, too.
I have much darker hair that ends at the bottom of my neck. I do Not really look like Liv Tyler at all (but of course she is very pretty). More than one person has told me I look like "Desperate Housewife" actress Teri Hatcher (maybe 10 lbs. heavier). Maybe I should get my own pic and post it but I do work w/kids and the whole idea makes me nervous - I have no idea who is on  here; I only know people by their nics and there are plenty of people from my hometown on this site. I am still thinking that one over. And for anyone who might care, my real name is Suzanne (not Susan). I was tired of Suzanne (I've been a Suzanne my whole life, but never been called Susan much, so I went with Susan for this site. It's not exactly a huge leap or change but I just sort of wanted Susan and not Suzanne (Suzanne's okay, but I've heard it since day one of my life. My relatives all still call me Suzie. I don't mind that). Enough about me, though, he. - Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/8/2006 10:07:28 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Maybe I am a Whore! - 4/9/2006 2:50:02 AM   
slave4Darby3d


Posts: 106
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		you need not explain yourself to anyone - or justify yourself.  It is noone's place to sit in judgement of you - with or without your loss.
This is a community - and every one of them seems to have some idiot that blurts out the most hurtful crap just for the sake of making someone else shrink back.  Really...pay it no attention.  You know who you are and that is all that matters.  The fact that you sought solace and comfort in this community I can understand - and appreciate.  This other person does not truly understand who you or anybody else is, or why you are here.
Don't cry for ignorance.  Don't cry for false judgement.  And for heaven's sake, don't let someone disturb whatever harmony you can get in this world.  You've been through enough...

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Maybe I am a Whore! - 4/9/2006 5:09:57 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		People have been so kind to me on this site except for that one person.
I appreciate your kind comments and really am feeling much much better since I took the past two days to just exist and do things I think are interesting and fun.
Writing that post was mostly an over-reaction due to stress.

I really do feel much better. My moods have been up and down for the past year - and that's why in my profile I say I am not looking for a relationship yet (maybe a few months from now). I don't want to put anyone else through possible mood swings (of mine) - who needs it?. I am waiting until I know I feel a bit more "grounded". More friends are always nice to have (who can have too many of those)?

Although, just as an objective observation,  I must say it's nice to (finally) be in territory where there are real "Manly men" who, I have the impression, truly can take care of themselves (emotionally) - and not only that - maybe someone else, too. I truly haven't sensed many here with a "confidence problem" (ha). It's a Huge relief to even be around that "vibe" and just so refreshing and completely new (for me). It's a real mind-set adjustment for me to be able to really know that's a potential reality. I mean -someone might actually say to me: "You don't have to think about ____ (whatever it is) - that's my concern, don't you worry about it?" Well. Count me in. I do realize subs and slaves have plenty of responsibilities too, and I mostly see myself as being an "island of refuge' for someone else - but still - what a charming concept.

Til then - there is so much good information on this site - and the people are so open - I just really couldn't stay away - or at least, didn't see much reason to stay away longer - (my life got extremely busy last December and I just dropped out of sight for awhile). I just love the people on here. Some are so sarcastically funny; others are so darn sweet you just want to hug them (if you could through the screen). Some are so well-spoken and smart and direct and others are just fonts of information. Some people seem to be all of those things at the same time. It's just plain wonderful.

Today I am just taking off and doing what I want to do - again. Tommorrow it's "back to reality." I put everyone and everything on "hold" for the past two days (maybe I should feel guilty but I just don't - I let people know I am "busy" - doing 'nothing' maybe, but still - I really felt I needed to take time for myself. It feels so good. I think the world can live without me for one more day. Hope you have a very good day. - Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/9/2006 5:38:27 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to slave4Darby3d)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Maybe I am a Whore! - 4/9/2006 6:42:41 AM   
Cuckme4Life


Posts: 168
Joined: 7/8/2005
From: MentallyDeranged,Tn.
Status: offline 		It takes a real coward/loser/jackass/prick/ (take a pick which word) to send a one worded message of that caliper.  A lack of cajones usually causes this effect. 
SusanofO, look at it from this perspective. Only a coward would use the anonymity of the internet to lash out such hatred. If it cant be said to your face, its not worth sweating over. 


.

_____________________________

"Face Your Fears, Live Your Dreams!"-- Nike Corporation

"I will banish them from my kingdom"--- King Willie Herenton, Memphis Tn. Mayor (choke)

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Maybe I am a Whore! - 4/9/2006 7:04:56 AM   
MasterCoyote


Posts: 11
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4Darby3d

you need not explain yourself to anyone - or justify yourself.  It is noone's place to sit in judgement of you - with or without your loss.
This is a community - and every one of them seems to have some idiot that blurts out the most hurtful crap just for the sake of making someone else shrink back.  Really...pay it no attention.  You know who you are and that is all that matters.  The fact that you sought solace and comfort in this community I can understand - and appreciate.  This other person does not truly understand who you or anybody else is, or why you are here.
Don't cry for ignorance.  Don't cry for false judgement.  And for heaven's sake, don't let someone disturb whatever harmony you can get in this world.  You've been through enough...



I dont know you or your situation - but this post sums up how I felt as well when I read your original post.

Be yourself, answer to yourself, and do not wrong others.  As long as you are true to yourself and true in how you represent yourself, and are not acting in malice toward anyone else, then no-one else has any standing to judge you - and if they do, that is their problem, not yours.

You have already paid this person far more attention than they deserve.  Pick up, move on, and don't look back at small-minded fools like that.

(in reply to slave4Darby3d)
Profile   Post #: 74
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