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Do submissives prefer the "bad boy" type? - 5/10/2010 9:03:12 AM   
MysticMaster2u


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/2/2007
From: Newmarket, ON, Canada
Status: offline 		From many of the comments I read in profiles, it seems submissives receive rude, arrogant, insulting, presumptuous, and disrespectful responses from some Doms.  Aside from the those who enjoy humiliation, do you think this type of attitude and approach is effective?  Do submissives think that in order for someone to be Dominant, they also have to be abusive, unmannerly, uncaring, selfish, and possess a four letter word vocabulary?  It seems to me that on some level this type of approach must be working or Doms wouldn't keep using it.  Your thoughts... please and thank you.

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RE: Do submissives prefer the "bad boy" type? - 5/10/2010 9:06:12 AM   
bondmaid123


Posts: 143
Joined: 6/6/2009
Status: offline 		Aside from those who are into the humiliation aspects... I'd say this approach is constantly used because it's really quite simple to affect the "I'm a jerk, DEAL!" mindset.

Speaking for ~myself~, that sort of attitude makes me want to slip poisonous mushrooms into the stew, but that's just me. ;)

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RE: Do submissives prefer the "bad boy" type? - 5/10/2010 9:28:11 AM   
jbcurious


Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I don't believe most Doms would ever aporoach a sub in that manner, what you're dealing with in most of these cases are idiots who have watched too much bad BDSM porn and have an ignorant and incorrect view of the lifestyle.

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RE: Do submissives prefer the "bad boy" type? - 5/10/2010 9:29:31 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Why don't you just stfu and blow Me!

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RE: Do submissives prefer the "bad boy" type? - 5/10/2010 9:36:16 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

I don't believe most Doms would ever aporoach a sub in that manner, what you're dealing with in most of these cases are idiots
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Why don't you just stfu and blow Me!


nothin to add here..


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RE: Do submissives prefer the "bad boy" type? - 5/10/2010 9:56:31 AM   
bondmaid123


Posts: 143
Joined: 6/6/2009
Status: offline 		But, Jefffffffff......

re: anteaters....

"The penis and testes are located internally in the abdominal cavity between the rectum and urinary bladder."

Do you come with an operator's manual?


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RE: Do submissives prefer the "bad boy" type? - 5/10/2010 9:58:13 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
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From: Quietville
Status: offline

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PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


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RE: Do submissives prefer the "bad boy" type? - 5/10/2010 10:21:37 AM   
subsfaith


Posts: 297
Joined: 11/21/2006
Status: offline 		Working on the premise that there is someone for everyone, I am sure there are submissive who like that type.  However, I am not one of them.

I don't find this approach effective, nor do I think those qualities are necessary.  To be of interest to me, they are quite unnecessary.

I would add though, without sockpuppets, what on earth would we do for fun?

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RE: Do submissives prefer the "bad boy" type? - 5/10/2010 10:24:40 AM   
blueeyedbbwsub


Posts: 435
Joined: 12/9/2009
Status: offline 		People sometimes forget that there's a human being at the other end of the keyboard. Doesn't have to do with Dom, has to do with being a person and thinking of your actions before you go forth with said actions. I've now taken to asking some asstards if they'd have the nerve to say <insert rude and crude comment here> if they were to meet me on the street. Actually received an apology yesterday for said rude message. Some can think beyond it, others can't. Wouldn't it be boring if the world were a perfect place to live?

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RE: Do submissives prefer the "bad boy" type? - 5/10/2010 11:33:05 AM   
pegbundy


Posts: 565
Joined: 4/3/2010
Status: offline 		I can't speak to what works for all submissives. For myself, that type of mentality is essentially the opposite of what inspires submission in me.

It can, as others have mentioned, be hugely entertaining. But effective? I have my doubts.

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RE: Do submissives prefer the "bad boy" type? - 5/10/2010 11:44:05 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		My opinion is that the rude approach does not work. There are many reasons why Doms may try it but it isn't successful. As soon as someone tries that with me my opinion of that person is that they are socially retarded assholes who live in a fantasy world and I have no desire for any further contact.

If I'm in the bedroom with my partner we may choose to use that type of language but no one else has the right to just walk up to me out of nowhere and insult me. Life is too short for rudeness and I take great pains to enrich the quality of my life not waste it on negativity.

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RE: Do submissives prefer the "bad boy" type? - 5/10/2010 11:52:24 AM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		i'm attracted to polite, thoughtful, kind, well-mannered, amazingly intelligent, big-hearted men who are also extremely intense and controlling with a sadistic streak.

i love contrasts.

i would say that a lot of new subs think that this is normal, that a Dom is expected to be rude and barking orders left and right.  Eventually it is figured out that serving someone like that often simply isn't sustainable for the long term.

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RE: Do submissives prefer the "bad boy" type? - 5/10/2010 12:43:21 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

i'm attracted to polite, thoughtful, kind, well-mannered, amazingly intelligent, big-hearted men who are also extremely intense and controlling with a sadistic streak.

i love contrasts.

i would say that a lot of new subs think that this is normal, that a Dom is expected to be rude and barking orders left and right.  Eventually it is figured out that serving someone like that often simply isn't sustainable for the long term.


What she said, my thoughts exactly. I do think alot of the dogmatic approaches come from them reading too much garbage on the net and trying to BE a stereotype. That stuff can be hot in the right context, it ain't in my mailbox in the first line of introduction, that's for sure.

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RE: Do submissives prefer the "bad boy" type? - 5/10/2010 12:45:15 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		In the beginning especially, yes.  They want the stereotype.  Over time it is learned that those types are no more desireable than they were in the high school years (which is where most of them are stuck).  Arrogance, selfishness, brutality can all be used well in a master or dominant, but must be tempered by a greater understanding of the whole, a deeper appreciation for balance and unification.

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RE: Do submissives prefer the "bad boy" type? - 5/10/2010 4:23:04 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		There's a difference between stern/terse and asshole. I do not prefer assholes.

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RE: Do submissives prefer the "bad boy" type? - 5/10/2010 4:28:14 PM   
wittynamehere


Posts: 759
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticMaster2u
From many of the comments I read in profiles, it seems submissives receive rude, arrogant, insulting, presumptuous, and disrespectful responses from some Doms.  Aside from the those who enjoy humiliation, do you think this type of attitude and approach is effective?

Yes, for some, it is incredibly effective. Many people won't respond unless the first contact is rude, arrogant, insulting, or some combination of similar attributes. However, far more people use this approach than is justified by the number of people it works on, probably because it's easy, and people are lazy.


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RE: Do submissives prefer the "bad boy" type? - 5/10/2010 4:45:23 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I stopped having any interest in bad boys once I grew up.

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RE: Do submissives prefer the "bad boy" type? - 5/10/2010 5:28:47 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		LA!!!!!! yer BACK!!!!

*Smooches*


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RE: Do submissives prefer the "bad boy" type? - 5/10/2010 5:34:40 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

LA!!!!!! yer BACK!!!!

*Smooches*



You noticed that too, Steven.  I had to look at the post date to be sure it wasn't an old thread.  Welcome back, LA.  Nice to see your pixels around here again. 

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RE: Do submissives prefer the "bad boy" type? - 5/10/2010 5:59:14 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Men with no social skills do this because they see it in porn. And since they have no relationship skills and therefore limited or nonexistant experiences in relationships, they model themselves on what they see in porn.

And even people who enjoy being humiliated by someone they trust dislike it when coming from a stranger.

As far as bad boy stuff, excluding jerk mail, some do. Usually the ones who choose their partners based on how much their parents will hate the other person. Basic adolescent rebelliousness. Of course once you become self aware, assuming you do, you gravitate to people who will complete you and not irk your parents.


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