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SimplyMichael -> RE: So I'm curious (5/12/2010 2:05:10 PM)
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20 years in dysfunctional relationships?
20 years reading about it?
20 years in the scene playing casually?
20 years being held in high regard in a dysfunctional bdsm community?
20 years since you first masturbated to bdsm porn?
OR
A guy who has healthy vanilla relationships, can relate to women as actual multi-dimensional people, has good relationships with his parents and ex partners, holds down a steady job, and in short is a full functioning adult and just found out he was kinky.
Frankly, my money is on the vanilla guy as having more valid "experience" than any of the "20 year guys" I listed.
In my case, I count my experience from the time I first entered the scene, which is about 15 years ago. Now I had kinky relationships before that but to me, that doesn't count. In that time, I have done a fair bit and now teach on bdsm topics, mainly relationship stuff at the national level. I see a lot of people presenting locally who have less than five and quite a few at the national level who don't have 10 years of experience.
While I am the first to say the "scene" has issues, it is also a place that will expand your understanding of all sorts of kink topics from what sort of relationships are out there, ways of doing kink, and all sorts of things, both good and bad. Some with 5 years of active scene involvement in San Francisco is quite likely to have more "experience" than someone with 10-15 in a much smaller community simply due to exposure to such a wide variety of things.
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