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RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? - 5/18/2010 2:10:53 AM   
ranja


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Indeed daddysprop, i do not get you at all, and not that it matters, but i do not believe you either.

You want to come across as the ultimate slave. 100% tuned into the other person totally wishing yourself away... so you are wired that way and as you say with your Daddy you have achieved that goal... well i think you are really just fulfilling your own selfish desire like the rest of us.
Also you prefer to always stay totally in control, so much so that you prefer not to cum...as you state; you have no physical problem to cum, you prefer to stay in control...control...control....control
sorry who was it you are serving?

I am with Des about the older age men and their difficulties reaching orgasms... and any sub or slave totally focused on giving the other the orgasms should prepare themselves for it not always happening... i think if you make it of paramount importance for anybody to cum you are setting yourself  and your partner up for failure.

Orgasms are brilliant but not the be all and end all of it all...although the best orgasms do seem to be the be all and the end all of it all. mmmmm

(in reply to daddysprop247)
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RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? - 5/18/2010 5:08:54 AM   
lally2


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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
.



but why? i mean, why would not having an orgasm for a period of two weeks result in a loss of sleep? considering the fact that there are millions of women on this planet who go their whole lives long without an orgasm and seem to be just fine, how does the lack of regular orgasms threaten the health/physical well-being of a few like yourself?





because she's horny - and horny keeps you awake.  the number of times ive been woken up in the night by a guy who is too horny to sleep - we're no different to be honest.  its a niggling nagging feeling thats almost like an itch, but it isnt, hard to describe.  then you have the built up 'energy' of that need going on.

to be honest, if you dont get the whole orgasm thing and have never really enjoyed them youre not going to understand.  sometimes i have to pleasure myself in order to get to sleep, sometimes the need is like a burning feeling - have you ever had 'honeymoon cystitus' - it feels alot like that, a sort of burning, nagging, tickling aggravation that masturbation doesnt always sort out.

i dont know how true it is that men think about sex every 2 minutes or something, but when im like that its on my mind the whole damn time.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to daddysprop247)
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RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? - 5/18/2010 5:21:52 AM   
lally2


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja
.
You want to come across as the ultimate slave. 100% tuned into the other person totally wishing yourself away... so you are wired that way and as you say with your Daddy you have achieved that goal... well i think you are really just fulfilling your own selfish desire like the rest of us.
Also you prefer to always stay totally in control, so much so that you prefer not to cum...as you state; you have no physical problem to cum, you prefer to stay in control...control...control....control
sorry who was it you are serving?



im not picking that up at all here.  to be honest i think its more a case that she does have a problem with having strongly felt orgasms.  the 'meh' she felt after having one says it all really.  if she doesnt have strong orgasms and/or it takes her a bit of time to reach orgasm then avoiding the pressure of having something she doesnt really get much pleasure from kinda explains why she puts more focus on her Masters pleasure and orgasm and puts little to no importance at all on her own.

her Master clearly endorses that because as she has said, he doesnt have much interest in female sexual arousal anyway.  his driver for sex is 'use' and her pleasure is in accepting that - i think they are therefore a perfect match and it has little or nothing to do with being selfish.  selfish would suggest that she is actively avoiding orgasm for her own purpose.  all that she has done is find herself a man who compliments her ambivilance.

its her inability to fathom the fact that some women need orgasms when she doesnt thats going around and around here.  but if she's never experienced a full orgasm she isnt ever going to ever really understand it i dont think

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to ranja)
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RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? - 5/18/2010 5:58:48 AM   
daddysprop247


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

it is all about submitting to the need of youre Master, whatever he wants he gets to the best of youre ability and thats youre pleasure to provide, whatever that need is and for some its to give a knee knocking, gushing, whooha of an O.


yes you're right that is what it is all about, submitting to the needs, desires, whims of one's Master, and giving absolutely all that you can. that is what i strive to give always. i am aware of course that some Masters place a great deal of importance on a submissive's orgasm, and although my own Master does not share that mindset there was a period of time when i did feel guilty for not being able to ever be that "oooh take me now" horny or superorgasmic girl. too much reading on sites like collarme i guess lol.

also there was an occasion when my Master brought another submissive over to the house for his use, and while i was not in the room i was close enough to hear stuff. what i heard shocked me...she was loudly moaning, sighing and seemingly o'ing all over the place. what shocked me most was that she was not corrected/disciplined for such reactions. so then i started to wonder, maybe sometimes he would enjoy such a response from me? maybe he enjoys the ego boost after all? it was a very insecure feeling, since there's nothing i can actually do about it. even on occasions when i am physically aroused, i maintain the same low key, passive demeanor. it does not change my behavior in any way. it is not a control thing, it just seems to be the way i am. but i was greatly comforted when my Master reassured me that if he found me lacking he would not keep me as his property for so many years. :) He did say that he found it amusing to be with a very different type of submissive on occasion, but that he could not tolerate someone who was so wrapped up in her own sexual arousal on a regular basis.



(in reply to lally2)
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RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? - 5/18/2010 6:09:40 AM   
daddysprop247


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

Indeed daddysprop, i do not get you at all, and not that it matters, but i do not believe you either.

You want to come across as the ultimate slave. 100% tuned into the other person totally wishing yourself away... so you are wired that way and as you say with your Daddy you have achieved that goal... well i think you are really just fulfilling your own selfish desire like the rest of us.
Also you prefer to always stay totally in control, so much so that you prefer not to cum...as you state; you have no physical problem to cum, you prefer to stay in control...control...control....control
sorry who was it you are serving?




contrary to whatever you may believe ranja, i do not wish to seem like "the ultimate slave," whatever that means. i'm aware of the many ways in which i fall short, but like most of us i hope to never stop growing and learning.

perhaps your sexuality is so very different from mine that you cannot fathom the reality of it. and i admit to being guilty of that thinking myself, for the other side. it is hard for me to understand any female, but particularly a submissive-wired female, "needing" an orgasm. it is difficult for me to comprehend the levels of sexual...not sure what to call it...drive? urge? hunger?...described by some of the women here. but i truly do wish to understand. i'd especially like to know if such sexual responses and drives are natural parts of these women, an innate part of their sexuality, or if these things were somehow trained or conditioned into them.

as for control, i have no interest in controlling my own sexuality or anything else. i have never held back a sexual response with my Master or anyone he has had me serve sexually. no, i do not think i have a physical "problem" relating to orgasm, as i have had 2 or 3 with my Master these 10 years, and perhaps 2 others before him. but i am learning that to some people, this would indeed be a problem akin to a sexual dysfunction. it is not a problem for me as i just do not care, and more importantly my Master does not.

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RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? - 5/18/2010 6:15:09 AM   
ranja


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lally i disagree

daddysprop says she has enjoyed full orgasms at times but did not care much for them and she says she is not a good match for any man who wants her to orgasm because she prefers to stay in control so she can take care of the man and serve him 100% (presumably while he loses his control while she gets him to orgasm by being used)
she likes it that way, so does her man, so they both have their selfish desires fullfilled...
imo, and as long as it does not hurt anybody else (not in a bad way anyway), there is absolutely nothing wrong with being selfish.

i am selfish too and i like to cum
i have met people who physically could not cum, they felt they missed something... you can get sort of an orgasm by riding someone elses cum but it is incredibly nice to have your own mind blown at times too and i have not met a person who truly does not care about having a cum ever...

if you can't get there for whatever reason it is experienced as frustrating or at the very least a bit annoying... if a person is denied on purpose as a tease it might even be enjoyable for a while.
Saying it does not matter ever is just not true.



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RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? - 5/18/2010 6:30:57 AM   
ranja


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"i'd especially like to know if such sexual responses and drives are natural parts of these women, an innate part of their sexuality, or if these things were somehow trained or conditioned into them."

you are surely joking eh?

i suggest (as you have an interest to learn) that you ask your daddy if you may please pleasure yourself... and if you manage to hit that button just right (be patient; it might take some practise) maybe you will even reconsider your stance. 

have fun woman

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RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? - 5/18/2010 6:38:26 AM   
daddysprop247


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

lally i disagree

daddysprop says she has enjoyed full orgasms at times but did not care much for them and she says she is not a good match for any man who wants her to orgasm because she prefers to stay in control so she can take care of the man and serve him 100% (presumably while he loses his control while she gets him to orgasm by being used)
she likes it that way, so does her man, so they both have their selfish desires fullfilled...
imo, and as long as it does not hurt anybody else (not in a bad way anyway), there is absolutely nothing wrong with being selfish.

i am selfish too and i like to cum
i have met people who physically could not cum, they felt they missed something... you can get sort of an orgasm by riding someone elses cum but it is incredibly nice to have your own mind blown at times too and i have not met a person who truly does not care about having a cum ever...

if you can't get there for whatever reason it is experienced as frustrating or at the very least a bit annoying... if a person is denied on purpose as a tease it might even be enjoyable for a while.
Saying it does not matter ever is just not true.





it IS true, it obviously is just something beyond your comprehension. i also wonder why you have this need to show such a total lack of respect or even common courtesy for another person.

you also seem to be taking away tiny bits and pieces of what i express and then discarding the rest. never have i said that i focus on a partner's orgasm...i focus on his PLEASURE. there is a difference. nor do i in any way attempt to "control" my own sexual response. i have no ability to make myself become sexually aroused and especially not make myself orgasm...if it happens it is because the other person has naturally evoked that response in my body. i am not a good match for any man who wants an orgasmic woman simply because of the fact that i have no control over it, i have no idea how to bring it about and the pressure of trying to do something which is beyond one's abilities to do is just way too stressful.

orgasms ARE very "meh" for me, but more than that i just do not see any point in them for MY life. they do not enhance the pleasure of my Master, and they do not enhance a sexual experience for me (the distraction and embarrassment of it far overrides the mild butterflies feeling). perhaps i cannot relate to the intensity of sexual arousal those like yourself claim to experience, or perhaps i am just wired very differently.

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RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? - 5/18/2010 6:57:11 AM   
ranja


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For someone who does not care you do seem to have a bit of a bee in your bonnet about the subject... dare i say it... maybe a good o would relieve the tension?

since there is nothing physically wrong with you and you say you do get as aroused as any of us, the lack of orgasms is a mental block, probably control related...
or a crap lover.

but fortunately you are happy with the situation so there is no need to take any action


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RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? - 5/18/2010 7:05:31 AM   
January


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Hi daddysprop,

I find your posts and your questions fascinating. Most of us can relate to your sexual response to some degree. I am not always orgasmic. It isn't a tragedy. When it happens, the focus is just on my partner, which is fine. I call it comfort sex.

You ask if whooha women are naturally orgasmic or conditioned? Well yes, it's natural. You claim your lack of orgasms is also "natural". You do come off a bit smug about that, in my opinion. I seem to recall one of your posts where you describe your daddy conditioning you not to gush with some sort of punishment/correction. Slapping you if you gushed? If that's true, you are in no way naturally non-orgasmic. Even if you believe gushing isn't a prelude or stepping-stone to orgasm, I think it is. I believe you have been forcibly wired not to orgasm.

You also are incredulous when women claim they can't sleep if they are horny. It happens to me. Writing erotica (actually, imagining the scenes) can get me very hot and bothered. Sometimes I imagine those fictional sexual interactions in bed. But as a sexual submissive I cannot wake up the man sleeping right beside me, and demand a good fucking. So I wait, toss and turn all night, miserable, eager for the morning.

Anyway, daddysprop, you bring an interesting perspective to the boards.

January

_____________________________

[link: http://www.bookstrand.com/miss-you-sir] Miss You, Sir by January Rowe is available from Siren now! It's my latest smokin' hot bdsm romance.[/link]




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RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? - 5/18/2010 7:11:05 AM   
Mercnbeth


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quote:

When you are having sex how important is your partners’ orgasm to you?


it depends on how important that orgasm is to HIM...this slave adjusts accordingly.

quote:

If it was just obvious that your partner wasn’t going to cum would you be upset?


it would depend on HIS intent/desire/attitude about it...this slave doesn't require/expect Him to orgasm or not to orgasm, specifically for HER pleasure/enjoyment.

quote:

Could you still have an enjoyable sexual encounter if your partner didn’t cum?


as long as He is satisfied with that outcome...absolutely!

(in reply to TimrehIX)
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RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? - 5/18/2010 7:37:35 AM   
daddysprop247


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quote:

ORIGINAL: January

Hi daddysprop,

I find your posts and your questions fascinating. Most of us can relate to your sexual response to some degree. I am not always orgasmic. It isn't a tragedy. When it happens, the focus is just on my partner, which is fine. I call it comfort sex.

You ask if whooha women are naturally orgasmic or conditioned? Well yes, it's natural. You claim your lack of orgasms is also "natural". You do come off a bit smug about that, in my opinion. I seem to recall one of your posts where you describe your daddy conditioning you not to gush with some sort of punishment/correction. Slapping you if you gushed? If that's true, you are in no way naturally non-orgasmic. Even if you believe gushing isn't a prelude or stepping-stone to orgasm, I think it is. I believe you have been forcibly wired not to orgasm.

You also are incredulous when women claim they can't sleep if they are horny. It happens to me. Writing erotica (actually, imagining the scenes) can get me very hot and bothered. Sometimes I imagine those fictional sexual interactions in bed. But as a sexual submissive I cannot wake up the man sleeping right beside me, and demand a good fucking. So I wait, toss and turn all night, miserable, eager for the morning.



January


January, hello and thank you for at least taking me and my questions seriously.

i am sorry if i somehow come across as "smug," but perhaps it is more defensive (which is no better). so often when i express these aspects of my sexuality to others i have been made to feel as if were either 1. outright lying or 2. defective and freakish. it's difficult feeling like your sexuality is somehow unacceptable, especially in a setting (such as among others in the D/s world) where you would expect quite the opposite. but i apologize for the tone, at any rate.

now you mention Daddy correcting me if i "gush." well i am not exactly sure what you mean by "gushing." if you are referring to being wet, yes in the early days he would discipline me for that as he wanted to ensure that nothing ever distracted me from service. He had no issue with my being physically aroused, nor did he feel that my service in any way suffered because of that arousal...he simply wanted to reinforce this, and ensure there would be no backsliding. that was a part of my very early training however, and not something he has done since the first two years.

but even back then, or going even further back to my life before i was owned, i never experienced any sort of urge for physical release simply because i was aroused. and i had many sexual partners, all quite unique. being physically aroused meant that it would not hurt as much, and it seemed to please some of my partners. otherwise i did not have any strong feelings about my own arousal. i have always felt a deep sense of fulfillment and satiation when a man reaches the height of HIS arousal, whether that was orgasm or something else. it is more than just the need to please, it is also an intense feeling of empathy...difficult to describe. if that is achieved, if he is truly satisfied and at peace, that is more than enough for me.

this discussion has reinforced my theory that one necessary component for having orgasms is the desire for them. i have never, in my adult sexual life, had a real desire for orgasm, only a curiosity about them when i was younger. also i think when you have a desire for this experience, you have some sense of how to make it happen. but if you don't, how would you ever know?





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RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? - 5/18/2010 7:44:02 AM   
Aynne88


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

For someone who does not care you do seem to have a bit of a bee in your bonnet about the subject... dare i say it... maybe a good o would relieve the tension?

since there is nothing physically wrong with you and you say you do get as aroused as any of us, the lack of orgasms is a mental block, probably control related...
or a crap lover.

but fortunately you are happy with the situation so there is no need to take any action




Actually ranja, it seems as though you have the bee in your bonnet over this, I have been here for a few years also and in all that time I have never read anything from Daddy'sProp that would make me think she isn't anything but genuine and I don't get your really hostile attitude towards her.

DaddysProp, I get what you are saying and even though we have very different experiences, that doesn't mean I can't be open minded enough to understand someone's else's.  


_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



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RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? - 5/18/2010 8:15:11 AM   
ranja


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Aynne, i have no bee in my bonnet, i am not hostile, i am having a bit of fun
but to make sure i 'relax' i shall ask for an o this evening

i do indeed not get Daddysprop, i stated that from the start, and if that makes her feel like there is something wrong with her, well unfortunately that is her problem... as she states herself she does not get me either... that does not make me feel like there is something wrong with me.... although i am sure there is more than enough wrong with me at times, i have no problem with it.

Orgasms are lovely, not necessary for everyone, but lovely nevertheless, to give and to get.
orgasms come in many many different gradations (for a better word)
sometimes orgasms even hurt, still they are lovely

some people say that they do not care about orgasms... i hear what they are saying but i do not believe them... and that is my total right.
Oh by the way... i have said it myself too... at both sides of the situation... i thought i was honest and i sort of was... as it is not the be all and end all of sex (as i said before)... but really sex IS better with orgasms... for both sides.

it is like a football game (much as i do not care about football) in the end it feels a bit naff is no one scores... and only 1 score is a bit of a cheat too, 2 or more goals and you find the game really much more satisfying.

and that is the last i have to say about the subject
may all of you enjoy as many ooos as you can

eta
i understand more than you think daddysprop... about the embarrassment of orgasms... i did not always easily cum... there was a time that i did not have a clue how to achieve an orgasm... i had a bf for whom it was incredibly important that he could make me cum... but i could not let go... i did not have the trust in myself or him to let go... i did not want him to see me like 'that'... at the same time i would be up for anything and happy to assume whatever position was required, but in my mind i WAS in control... maybe i would get close but then it would always just disappear in thin air... eventually i faked it to satisfy him... that was obviously a ridiculous idea, but there you go.
anyway... i found it difficult to cum because i was scared of it, scared of giving it up, scared of letting go, scared of letting him see me like 'that' (not that i would have admitted to any of that at the time though)

things are different for everybody, and i do not believe everybody


< Message edited by ranja -- 5/18/2010 8:30:27 AM >

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RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? - 5/18/2010 10:09:15 AM   
FetishRose


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For me, my Sir's enjoyment is far more important than my own.  When we have sex, I find a lot more fulfillment in being what he wanted me to be in that moment, in finding him release, than in my own orgasm.
However, most often, he wants me to orgasm, as many times and as hard as I can.  That gives him pleasure, and taps into the "dom ego" thing.  Occasionally, though, it is all about him.  He has the right to bend me over and take me at any time he wants.  During those excursions, I am often told to not reach orgasm, or it's over too quickly for me too anyway...but I still love him doing that, because it is all about him.


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RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? - 5/18/2010 10:13:03 AM   
ResidentSadist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TimrehIX

When you are having sex how important is your partners’ orgasm to you? ...

It depends if I am trying to make them cum or not. I dont always fuck my bitch for her pleasure ya' know. Sometimes it's just for me and I dont give a fuck if she is crying, bleeding and pissing . . . much less whether or not she cums.


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RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? - 5/18/2010 10:18:50 AM   
SimplyMichael


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Some days it is hot to say "I am just using you for my pleasure" some days it is hot to say "I know your cunt is sore but I want you to cum one more time" and sometimes making someone cum in ways they have never come before is just fucking hot.

Am I a slave to their orgasms? No. Do I care about my partner's pleasure, oh hell yeah. Sometimes her pleasure comes from being denied, sometimes it comes from being spoiled, sometimes I can't get them to cum, sometimes I just tease them to the edge so they know I could but I don't. Bottom line, looking back, I want them to just smile as their cunt gets wet at thoughts of having sex with me.

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RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? - 5/18/2010 10:22:28 AM   
Falkenstein


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Like most Doms here, I find that my sub's orgasms do matter a lot. After all, I take care of her health and happiness, thus I suppose that this comes with the territory.

However, I try not to be to much bend upon it, externally, to avoid putting pressure on her. I think that a sub will cum more easily if she is told not to, than the opposite.

I also consider very important that sometimes she does not cum. That she feels used like a sex toy and does not think of herself as a sex partner. Of course she deeply enjoy this treatment, but I do not think she would like it if it were the norm in our relation.

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RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? - 5/18/2010 10:41:44 AM   
daddysprop247


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Falkenstein

Like most Doms here, I find that my sub's orgasms do matter a lot. After all, I take care of her health and happiness, thus I suppose that this comes with the territory.




what if your girl could be healthy and content without ever having an orgasm...would it still be important to you? would you find yourself become bored with the sex life if your girl did not orgasm?

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RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? - 5/18/2010 11:10:20 AM   
DesFIP


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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

For daddysprop, when he put me on orgasm denial for a couple of weeks it resulted in sleep deprivation. I stopped sleeping more than 20 minutes at a time. And that for me is not a trivial thing.





but why? i mean, why would not having an orgasm for a period of two weeks result in a loss of sleep? considering the fact that there are millions of women on this planet who go their whole lives long without an orgasm and seem to be just fine, how does the lack of regular orgasms threaten the health/physical well-being of a few like yourself?





I would love to see your research. There are also tens of millions who orgasm their whole lives to whom being trained through immediate punishment not to orgasm like you have been would be incomprehensible.

I'm not a sleep researcher so I don't know the physiological process involved. If you want to know how this works I suggest you contact one or a sex therapist.

I also stop sleeping when he plays with me in his sleep. He likes that a lot. It absolutely does it for him to have me wake him up begging and pleading, nearly in tears from being kept on edge all night.

As far as your question about compatibility with a woman who was no longer able or interested in orgasming, he made it clear in the beginning that matching libido was essential to his definition of compatibility. He gets turned off if his partner doesn't find him the hottest thing on wheels. But he's not a sadist therefore he doesn't get off by making his partner not enjoy things. Sadists get off on that, it has nothing to do with dominance per se and everything to do with sadism. And as you've seen, lots of sadists also want to have their partners scream out with the pleasure that only they can provide. There are lots of people out there whom I wouldn't enjoy being with. Sexually speaking he's the only one I can enjoy being with. Which means I'm submissive to one, and not to everyone.


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