RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm?

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Falkenstein -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 11:36:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daddysprop247 quote: ORIGINAL: Falkenstein Like most Doms here, I find that my sub's orgasms do matter a lot. After all, I take care of her health and happiness, thus I suppose that this comes with the territory. what if your girl could be healthy and content without ever having an orgasm...would it still be important to you? would you find yourself become bored with the sex life if your girl did not orgasm? Hello daddysprop, good to hear from you again I could not find a smiley scratching his head, but frankly, I never saw the question in that light. You ask a very good question. For me, it is a lot of fun of touching, carressing a woman, trying to find the right pressure, putting her into the right posture until she spams under pleasure, try to move her over-sensitive flesh away from my fingers -- not to mention other body parts -- (but she can't go very far because she is tied) and finally begs me to stop. It is even more fun when we do week-end pseudo-science-project, as in "Today's research project: how often can a sub come in a day?"[8\|] Especially at then end of the day, when I look at the results on my paper board. "Darling, only eight times, is something wrong with your health?" "We have at least seven more to go according to my research on google, I will cancel our table at the restaurant". Of course, she is gagged and bound so her answer is somewhat unintelligible. [X(] So actually, it is a lot of fun and I would miss it, even if my girl did not.

lally2 -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 11:36:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ranja .i did not want him to see me like 'that'... at the same time i would be up for anything and happy to assume whatever position was required, but in my mind i WAS in control... maybe i would get close but then it would always just disappear in thin air... eventually i faked it to satisfy him... that was obviously a ridiculous idea, but there you go. . things are different for everybody, and i do not believe everybody ranja, i think that maybe youre transferring youre experience here across to daddysprop and based on that youre basically calling her a liar, which is quite annoying - im not annoyed, but i think daddysprop is doing well not to be. i think you can be conditioned not to want/expect/desire orgasm. i certainly was in an Ms relationship where my orgasm was not important to him in the same way with other Dominants before and since. in that relationship my orientation to orgasm took back stage and i orgasm easily and strongly, even so it became less important to me because i knew it wasnt necessarily going to happen. so on a sliding scale you can be with a D who wants you to orgasm on command you can be with a D who wants you to orgasm occassionally and you can be with a D who doesnt consider youre orgasm in any way important or required. in all of those situations you become conditioned to that situation and to the requirements of the D youre with. that isnt about being an uber sub its just about responding to the dynamic youre in. for someone who loves to O and can do so easily i can tell you it is totally possible to put youre orgasm expectations on hold - im not sure how i did it but i did. i just accepted i wasnt getting an O. but then again i wasnt denied the freedom to self-pleasure later and as much as i liked. it didnt detract from what we did or the pleasure we got from each other. the emphasis was on him and his pleasure which kinda took me off the hook in terms of being anything other than an object for use, i could just slip into service mode and not think about myself at all, which for a service orientated sub who dislikes any focus was incredibly easy to do. so it is more than possible - add to that daddysprops inexperience with orgasms and her 'meh' feeling when she does i can totally see where she's coming from.

Mercnbeth -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 11:46:29 AM)
quote: It absolutely does it for him to have me wake him up begging and pleading, nearly in tears from being kept on edge all night...But he's not a sadist therefore he doesn't get off by making his partner not enjoy things. so, the fact that you enjoy the insomnia and being kept so wound up with sexual tension that you are almost in tears begging and pleading means that he ISN'T a sadist? LOL!!!

daddysprop247 -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 11:53:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Falkenstein So actually, it is a lot of fun and I would miss it, even if my girl did not. Falkenstein, thank you for your honest answer.

CalifChick -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 11:56:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daddysprop247 if you are referring to being wet, yes in the early days he would discipline me for that... i never experienced any sort of urge for physical release simply because i was aroused... i have never, in my adult sexual life, had a real desire for orgasm... Punished for being aroused. PUNISHED. Feelings of humiliation at your own sexual arousal. And you don't see any issues with this combination? No desire for sexual release, ever. EVER. Most doctors would say you probably have a hormone imbalance. Cali

SimplyMichael -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 11:57:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: It absolutely does it for him to have me wake him up begging and pleading, nearly in tears from being kept on edge all night...But he's not a sadist therefore he doesn't get off by making his partner not enjoy things. so, the fact that you enjoy the insomnia and being kept so wound up with sexual tension that you are almost in tears begging and pleading means that he ISN'T a sadist? LOL!!! Shit, now I am so confused. If they enjoy being miserable and I make them happy, am I a nice guy or a sadist? If I torment them because they want me to am I submissive to their desires? If they don't want to cum and I make them am I a mean jerk? What if I give them a brand new Hitachi but rewire it with the wrong plug so they can't use it?

Mercnbeth -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 12:01:06 PM)
quote: What if I give them a brand new Hitachi but rewire it with the wrong plug so they can't use it? personally...this slave would be grateful!!! (not a hitachi fan)[:)]

BeachMystress -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 12:12:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP But he's not a sadist therefore he doesn't get off by making his partner not enjoy things. Sadists get off on that, it has nothing to do with dominance per se and everything to do with sadism. Don't ya just love it when one-true-wayism pops up again? Do not presume to say what I do or do not enjoy. I am a sadist. I do what I enjoy if my partner enjoys it or not! He could LOVE what I'm doing. I don't care as long as I am getting what I want. Much of what I do my husband enjoys- no he's not maso. Perhaps you shouldn't make sweeping generalizations. You do remember what they say about assume? And FYI, the lil scenario of "It absolutely does it for him to have me wake him up begging and pleading, nearly in tears from being kept on edge all night." sounds sadistic to me.

SimplyMichael -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 12:12:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: What if I give them a brand new Hitachi but rewire it with the wrong plug so they can't use it? personally...this slave would be grateful!!! (not a hitachi fan)[:)] I hate the fucking things to, personally, the moment a dom takes one out he goes down a notch in my book.

BeachMystress -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 12:25:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: What if I give them a brand new Hitachi but rewire it with the wrong plug so they can't use it? personally...this slave would be grateful!!! (not a hitachi fan)[:)] I hate the fucking things to, personally, the moment a dom takes one out he goes down a notch in my book. My Hitachi is MINE. No sub ever gets it. Mine.. mine.. all mine. The problem is that it is a very powerful tool that needs to be understood and learned, just as a cane or bullwhip. Most use it like a sledge hammer when it should be more like the kiss of a butterfly wing. Shove it on a woman's clit and most women will shortly be numb. Gently brushed over the pubic mound at the right time and you've given her an awesomely enhanced "O."

SimplyMichael -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 12:27:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BeachMystress quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: What if I give them a brand new Hitachi but rewire it with the wrong plug so they can't use it? personally...this slave would be grateful!!! (not a hitachi fan)[:)] I hate the fucking things to, personally, the moment a dom takes one out he goes down a notch in my book. My Hitachi is MINE. No sub ever gets it. Mine.. mine.. all mine. The problem is that it is a very powerful tool that needs to be understood and learned, just as a cane or bullwhip. Most use it like a sledge hammer when it should be more like the kiss of a butterfly wing. Shove it on a woman's clit and most women will shortly be numb. Gently brushed over the pubic mound at the right time and you've given her an awesomely enhanced "O." I like to think I give plenty of "awesomely enhanced Os"!

ranja -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 12:35:02 PM)
"ranja, i think that maybe youre transferring youre experience here across to daddysprop and based on that youre basically calling her a liar, which is quite annoying - im not annoyed, but i think daddysprop is doing well not to be." lally, i think everybody talks from their own minds and their own experiences, i do not transfer anything. and i am not calling daddysprop a liar, she might be joking in which case she would just be fibbing a bit or she might even be serious and 100% believe what she says, i know i was sure about my not being bothered when i thought like that... it is just that i do not buy it now... indeed because i have changed myself, daddysprop might never change and for the rest of her life be happy not reaching orgasms. If my situation would change back and for some reason i would not beable to get there anymore, well i would have to make the best of things and life would go on... i could still have fun and serve and be used and give cums to others but it would be a loss to me and there is noway i would beable to shrug it off so easily like it does not matter daddysprop should not feel annoyed because she is happy with her situation, but if she is annoyed i am sure she is capable enough to voice that herself.

jbcurious -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 12:38:46 PM)
Making a note to self [8\|] I've avoided vibrators in general, I'm sensitive and they just make me numb... I never considered that placement. Thanks, (off to look for batteries...)

laurell3 -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 12:44:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aynne88 quote: ORIGINAL: ranja For someone who does not care you do seem to have a bit of a bee in your bonnet about the subject... dare i say it... maybe a good o would relieve the tension? since there is nothing physically wrong with you and you say you do get as aroused as any of us, the lack of orgasms is a mental block, probably control related... or a crap lover. but fortunately you are happy with the situation so there is no need to take any action Actually ranja, it seems as though you have the bee in your bonnet over this, I have been here for a few years also and in all that time I have never read anything from Daddy'sProp that would make me think she isn't anything but genuine and I don't get your really hostile attitude towards her. DaddysProp, I get what you are saying and even though we have very different experiences, that doesn't mean I can't be open minded enough to understand someone's else's. Agreed. She's never been anything but completely kind, polite and honest in my years on this forum and these posts are completely consistent with what she has been posting for years. Her thing is hers, leave her alone and do yours. and yeah I agree on the hitachis, jackhammering my way to an orgasm with an overly bulky power tool ain't really something I'm interested in.

ghitaPVH -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 12:50:07 PM)
Not a hitachi fan here either..... To completely NOT answer your question... Sometimes I care about whether or not my partner has an orgasm. Some times I dont. Sometimes I care whether I orgasm, sometimes I cant, and I know I cant, and it really doesnt matter. Sometimes I lay awake in pain because Im so horny and cant do anything about it. Sometimes there is no way in hell I want another orgasm they hurt so badly. Depends on who Im with. Depends on the situation. Depends on what they want and expect from me.

switch2please -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 1:04:24 PM)
Some men can come and be ready for another round in minutes. Some men can come once and are useless for hours. B identifies with the latter category and I am, according to him, "the horniest girl ever" so some days he won't come until he's had me a few times. For me my partner's pleasure is integral to sex, so while I definitely appreciate the extra attention and I know he's enjoying himself, I don't get that afterglow feeling until he's reached orgasm too. It's like the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow - I know it's there, so I feel a little gypped if I don't get to see it!

domrader -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 4:25:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael Shit, now I am so confused. If they enjoy being miserable and I make them happy, am I a nice guy or a sadist? If I torment them because they want me to am I submissive to their desires? If they don't want to cum and I make them am I a mean jerk? What if I give them a brand new Hitachi but rewire it with the wrong plug so they can't use it? First of all, I like to see how many doms feel the same way about sub's orgasms as I do, yet at the same time I have the same question as SimplyMichael, but when I think about it this is how I feel. If you do as they desire, its because you chose to, not that they ordered it. You can order your submissive to help you with a desire, but they cannot. Now if they did order you to do something, that changes dynamic, but as long as you choose, you are simply being a good dom by making them feel special for satisfying that desire. BTW, hitachis are the unsexiest sex toy I have ever seen and are a turn off.

daddysprop247 -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 4:51:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick quote: ORIGINAL: daddysprop247 if you are referring to being wet, yes in the early days he would discipline me for that... i never experienced any sort of urge for physical release simply because i was aroused... i have never, in my adult sexual life, had a real desire for orgasm... Punished for being aroused. PUNISHED. Feelings of humiliation at your own sexual arousal. And you don't see any issues with this combination? No desire for sexual release, ever. EVER. Most doctors would say you probably have a hormone imbalance. Cali so a female must be suffering from some sort of hormone imbalance simply because she does not have a desire to cum? so i take it your assumption is that every "healthy" human being craves orgasms? somehow, with the immense diversity of human sexuality, not to mention the complexities of female sexuality in particular, i just don't agree with that line of thinking. also, i was never punished for being physically aroused. i was disciplined as a training tool, there is a big difference. my embarrassment issues with being aroused long predate my relationship with Daddy, and it has only been his patient reassurance which has lessened that.

SimplyMichael -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 4:52:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domrader I have the same question as SimplyMichael, but when I think about it this is how I feel. Sorry about the sarcasm but I was kidding. I love making my women orgasm, I love tormenting them by not letting them orgasm, I love being both lover and sadist. There are two tricks to all this. One is knowing yourself and what does and doesn't work for you so that you learn to pick the right partners and can communicate that clearly ahead of time. The other is knowing that "our" sort of women enjoy a bit of both and finding their sweet spot. Perhaps a better way of it is develop the confidence to be an acquired taste knowing that most women don't want a man like you and be happy they don't. Instead, treasure those very special women who DO desire what you have to offer.

CalifChick -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 5:12:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daddysprop247 so a female must be suffering from some sort of hormone imbalance simply because she does not have a desire to cum? so i take it your assumption is that every "healthy" human being craves orgasms? somehow, with the immense diversity of human sexuality, not to mention the complexities of female sexuality in particular, i just don't agree with that line of thinking. Zero desire for sexual release is not a "normal" condition in a "normal" human (everybody feel free to NOT jump all over those terms). You seem to think I am making this up. I'm not. quote: also, i was never punished for being physically aroused. i was disciplined as a training tool, there is a big difference. my embarrassment issues with being aroused long predate my relationship with Daddy, and it has only been his patient reassurance which has lessened that. You were given a correction for being aroused, a condition which you had no control over. You might as well have been "disciplined" for being hot or being cold. It is obvious your embarrasment over sex goes back a long ways, you said so yourself. I didn't say he caused it. I asked if you didn't see any issues with that combination. Cali

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