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daddysprop247 -> RE: How important is your partners’ orgasm? (5/18/2010 7:37:35 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: January
Hi daddysprop,
I find your posts and your questions fascinating. Most of us can relate to your sexual response to some degree. I am not always orgasmic. It isn't a tragedy. When it happens, the focus is just on my partner, which is fine. I call it comfort sex.
You ask if whooha women are naturally orgasmic or conditioned? Well yes, it's natural. You claim your lack of orgasms is also "natural". You do come off a bit smug about that, in my opinion. I seem to recall one of your posts where you describe your daddy conditioning you not to gush with some sort of punishment/correction. Slapping you if you gushed? If that's true, you are in no way naturally non-orgasmic. Even if you believe gushing isn't a prelude or stepping-stone to orgasm, I think it is. I believe you have been forcibly wired not to orgasm.
You also are incredulous when women claim they can't sleep if they are horny. It happens to me. Writing erotica (actually, imagining the scenes) can get me very hot and bothered. Sometimes I imagine those fictional sexual interactions in bed. But as a sexual submissive I cannot wake up the man sleeping right beside me, and demand a good fucking. So I wait, toss and turn all night, miserable, eager for the morning.
January
January, hello and thank you for at least taking me and my questions seriously.
i am sorry if i somehow come across as "smug," but perhaps it is more defensive (which is no better). so often when i express these aspects of my sexuality to others i have been made to feel as if were either 1. outright lying or 2. defective and freakish. it's difficult feeling like your sexuality is somehow unacceptable, especially in a setting (such as among others in the D/s world) where you would expect quite the opposite. but i apologize for the tone, at any rate.
now you mention Daddy correcting me if i "gush." well i am not exactly sure what you mean by "gushing." if you are referring to being wet, yes in the early days he would discipline me for that as he wanted to ensure that nothing ever distracted me from service. He had no issue with my being physically aroused, nor did he feel that my service in any way suffered because of that arousal...he simply wanted to reinforce this, and ensure there would be no backsliding. that was a part of my very early training however, and not something he has done since the first two years.
but even back then, or going even further back to my life before i was owned, i never experienced any sort of urge for physical release simply because i was aroused. and i had many sexual partners, all quite unique. being physically aroused meant that it would not hurt as much, and it seemed to please some of my partners. otherwise i did not have any strong feelings about my own arousal. i have always felt a deep sense of fulfillment and satiation when a man reaches the height of HIS arousal, whether that was orgasm or something else. it is more than just the need to please, it is also an intense feeling of empathy...difficult to describe. if that is achieved, if he is truly satisfied and at peace, that is more than enough for me.
this discussion has reinforced my theory that one necessary component for having orgasms is the desire for them. i have never, in my adult sexual life, had a real desire for orgasm, only a curiosity about them when i was younger. also i think when you have a desire for this experience, you have some sense of how to make it happen. but if you don't, how would you ever know?
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