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Singing the Dungeon Blues - 5/16/2010 5:29:18 PM   
laineyjade


Posts: 56
Joined: 6/4/2007
Status: offline 		(Stuff that has actually happened to me at various munches, dungeons, and fetish events)

Note that all of the below do NOT come with an ignore button when you're in a real-life dungeon!

Stupid malicious gossip and drama, politics, cliques, and high-school behaviors

Subs being hostile to me because of my looks/age/style of serving/whatever

Doms hitting on me inappropriately, especially married-and-cheating doms

Blaring music being played preventing conversation

Having to listen politely to lectures on opinions I have strong feelings against

Watching couples who don't get along being mean and disrespectful to each other

Winding up being some sub's shoulder to cry on when her mean and disrespectful dom pushes her buttons, and her having no further use for me when she's finished weeping and spilling her sob story to me

Being questioned about my kinks by people who have no clue and no real reason to question me, who are almost exclusively male

Seeing male subs surreptitiously masturbating through their nylon g-string while their balls hang out the side

Meeting people who appear to be mentally or emotionally unbalanced rather than into BDSM

Doms with strict definitions of TRUE submissiveness praising me for being a TRUE submissive whilst making wild assumptions about my character, feelings and training

Doms with strict definitions of TRUE submissiveness telling me if my master were a TRUE master he'd be training me differently

Doms lecturing me about what they would change about me if I belonged to them

Doms thinking it's okay to order me to put shoes on because I might cut my pretty little feet on broken glass if I am barefoot, when half the male subs are walking around barefoot

Getting stuck listening to someone endlessly drone on about her surgery/fibromyalgia/bipolar disorder

Feeling weird and getting judged for being a slave and having no limits or choices

Watching bratty subs getting praised for exercising their limits and choices loudly and obnoxiously

Being asked "What sort of control?" if I am dumb enough to say that I am into being controlled

The creepy feeling of all eyes being on me if I serve my master in the rather formal way he requires

Having to literally wedge my way in between the 15 single men sitting at the bar in order to get my master an ice water and having them leer at me while I order

The filthy public bathroom because there is no janitor on staff

Seeing people near-naked who have physical deformities that probably should have remained covered up (in one case a near-naked male sub with an exposed colostomy bag--yeah, I wanted to see that)

....and my favorite one of all:

Doms who try to flatter me by telling me I'm so much thinner and prettier than that fat ugly sub over there--and the sub over there is my best friend and lover.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Singing the Dungeon Blues - 5/16/2010 5:39:09 PM   
January


Posts: 891
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline 		Hi lainey,

I enjoyed your post.

But I have to say, most of the stuff you described happens in the vanilla world, too.

January

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RE: Singing the Dungeon Blues - 5/16/2010 5:43:12 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Why do you go? You obviously are a masochist.

However, many of these things would have probably transpired in the 'nilla world as well. You are attractive and you are going to get your fair amount of attention and it cannot be expected to be all roses.

Which really reflects poorly on you complaining about things that are out of your control.

Why would you think that a bdsm event would be an uber groovy event? Do you not read these forums and look at the people that attend these fucked up soirees?

While I can understand your complaints, I think that it shows a complete lack of understanding of your surroundings and your fellow kinksters and their inherent shortcomings.

It's akin to going to A Dungeon And Dragons get together and then complaining about their lack of social skills.

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RE: Singing the Dungeon Blues - 5/16/2010 5:55:53 PM   
laineyjade


Posts: 56
Joined: 6/4/2007
Status: offline 		I just felt like being negative. Don't take it so seriously. I don't.

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RE: Singing the Dungeon Blues - 5/16/2010 5:58:05 PM   
subangi


Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline 		Was there anything positive about your experience?

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RE: Singing the Dungeon Blues - 5/16/2010 5:59:19 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Why would you think that a bunch of people who gather based solely upon their interest in bdsm and kink would lead to something positive?

I can't imagine any thing else transpiring other than the outcome that you have experienced.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 5/16/2010 6:00:48 PM >

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RE: Singing the Dungeon Blues - 5/16/2010 5:59:52 PM   
laineyjade


Posts: 56
Joined: 6/4/2007
Status: offline 		Yes but if I listed the positive things then it wouldn't be funny anymore (by funny I mean funny to me).

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RE: Singing the Dungeon Blues - 5/16/2010 6:04:09 PM   
laineyjade


Posts: 56
Joined: 6/4/2007
Status: offline 		>>Why would you think that a bunch of people who gather based solely upon their interest in bdsm and kink would lead to something positive?

Your assumption that I think that is highly illogical. Logic is the One True Way. Now you may ask me why I am such a stupid, spoiled whore.

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RE: Singing the Dungeon Blues - 5/16/2010 6:12:36 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I can't imagine any thing else transpiring other than the outcome that you have experienced.
I can vouch that some clubs aren't like that at all-it takes sensitive and aware management, good monitors, the right venue and a thousand other things but if you can't imagine a positive BDSM club then the issue is with your imagination, not the reality of the situation.


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RE: Singing the Dungeon Blues - 5/16/2010 7:38:58 PM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laineyjade
Note that all of the below do NOT come with an ignore button when you're in a real-life dungeon!


Every single dungeon I have ever been to had a door that allowed people to leave as well as enter.




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RE: Singing the Dungeon Blues - 5/16/2010 8:02:36 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline 		I think all that might make me jump off a building. I've pretty much always thought hell is other people. I can't imagine a crowded, intimate, loud, stinky, BDSM public environment.

I'd rather see it all as just following the white rabbit and meeting trinity.

------

Right now, all I can tell is that you are in danger. They are watching you.....

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 5/16/2010 8:05:55 PM >

(in reply to laineyjade)
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RE: Singing the Dungeon Blues - 5/16/2010 11:16:31 PM   
sansoo99


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/16/2010
Status: offline 		wow I have had great experiences ...so far...pretty cool places in So Cal

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RE: Singing the Dungeon Blues - 5/16/2010 11:21:39 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		actually, I found the OP rather amusing.

especially the bit about male subs surreptitiously masturbating..

reminded me of Hellfire, in NYC... ok, so not ALL of it was surreptitious, but still...LOL

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RE: Singing the Dungeon Blues - 5/16/2010 11:58:18 PM   
reynardfox


Posts: 417
Joined: 9/8/2009
Status: offline 		Wonderful! You are not being rude, just accurate.
Munches are awash with weaklings and nutcases, but then, so is everywhere else.
At least in a munch you get the chance to good good real people, and often do.
It's amazing how much dirt you go through to find a diamond.

(in reply to laineyjade)
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RE: Singing the Dungeon Blues - 5/16/2010 11:59:44 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		Im still attempting ot figure out if she is a drama whore or a attention whore..... Lemme get back to you on that.

BadOne

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RE: Singing the Dungeon Blues - 5/17/2010 12:34:30 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laineyjade



Seeing people near-naked who have physical deformities that probably should have remained covered up
....and my favorite one of all:

Doms who try to flatter me by telling me I'm so much thinner and prettier than that fat ugly sub over there--and the sub over there is my best friend and lover.


It sounds like you need to get yourself along to a club for beautiful people only! Fet clubs would possibly be a better option because you really do get a good selection of 'the beautiful' The only trouble with fet clubs is, you have to spend half your evening telling people and listening to people say 'darling you look devine' but even in fet clubs we celebrate the fact that all shapes and sizes as well as people with physical deformities are welcome to show off a bit of flesh.
We have a woman who has severe body burns celebrate the fact that she can go into a fet club and walk around half naked without upsetting or shocking people and I find it sad that you feel that people like her should cover up.

As for the rest of your post, your right. Men love eye candy and some female fruggles will find you offensive!
Its much easier being a Domme because you can just waft away the unwanted with your hand but then again, you were with your partner and I'm wondering why he didn't waft them away, especially the Doms that were chasing your tail.


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RE: Singing the Dungeon Blues - 5/17/2010 5:13:39 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laineyjade

Yes but if I listed the positive things then it wouldn't be funny anymore (by funny I mean funny to me).


Oh, ok. Thanks for clearing that up because I looked again and I didn't see anything funny in there.


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RE: Singing the Dungeon Blues - 5/17/2010 5:14:50 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I can't imagine any thing else transpiring other than the outcome that you have experienced.
I can vouch that some clubs aren't like that at all-it takes sensitive and aware management, good monitors, the right venue and a thousand other things but if you can't imagine a positive BDSM club then the issue is with your imagination, not the reality of the situation.



Yea, I agree. I have been to a lot of parties and had a great time.


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RE: Singing the Dungeon Blues - 5/17/2010 5:27:15 AM   
OrpheusAgonistes


Posts: 253
Joined: 3/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

actually, I found the OP rather amusing.

especially the bit about male subs surreptitiously masturbating..

reminded me of Hellfire, in NYC... ok, so not ALL of it was surreptitious, but still...LOL

Ha ha!

Yeah, but in fairness to Hellfire's denizens, I'm pretty sure everything the OP described is also stuff one would be likely to encounter at any club in the city, or any bar in NoHo, at any NYU film school party, or waiting in line at Burgers and Cupcakes in Chelsea (especially on a night when Hedda Lettuce was hosting Bette Davis movie night at that theater across the street).

It's both irritating and amusing to live in a time when the idea of discretion is not exactly valued.  Depends on mood and perspective, I think.  Like Walpole wrote "Life is tragedy for those who feel, comedy for those who think."


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RE: Singing the Dungeon Blues - 5/17/2010 5:32:18 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		I would have felt sorry for the OP if she didnt sound so judgemental and arrogant...

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