LadyNTrainer
Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SocratesNot
"If your partner is NOT interested in you unless you offer some financial tribute OR some other kind of useful practical work, you should never be in a relationship with her / him, no matter what kind of relationship it is, D/s or vanilla, online or real life."
It could also be said in this way:
"You should only be in a relationship with a partner who is interested in you as a person regardless of any economical or other utilitarian benefits they may get from you."
Couple ways to look at this. A relationship can be mutually fulfilling even if it is not romantic or idealistic. Consider for instance an apprenticeship. In exchange for working a number of hours, you will be taught a skill. Consider also any vanilla job situation. You work, you get rewarded. You hire a pro domme, whether in the coin of money or your hours of labor, you get the exact fetish fulfillment session you want. You give X, you get Y. If it is a fair exchange and mutually agreeable to both parties, then it works for them.
Sometimes the exchange can be subtle and it can be hard to tell what the person on one end is actually getting out of the arrangement. The only real answer is to ask the person whether they feel they are getting enough out of the relationship to voluntarily continue it without any outside pressure or need to do so. Remember that their answers may be entirely different from yours, because their fun buttons get pushed by entirely different things.
If you, personally, have the specific need to be in a relationship where you are highly valued, appreciated and wanted as a person, and you would not be capable of enjoying any form of intimacy if this need was not met, that's totally understandable. I'm wired that way too; I really dislike being objectified and seen as a fetish provider or as a set of tits with a whip. I'm perfectly willing to go there (with limits on the amount of intimacy) for money or labor, as that is a fair exchange, but I won't be unilaterally used that way for free.
Now by your advice nobody should ever engage me as a service fetish provider on that basis, and I don't agree. I won't ever lead someone on and tell them that this is a road to real intimacy or a personal or romantic relationship, because it's not. But it is a fair and legitimate exchange for two people to get what benefits them and to make a fully consensual agreement as to who gives what and who gets what. It's only a problem when deception is involved, which admittedly can be fairly often with "stealth pros" who are not ethical in their business practices or who claim not to be engaging in pro fetish provider work when in fact they basically are.
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Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.
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RE: An interesting piece of advice - do you agree with it? - 
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RE: An interesting piece of advice - do you agree with it? - 
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