cloudboy
Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005 Status: offline
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Many might split hairs with your post here, but I pretty much agree with it 100%. For instance, I don't think LuckyAlbatross, playing the contrarian here, would like to clean house for someone who thought she was ding-bat and who was also physically repulsed by her body. LadyHibiscus who strikes a seemingly disagreeable tone with you, actually agrees with you 100%, as she seems to have an aversion to being used by a partner. I also agree with Rochsub in some ways, mainly that whatever works -- works -- even if it defies "the rules." Still, this doesn't mean a person can't postulate guidelines and relationship target objectives. As for Jeff, "It seems to me that you don't want to submit, you want to be pleased. There is nothing wrong with that, it just isn't submission." I mean, what the fuck is this crap? If submission was not pleasing, no one would do it. Would they? Its pure idiocy to think subs can't think about and want their own needs met. "You seem to view things as the act and then impress certain things upon those acts. The reality is that acts are nothing, they are space holders. We can (and do) fill them with what works for us. " (LA again) This strikes me as part insightful, and part sophomoric. If someone points a gun at my head, mugs me, and takes my wallet by force --- I would call this a robbery and the law would classify it a crime. What happened certainly is "something," and I would take issue with someone trying to spin it otherwise. Using relativist jargon is not a suitable way to understand experiences and what's happening in the world. Observations, perceptions, and cognition of experience can always be better, more accurate, and closer to reality. To give all views equal weight means you've lost all sense of measurement. Must say that I'm stunned by how many folks seem like the idea of transactional relationships. I side with Eric Fromm, its what you put into a relationship (humor, energy, money, perceptions, skills, culture) that powers it forward. Hopefully one's partner would appreciated those very things.
< Message edited by cloudboy -- 5/21/2010 7:42:06 PM >
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